Vicarious (28 page)

I feel like food. Like a mouse dropped into a snake's enclosure. My heart rattles in my chest. I'm fairly certain I'm sweating inside of my wet suit. Can the sharks sense my fear? I want to close my eyes, but I don't. That would cheat the visers out of one of my senses.

I kick my fins up and down to hover in the center of the cage, being careful to keep all of my extremities away from the bars. The tigers swim in patterns. They circle around. They circle below. I wonder if this is what it's like for their prey, if they toy with it for a while before striking the killing blow. Slowly I exhale and then take in another breath of air.

And then the cage ricochets against the side of the boat with a deafening clang and hard metal slams into me. One of the sharks must have rammed us.

The world goes dark for a second as I instinctively close my eyes. When I open them, Jesse signals me to surface
. About time
. I kick my feet and reach skyward, but I don't go anywhere. My diving boot is caught on the cage.

I tug hard. Still stuck. I imagine the shark returning for another hit.

Its teeth closing around my ankle.

Bones snapping like raw spaghetti.

Bending down, I fumble with one hand, trying to free the loop of neoprene that has snagged itself on the bar. The mako swims by, leaving behind a wake that pushes my body away from the side of the cage. I flail in the water, yanking with all of my strength. And then I see the monster tiger shark glide past, its mouth wide enough to swallow me whole, its jagged teeth eager to tear me to pieces.

It fades into the distance.

Reappears.

Circles out away from me.

Dives low.

It rushes the cage, all dead eyes and sharp teeth.

I open my mouth to scream as the shark slams into the bars.

And my foot.

But there's no piercing pain, no curls of blood in the water. Struggling to remain calm, I try once more to free myself, this time by removing my fin and the boot that is snagged. But the boot has no zipper and the stretchiness of the material makes it cling to my ankle. Pressure builds up in my face and head again.

Frantic, I wave my arms, hoping Sam or Eli can see me from above the water. Where is Jesse? Why did he surface without me? Why hasn't he seen that I'm trapped? A cluster of bubbles escape my lips. My head feels like someone is crushing it in a trash compactor. I can't remember what to do to make the pain go away. The water fades from blue to black as I start to pass out. The last thing I see is a blur of gray as big as a bus, a set of knifelike fins heading for the cage again.

 

CHAPTER 30

I wake
up on the beach, lying on my side. The memory of the sharks rushes back, assaulting me like snapping teeth. Biting back a scream, I test my limbs, one at a time. Left hand. Right hand. Left foot. Right foot. Everything seems to be attached. I exhale, slow and shaky, as I look up at the sky.

The night sky.

I blink rapidly, but the stars are still there. How is that possible? We did the second dive right after lunch. I sit up, glancing around me for my phone. The beach is dotted with bursts of activity—a couple walking along the water, the flickering light of a bonfire just down the way. Above my head, palm trees sway in a gentle breeze, their thick waxy leaves blotting out part of the moon. A chill runs up my spine as I realize I'm wearing the warm-up pants and hooded sweatshirt I wore over my swimsuit, but I don't remember putting them back on.

“Winter?” Jesse is staring at me like he's not quite sure I'm real.

“What happened? What time is it?” I grab the gear bag between us and work the buckle with trembling fingers.

“The sharks decided to try to eat the cage,” Jesse says. “Your boot was stuck. Don't you remember?”

“Yes. Sharks. Teeth. What happened after that?”

“You cut yourself loose and I fished you out of the water. Sam and Eli were a little freaked out. They made me promise not to sue.”

I remember the crushing feeling in my head as I struggled to escape. I got so scared I forgot to breathe. “I cut myself loose? But I passed out. Did I almost drown?” My voice is shrill with panic.

Jesse furrows his brow. “You never passed out, did you? I surfaced and expected you to follow. When you didn't, I thought you were being a hotshot and staying to get the perfect footage for the ViSE. A couple of minutes passed but I didn't see a lot of bubbles from your breathing. Then I noticed the line being jerked from below. I got worried, so I went down to get you and saw you trying to take off your boot.”

My hands finally manage to loosen the plastic buckle on the gear bag and I begin to unroll the waterproof Velcro seal. A small group of boys pass by us, chattering and laughing. “But I
remember
passing out.” I shudder.

“Maybe just for a few seconds,” Jesse says. “But you were conscious when I pulled you out of the water. And also for the ride back to the pier. I thought maybe you were in shock, but then you seemed to snap out of it. When we docked, you said you wanted to rest on the beach. I was going to take you to the hospital if you didn't wake up soon.”

Jesse's memory makes sense, but it's completely foreign to me. “Did I hit my head or something?” I do a cursory check of my skull, looking for sore spots. Sand rains down from my hair.

Jesse looks concerned. “Not that I know of. I suppose you could have hit it on the cage bars.”

I finally fish my phone out of the bag and see it's almost seven o'clock. “I've been lying on this beach for four hours?”

“Yeah. Diving tends to take a lot out of someone. Especially your first trip…”

Another chill ripples through me and I'm not sure if it's from the lost time or ocean breeze. “The last thing I remember is the biggest shark hitting the cage. Maybe if I play the ViSE I'll be able to put everything back together.”

“You can try,” Jesse says. “But you took your headset off once we got you out of the water.”

“Let me see what's recorded.”

“Are you sure you want to do that right now?” he asks. “Maybe we should get some food first. Go back to the hotel where we can relax.”

“It won't take that long.” I'm not going to be able to relax until I know what happened. I slip on my headset and play the ViSE from the beginning. At the part where I expect to lose consciousness, pressure builds up inside my head. And then:

Around me, the water is churning. A dark shape circles. My throat goes tight. Then suddenly, violently, the shark slams into the cage. I try to inhale, but I can't. It's like my lungs are closing up inside me. I tug at my boot again. It's stuck. Everything goes dark for a second. And then I reach down and manage to free my knife from where it's strapped to my leg. Quickly, I cut away the neoprene material and swim toward the surface.

Jesse appears in front of me. One arm encircles me from waist to shoulder in a rescue hold. Together we rise. Eli hauls me out of the ocean and I scramble over the edge of the boat and end up on the hard deck looking up at the sky. The brothers begin to argue. Jesse looks down at me, water dripping from the ends of his brown hair.

“Winter Kim, you have got to stop scaring the shit out of me,” he says.

I cough but don't speak. With one hand I reach up to remove my headset.

The ViSE goes dark, a slight shock moving through me.

“I don't remember anything after my boot got stuck,” I say.

“Haven't you repressed bad memories before?” Jesse asks gently. “I'm sure you were really scared. Maybe this is just one of those times.”

“Maybe,” I say. “I did that back in L.A. But I was hoping those times were over.”

*   *   *

We
take a taxi from the beach back to the hotel. I recline my seat and try to get comfortable as our driver dodges in and out of the South Florida traffic. Grabbing my phone, I get online and attempt to book us the next flight home. No seats are available tonight so I make us a reservation for tomorrow. By the time we make it back to the hotel, my head has cleared and I feel mostly recovered from my ordeal.

“What do you want to do for food?” Jesse asks.

We pass the check-in desk and turn the corner toward the stairwell. “I'm not sure my stomach is settled enough to eat anything,” I say. “Maybe some room service later.”

“That'll work.”

Jesse glances back at me over his shoulder as we head for our room on the second floor. “We can watch bad TV together. Maybe
Jaws
is on.”

“Not funny,” I say, but I like the idea of relaxing for once.

But then he slides his key into the slot and pushes open our door, and the evening's plans rapidly change.

Someone has ransacked our hotel room.

“Son of a bitch,” Jesse says.

The sheets from both beds are balled up on the floor and the mattresses hang askew from the box springs. Our duffel bags have been emptied onto the floor. Even the Bible has been pulled from the top drawer of the nightstand. I scan the wrinkled linens and the pile of clothes strewn around my bag. It doesn't take long to figure out what the thief was after.

Rose's music box lies open on the carpet. It's empty.

The ViSEs are missing.

 

CHAPTER 31

“Damn
it.” I retrieve the empty music box and set it on the nightstand. “I never should have let those out of my sight.”

Jesse pounds one fist lightly against the wall of the hotel room. “I can't even believe this.”

“What are we going to do? Clearly there's something crucial on one of those.” Desperation creeps into my voice.

“I swear I didn't see anything important,” he says. “But I guess I could've missed something in the background. Let's go ask the hotel clerk if they've got security cameras. Maybe we can figure out who did this.”

We return to the front desk where the girl on duty has unfortunately just come on shift. She tells us that only the head of security can review the day's tapes and he won't be back until tomorrow morning.

“So then there's no one on duty now?” I ask. “No security all night?”

“We have a couple of guys working the parking lot and can page the supervisor if needed.” She pauses. “Why? Did someone break into your room? I need to call the police if there's been a burglary.”

“Forget it,” I say. “We'll just come back tomorrow. We're leaving town in the morning, so there's no point in involving the police.”

“Well, you should still make a report because—”

“I'll take care of it once we know if anything was stolen,” Jesse tells her.

“Well, okay but…” Her voice trails off as she wilts under his penetrating gaze.

We head back to our room. I pause in the hallway, studying the lock for signs of forced entry. None. I check the window on the far wall. Double-paned glass, locked.

“I don't understand it,” I say. “How'd they get in? How'd they even know we were
here
?”

Jesse flops down on his bed and covers his face with his hands. “What a total nightmare. Do you think Gideon figured out you had Rose's ViSEs and sent someone to steal them?”

“Did you
tell
him I had her ViSEs?”

Jesse removes his hands and looks over at me. “I wouldn't do that to you.”

Almost without thinking, I start tidying my side of the room. “You wouldn't go behind my back about Rose's recordings, but you would jump me and try to strangle me just to help Gideon prove a point?” I hold a long-sleeved T-shirt against my chest and neatly fold it into a square.

“Well, I can assure you I won't be doing that ever again either. I'm still kind of sore in certain areas.” Jesse grimaces. “But you know how hard it is to disobey Gideon. I never know for sure when he threatens to fire me if he's being serious.”

“Right.” I reach for another wrinkled shirt. I smooth it, begin to line up its seams. Normally it's hard for me to disobey him too, but lately it hasn't seemed quite as difficult. Losing my sister has changed me. I don't know if it's desperation, necessity, or both. All I know is that Rose used to be the strong one, but now I have to be strong too. Part of being strong means making my own decisions, even if I know Gideon wouldn't agree, even if I might choose wrong.

Jesse exhales deeply. “I'm sorry. I feel like this is my fault somehow.”

“Why?” My fingers grab the next balled-up piece of fabric—the sweatpants I brought to sleep in.

“Because I'm the one who told you there was no other choice except to come here and do the ViSE.”

“It's not your fault, Jesse. But if whoever took those recordings thinks I'm going to stop looking for them, they're crazy. All this does is reinforce that I'm getting closer.”

“I hope you're right. Maybe we'll recognize someone on the security footage tomorrow. But right now I'm so hungry I can barely think straight—I'm going to order some food.” He tosses me the room service menu. “What do you want?”

I shake my head. “All I want is to kick myself for being so stupid. I should have kept those ViSEs with me at all times.”

“You had your mind on other things. You weren't stupid.”

I did have my mind on other things—on Jesse. Which
is
stupid considering everything that's happened lately. But sometimes adversity brings people together. I'm not sure I would have survived today without him. Even having him here right now takes the edge off this latest disaster.

*   *   *

After
I finish cleaning up my side of the room, I rinse myself off in the shower and change into clean clothes for sleeping. Jesse orders a burger and fries for himself and a plate of grapes and sushi for me, even though I insist I'm not hungry.