Vegas Heat (20 page)

“That’s the right attitude, Sunny,” Ash said, reaching for her hand.

“Dad had his tests, too. Unfortunately, his won’t be back for another week. Iris is calling us, which means it’s time to eat. Eat fast, Dad, I want to get home to see the kids.”

“I can drive you home, Sunny. Your dad looks tired,” Fanny said.

“No, no, that’s okay. I can wait. Maybe you should shower and take a nap before we leave. It might be a good idea for me to do the same thing. Thanks for offering, Mom,” Sunny said as an afterthought.

Fanny wanted to cry. She would have if Sage hadn’t squeezed her arm. “Sunny’s right, it is what it is. Just let it be.”

Fanny drew a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Sage, hold on a minute,” Birch said as he struggled out of his chair. “If you have a minute, I’d like to talk to you.” Fanny lingered inside the doorway as Sage walked back to his brother.

“I have as many minutes as you need. What’s up?”

“I never thanked you for saving my life. I want to do that now.”

“You would have done the same thing.”

“Yeah, but you need to say things like that out loud. It kind of cements it if you know what I mean. Jesus, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you and Iris found each other. We’ve had some differences the past few years, but my feelings for you never changed.”

“I know that, Birch. All of a sudden we found out we were allowed to think and plan separately. We bought into that myth that twins are supposed to think alike for too long. Spit it out right now. Ah, hell, I know exactly what you’re going to say. When you recover you’re taking off for the wilds of somewhere, probably to hunt big game or some such shit.”

“Close. You okay with that? Can you handle things alone?”

“You know better than to ask. I want whatever is best for you. If it takes you ten years to get your shit together in one sock, so be it. Don’t go thinking you’re
that
important.”

Fanny moved on into the dining room the moment she knew Sage put his arm around his brother’s shoulders. All was right in her sons’ world.

The luncheon festivities broke up at three o’clock. Fanny and Ash said their good-byes and headed for the door. “I’ll pick you up at seven, Sunny.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Sunny, I’m proud of you. If you need me or if there’s anything . . .”

“Sure, Mom. I’ll call,” Sunny said interrupting her. “I have to go and do my share of cleaning up, or Billie will do it for me. Drive carefully.”

Hot tears pricked at Fanny’s eyelids. “I think,” Fanny said, “that was one of the neatest brush-offs I’ve ever gotten. She’s better than you ever were, Ash.”

“Listen, Fanny, I know you’re in a hurry to get back to the ranch, but I’d like to ask a favor. Would you mind sticking around for a few hours? Let me get a couple of hours’ sleep and a shower. I need to talk to you about something. I wouldn’t ask, but it’s very important. I’m dead on my ass. I’d say feet but my feet don’t work these days. What do you say?”

“All right, Ash. I’ll go shopping. Six o’clock, no later. I don’t like driving at night.”

“Stay till morning.”

“No. I’m packed and ready to go. I want to be around my own things, in my own house. That’s where my life is. Drop me off here on the corner. Is there anything I can get for you?”

“Not a thing. I’ll see you at six o’clock.” Fanny nodded.

Instead of going shopping, Fanny stopped at the first drugstore she came to and called Simon. When the machine came on, she left her name and said she’d call back later. She meandered through the drugstore looking at the array of cosmetics. She stifled a laugh when she recalled how Bess had snitched almost all of her cosmetics from her father’s drugstore. It was strange how she remembered things from the past, pleasant things. Memories. So many of them. In the end, she settled for a paperback novel about murder and mayhem and went to the park to read it.

By the end of chapter two she’d figured out the murderer so she tossed the book into the trash barrel next to the bench. She concentrated on watching a group of plump pigeons squabble over a child’s spilled popcorn. She sat for a very long time staring off into space. When a toddler’s ball rolled against her shoe, she kicked it toward the little boy, who squealed his pleasure. She thought about her grandson, Jake. She wondered if he had a bright red ball. Sunny was partial to yellow and blue. She should know what color his ball was. She’d never heard him call her grandma. Her eyes started to burn. Guilty! Guilty! Guilty of being a lousy grandmother. She sat bolt upright on the wooden bench. What if Tyler tried to take the children from Sunny because of her condition? “Over my dead body,” she seethed. She was certain it would happen unless he signed away his parental rights.
Don’t think about that, Fanny. If it happens, you’ll deal with it then. All the worrying in the world won’t change things if they’re meant to happen.

Fanny looked at her watch. Time to head back to Babylon. In the lobby she stopped at the florist and bought two dozen yellow roses with assorted greenery. When she paid for them, she realized how stupid it was. Ash was going to the mountain and she was leaving. Who would enjoy the flowers? She was doing a lot of stupid things of late.

Ash was waiting for her, his hair still damp from the shower. She handed him the flowers. He sniffed them and smiled. “I don’t think anyone ever gave me flowers before. Thanks, Fanny.”

“What do you want to talk about, Ash?”

“Everything in the world. Fanny, look at me. Tell me what you see, and be honest.”

“I see a tired, weary, bitter man.”

“You’re right. I’m also a man who’s lost his edge. I can’t do this anymore. I need to get out while I can still wheel my chair. I got the results from my tests yesterday. I didn’t tell Sunny because she has enough on her plate right now. The doctors were kind, but truthful. I have two years, Fanny, three if I’m lucky. One of the more outspoken doctors said a year. I guess it’s a crapshoot. There’s nothing they can do for me, just like there’s nothing they can do for Sunny. I bawled, Fanny. I just sat there and I goddamn bawled my head off. Some cockamamie part of me really believed I could live forever.”

Fanny blinked. She felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to the middle of her stomach. “Ash, there are other doctors. They make new discoveries every day in the medical field. You can’t give up. A positive attitude is half the battle.”

“Fanny, I had the best of the best. Tests don’t lie. To show you what a bastard I am, I made them run those tests three times because I refused to believe the results. My liver is almost gone, and so are my kidneys. I’m over the worst of the shock now so I can think clearly. Birch is leaving. I think we both knew that was going to happen. He hates this business just the way Sage hates it. Sunny loves it. Go figure.”

“Ash, what are you trying to say?” Fanny felt naked with fear.

“I want to move to the mountain and leave this behind me. I want to know I’m leaving it in good hands—
your hands
. It’s the only solution, Fanny. Sunny needs me. The truth is, I need her just as much. If you stop and think about the whole picture, it makes sense. You and Simon can handle this casino. Billie and Sage can handle your clothing business. You don’t work at it anymore anyway.”

“No, Ash, no, no, no. I hate this town. I hate this business.”

“You hate it because of me. Be fair.”

“Sell it, bank the money.”

“Fanny, it’s a gold mine. Only a fool would sell a gold mine.”

“Hire people to run it. No, Ash, I can’t do it. How can you ask me to give up my life? Simon hates this business, too. NO! Besides, he would never agree.”

“It’s for the family, Fanny. I’m going to die. You aren’t doing it for me. Sunny is going to be incapacitated sooner than you think. You know what, it was her idea to ask you. She said . . . never mind. It’s not important what she said.”

“What did she say, Ash?”

“She said exactly what you just said. She said you would never give up your new life for any of us. She told me to ask you what Jake’s middle name is? What is it, Fanny?”

“It’s . . . it’s . . . damn you, Ash, that child’s middle name has nothing to do with this.”

“It has everything to do with it, Fanny. How old was Jake when he started to walk? How old was he when he cut his first tooth? When did he get his first black eye? How come, bastard that I am, I know those things and you don’t? Just for the record, those were questions Sunny asked first. I’m waiting for your answers, Fanny.”

“I’m not going to let you throw a guilt trip on me, Ash.”

“This is family, Fanny. When it’s family, you pick up the slack. Isn’t that what you always said? Where’s all that family bullshit you doled out like cod liver oil? It
was
bullshit, wasn’t it? Family is important when it’s convenient for you. You got what you want so fuck the rest of us, right?”

“No, that’s not right.”

“Sure it is. Jesus Christ, we couldn’t even find you for four days when Birch had his accident. You were off thinking. Thinking about this family and what was wrong with it. What the hell happened to motherhood, apple pie, and all that good stuff you used to jam down our throats?”

“I’m never going to forgive you for this, Ash.”

“Like I give a good rat’s ass about your forgiveness. When you’re looking at what I’m looking at, it hardly seems important. Your blissful life doesn’t seem too important to me either. Yeah, I have bushel baskets full of regrets. This is my one chance; hell, it’s my only chance to make things right. I’m looking it right in the face, Fanny, and I’m not denying any of my misdeeds. My mother came to this state and made it what it is today. Babylon was built for my mother and father. It was my living monument to them. It’s staying in this family, one way or the other. What that means to you is it’s an either or answer.”

“What’s the or?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes. I want to know.”

Ash’s voice was so low she had to strain to hear the words. “Sunny said she’d give the kids up to Tyler and come back here and run the casino. Before you jump down my throat, I told her it was out of the question. She would do it to show you up, Fanny. You committed the cardinal sin. You fucked with her kids. You know, Fanny, it’s that motherhood thing. Lioness protecting her cubs. You should recognize the drill.”

“I’d never have given up my children. Not under any circumstances. I would have cleaned toilets in dirty gas stations before I did that. Don’t threaten me, Ash. No daughter of mine would do such a thing. Sunny loves those children. She’s a wonderful mother.”

“How would you know? Cut the bullshit, Fanny, this is me you’re talking to. Yeah, Sunny loves the kids, but guess what. Tyler loves them, too, and he’s going to fight for them at some point in time. Sunny is going to fight for what she wants just the way you’re fighting for that wonderful new life you have. Surely you understand where she’s coming from. That girl is never going to forgive you, Fanny, for not being there for her children. I know that hurts you right down to your soul. I see it in your face. Jesus Christ, Fanny, I didn’t want to tell you that. You left me no choice. You’re the last to know. You probably think I’m lying. Check it out, talk to the kids, with Bess, they’ll tell you. Just don’t tell Sunny I told you. The fact that you think I’m lying is pretty goddamn sad if you want my opinion.

“Fanny, I want you to know something. In my own way I loved you as much as I was capable of loving anyone. I’m sorry for what I put you through, sorry I couldn’t love you the way you wanted to be loved. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better husband and father. I guess when it comes right down to it, I’m sorry about everything.”

“Ash, what’s Jake’s middle name?” Fanny whispered.

“Matthew. At first she was going to name him after Birch or Sage but changed her mind at the church. She didn’t want to show favoritism. He walked when he was ten months. He cut his first tooth at seven months. He crawled backwards for a little while. Sunny was really concerned about that, but the doctor said it was okay. He’s allergic to penicillin and he has this monster strawberry birthmark on his rump. He gave up his bottle at eleven months, said his first word at a year. He called me Pop Pop the day he turned one. I got such a kick out of that. He knows who you are because Sunny showed him pictures of you and talks about you to him. You should have seen his last birthday party, Fanny. We laughed ourselves silly over that kid. He has friends on the mountain. Chue’s grandkids come over to play all the time. You wouldn’t believe Christmas. I honest to God had fun.”

“Ash, don’t tell me any more.”

“Why, Fanny? Aren’t you the one who always said look it in the face and go on from there? Time’s up, I gotta pick up Sunny. Stay as long as you like or leave if that’s what you want to do.”

“Aren’t you coming back?”

“Nope.”

“Ash, you can’t do this!”

“Watch me.”

“Simon won’t agree to this. I don’t know how to run this casino. I’m not saying I’m not going to do it . . . Ash, come back here.”

“I bet you could turn this place into something spectacular without even trying. Just look what those flowers do for the table.”

Fanny ran after the wheelchair. She dropped to her knees. “Ash, would she give those babies of hers up?”

Tears blurred Ash’s eyes. “I’d try to stop her, Fanny. I don’t know what she’ll do after I’m gone.”

“I hate your guts, Ash Thornton,” Fanny screamed.

“I used to hate yours. I don’t anymore. See you around, Fanny.”

Fanny beat at the thick carpeting with her clenched fists until her hands were numb. Sobbing, she crawled on her hands and knees to the coffee table. She reached for the vase of roses and threw it at the double teakwood doors. “Do you hear me, Ash Thornton, I hate you? I hate you for doing this to me. All you do is take and take and take.”

Exhausted, Fanny crawled up onto the deep sofa. She needed to call Simon. No, she needed to call Bess to verify Ash’s cruel words. She dialed her friend’s number and spoke haltingly. “Bess, I’m going to ask you a question. If you know the answer just say yes or no. When I hear your answer, I’m going to hang up. No, I’m not all right. I will probably never be all right again. In the scheme of things I don’t suppose it matters very much. Did Sunny tell you and my children that she would never forgive me ... for not being there for Jake?” Fanny sucked in her breath as she waited for Bess’s response. “Your answer is yes?”