Vanquished (3 page)

“Right. I'm sorry.” He shakes his head.

“No, that's OK.” I don't feel so stupid and nervous today. “I didn't get your name yesterday. If I'm going to be here so often, I would like to know everyone's name.” I can't help it; it's my natural tendency to take control.

He grins. “I'm Fischer.” He doesn't hold out his hand like the doctors did yesterday. Relief trickles through me, but so does a hint of disappointment.

“Nice to meet you. Officially.” I stop and glance at the clunky machine on the desk. “What do you do with that thing?”

His eyebrows shoot up. “The computer? You've never used one?”

I shake my head.

He smiles again, and I suddenly wish I had fixed my hair instead of pulling it into a tight ponytail with half of it hanging out.

I immediately wince at the thought. I'm not one of those girls. I don't obsess about my looks, even though I try to look my best. Keegan's never made me feel anything but pretty, and I've always been confident in that. I take no extra pride in my hair or my body. Of course, my body isn't much different than anyone else's. I'm thin. Everyone is. The Greaters are supposedly always looking out for our health, and so we only get enough food allowance to keep us healthy. Back in the Early Days some people had a disease called obesity. The Greaters eliminated that disease. Too bad they can't do the same for the mutation.

Fischer doesn't seem to notice my discomfort. He pats the computer. “I'll show it to you one day when I don't have about a million other things to do.”

“That would be great,” I say with a smile.

“It's a deal then.” He nods and goes back to his work.

I go on to Mom's room. She's awake and sitting up in bed today, and the lights are on. Relief surges through me because she looks good. Her hair is brushed smooth, and she's sipping a glass of dark liquid.

“Hi Hana,” she says. “I heard I missed you yesterday.”

I give her a light hug. I'm afraid to hug too tightly. “I stayed for a while, but I had to get home before dark.”

She nods. “Of course. How's home?”

“It's fine. I've been cooking while you've been gone. At first Dad acted scared to try my fried squash, but he doesn't seem to mind now.”

She laughs softly. “What about school?”

“Fine. Everyone's ready for the year to be out.”

“Have you been doing the laundry?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Mom.”

We talk for a while, and I hope she'll bring up her treatment. She doesn't. I want to know if they've mentioned the chemo, and then I can't wait anymore. “Mom, what are they going to do to help you?” My insides twist as I wait for her answer.
Please say chemotherapy
.

“They've been feeding me lots of strawberries and blueberries. Broccoli and tomatoes, too.”

That ball is back in my throat. I swallow hard. “Is that it?”

“Well, besides the herbal tea of course.” She nods toward the glass she's drinking from. “It's disgusting.”

I laugh at her facial expression. Mom never has liked tea. I got that from her, I guess. I glance toward the door to make sure no one is walking in, then I lean close. “They haven't said anything about medicines? I mean
real
medicines?”

My mom frowns and leans toward me. “What do you mean?”

“You know, like chemo drugs or something.”

She chuckles and leans back. “I wish. Someday we may get back to that success level as a society, but we aren't there yet.”

That's what you think
, I want to say. But then another thought hits me. Maybe she's keeping it a secret, just like Dr. Bentford said she would have to.

That has to be it. My mom served in our small country's military—what she was protecting us from I don't know—and she is great at all things soldierish, including secret keeping. The thought gives me a sliver of hope, and I sit back and enjoy the rest of my visit.

 

 

 

 

4

 

“Are you sure you don't want me to come to the hospital with you?” Jamie asks the next day after school. “I really don't mind.”

I shake my head. I don't know how to describe it to her, but I want all of Mom's time to myself. I miss her being at home with me, and I want to be the center of her attention when I actually get to be with her. It's only been a few days since she was put in the hospital, but it feels like forever without her at home.

Jamie bites her lip. “If you're sure.”

I wonder what she's going to do if she doesn't come to the hospital. Easton's face pops in my mind and I cringe, wondering if she'll be meeting him instead.

The door to my house bangs open and Dad sprints across the threadbare yard. For some reason, grass has never grown well there, and not being able to grow something has been a thorn in his side for years. “Hana! I forgot to give this to you. I picked it up at the post office today.”

I don't want to let myself hope, but I glance down at the letter.
Keegan!

“Thanks, Dad.” I smile at him, trying to seem like it's no big deal, but I can tell I'm not pulling it off.

He nods and waves, then goes back inside. He knows I'm heading to the hospital. We take turns visiting at night, but mostly he goes during the daytime, on his lunch break.

Jamie watches me expectantly.

I hold up the letter for her to see.

She looks at the name on the envelope and smiles. “See?”

I smile back and shrug. “I know.”

“Tell me what it says after you read it.”

“I will.” I head toward the side walk. The letter burns a hole in my pocket as I walk the blocks to the hospital. I could read it in a hurry before I go up to Mom's room, but I want to savor it. I'll wait until I get home.

A handful of people congregate in the lobby of the hospital today. I might have been surprised, but I know they're here for Markus Huckleberry. His twin sister told everyone at school today that he'd fallen out of a tree last night and got a concussion.

She spots me and jogs over. “What are you doing here, Hana?”

“Hey, Ava. I'm visiting my mom. How's Markus?”

Ava pauses like she isn't sure what to say. “He's OK, I guess. We haven't got to see him yet. I forgot about your mom. I'm sorry.”

I shrug. “It's OK. I'll see you around, OK?” Ava's nice. She and Markus are a grade behind me in school, but when we've been together in the past, they've always been great. Her family has a lot of money because they own more than one business in our city, but she doesn't act like there's any difference between her and the poorest Middles. My dad says that Ava's dad used to be Greater, but when he took his Test at seventeen, he scored as a Middle. Still, I guess everything he learned in Greater City stuck, because he's very successful here.

What she said sticks in my mind, though. They haven't got to see him? If he was brought in last night then why wouldn't they be able to see him this afternoon?

Fischer isn't at his desk today, and as usual, the hall is deserted. A short stack of folders sits on the desk beside the computer. I'm not looking on purpose, but I spot Mom's name on an open folder. I saw the doctors writing in her file that first day. What did they say in there? I can't help it, I have to know. I glance around to make sure I'm still alone, and with a pounding pulse I flip open the file.

Chemotherapy drugs: requested.

Tears burn my eyes so fast I'm embarrassed. They did it! They're going to give Mom chemotherapy. It feels strange to be happy about poison. I've even heard some people argue against redeveloping the chemo drugs, saying they're harmful. Those people have obviously never had a mom with the mutation.

Hot tears run down my cheeks and I swipe them away. Now my eyes are going to be puffy and Mom is going to ask me what's wrong. I hate it when people see me cry.

Then another thought hits me. It's Fischer's job to go through the folders. I saw him doing something with them yesterday, when he was messing with the computer.

So he knows about chemo drugs. What else does he know about? Markus Huckleberry?

I suddenly want to get to know Fischer better. I want to know what he knows. I want to know as soon as the chemo drugs are approved.

Fischer walks down the hall, back toward his desk. He smiles when he spots me.

“Hi Hana. How are you today?”

I shrug. “I'm OK.” I hope it's not obvious I was crying, and I glance at the stack of folders to make sure my spying isn't noticeable.

His eyes show concern. I guess it
is
obvious I was crying. “Anything I can do to help?”

Yes!
I want to shout. Instead, I shake my head. “No, but, if I needed you, um, later, could I talk to you then?”

“Absolutely. Just let me know, OK?”

“Sure. Thank you, Fischer.”

He smiles now. “You're welcome.”

I'm about to turn away, but I pause. “You're not from our city are you?” I'm not sure why I ask. Maybe because he acts so nice, or maybe because I'm trying to get to know him.

His smile stretches a little further across his face. “How did you know?”

I'm too embarrassed to admit I think he's nice. “You talk funny.”

“I'm from a city further south. It used to be called Paducah, Kentucky.”

My geography lessons from school flash through my mind, and I know that Paducah isn't that far from our own city. Of course, most cities aren't that far from our city. Our civilization only covers a small area. Back in the Early Days, the environment kept getting more volatile. Hurricanes, tornadoes, and earthquakes happened constantly, and coast lines and states were wiped out. Once the country was so weak, enemies from across the oceans attacked. Entire generations were lost, and the survivors moved as far inland as they could. They formed what is now our country about two hundred years ago.

“Are you here for your training?” I ask. It's a stupid question, since the answer is obvious. Our city houses the training facilities for medical, agriculture, and military.

He nods. “Yep, third year medic. Have you taken your Test yet?”

I shake my head. “I graduate in three weeks.”

“You'll do great, I'm sure. Do you know what occupation you hope to get?”

“I want to work in government,” I say. I don't know why I tell him, considering the reaction I got in school the other day. Maybe because I can tell he won't laugh at me.

I'm right.

“That's great. Is there a particular reason?”

“I want to help the Lessers. It feels like we should be able to do more for them. There has to be a better way for them to live.” I remember the mental picture I've carried of the skeletal boy from Mom's story.

He stares at me so long I start to get nervous. His eyes aren't confused or judgmental like Lilith's were. They almost seem—awed. Finally, he smiles. “Don't worry. Like I said, I'm sure you'll do great.”

He gets to work, and I go to Mom's room.

After I'm in her room—she's sleeping again—I realize that Fischer made me forget all about Keegan's letter.

After an hour I'm fighting my own sleepiness, but I can't bring myself to leave. I want to talk to Mom so bad I consider just waking her up. A knock raps at the door, and Dr. Lane comes in.

“Hi Hana. How are you?”

“I'm fine. A little bored, but fine.”

She smiles. “Patients with the mutation do sleep a lot, especially your mom's type. The mutation is in the blood, and it makes her more tired than you can imagine.”

I like Dr. Lane, especially since she was the one who wanted to give Mom chemo drugs, but mostly because she seems genuinely interested in me. I almost want to ask her about the chemo, but I keep my mouth shut. She might be upset if she found out I had heard her, and after that she might not be so open and kind.

I stay too late hoping Mom will wake up, but she doesn't. Twilight has set in by the time I'm outside. My legs burn because I walk so fast. Only a few people dot the streets and most of them seem to be in front of their own homes. What will happen if I get caught after dark? Curfew is strictly enforced. I've never cut it so close, and my heart beats faster with each step.

The sun disappears behind the horizon just as I turn onto my street. I'm practically jogging by now. When I make it to my house I push through my front door and slam it behind me.

“What kept you so late?” Dad asks, looking up. He had been bent over his work, and I doubt he even realizes I broke the city curfew.

“Mom was sleeping, and I tried to wait for her to wake up.” I don't mention I was there for hours—he already knows it.

He nods nonchalantly, but I can tell he's trying not to cry. He misses Mom, and he's scared like I am. Scared she might not live. Scared of what that will mean for all of us.

I stand at the steps going upstairs to my room, unsure if I should hug him or ask what he thinks will happen to Mom. We love each other, but we don't have the open relationship Mom and I have. “I'll start on supper in a minute, OK?” Keegan's letter is begging to be read.

He waves me off. “I'm working on lessons for tomorrow. Take your time.”

I take the stairs two at a time to my room and rip open the letter. I drink in his handwriting like cold water on a hot day.

Dear Hana, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write back. I'm sorry about your mom. It really, really isn't fair. We can talk about it soon, because I'll be home on break in a couple of weeks.

You wouldn't believe this city! It's twice the size of ours, and there are Greaters swarming the place, even though it's a Middle city. Working in the entertainment industry is very awesome. I've met two singers and a handful of actors. Some of them even guest lecture at my school. I can't believe it's already been a year since my Test, and I can't wait until you pass yours. I know you'll get government, Hana. Then we'll be together again. I have so much to tell you when I get home. I can't wait to see you. Until then, Keegan.