Velvet (36 page)

“Don’t you know?” he asked, leaning back with a dry smile. “I drink the blood of innocent puppies for breakfast. Right after my corn flakes.”

“Nice try.” I turned back to my sewing machine. “I already know you guys only drink people juice.”

“Ah,” he sighed, “the secret’s out.”

Was it weird that I wasn’t hating this conversation? Regardless, I only had another twenty minutes to work on the dress before Adrian had to take me back to Trish’s, so I ignored Julian and examined the edge I was about to sew. Before I could put my foot back to the pedal, I thought I heard him mutter, “Why you?”

I frowned at him. “Why me, what?”

He leaned close, as if inspecting a funny little bug. “Why
you
? There’s nothing special about you. All this fuss,” he murmured. “The Council is in such an uproar over a passing vision about tiny, insignificant Caitlin Holte. You’re not intelligent, you’re not clever, you’re not beautiful. You’re not going to change the world. You’re going to grow up and live a tired little life, and then you’re going to die. That’s what people like you do. That’s what people like you are good for. Filling space.”

His words stung so sharply I couldn’t breathe.

“And yet,” he continued, “the world—for now—revolves around you. A dull, common star in a bright, massive galaxy. You hypnotized my brother. You terrify my sister. And I’m the only one who’s sane enough to wonder
why
.”

My heart hammered up into my throat, a heady mixture of fear and rage, but the rage, as usual, won out. “You’re right,” I whispered finally. “I’m not special. I know that. And I admit I’ve had a rough year. I have not been at my best. I’ve been vindictive and petty and immature and angry, but I still
care
.”

I laughed, suddenly, as I realized that Julian didn’t scare me anymore. Julian didn’t scare me and Mariana didn’t scare me and the Council didn’t scare me, because I was worn out and they were all so blind.

“I love your brother,” I admitted for the first time out loud. “I love him. You deign to exist, Julian. You don’t love anyone or anything, and that makes your life pointless. It’s so sad—and you don’t even know. So wonder away, poison Adrian against me, do your worst. I’ve already lost everything I ever cared about, and I’m still here. I haven’t given up. So fight me, or get the hell out of my face because I’ve got shit to do.”

Julian sat still for a long, long moment. Finally, he stood, looming over me. “Very brave. I will give you that. But my eternity isn’t the one you should be concerned about. Remember—Adrian is going to live forever, too. Think about that. Think about what that means.”

And he walked out of the room.

I sat very still. Outside, the snow fell in the soft afternoon light. It would be dark in an hour. I laid my head on my arms. I felt like crying. I felt tired. I felt confused. A small hand touched my back. I lifted my head and saw Lucian standing there, looking concerned.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

I tried to smile and couldn’t. “I’m crying. Again.”

He tilted his head. “What’s that?”

“It’s something people do when they’re very sad.”

“Why are you sad?”

I managed a weak smile. “I don’t understand your brothers.” But he still looked confused. “You know how you get rid of tears?” I asked. He shook his head. “You find somebody you love and you hug them.”

“Love?”

“Yeah. Somebody you care about.”

He nodded. “Who do you want me to find?”

“I think you’ll do.”

His eyes widened. “You love me?”

“I sure do, kid.”

He thought about it a moment. “I love you, too. I think.”

I smiled a big, watery smile; on the verge of tears again because in the midst of all of this, he was so great.

“You’re still crying,” he pointed out.

I laughed and wiped a few tears off my face. “That’s because you haven’t hugged me yet.”

Lucian immediately wrapped his arms around my neck. A few moments later he leaned back to peer at my face.

“They’re still there,” he whispered.

I smiled. “Sometimes it takes a while for them to stop.”

“Lucian,” I heard Adrian call from the doorway, “leave Caitlin alone.”

Lucian immediately pulled away from me and scampered into the hall.

I glared at Adrian, my emotions on their last frayed rope. “Why did you do that?”

He stared at me impassively, arms crossed over his chest. “I told you we aren’t allowed to love humans. You know that.”

Rage bubbled up through my stomach. “He’s a kid, Adrian.”

“He’s one of us.”

“Since when are you ‘one of them’?”

He smiled, but it was cruel. “Since the day I was born.”

I was so angry I couldn’t speak for a moment. “Funny. I thought I heard you say that you weren’t anything like them. My mistake.”

His face tightened. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything!” I cried, eyes brimming with frustrated tears. “The sewing machine, the studio, your protection, I never asked for
any
of it. I didn’t ask you to save me, you just
did
. You did that on your own. You made me love”—I caught myself just in time—“Lucian. You made me love Lucian.” My voice faltered. “How could I not love him?”

He stared at me. I concentrated on keeping my voice level.

“I don’t know what you feel. I can’t. And I don’t understand what you’re doing. Why things are different than they were before. But I will not sit here and let you forbid me from loving anybody. You’re a vampire, not a god.” I stood up. “Now either get out or I’m calling my uncle to tell him that you’re scaring me.”

He closed his eyes but didn’t move. I’d never been this angry at him before. Actually, I’d never been
angry
at him before. Not really.

“Adrian, I swear to God I will call Joe if you don’t leave right now.”

He turned around and walked out the door, closing it quietly.

I stared at it for a moment, then sank to the floor and sobbed.

18

CINDERELLA MOMENT

I hated this part.

It wasn’t so much the act of primping, it was the waiting; the time it took to get ready. I was wrapped in an old bathrobe feeling awkward and hot in the cramped bathroom. Norah was painting my toes, which were separated by those uncomfortable pink foam things, and Rachel was pinning my curled hair into an elaborate
Pride and Prejudice
–esque updo with an armada of black bobby pins. My makeup was done (courtesy of Rachel), my dress was hanging in my room along with the stilettos (which were getting their money’s worth of use this year), and I’d already vigorously brushed my teeth—twice.

I was beyond amazed that Joe and Rachel were letting Adrian pick me up for the dance. It had been almost a month since the Incident in the Bedroom, and they seemed to have cooled off somewhat. Maybe the fact that I hadn’t argued about being grounded swayed them in my favor. I’d brought the dance up to Rachel, Rachel and Joe had discussed it, and they’d decided I was allowed to go—although I still wasn’t allowed to have Adrian over for anything but homework sessions. The past few days I’d barely seen Adrian at all when I went over to use the studio. The fight had been pretty bad.

“Stop fidgeting,” Norah warned from her place on the floor. My foot was propped up on her knee and she had the concentration of a surgeon as she applied the pale gold gloss. Five minutes later, she was done. Ten minutes later, Rachel finished, my nails were dry, and I was running out of time. I ran into my bedroom, threw off my robe, and very carefully slid into my dress, trying not to smudge my makeup or catch any of the pins in my hair on the fabric. I slid my shoes on and opened the wardrobe to look at the mirror hanging on the inside of the door.

Rachel was a miracle worker. I don’t know how she did it, but I looked complete down to the last detail. I had on dangly earrings, but with this particular dress, a necklace would have been too much, so I spritzed on some body spray and threw on Rachel’s borrowed wool coat, buttoning it all the way down so only the hem peaked out underneath—there was no way I was letting my aunt and uncle see the back of this dress before I left the house. Or the front, for that matter.

“Adrian’s here!” Norah yelled, her voice muffled by the heavy wood door.

I breathed in and out, suddenly nervous.

It was just a dance. Get it together.

I opened my door and headed carefully down the stairs, concentrating on not breaking my ankle in the shoes. For the first time in a long time, Adrian was smiling that slow, warm smile that always made me happy for a reason I couldn’t quite put into words. I reached him and he took my hand and slipped the corsage on—a grouping of perfectly white snowdrops. It was elegant and lovely and different.

A flash went off and I looked up to see Rachel holding a camera. Norah handed me Adrian’s boutonniere and I put every ounce of concentration into not poking him while I pinned it to his lapel. More flashes. I felt my cheeks burning—if we were at Adrian’s, no one would be taking pictures.

Finally, I had it pinned so that it at least wouldn’t fall off. Norah clapped sarcastically.

“Eleven p.m.,” Joe warned, looking very unhappy and scary as hell. “I’ll be waiting.”

Adrian didn’t say anything, just shook Joe’s hand like a man, nodded at Rachel, and then we were out the door.

“Sorry—” I began saying, and then stopped dead. For a second, I was terrified I was stuck in a nightmare and everything was about to go horribly wrong because what I was seeing shouldn’t be where it was.

Adrian took my arm and walked me to the passenger side of a silver Aston Martin.

“1961,” he explained. “Dominic restores classic cars, remember?”

Holding on to his arm, I folded down into the black leather interior and buckled myself in automatically.

“You own an Aston Martin?” I asked as soon as he got in the car. Car?
Car
didn’t even begin to adequately describe this thing—it was money personified.

“We own three,” he said, and started the engine. It purred as he pulled down the driveway. I sat in dumbfounded silence. They owned three Aston Martins. I didn’t own so much as a skateboard.

“Dominic tours them around at shows, picks up a few prizes, and then sells them off. Some of them stay in our private collection, or get shipped to others of our kind worldwide. He just finished this one, so I borrowed it for the night. Normally we don’t like to flaunt our wealth—it kind of sticks out.”

“No kidding.”

We hit the main road and Adrian switched gears manually, going forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, and then eighty miles an hour. My heart was freaking out—I knew Adrian had driven this road thousands of times, but I’d never seen him go above the speed limit and I didn’t really know what mood he was in.

I glanced over. He looked calm as he twisted through the mountains, around curves and down slopes, but I saw the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

It took eight minutes to reach town. Normally, it took twenty.

Abruptly, he slowed down, switching gears with lightning speed. Ten seconds later I saw a cop parked on the side of the road who stared at the car as we passed—more in awe than anything else.

“How’d you know he was there?”

Adrian just tapped his temple. Ah. Emotion radar. Sweet.

We pulled up to the school and parked. I could see the walkway to the gym lit up with strings of soft white lights. We headed inside, passing a few other couples on the way. The walls were drenched in shadows, making the cinder block all but invisible. In fact, the place was surprisingly well decorated with Chinese lanterns, soft lights, and tea candles. The floor was even covered in a giant gray tarp so you couldn’t see the basketball court lines. I spotted Trish sitting at one of the circular tables and we walked over. I unbuttoned my coat, suddenly nervous, and felt Adrian slip it off my shoulders. When I turned, his face was frozen in an expression of pure shock as he stared at my dress.

I’d decided to go with a deep, luxurious green velvet, to match my eyes. The bodice was fitted to the hips, then flared out softly, ending in a slight train in the back. I’d spent hours hand-sewing various shades of iridescent glass beads to the halter strap in an abstract flower formation.

As for the back, well—there was no back. Between the top of my neck and the base of my spine, there was simply no fabric. This lack of dress was what Adrian had initially been staring at. But now, he was unabashedly staring somewhere else.

“Is that…?” Adrian asked, nodding at my cleavage.

I nodded, blushing. Yes, it was the Green Thing, peeking out from underneath the dress. I’d designed the sweetheart neckline an inch lower than I normally would have so the beaded edge of the corset could show through.

Adrian blinked. And then blinked again. “I’m gonna go … get…” He trailed off, turned abruptly, and walked away.

That was not quite the reaction I’d been hoping for. Trish, however, whistled. “Mission accomplished,” she grinned. “That boy can’t even see straight right now.”

I sat down carefully. “I don’t know,” I muttered. “He didn’t exactly sweep me off my feet.”

“Give it a few minutes,” Trish said. “He probably needs to go adjust some things in the pants department.”

“Trish!”

Before I could scold her more, Ben came and sat next to us, holding two flutes of sparkling cider. “Hey, Caitlin,” he said.

I returned the greeting with a smile. The table was only big enough for three couples, and I saw Jenny and Meghan headed our way with their dates. Jenny picked up the pace subtly, reaching us first. Meghan made an awkward detour and tried to pull it off like she’d intended to go to the neighboring table all along.

“You look gorgeous,” I whispered as Jenny sat down. The deep blue satin caught the light and shimmered, making her look like a mermaid. Her hair was curled elegantly and she’d done her makeup.

“Thank you,” she whispered back. “So do you.”

All around, I could see guys glancing over and doing double takes. They weren’t used to seeing Jenny look hot—heck, they weren’t used to seeing Jenny at all. She had a habit of blending into walls, posts, trees, whatever happened to be behind her. Luke, her date, still looked shocked that he’d invited the weird, pale girl from the junior class and shown up with what looked like her supermodel alter ego.