Vandal Love (2 page)

When Jude and Isa-Marie were ten, their grandmother, shocking village and curé alike, claimed that the ghost of her son had visited, some long-lost favourite of hers who’d fled west and never returned. In her stolid way she’d said that out there in the vast, English-speaking world she had other grandchildren that needed saving. Though Hervé Hervé tried to curb this madness, she left in the night with only her knitting and egg money, as
well as some baby clothes and hand-me-downs, and was never seen again. The betrayal enraged Hervé Hervé, his bouts of drinking more violent, his sons and daughters less inhibited. Jude’s grandmother, medieval in her devotion, had run the house firmly, and without her there was no one to save them from their appetites.

Soon even the youngest of Jude’s aunts and uncles were gone, fled or married. The house became dirty. Clothes went unmended. While Jude and Hervé Hervé worked, Isa-Marie studied or read or clipped up discarded church magazines and taped the holy images to her wall: missionary priests, saintly house pets, jungle savages who’d joined the clergy, the scars of piercings still visible on their round, beatific faces. From time to time two married aunts came by, gossiped in the kitchen, cleaned and left bowls of fried eggs, bacon and potato that Jude and Hervé Hervé ate cold for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That spring another aunt moved in with her four children after her husband wrecked his rig on the north coast and was crushed by logs. The house became almost normal, hot meals, scents of baking, diversity of tastes. Even Isa-Marie ventured from her room to help, Jude hulking along at her side, learning to pin diapers and powder bottoms. In those years he became kinder, made an effort to piece letters together at school, eyes bobbing in his head as he tried to figure out where to put his hands on the book. He learned to write his name, and under Isa-Marie’s supervision, wrote it often. In summer there were flowers on the table, berries picked and made into pies. During a February
blizzard Isa-Marie gave out Valentines, each a paper heart glued with clippings of bleeding Jesuses, praying Virgins and women’s pumps from the Eaton’s catalogue. But Hervé Hervé’s drinking increased. By autumn the aunt had moved out with her children. The other two resumed their visits: fried papery eggs, carbonized bacon. They smoked in the kitchen and told stories: fathers in drunken threesomes with teenaged daughters, a pregnant woman who accidentally swallowed bleach and gave birth to an albino.

Isa-Marie returned to the silence of her room. Flowers dried on the table, stems rotting in brackish water. Jude watched his aunts from the doorway. He recalled the wild, innocent laughter of children. Before that, what? An old woman with a jaw like a log splitter, the way she’d held his collar as she scrubbed at his face. His only memory of maternal love.

Shortly after Jude turned fifteen, Hervé Hervé started taking him to travelling fairs, pitting him against grown men on sawdust stages after the shows had closed. Locals who recalled the towering, wide-jawed Scots-American tourist believed Jude was a fine fusion. Even as a toddler, he couldn’t be knocked down, simply rebounding like an inflatable doll with weighted feet. Hervé Hervé had trained him well. He bet heavily, treated Jude’s cuts with whisky, swigged and counselled in technique, to work the lower ribs and solar plexus. Jude’s only hint of softness was full, feathery lashes he’d inherited from his
mother, out of place on his red fighter’s face though he was never mocked. He already weighed two hundred and twenty pounds.

Though Jude did his grandfather’s bidding, fought well and never lost, his greatest love remained his sister. Ever since he’d been a toddler, he’d watched over her. If she was teased or berated, he was immediately there, strutting and bobbing, his punch-drunk face bleary with that unblinking, walleyed look. Only his aunts’ talk of her frailty alarmed him, the way they clucked their tongues when she left the room. She often had colds and fevers, and she’d remained small, a pale girl with green doe eyes and tentative gestures. In church she prayed with her shoulders pulled forward so that she looked to be hugging herself, and often she sat in the sun, appearing asleep, or else she put her blankets on the floor, in the warm light beneath her window. The aunts commented that it was in her blood, that unlike Jude she’d inherited from her tourist father a southern predisposition. She wouldn’t make it here, they said. There was a country for everything.

One afternoon, through the dark boxed rooms of the house, Jude overheard his aunts discussing the days when children were given away. They recalled how a man with too many mouths to feed might hand one off to a neighbour with a barren wife. Families who needed a girl in the kitchen or a boy to learn a craft would go to another suffering from abundance. Sometimes there were loans, agreements that the child would return when his oldest siblings moved out. Or there were flat-out trades for a
garden cart or a saw. The aunts recalled those that Hervé Hervé had given away, a Jean-Felix, a Marie-Ange. It had once been a common enough practice in the peninsula, somewhat outdated when Hervé Hervé, ashamed of the runts, had taken it up. The aunts laughed. He’d bought men drinks and lied about ages, saying a six-year-old was four. Everyone had known that he gave away lemons.

Gradually, fear took control of Jude’s simple mind, and he became certain that while he was working the fields or gutting fish, his grandfather would hand Isa-Marie off like a bag of potatoes. Though their long hours of labour were conducted in silence, at times, when Hervé Hervé drank, he spoke a little and Jude listened as best he could. Hervé Hervé mumbled about
Les États
, about sons who’d left with the thousands of others seeking a better life and the daughters who’d been stolen by tourists.
Même ta mère
, he told Jude. He spat and cursed the foreigners who took everything, the fish from the St. Lawrence, the village girls. Jude had heard some talk about tourists, that to keep them coming, shops had hired women to wear old bonnets and dresses, and to bring looms or spinning wheels down from their attics and set them into motion. Men were even employed to cure cod in public displays as it had been done for centuries. But Jude never considered that the silly, rich tourists could constitute another threat to Isa-Marie, that one might stop and toss her in the trunk of his car like a flat tire.

Now, as he worked, he considered the strangeness of the years, how he’d once been with her often, walking
her to school or to church with their grandmother. He’d carried Isa-Marie on his shoulders, or clumped along behind her. But then he’d quit school to work. He’d stopped going to church, and she’d continued. With his grandfather, in the boat, on the slow rise and fall of swells, or cleaning fish, his scale-encrusted shirt like armour, he wondered where she was, what she did alone. When he saw her, they no longer touched. Evenings he sat at her bedside and gazed at her with his dumb, broken features, and she at him with her delicate pretty face. They had little games. She brushed her hair behind her ear, shrugged and smiled so that it fell forward again, ducked her head and brushed it back. He watched, and after sitting awhile, shifty with unspent energy, made a passable smile. He looked at his red hands curved halfway to fists, the veins between the knuckles, the nails the shape and colour of the tabs on soda cans. He often noticed her fingers on the Bible. Outside wind shook the leaves. Clothes moved in pantomime on the line. She watched him. He believed she was destined for something great.

That year, Isa-Marie was becoming a woman at last. She didn’t have the rearing, dishevelled sex-appeal, the galloping bosoms of other girls, but frailty and lack of appetite gave her a slight, fragile beauty. Her shy manner, the way she peeked at the world past sweeping hair, incited in men a desire to embrace her gently, as if she were a childhood teddy, and simultaneously to ply the
plush, stretch her limbs, toss her stuffings into the air. By becoming a woman she sanctioned the pedophile in sailor and school superintendent alike.

But that she ever knew the touch of a man, there was little possibility. Jude would have cuffed the curé for looking sidelong, and if the curé never did, it was because Jude made impossible all sins except those cherished in her heart. Among the village youths, the few who’d dared mock her or who, sitting behind her in class, had dipped the sun-blond ends of her hair in the ink pot, had received a slight shy gaze and soon after a roadside walloping that left bruises the size of horseshoes. But those months that her pale beauty became apparent, any man who so much as tried to speak with her was at risk, and once, when a tourist stopped his car for directions, Jude pelted it with firewood. Even the few girls Isa-Marie had as friends stayed away, afraid of Jude, who, like some mythical being, watched over her constantly. Often he came upon her as she sat alone, face to the fleeting sunshine, and then she’d hear him and jump. Cold made the skin around her eyes swell as if she’d been crying. She looked at the ground when he was near. She kept to herself or lingered after Mass. At home she made a crèche, though the curé told her that the baby Jesus did not have stigmata and a crown of thorns, that the animals in the manger didn’t need halos.

The dry summer had passed, lilac and fireweed and the few wild roses withering in the headlands beyond the fields. Jude watched, drab clothes ghosted against dirt, an animal poised. On an October morning, as he went to
cut kindling by the water pump, one of Isa-Marie’s schoolmates was waiting on the road to Mass. The boy had rim glasses like those of the monseigneur and had once been praised by the schoolteacher for composing a sonnet on the life of St. Francis. He was holding a roll of paper bound in silk ribbon, which he extended when Isa-Marie stopped before him. He’d just begun to speak as Jude came down the hill through the trees with the thrashing of a bull elk. Without pause or warning, Jude leapt the embankment and carried the boy to the outhouse, where he kicked back the board and shoved his head into the rudiments and slime.

That evening, a brief, cold rain fell, and in sunset’s last silvery light, small pools shone as if the flat rocks of the coast had been strewn with mirrors. Isa-Marie had turned back on the road and skipped Mass. She’d gone home and into her room and hadn’t so much as glanced at Jude when he came in to mug about. She lay in her bed, turned away. He sat and shrugged and cracked his swollen knuckles, his glazed, red face blinking widely, often, as if to communicate feeling. Finally, he went outside and stood in the windy dark. The tide scraped the coast, and between a few isolated clouds a comet sketched a slow, bright flare. He stayed there until dawn lit the gradual contours of the eastern mountains.

Isa didn’t leave her bed the next day. At first no one noticed that she hadn’t gone to school, but when, two days later, she remained curled in her blankets, the aunts began to murmur. Jude felt Hervé Hervé watching him. Winter was coming on hard, and Isa-Marie had always
found the cold difficult. Dawns, when ice flowers sprouted from the stomped and rutted mud of the road, Jude returned inside and went into her room. She wouldn’t look at him. She lay on the bed, breathing shallowly, turned to the window. What sunlight filtered through the dirty glass made her skin appear translucent, bluish veins in her temples and throat.

Now, as he did his chores, for the first time he dimly sensed all that he didn’t understand. Because of his and Isa-Marie’s silence or because she’d been born in his arms and their hearts had beat together so long, he’d assumed to know her mind. But perhaps she’d been in love, the moments before he came crashing onto the road the happiest of her life. He worked in a frenzy, feeding animals and mucking the barn, heaps of manure steaming in the pasture. A dry, crystalline snow fell and puffed about his feet. He gazed up at her window. He tried to understand her heart, to know what would make her better. He closed his eyes and saw sunshine. He saw the cup of the world spreading like a flower with dawn, wide and brilliant beneath the sun, then wilting into a fragrant dark.

The tourists were fleeing winter, their long cars passing along the road in convoys. Days shortened, the sky a cramped, closed space, low and grey, and in the gradual darkness the coast became a rim of ash. Only a few lingered with cameras and tripods, parking in the weeds and hiking onto rises to click shots of the sea, the turning
leaves, the rough, exposed shape of the land. Jude watched them, these often thin, dapper men who wore their pants tight at the waist like skirts, and others, longhaired, sporting dainty glasses with coloured lenses. They ventured into his field, stumbling on the furrows, watching the swift, automatic motion of his digging as he brought up potatoes from cold, clean dirt. He considered them violently, twisting the shovel deeper.

Though it was hardly possible not to overhear stories of the U.S., Jude had never seen any point in joining the speculation. Talk of fine pay and cheap, easy living meant nothing to him. Maybe, for some, the stony earth and brief summers were not enough, but he’d wanted little else. Only now, for the first time, he wondered who the tourists were, where they came from, what they knew. His father had been one, and his mother had gone south, and so perhaps, he considered, they were his people, too.

When he returned to the house, the aunts had just arrived, quiet now. Isa-Marie’s soft, persistent coughing came from upstairs. She’d always been sensitive to the chill—
frileuse
, the aunts had called her,
la frileuse
. She hadn’t left her bed or eaten in days. Afraid to wake her, he listened from outside her room. The few times he’d gone in just to hear her breathe he’d stepped softly, opened or closed the door as quietly as he’d been able. Hearing her cough, he felt as if he was struggling against something invisible, suffocating and blinding, like a blanket over his face. He wanted to know what he could do, who to fight.

From the unlit hallway he listened to his aunts.

C’est triste
. But she would never have married. It was only a matter of time.

Oui
, it’s sad. She should have gone to the convent.