Venus in India (19 page)

I thanked Lavie heartily for his sympathy and then told him how I had quite unexpectedly recovered; how I had had a wet dream and how delighted I had been. He was glad to hear what I had told him as he had begun to get alarmed for me but he evidently was curious to know why I was so very despondent. So I told him it arose from my having received a letter from my wife announcing her speedy arrival in India with a six months' baby in her belly and I said I was alarmed for her safety. Lavie was quite taken in and the rest of our conversation turned on the folly of pregnant women undertaking long and tedious journeys; the terrors of the hot weather; infant mortality in India and so forth, but my mind lamented the lost chance of dear Fanny's cunt just as it seemed so well within my reach.

On arrival at Akhtora I went direct to the Selwyn tent and found Mrs Selwyn and the colonel sitting in the shade of it, for the sun was burning hot although the air was so cool, it being in the middle of the delicious cool weather of northern India. Fanny who was sitting by her mother's side blushed. Oh! she blushed a beet-red blush which fortunately her mother did not see. Mabel standing in the tent door leaning against the door-pole grinned at me and turned red too for a moment and knowing that she had a dark background she gave me a perfect contour of her rising bosom, swelling out her fine little bubbies as much as she could and showing her legs too by occasionally putting her foot up against the opposite door-pole as high as she could reach. She had extremely good legs and very pretty feet and ankles. Jardine and Amy were sitting at the far corner of the tent. The colonel soon went off to see the camp and I then told Mrs Selwyn about Louie's letter.

Both she and Fanny called out in surprise at the sudden determination Louie had taken and looked at one another. Poor Fanny turned as white as death. So white that I thought she was going to faint. Mrs Selwyn saw it but fortunately did not put it down to the real cause.

'Fanny! Fanny! God bless the child! Did you ever see a mortal turn so white in a second?'

Fanny's faintness, however, only lasted a second. With that wonderful determination which I afterwards found to be so strong a feature of her character, she pulled herself together again and said it was nothing.

'Nothing!' exclaimed her mother. 'I'll tell you what it is, you are overdoing yourself. This march and the long rides are wearing you out, You must ride in the dhoolie like Amy and me.'

'Oh! Mother!' cried Fanny. 'I assure you it is really nothing! I really am as strong as a horse and quite fit to bear -' but here she paused as if seeking for a word.

'A husband and get children!' cried the impudent Mabel.

'Mabel!' cried Mrs Selwyn, 'how dare you! How dare you say such things and before Captain Devereaux, too! Go into the tent, miss, and don't presume to come out until I let you! I'll give you a whipping, miss! Go in I tell you!'

Mabel looked at me and as she turned to obey, laughing, acted as though she had a baby in her arms which she was giving suck to. Her mother did not see it but I did and was amused as well as a little, a very little, shocked, of course.

'It is all this horrible India!' cried Mrs Selwyn to me. 'Fanny, dear, is not that your papa coming back? Get up and see, that's a dear girl.'

'Yes,' continued Mrs Selwyn, 'it is wonderful how precocious children become in India, both in mind and body. Now look at that naughty Mabel. She is not much more than twelve years old and as you see I still keep her in short frocks to let her remember that she is not grown up yet. But, dear Captain Devereaux, I can tell you that Mabel is grown up and could marry tomorrow and get children as fast as could be. You would be surprised if you were to see her in her bath. Of course, you are a married man so I can speak to you about such things; if you were a bachelor I could not. So I can tell you that Mabel has breasts like a woman, thighs like a woman and hair - hem! ahem! what was I saying? Oh! yes, she is fully developed.

I could hardly help laughing at the slip she had so nearly made when she mentioned 'hair', but I refrained for the thought of hair around that pretty little cunt, which I had now both seen and felt, entered my mind and I sighed to think that probably my prick would never gain entrance there, nor indeed, to that darling one for which my whole body craved, that between lovely Fanny's thighs.

Well, Mrs Selwyn,' I said, 'the only thing for it is to do as I say. Try and not notice anything which is not too openly said and done in the way of sexual precociousness and try to lead the youthful mind into another channel. I promise you I will try and do my best to second you.'

'Ah! my dear, Captain Devereaux, how kind you are!' And the good lady let some tears run down her cheeks. Positively I felt an awful beast. For I had not at all intended to lead the girls themselves into any other channel than that which would the most speedily bring my prick slick into their charming cunts.

Oh! Lizzie Wilson! Lizzie Wilson! What a pity it was I ever had you. But for that I should have been overjoyed at my Louie's coming to me; but alas! Lizzie's delightful cunt had brought back all that old burning love of change which had made me a cunt-hunter before I was married.

I must leave my sympathising readers to realise the contending passions which tore me. There were now dancing before me two sweet, sweet cunts - Louie's and Fanny's; Mabel's did not count I had the most intense desire to taste Fanny's. I felt so sure it would be superb to fuck the girl on account of her passionate temperament. I had the liveliest recollection of my Louie's and the more I recalled it to mind the more I loved the thought of it and the stiffer it made my prick to stand.

I had fully expected on arrival at Fackabad to have found Louie there or a letter announcing her arrival at Bombay, whereas what I did find was a letter written in the greatest despondency saying that upon application to the agents of the P & O she was told that there would be no room for her until the third steamer after the one she had intended coming by. Sure that she was coming, I behaved accordingly and kept as much out of Fanny's way as I could without being downright rude. Even Mrs Selwyn complained of my making myself such a stranger. The colonel did not mind because Mrs Soubratie satisfied his every want regularly, I having taken a bungalow just at the back of the Selwyns so making it very handy for the poor colonel when he felt cunt-hungry, which was very often. But Fanny was awfully offended with me. There was no deceiving her. She knew quite well what it meant and that I was simply sacrificing her happiness to the exigencies of the case. Yet at times, when I was unavoidably thrown into her society more closely than at others, I could not so well preserve the gravity of my demeanour as to prevent her seeing that I admired her and what a real pleasure it was for me to be with her. Once indeed she said to me, 'Captain Devereaux, once upon a time I thought you the wisest man I ever knew.'

'And what do you think me now, Miss Selwyn?'

'A fool!' said she with emphasis. Jumping up, she walked away with her head in the air and in the most disdainful manner.

After that I thought that the sooner Louie came the better. If once a woman despises a man it is a poor chance he has of ever having her.

But it seemed to me that there would never be a chance of poor Louie's coming. By some extraordinary error on somebody's part she missed the steamer and then came a catastrophe which caused a silence of two mails and indeed nearly ended her life. I think what I felt most was Fanny Selwyn's apparent nonchalance when she heard that Louie's life was in great danger. At one time she would have found it difficult to avoid expressing openly her joy at such a catastrophe, for if Louie died she would (she was sure of it) marry me, but now she coldly hoped that poor Mrs Devereaux might recover. The accident which so nearly put an end to poor Louie very nearly put an end to my offspring also. Our little baby girl, playing at the top of the stairs, very nearly tumbled down them. Louie who was watching her sprang to help her and in doing so tripped and not only fell but precipitated herself and the baby down the whole flight. Fortunately the child was not seriously injured but poor Louie, being in the family way, was terribly hurt. The result was a premature confinement and the delivery of a dead boy and a hovering between life and death for some weeks. My anxiety was fearful. Poor Mrs Selwyn did all she could to comfort me. All the family, even Mabel (who had developed into a very naughty girl, forever talking double entente since I had tickled her cunnie at Nowshera), showed their sympathy with me, except Fanny, who openly said that I did not deserve a good wife and so God was taking mine from me. I can tell you that there was much more hate than love between us at that time. Fortunately it was, however, only skin deep. Fanny and I were both deceiving ourselves. She imagined that she detested me as much as she had loved me before and I tried to think that after all she was by no means as desirable as I had at first thought and that if I had the chance now I would not fuck her.

So days and days rolled by. There was an assumed truce between us and things might have gone on so until Fanny and I should have been separated in the natural course of events - but all was in the hands of Venus who smiled at our puny efforts to guide our own course. The time for the sacrifice had arrived; the veil of Fanny's maidenhead was doomed to destruction and in the shrine of her virgin cunt was to be set up that prick which had once been the god of her ardent devotion. Yes, Fanny Selwyn with joy opened her thighs to me and I will now tell you how it all came about.

Fackabad is a large station. A European and a native regiment are always quartered there with a battery of artillery and a squadron of native cavalry; there were plenty of civilians too so that we had some very good society in the place. In this way it was very different from Cherat where there were no civilians and only our regiment and the details of others. At Fackabad we had a judge, a deputy commissioner, a civil doctor, a civil engineer and a number of other civilians, besides a Roman Catholic priest, a Church of England padre and a Presbyterian minister. In addition to these male exhorters, who lived pure and simple and blameless lives, we had a number of very charming youthful ladies known as the Zenana Mission, one of the fair female missionaries being so beautifully furnished with charms both of face and person that she raised desire far more carnal than spiritual in the minds of those mundane inhabitants of the cantonment who like myself worshipped the Creator in his creatures.

Lawn tennis, polo and cricket occupied the quiet ones and all were attractive pursuits on the beautiful evenings when the cool shade made exercise delightful and even necessary, for it can be very cool from the end of November to the beginning of March in the northern part of India; we soldiers had plenty of parades, with drills both morning and evening, except on Thursdays and Sundays, days always devoted to rest and ease in that country. If we had been idle at Cherat we made up for it now at Fackabad and there were not a few who welcomed the coming hot weather - hot winds, hot nights, hot days - for the sake of the nominal parades and the minimum amount of work, for man is by nature an idle animal when his pleasures are not concerned.

Hence my patient readers can readily understand that as the houses of the cantonment spread over a very considerable space and our work lay in very different directions, I really saw very little of my once constant companions. We saw one another at mess in the evenings and would say a few words to one another but I was never much addicted to staying longer than to smoke a cigarette after dinner; I was only too glad to go home and to take off my uniform and, clad in loose clothes, to sit in my long armchair and smoke and read at my ease rather than stay late after mess. Besides I was sore at heart. I was in great anxiety about poor Louie after her accident and I could not but recognise that so far as Fanny Selwyn was concerned the course of true love not only did not run at all smooth but that to all appearances the frail bark in which I had sailed down that current had got stranded if not altogether wrecked. I felt defeated and defeated through my own fears and I felt somewhat degraded in her eyes - in the eyes of a girl who had almost invited me to fuck her. I felt that she despised me and my want of that courage which is so valued by the girl full of desire and passion. But instead of trying to regain my lost footing in her esteem I had quite come to the conclusion that I must give up all idea of Fanny, that the enterprise I was once so naturally embarked upon had been providentially nipped in the bud and that to endeavour again to embark upon it would be to tempt providence to pour down the vials of its wrath upon my foolish head; but I was unhappy all the same; I did not like it.

Venus, behind her ambrosial clouds, naked, loving, beautiful, smiled as she read my heart.

I might have kept up my acquaintance more vigorously with the Selwyns but for Mabel. That little girl, ever since I had tickled her cunnie at Nowshera, evidently looked forward to being fucked by me very soon and she was more than daring whenever I visited her family. She plagued me beyond bearing. Her delight was, by word, look or gesture, to make my prick stand, no matter whether her mother was standing beside us, and my embarrassment was simply enormous. Pretending to consider herself a mere child, she would in spite of her mother's too feeble chidings seat herself on my lap and hiding her hand under her feel for and clutch my infernal fool of a prick, which would stand furiously for her though I wished it cut off at such moments. If I happened to be spending an evening at her father's house and to be engaged in a game of chess with one of the two girls, Mabel would find an opportunity to slip unnoticed under the table, crawl to my knees and with her nimble fingers unbutton my trousers and, putting in her little exciting hand, take possession of all she found there. I should have laughed at it only I was terrified lest this very forward play might be discovered. I had to sit tight up against the table and do my best to seem unconcerned whilst Mabel's moving hand was precious nearly making me spend! - a catastrophe I am thankful to say she never quite succeeded in bringing about. I took every chance to beg and implore her to be more careful of herself and me but her reply would be to toss up her short frocks and treat me to a complete exposure of her lovely thighs, downy motte and sweet young cunt, which she would insist on my feeling and which I was too weak to resist doing. It was the torture of Tantalus I was called upon to endure and the consequence was as much absence as I could keep from the colonel's house and the feeling on Fanny's side that my object was to avoid her. I could not tell Fanny the truth for she would have been madder than ever to hear that I had felt Mabel's cunt for the first time immediately after she had told me of the wonderful and delicious dream she had had of my fucking her at Nowshera.