Victoria Victorious: The Story of Queen Victoria (35 page)

A
T FIRST I
had thought that the people were absolutely delighted with my marriage. They had cheered themselves hoarse at the wedding; but they seemed to get tired of approving very quickly and were looking for trouble. Sometimes I thought people did not like to see others happy.

Trouble was more exciting and they must have it.

I was very distressed when I heard that the Duchess of Cambridge refused to stand up when Albert's health was being drunk at one of the Dowager Queen's dinners. People commented on it. It was typical of the family; they were always afraid that someone was going to take precedence over them, and I expected they were angry because I had not married their son George.

There were cartoons in the press, some depicting Albert as a cowed husband who had to do what his wife told him to; others showed him as a scheming creature congratulating himself on having replaced his miserable £2,500 a year for £30,000.

The Coburgs were represented as ambitious grasping men who were worming their way into all the royal houses of Europe.

I wanted it stopped and naturally I brought up the matter with Lord Melbourne.

“We pride ourselves on a free press,” he said, shaking his head. “The people will allow no interference with that.”

“But it is so cruel,” I protested, “and so untrue.”

“Alas,” replied Lord Melbourne, “people in high places must expect to be shot at.”

“But why?”

“Because they are easy targets. The people want to hear these things. They do not buy papers to hear that everything is just as it should be. They would find that very dull.”

“It is a very sad commentary on life.”

“Life is often sad,” said Lord Melbourne. “Forget it. They will stop in time.”

Someone had even made a parody of the national anthem and I had heard it sung in the streets. I knew it off by heart.

I was afraid Albert would hear it—that wicked slander and the way in which they attempted to poke fun at his accent.

Nothing it seemed could be kept long from Albert. He was so quick to notice everything. Already he had pointed out things in the household that he thought were not as efficient as they might have been.

“My dearest Albert,” I said, “you must not be hurt by these stupid people.”

“I see,” said Albert, “that they do not like me. At one moment I am an ineffectual fool who must take his orders from his wife; at another I am a scheming adventurer.”

“If they but knew how good you are! Oh, Albert, in time they will. We must be patient.”

He looked at me very steadily and said, “Oh yes, we must be patient.”

And I had an idea that he was talking more to himself than to me.

A
LBERT SAID TO
me one day, “Do you not find it rather dull…these evenings?”

“Why no, Albert,” I replied. “I love the evenings when we are together, don't you?”

He said, “I think we could invite more interesting people to Court.”

“But the people we see
are
the Court.”

“At Rosenau we would have writers, scientists, artists … people like that.”

“Oh, I do not like such people. They talk of things of which I know nothing.”

“You could learn and find them very interesting, I am sure.”

“Of course Rosenau was only a little Court. I think this is rather different.”

“Your uncle, King George the Fourth, I believe, entertained people of culture.”

“Oh, he was considered very raffish. The people did not like him, you know.”

“He must have had some very interesting gatherings.”

“I thought you were happy.”

He took my hand tenderly and kissed it. “My little one, you are charming. It is just that I miss certain interests.”

“Oh, my dear Albert, you must not
miss
anything.”

“You see, you have your work, your talks with your Prime Minister, your papers to study. I…I am just here. I would like to help you.”

“Oh, how good of you! But you see, I have to discuss matters of state which only the Queen can do. There are so many papers to sign. To be the Queen is not only opening things like Parliament and balls. It is not only showing oneself wearing the crown.”

“I want you to know that I am here to help you.”

“Dear Albert!”

It occurred to me then that he had not enough to do. At Rosenau, he was always busy and Albert was not a man who would look for amusement all the time. He was very serious.

Lord Melbourne came and left behind a batch of papers for my signature. I had an idea. I called to Albert.

“Dearest,” I said, “I have work here. Would you help me?”

His dear face lit up with joy.

“With the greatest of pleasure,” he said.

“That is wonderful. Come into the closet.”

He sat beside me.

“What are these papers?” he asked, and picked them up.

Gently I took them from him.

“They are merely for my signature.”

“Oh yes. I gathered that. You are giving your seal to certain documents, but what are the content of these papers?”

“I have discussed it all with Lord Melbourne. All I have to do is sign them.”

I gave him the blotting-paper.

“There, my dearest. I will sign and you shall do the blotting.”

I penned my signature and handed the papers to Albert. I could not understand his expression but I imagined there was a hint of frustration in it, and that he was holding his real feelings very much in check.

I W
AS BEGINNING
to feel unwell. I was sick in the mornings. Lehzen watched me with knowing eyes.

“Can it be?” she said. “So soon?”

The frightening possibility had occurred to me. I was pregnant. I believe I was never really a motherly person and the thought of childbearing did not bring me much joy. I thought more of the ordeal before me than the outcome. I liked children when they were of an age to talk and be amusing, but little babies had never really appealed to me.

Of course I had considered the possibility. When one is a queen there are hints that it is one's important duty to bear children. But it was a matter that I had shelved because I did not really want to think of it—not yet, at any rate.

I would never forget Louisa Lewis at Claremont who had made such a shrine there for Princess Charlotte; she had kept her room just as it had been when Charlotte was alive; and during those days I had spent at Claremont I had heard so much of Charlotte that she was a living person to me. She had been so merry, so much in love—and with a Coburg prince just as I was, dear Uncle Leopold himself—and then she had died in childbed.

So many people died in such circumstances. There were people at Court … people I had known. They had been young and healthy and then they had died.

It was rather frightening.

“We shall have to take care of you now,” said Lehzen. “What does the Prince say?”

“I haven't told him yet.”

“I am the first to know,” said Lehzen with a smile of satisfaction.

“Yes, Lehzen. You are the first.”

“When shall you tell the Prince?”

“As soon as I see him.”

“Men don't really understand these things.”

“I suppose it is natural that women should understand them more. Yes…as soon as I see him I shall tell him. We don't have any secrets from each other. Uncle Leopold wrote to me before my wedding and he said, ‘Tell each other everything. And if there is a quarrel settle it before nightfall. Never go to sleep with strife between you.' That is good advice, do you not agree, Lehzen?”

Lehzen said, “You must keep your hands and feet warm. You know how cold they get.”

“Not in the summer, my dear old Daisy.”

I knew she was going to start fussing again; and I had quite liked that.

When I told Albert he was really joyous. He could scarcely believe it had happened so soon. “When?” he asked.

“I don't know. By the end of the year. Perhaps the child will be a December baby.”

He took my hands and kissed them. Then he looked at me in amazement.

“You don't look very pleased about it,” he said.

“I believe that having a baby is not exactly a pleasurable experience.”

“Oh, but think of the joy to come, a little one… our own child… yours and mine.”

“Our child,” I said a little tartly, “but I shall be the one who has to bear it.” I was a little irritated for he seemed to have forgotten the danger to me.

“My dear little wife,” he said, kissing me, “thousands of women are having babies all over the world at this moment. You are not going to tell me that the Queen is afraid of doing what others do so naturally?”

I said rather shortly, trying to suppress a spurt of temper, “Lehzen, for all her rejoicing, was really very worried about me. I could see that she was, though naturally she tried not to show me.”

“So you have already told her?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Who else?”

“No one else…so far.”

“So she must be the first to know!”

“She happened to be there.”

“It would seem that Lehzen is always there.”

“Of course she is. She has always been and I hope she always will be.”

“We grow out of old servants.”

“Lehzen is not a servant. You will have to realize that, Albert.”

“I shall
have
to?”

“Yes, you will have to.”

He looked at me with that pained expression that was beginning to irritate me. It meant that he was holding in his temper, choosing his words with care—an accomplishment that was beyond me.

He said, “We shall have to make an announcement.”

“It is too early.”

“I do not think so. I believe the people will wish to know. The child will be the heir to the throne.”

“I must first ask Lord Melbourne.”

“My wish does not count then?”

“Oh, Albert, how can you say that!”

“Because Lehzen must be told first and Lord Melbourne must decide when we make the announcement. I see clearly that my wishes are of small account.”

Normally I would have flung my arms round his neck and told him that his wishes were of the greatest importance to me, but I felt sick and I knew that for the next months I should have much discomfort to bear.

I said coolly, “You forget my position, Albert. I am after all the Queen.”

“I know it well,” said Albert in a pained voice. “Please do not think that I am likely to forget.”

“Then that is well,” I said; and with that I got up and left him.

W
HEN I TOLD
Lord Melbourne he was deeply moved. I saw the tears in his eyes and I thought what a dear friend he was.

He said, “May God bless Your Majesty and the little one.”

I was able to tell him of my fears and he was most understanding.

“Very natural,” he said. “But you will have the best attention, and I am sure dear old Lehzen will do the required amount of cosseting; and your blooming health will carry you triumphantly through.”

It was just what I wanted to hear.

“No more galloping through Windsor Forest,” he said admonishingly, “and only the less vigorous of the dances.”

“Albert says I am too fond of food. Perhaps I should eat less.”

“Ah, there are two mouths to feed now. The Hanoverians were always great eaters. They needed food. They liked it. And they believed they should enjoy the pleasures of life—and to them food was one.”

I was laughing with him. It did me much good to listen to him.

“Do you think we should make an announcement?”

Lord Melbourne shook his head. “Much better to let the news leak out… and it will. The people will like that better. Is she? Is she not? It arouses their interest more than a bald statement.”

“Do you think they will be pleased?”

“Delighted. There is nothing they like more than babies. Weddings, coronations…yes. But babies… they are the top. And they go on being babies for a long time. ‘Ah,' say the people. ‘How charming. Our dear Queen is just like us!' ”

“
You
do not like babies very much, Lord Melbourne.”

“Not in the first stages, but I shall like this baby. It will be a royal baby, a Highness, and
your
baby, Ma'am.”

I felt so much more at ease talking to Lord Melbourne than I had to Albert.

Albert was very sorry to have upset me and was very kind next time I saw him. I told him that Lord Melbourne thought the news should leak out, and although he would have preferred an announcement, he did not mention the matter again.

We were very happy, and as everyone else was so pleased about the baby, I tried to forget the terrifying ordeal ahead of me and to rejoice with them.