Verse (5 page)

Chapter 18

Erwin, Faye, Sydney, Garrett, and I sit on the bleachers and watch the varsity soccer team practice. They all chitchat about what they’re doing on the weekend if the weather holds up and I take out the
Bible
and read.

For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many. And when ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars, be ye not troubled: for such things must needs be; but the end shall not be yet.

Erwin says, “Which part are you reading?”

I look up and say, “Are you interested?”

Erwin says, “Yeah,” and I look around at the others and Faye nods at me.

I say, “I’m reading
Mark
,
The Gospel According to St. Mark
.” I read the passage aloud.

Erwin says, “What does that even mean?”

“Well, most scholars say he’s prophesizing about the First Jewish Revolt. They were defeated by the Romans and a million Jews were killed and the Temple was destroyed. And a lot of people thought the end of the world was coming. But it didn’t, obviously.”

Faye says, “Yeah.”

I say, “Then later it says,

the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken. And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory.

“So he’s saying just because there’s war and false messiahs, don’t be fooled. Wait for the real messiah and the final war.”

Garrett says, “But how do we know the false messiahs from the true one?”

I say, “God speaks to us, you can feel him, feel his will. He will tell you the truth. Can you hear him?”

Garrett shrugs.

Faye says, “I think I can.”

The bell rings and everyone stands.

Faye says to Erwin, “I’ll meet you in class,” and then she looks at me, so I know she wants me to hang back with her.

They all step down the benches and head back to school along with the team, leaving just the two of us.

We sit back down and she scoots closer to me.

She says, “What do you think of Erwin?”

I say, “He’s a great guy. What do you mean?”

“He asked me out.”

“Oh.”

“What do you think?”

“You want dating advice from me?”

“Do you think I should do it?”

“Do you like him?”

She says, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay.”

“You know I used to be… In middle school, I liked Erwin. But I was a cheerleader and he was… He’s a nerd.”

“Now you’re down here with all us nerds.”

“You’re not a nerd.”

I laugh. “Why do you hang out with us, Faye?”

“That thing you said about God speaking to us, telling us things we know are true, deep down. None of my old friends used to talk about anything really meaningful.”

I nod.

She says, “Some of the things you say, they mean more to me than anything.”

I nod.

She says, “I hang out with you because I believe in you.”

She’s leaned in close to me.

She says, “So you think I should go out with him?”

I say, “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

She shrugs, “Okay.”

I stand up and say, “We’re late for class,” and we head down the bleachers.

Chapter 19

The bell rings and Sydney and I go out to a picnic table for him to smoke.

“Nothing like a beautiful day and a cigarette,” he says, inhaling menthol.

I shake my head. “I’m glad it’s the last day this year we’ll have to be cooped up.”

“Yeah. Great.”

“Is summer camp that bad?” I push aside a tray someone’s left and sit on the table.

“I don’t like any of the people there. And all the hiking. Hey, what if—? Have you thought about going?”

I study my shoes on the bench. “I don’t know, I don’t think— My mom can’t afford it anyway.”

“It’s not that much!”

“But she won’t.”

Someone yells, “You’re a God damn snitch?” I look up to see a guy, maybe a senior, stomping toward us from the parking lot. He says, “Did you tell your daddy about our fight?”

Sydney says, “What? No.”

The guy gets in Sydney’s face. “Who told him then?”

“I don’t know, someone who saw it.”

“Who?”

“I said—”

“I think it was you,” and he smacks Sydney in the side of the head. Not that hard, but Sydney pulls back.

I stand up.

Sydney says, “No, I told you I didn’t!”

I grab the tray off the table.

“You’re a goddamn rat and you know it!”

I smack the guy in the side of the head with the tray.

“Ahh—!”

He’s on me, shoving me and I stumble back, and he pushes me again and I try to keep him off but he’s—

And then Mr. Narita gets between us, yelling, “Stop it! Both you two! Go to the dean!” and it’s over.

Narita takes us to the office, and the senior and I wait outside while he talks to Washington. He comes out and sends the senior in.

The senior comes out and I go in.

Washington watches me as I sit down. “You almost made it the entire year without getting in trouble again, Manuel. Not quite though. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You were in a fight.”

I shrug.

“John said you started it.”

“Who? Mr. Narita?”

“What? No. You don’t even know who you were fighting? John Hoyle?”

I shrug.

“Great, starting fights with kids you don’t even know. After our conference last year you seemed to be doing so much better. But now this.”

I shrug.

The bell rings.

He says, “Well, I’m going to call your mom about this. And I hope you take the summer and figure out where your priorities should be. Go to class.”

I leave his office and Sydney is standing out there, waiting for me.

I say, “Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything.”

He says, “Thanks,” and he follows me to History.

Chapter 20

We all meet out front, me, Erwin, Faye, Garrett, and Sydney. Erwin has his arm around Faye. She whispers something in his ear and he laughs. Garrett is talking with a new kid.

I say hi to Kyle, Garrett’s new friend, and shake hands with him.

The bell rings and we all walk inside.

I go to Physics with Sydney and Garrett.

The teacher starts class by saying, “Hello, I’m Mr. Quaid. Welcome to Physics. Now to be honest, physics is mostly math, which can get a bit dry, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun and do some practical demonstrations now and then.” He opens his desk drawer and takes out a yellow balloon marked with black spots.

He blows it up and says, “The Big Bang.”

He lets the balloon deflate, “The Big Crunch.”

Students laugh as he sets the balloon aside. He says, “You all know what the Big Bang is, right? It’s the way the universe was formed. All matter and energy were once compressed into a single point in space. That point exploded, creating the universe. And this year we’ll be doing some of the math that scientists actually used to formulate the theory. Yes?”

Sydney has his hand raised. “Where did the point come from?”

I look at Sydney, but he stays focused ahead.

Quaid says, “Now that’s an interesting question. Remember the Big Crunch? As you saw, it’s the opposite, the idea that one day, gravity will pull the universe back into one single point. Which leads us to the Big Bounce. Some scientists think that the Big Bang and Big Crunch are actually a cycle, each one causing the next, so that our universe is constantly in the process of being made and unmade. Now how did scientists calculate that? We need to calculate how much matter there is in the universe, which leads us to dark matter, and we also need to understand how gravity works. Yes?”

Sydney says, “Yeah but still, where did it all come from?”

“Well, um, before the Big Bang, if there was a time before the Big Bang, time didn’t necessarily exist. So it didn’t necessarily have a source as we would, you know… And even if it does, it may not even be possible for us to perceive the true origins of the universe.”

“But it must have all come from somewhere.”

“Maybe.”

Sydney says, “That was God.”

What?

A boy shouts, “Shut up!” and Sydney deflates.

Quaid says, “Please,” to the boy. To Sydney he says, “Well, you can’t really say God in a scientific discussion. Just because we haven’t discovered something, doesn’t mean it’s supernatural. Science has to go with evidence and um, you know? Saying that it was God is like giving up. It leads to silly and arbitrary assumptions.”

I say, “Silly and arbitrary?” A few students groan. “Why is a religious explanation any more silly and arbitrary than a scientific one?”

Quaid says, “Scientific reason relies on proof. Religious explanations are unprovable. Because if there were proof, it wouldn’t be religion, it’d just be science.”

“But you said it yourself, we may not even be capable of comprehending or perceiving the true nature of the universe.”

“That’s true…”

“So couldn’t God be a part of that?”

“It could be, but anything could be…”

“Yeah, that anything is God.”

“No. Like I said, God has no place in a scientific discussion.”

“No place? That’s exactly where we should be discussing God. The problem is when people try to compartmentalize it. We need to be talking about God in a scientific manner, or else both science and religion lose all meaning.”

“Okay, all right, that’s enough. You’re not even allowed to talk about this.”

“You were talking about it.”

“I said the discussion is finished.”

“Who’s being silly and arbitrary now?”

“Do you want to see the dean, Man-well?”

“It’s Man-you-ell.”

“Fine. Do you want to see the dean, Manuel?”

“If you want me to, sure, why not?”

“Fine, you can go see the dean!”

I stand up, pick up my things, and weave through the desks, past Quaid, and out the door.

I wait outside Washington’s office till the receptionist says I can go in.

I sit down in front of him while he watches me. He takes a deep breath and lets it out.

Finally, he says, “So here you are, facing me, on the first day, just like on the last day.”

I nod and tell him briefly what happened.

He says, “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Starting conflict like this.”

“I didn’t start it.”

“Yes you did. And this isn’t the first time. I’ve tried to stay out of it, despite my misgivings, because I don’t want to interfere in you boys’s social lives, but when you make trouble at school, I have to. You’re a leader to those kids.
You have a responsibility to set an example for them.”

“I do set an example.”

“I know you do. You know, I’ve gotten some calls from your friends’ parents. Calling out of concern. I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to interfere and I still don’t.”

“What does this have to do with my argument with Mr. Quaid?”

“Everything! You’re showing off, trying to make yourself a hero and us teachers the villains. And your friends’ parents say their kids are acting differently. They talk about God a lot. They talk about you. Lord knows I’ve seen it in Sydney. On the other hand he seems happier, he’s doing better in school. And I’m appreciative. And I told them it’s not my job to police who hangs out with whom, or what you talk about, but it’s your responsibility not to lead these kids down the wrong path.”

“I’m leading them down the right path.”

“I know you’re a good kid, Manuel. I’m dealing with gangs and drugs and teen pregnancies and you kids are all smart and clean and I want to support you and I don’t have the time or the desire to deal with you making trouble in class.”

“I’m not making trouble.”

“Don’t get defensive, Manuel. We talked about you preaching religion at school.”

“I wasn’t preaching religion!”

“You’re still telling those kids you’re the messiah!”

“You can’t censor private conversations.”

“Outbursts like the one you had in class aren’t private conversations!”

“It wasn’t just me, Mr. Quaid talked about God too.”

“And now you have a year of class ahead of you with a teacher who you’ve already got mad at you. What are you going to do, hope for a B? Maybe a C+? Because your participation grade is already in the toilet.”

“I’ll participate!”

“Like you participated today?”

“No. I mean, I’ll be a good student.”

“You think that’s going to matter?”

“He can’t give me a bad grade because of one day of bad behavior! You’re the dean! It’s your job to make sure he’s not biased!”

“You being argumentative in class is not him being biased!”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever! Who cares! You think I don’t see through your phony indifference when you say stuff like that?”

I shrug.

He exhales loudly and leans back in his chair. “Why are you doing this? Are you angry at us teachers for some reason?”

“You think it’s all about you.”

“What’s it about then?”

“Are you going to punish me or can I go?”

“You’re not in trouble. I just want to see you doing the right thing.”

“I always try to do the right thing.”

He sighs. “But I want to make sure you’re not gonna start any more conflicts.”

“I’m not trying to start any conflicts, I’m just being the way I am, and sometimes conflicts start as a result of that. I can’t help it.”

“All right. Just stop. Just stop! Just because you say you’re the messiah doesn’t mean you need to be a martyr at every opportunity.”

“I’m not!”

“Then do what your teachers tell you to do! Be a good student!”

I huff.

“And don’t roll your eyes at me. Sit out the rest of class and go to your next one afterward.”

I leave the office.

In the hallway, Sydney is waiting for me.

“You are the messiah,” he says.

Chapter 21

Faye and I walk down the hall, through students milling between classes. She says, “My parents are so mad. They keep saying we’ve been brainwashed and stuff. They don’t get it at all.”

I say, “A new revelation always brings division between family members. All the way back to Abraham and Joseph.”

She says, “Yeah I know, it’s just like, they keep saying, my mom was like, ‘I forbid you to talk to him,’ you know?”

“Yeah, I—” there’s a commotion up ahead and Garrett and Kyle are in the crowd. I rush ahead and Sydney and Erwin are fighting, grappling with each other.

I get in the middle and push them apart, Sydney is clawing, but I hold him off and Faye is right behind me, grabbing onto Erwin.

They both calm down a little and Sydney says, “I would so love to switch places with you right now.”

Erwin lunges forward, out of Faye’s grip, but I push him back. Sydney is laughing.

“Stop it!” I say. “Sydney’s coming with me, Erwin you stay here.”

I pull Sydney through the crowd and around the corner.

“What was that about?” I say.

“Nothing.” Like he’s a little kid and I’m his dad.

“Come on,” and I lead him down the hall.

“Erwin asked me…” He sighs. “Erwin asked me if I masturbated. Like he wanted to know if it was okay or not. I think he was too embarrassed to ask you.”

I bite the inside of my lip. “Okay…?”

“And I said…” He sighs. “I said, ‘I do it all the time when I think about your girlfriend.’”

I suppress the laugh as best I can, but Sydney sees it and laughs and then we’re both laughing.

I say, “Damn it, man. You can’t say that to him.”

“I know. That’s why I said it.” He glances at me. “Her tits have gotten so big.”

Like I didn’t notice. I say, “Just don’t,” and we go to class.