Villain School (9 page)

“Where are we going, exactly?” Jezebel shouted above the roar of the wind.

“Doctor Do-Good's School for Superior Superheroes,” I said.

“But where's that?”

“Um … that way-ish,” I said, pointing vaguely toward the west.

“You have no idea, do you?” asked Jezebel.

“Not really.”

“So, what? We're just going to fly around in circles until the sun comes up?” Jezebel asked, looking nervously behind us, where the sky was already growing violet. Vampires don't exactly love sunrises.

“Hang on,” said Ileana. “Men just need to learn how to ask for directions.”

She cooed at the trees below us, and a flock of
sparrows all rose into the air to circle and twitter at her. One landed on her outstretched hand. There was a series of very unvillain-ish hoots and warbles. Then the little bird joined the others, and they returned to their trees.

“It's this way,” said the princess, taking the lead on Fafnir, with Wolf behind her.

“Okay, that was impressive,” I said. Jezebel elbowed me in the ribs, and I reminded myself not to compliment the princess while I was sitting this close to someone who could kill me with one bite.

In front of us, Wolf had lost his fear of flying and was now hanging his head to the side with his ears and tongue flapping in the wind. Little flecks of drool kept splatting me and Jez in the face.

In a little over an hour, we caught our first glimpse of Doctor Do-Good's School for Superior Superheroes. It was a silvery white castle that looked like it'd been carved out of the surrounding mountains. Yellow light spilled out from the many windows. Moonlight illuminated the landscape. A stone bridge arched over a river in front of the main entrance. Behind the castle, a waterfall rushed down the mountainside.

“Bleck!” said Jezebel. “I'm surprised they haven't built a theme park around it yet.”

We circled high above looking for a hidden place
where we could land. Spying a grassy spot under a cliff, the dragons spiraled down.

“So, what's the plan again?” asked Wolf Junior, sliding off the dragon to the ground.

“We have to find a way inside, find the Dread Master's crystal, use it to locate him, then make our escape,” I said, landing next to him. The villainesses also dismounted and joined us.

“Uh-huh,” said Wolf. “And how are we going to do that exactly?”

“No idea,” I said.

“Well, whatever we're doing, we need to hurry,” Jezebel said, her eyes darting toward the eastern horizon, where the sky was now a pinkish-yellow.

“Right,” I said. “Follow me.”

We made our way to the river that flowed past the castle. Beneath the bridge I spotted what I was looking for.

“A sewage drain? Not a chance!” said Jezebel.

“Your choice,” I said. “But it's either get wet or get fried.”

Just then the sun made its way over the horizon. The first beams hadn't reached our hiding place under the bridge, but it was only a matter of minutes.

“Me first!” said Jezebel. With a
pop
she turned into a bat and flew into the drain. The rest of us followed.

“Remind me again why we're doing this,” said Wolf Junior as we trudged through the stinky muck of the sewage tunnels. “I mean, no offense, Rune, but what do we care if Morgana or your dad is in charge at school?”

“Well,” said Ileana, “Morgana knows that
you
know her secrets—that she made a deal with a superhero to have Master Dreadthorn kidnapped. Do you really think she'll just let you live? Oh, sure, she might not do the deed outright, in front of the whole school. No, you'll be checking your sheep liver for poison, living in fear that around every corner some kind of ‘accident' might be waiting to happen—a tumble down slippery stairs, a loose stone falling at just the right moment, and
kapow!
”

Wolf actually jumped, then tucked his tail, whimpered, and said no more.

Ileana smiled and winked in my direction. Boy, just when I thought the princess was all rainbows and bubble gum, she'd say something like that and remind me she was a villain, too.

“I think I see a way out,” squeaked Jezebel ahead of us.

We all slogged along until we came to the place where Jez was hovering. Above us was a metal grate dripping with foul water. I assumed it must lead to one of the castle bathrooms.

“Oh, grate!” said Wolf with a snort. “Get it? Grate.”
None of us laughed. The grate was at least eight feet above the ground, and the holes were too small for Jez to fly through.

“How do we reach it?” Ileana asked.

“I thought you knew
all
the spells, Royal Pain,” said Jezebel.

“I've only been at school for a few weeks, Countess Dorkula. You guys have been going most of your lives. Don't
you
know a spell?”

“
What
did you call me?” Jezebel asked.

“C'mon, girls. Focus!” I said.

It was clear that none of us knew a spell for getting out of a sewer, so we'd have to do things the old-fashioned way. I climbed onto Wolf's back and reached up for the grate. I managed to hook my fingers through it and push up, sliding it noisily across the stone floor. Cautiously, I poked my head up through the opening.

“What do you see?” asked the princess.

“A toilet,” I said.

Jezebel flew through the hole. It opened inside a bathroom stall. I hoisted myself up, then reached down to help Wolf, with Ileana pushing him from behind.

“Get your tail out of my face!” she said.

Once Wolf was up, I reached down for Ileana, then slid the grate back in place.

“What now?” Jez whispered as she perched on my shoulder.

“Well, first we need to get out of this stall,” I said.

Ileana was standing on the toilet, and Wolf was crammed against me. My face was smashed into the stall door. It was getting seriously crowded. But we all froze when we heard voices. Wolf's ears cocked up and turned toward the sound. A group of boys had entered the bathroom.

“Why did we have to meet so early?” asked one boy. “Everyone's still asleep.” I could hear him yawning.

“We're meeting early
because
everyone's still asleep, numbskull,” said a voice I recognized. And by the way my allies were all staring at each other, I knew they recognized it, too: Dodge VonDoe, aka Deven Do-Good. I tried to see through the crack in the door, but the heroes were standing just outside my field of vision.

“So, what's going on, Deven?” another boy asked. “Where have you been all this time?”

“Rumor is you captured a Master villain!” said yet another boy.

“Oh, I captured one, all right. I delivered the prisoner to my father. The old man welcomed me back with open arms,” he said. “But what I didn't give him was this!”

There was a collective “Oooooh!”

“What is it, Deven?” asked one of the boys.

“It's a magic crystal ball that can tell you anything
you want to know. Like how to capture a Master villain, for instance.”

The boys all chuckled.

“Yep, that warlock villain didn't even see it coming. The crystal showed me that I could put a sleeping potion in his drink, and it even revealed to me when it would be safe to smuggle him out of the castle. Then, flying him here was easy.”

I could just imagine Deven flexing his arms and waggling his scarred eyebrow at his fellow heroes. What a jerk. To think I'd been sharing my room with a hero for the past few weeks! It made my skin crawl.

“So, it can show you
anything
?” a boy asked.

“Yep. How to attack an enemy. Where to find treasure. Or even how to take down a superhero like the great Doctor Do-Good,” Deven said.

Silence.

“Um, Dev. I don't know if that's such a good idea.” I recognized the voice of the yawning boy.

“What? Are you all suddenly a bunch of cowards now? I thought we agreed. We've talked about this before. And now, with this crystal, we can get rid of all our parents and their stuffy old boring rules, and we can use our superpowers to take over the world!”

I looked around at my allies, who were all nodding in agreement. Deven had a great idea! All that time
at villain school must've rubbed off on him. Still, we couldn't allow him to do it. If anybody was going to take over the world, it should be villains. Not heroes. Besides, we needed that crystal for our own purposes: my dad was still a prisoner. Sure, Master Dreadthorn wasn't really much of a dad, but given the choice between having him or Morgana in charge, I'd choose him. I guess.

My thoughts were interrupted when Deven started talking again.

“Look, this crystal can tell us exactly when and how to strike. Here's the plan: I'll take down my dad first. When he's imprisoned, we'll tell everyone he was kidnapped by villains. Together, we'll rally the young heroes and mount an attack on the villain school! Once they're out of the way, there will be no one to stop us! Agreed?”

There were a few murmurs of consent, but sleepy boy was still unsure.

“I don't know, Deven. I mean, doesn't imprisoning your dad and taking over the world sound a bit … unheroic?”

“Don't be a baby, Aero-boy,” said Deven. “This is for the greater good. We'll finally be able to use our superpowers for more than just dumb classes and tests. Now, all you have to do is keep quiet.”

“Yeah,” said another boy. “It's not like you can really help anyway, Aero.”

“Hey!” Aero-boy said. “I have a legitimate superpower!”

The other boys snickered. “Sure, levitating a foot off the ground?”

“I'd like to see you try it!” Aero-boy retaliated. The other boys ignored him.

“Omnibrain, you and Vortex will help me subdue my father.”

“How?” asked one of the boys. Whether it was Omnibrain or Vortex, I have no idea.

“The crystal has revealed to me my father's weakness,” said Deven.

There was a gasp from Aero-boy.

“But, but we're not supposed to reveal our weaknesses. Not to anybody!”

“That's why I used the crystal. Try to keep up, Aero.” It was pretty obvious Deven and his band didn't have much respect for poor Aero-boy.

“What is your dad's weakness, Deven? Lead?”

“Meteorites?”

“No! Doctor Do-Good can only be brought down by the awesome power of—Did you hear that?”

I could've sworn none of us had made a sound, but Deven was suddenly still and quiet. I could almost
picture him looking suspiciously toward the closed doors of the stalls. I hoped that Omnibrain's and Vortex's superpowers did not include X-ray vision. Then I heard the sound I'd been dreading. Deven was kicking open the bathroom stalls.

Jez dug her little clawed feet into my shoulder. Beside me, I heard Wolf panting in fear. Ileana's eyes met mine. We all knew it. We were about to be discovered.

There was a loud bang as Deven kicked open another stall door. Then another. And another. Finally, he stood in front of our stall. I could see the tips of his boots just beneath the door. Then one boot disappeared, and I knew he was lifting his foot to kick the door in. I braced myself for impact, wondering if we could possibly fight our way out of this, when suddenly I heard someone yell at the other end of the bathroom. The boots disappeared as Deven ran toward the sound.

I held out one hand, indicating that everyone should stand still. We all held our breath and listened. I peeked through the crack in the door, and this time I could see them.

“Invis-a-boy!” Deven shouted. There was a high-pitched squeal. “What did you hear?”

There was a scrawny kid cowering against the
wall. He wore a low-key gray-and-white costume, very different from Deven's bright blue-and-red tights. The kid looked young, a few years younger than Deven, like a Crook—or whatever heroes called their new kids.

“N-n-nothing, Deven. I was just, uh, sleeping.”

“Spying, you mean!”

“No! P-p-please. I won't tell anyone, Deven.”

I got the feeling that Deven was a bully, and this probably wasn't the first time Invis-a-boy had been cornered in the bathroom and roughed up by Do-Good's gang. Even if he
was
a superhero, I still felt kind of sorry for the kid.

“Oh, I know you won't tell anyone,” said Deven. “Because if you do, Vortex here will wipe Mommy and Daddy's little Kansas farm clean off the map!”

“Please, don't hurt my mom and dad!”

“Then keep your mouth shut, and get out of here!”

With a yelp, Invis-a-boy was gone. Then the other boys were laughing. I heard a door open and close. When the sound of their laughter faded, we all let out a sigh of relief.

We waited a few seconds more just to be sure they were gone, then we tumbled out of the cramped stall, stretching our muscles.

“I think Deven's at the wrong school,” said Wolf Junior.

“No kidding,” said Jezebel. “He makes all of us look like … like …”

“Heroes,” said Ileana.

“Shh! Don't say that. Don't even think it. We are
not
heroes,” I said. “We are infiltrating a superhero school to release a kidnapped Master villain. It doesn't get much worse than that.”

“Yeah, or we're fighting our enemies to save our school leader,” said Ileana.

“Quit that!” I said. “Now, come on. We have to follow them before they get too far away. Jez, can you fly ahead and see what Deven's up to?”

She nodded her little bat noggin. We opened the bathroom door and stepped cautiously into the hallway. Jez flew ahead. The hallway was lined with doors. From the mixed smells of sweat and cologne, I assumed this must be the boys' corridor.

“What are we going to do, Rune?” asked Ileana. “In a few minutes everyone's going to wake up, and this place will be crawling with superheroes.”