Vengeance Born (The Light Blade #1) (28 page)

Loving Annika
.

He couldn’t love her. But her compassion, determination, empathy, even her temper attracted him. Her capricious nature and fierceness certainly fired his blood. As did the way she responded to his touch. The memory of her finding release in his arms this morning was vivid. The anticipation he felt as he contemplated their next encounter was something he’d never experienced before.

Attraction? Definitely, but love? He grunted. It was a crazy thought but then how insane had the last week been? When would he have ever agreed to protect someone he’d first thought to be a demon in order to escape a
Na’Reish
dungeon? Or acknowledged the existence of a half-blood
Na’Chi
? Let alone kiss one?

He ran both hands through his hair, shaking his head. Kymora might be skilled in reading people’s auras and emotions in their voices but how could she claim that he loved Annika when even he wasn’t sure of what he felt for her?

Perhaps it was time he visited the temple and spent some time in prayer to the
Lady
. He could certainly use a few answers or barring that, any guidance
She
could provide him with in regards to Annika or the Council.

With a last look toward the balcony and a thought for the pair undergoing lessons carving letters into the ground, Kalan also decided he’d drop in to see a merchant in Bartertown to see about ordering some paper and books for Annika.

ANNIKA quietly closed the door to the apartment, steeling herself for the inevitable encounter with Kalan she’d tried to avoid all day. Spending most of it with Rissa learning the human’s written language had helped but by late afternoon the girl had excused herself to undertake chores.

Turning, Annika surveyed the main room, listening for the sound of someone else in the other chambers. All she could hear was the crackling of the fire over in the grate and the faint murmur of voices outside in the corridor where Light Blade warriors now stood guarding the
Lady
’s
Chosen
.

Her nostrils flared at the mouthwatering scent of food. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast. On the table platters, bowls, and plates for a meal had been set at one end. Delivered recently by the look of it. Steam rose through the holes. She hurried over, intending to sneak a look at what lay underneath the covers but a collection of objects at the other end made her detour.

“Lady’s Breath,”
she murmured.

Piled carefully in one corner was a small pile of books, all different thicknesses, with gold letters on their front covers. Unable to resist, she picked up the top one and reverently thumbed through its pages.

Next to them lay a stack of paper tablets. Beside them, a stylus, a blank paged journal tied with a leather buckle, bottles of ink. And propped against one of them was a single sheaf of paper. A word and a likeness of her face were drawn on it. Her breath caught.

The note was for her?

Chapter 19

D
RAGGING out a chair, Annika set aside the book, and sat down. Her hand shook as she opened the note. Under her breath she tried to sound out the words written on it. Some she managed but many she couldn’t. The very last word on the page took a heartbeat to decipher.

“Kalan.”
She bit her lip.

“I thought the paper and books would last longer than letters etched into dirt.”

Annika’s heart leapt in her chest as Kalan’s voice came quietly from behind her. She jerked around in the chair to find him standing in the doorway of his room.

“Rissa makes a good teacher,” he said. The smile he offered her was oddly hesitant as if he was unsure of his welcome.

“You saw us in the garden?” She averted her gaze as her cheeks flooded with warmth.

“Annika, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I don’t live up to your people’s standards.” The words tasted like ash in her mouth.

“I’ve faith you’ll prove them wrong.” His voice was strong and sure. “By week’s end you’ll be reading most of those books.”

Her gaze strayed back to his gift to her. Unbidden, her hand ran over the leather-bound book, enjoying the feel of its smooth cover. She inhaled the dusty, dry smell deeply, pleasure filling her as she detected Kalan’s scent underneath it, as if he’d held each item awhile before placing them on the table.

Such a precious gift. His kindness touched her on a level that erased some of the raw emotions from that morning. She stole a glance at him. His green gaze burned with hunger and also something else she couldn’t identify but it had the power to take her breath away.

She swallowed hard. “No one’s ever given me a gift before.” Her fingers rasped softly over the letter in her hand. “I wish I could read this.”

Half a dozen strides and the tall warrior knelt at her side. Kalan took the sheet and spread it on the table. The warmth of his body pressed against her thigh and a few, long strands of hair brushed the side of her arm as he bent to read the letter.

“It says, ‘Blessed is the day I ended up in chains as a prisoner of the
Na’Reish
, for I met a woman who opened my eyes and captured my heart with her compassion, her strength, and her dream.’ ”

She gasped. He paused and glanced at her. The light in his eyes held a vulnerability she’d never seen before. He continued reading, his voice husky.

“ ‘I should have told you who I was once we were safe out of
Na’Reish
territory. I know I’ve broken your trust again, and you’re justified in any anger you may feel because of what I’ve done, but I never meant to hurt you. I was a fool.’ ”

Regret and pain shadowed his voice. It made it hard to maintain the sense of betrayal she’d felt for him not telling her who he was. Annika thought herself prepared for an encounter of some sort over the revelations of the day. But not this.

His finger trailed under the last line of writing. “ ‘I’m a fool who values your friendship, one who would help you build a future here with me.’ ”

His soft-spoken words hung between them, held there by the fragile thread of hope. She found herself wanting him to read them again but was afraid to ask. Someone took a ragged breath. And another. And another. Then she realized it was her.

How could a simple letter affect her so much? Throat hurting, she swallowed repeatedly. Where was the ugly sting of betrayal she’d felt most of the afternoon? She wanted to confront him. She wanted an explanation for his hypocrisy. But she didn’t want to lose what they had between them in this moment. Never had she experienced something so precious. Berating him would destroy his words and the intent behind his gift.

“Kalan…” Her voice sounded rusty and hoarse, and on the verge of breaking. She clenched her jaw shut until it ached. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to rage at him or just cry. She just knew she was weak enough to consider forgiving him despite her emotions.

He took her hand in his. Somber, green eyes lifted to lock with hers. “I know you’re probably not ready for any of this, not after today. All I ask is that you think about what I’ve said.”

Relief washed through her. She grasped at his offer and nodded.

Inhaling deeply, he rose and motioned to the other end of the table. “Will you eat with me?”

He helped her to her seat. She watched as he uncovered the platters then served them both. Such a normal courtesy, one reserved for the
Na’Reish
, not her. Until Kalan. He made her feel special. Cared for.
Human.

Annika ate what he placed on her plate but never tasted the food. Her mind was reeling, replaying the words in the note she still clasped in one hand. She barely heard Kalan recounting the events of his afternoon, the trip he’d made to the merchant to purchase the supplies sitting on the other end of the table.

It wasn’t until she lay in her bed, hours after the meal finished, staring up into the darkness, that she realized what he’d done.

He’d given her his friendship. He’d accepted her.

And by doing so, he’d laid his soul bare.

For her.

Fingers clenching in the covers, Annika sat up. The strange vulnerability on his face and in his eyes had been fear. The fear of being rejected.

She cringed. How could she not have recognized the emotion? He’d left himself vulnerable in the most terrible of ways. Why would he do such a thing?

Her skin heated then goose bumps broke out over her body. She wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked. Forcing her lungs to take a calming breath she dared think of what his friendship meant.
Acceptance.

Should she believe Kalan?

Could she trust him?

What was the alternative? Even without conjuring details, her future appeared bleak but an offer of friendship made it seem less lonely.

She reached under the pillow where Kalan’s letter lay. As her fingertips touched the parchment she heard his voice reciting the words contained on it. The emotions behind them stuck in her mind and from them sprang a warmth that spread rapidly through her.

It brought to life a dream she’d only ever dared think about in the dead of night when there’d been no one watching, no one to see the longing on her face or the color of her eyes.

The darkness and silence of her room made it too easy to be tempted. Reality tended to destroy dreams and beautiful words written on paper. Had done it so many times she’d lost count. But she felt like a moth drawn to a candle flame. Just this once she wanted to know what it would be like to push aside all doubt and fear.

Before her courage deserted her, Annika slid from her bed and padded on silent feet to Kalan’s room. He’d left his door open and there was enough light from the dying fire in the outer chamber to see that he slept. He lay on his back, the blankets draped over his body, where they twisted and tangled around his legs, testament to the fact that he’d tossed and turned before falling asleep.

She took a deep breath at the image he made lying there. Wavering shadows threw his handsome face into sharp relief. Even a day’s growth of beard couldn’t suppress the compelling power and strength of his features.

Just looking at him filled her with such longing. Her shoulders slumped. She could no longer deny she wanted whatever he would give her. A friendship. A future. A life instead of a dream.

You’re weak, just like your mother!
Savyr’s condemnation tore through her.

A small sound caught in the back of her throat. Kalan stirred, as if the soft noise had woken him. Long lashes flickered opened and he glanced toward the doorway.

“Annika?” His sleep-roughened voice hit her low in the gut. “Is something wrong?”

She couldn’t speak. He sat up, his bare chest and an enticing patch of naked hip revealed as the covers slid to his lap. She tried to swallow and couldn’t, her mouth suddenly dry. Every instinct screamed at her to go back to her room but she couldn’t make her feet move.

“How can you give someone the power to hurt you?” she asked, hoarsely. “In that letter you gave me the perfect weapon. You knew I was angry at you for not telling me who you were, yet you did it anyway.”

Kalan reached for the striker sitting next to a candle on the small table by his bedside. He lit it and she moved to the end of the bed, to where he could see her face in the small circle of light.

“You take a risk any time you tell someone you care for them.” His voice was soft as he propped his arms up on raised knees. “But what’s the alternative? Denying yourself friendship? Happiness? Something more?

“Yes, I gave you the perfect weapon for retribution against me. I’m frightened my actions have hurt you too much to forgive me, but I’m more afraid of denying myself the chance of knowing what might happen between us.”

Her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands. She stared down at the foot of his bed only half seeing the intricately carved workmanship of the wooden posts as what he said resonated in her soul.

“I felt like such a fool in that Council chamber.” Her voice quavered. “I kept asking myself how I missed seeing who you were. I thought of all those questions I’d asked you about the
Lady
’s
Chosen
, of how I was going to beg him for sanctuary because I didn’t think your word would be enough for him to see past the markings on my face… and all that time, I was already speaking to him…”

“I’m sorry, Annika.” His soft apology snapped her head back. His gaze met hers, remorse shining in their depths. “It was hypocritical of me to accuse you of deception when I was doing the same thing.”

She shook her head, the last of her anger dying with his misunderstanding. “I understand why you never told me who you were, Kalan. Had you been found out my father would’ve used you.” Speaking that aloud brought goose bumps to her skin.

A frown creased his brow. “Then why… I don’t understand—”

“
Merciful Mother
, I drank blood in front of you!” The words slipped from her before she could stop them. “You, of all people!” Shame writhed under her skin. She took a small step back into the shadows, too afraid of what he’d see in her face.