Villainess (11 page)

“It’s a sound diagnosis.”

My gaze flitted over Jonah’s features. He was smug with the thought that he’d come up with a solution. “You think you’re going to save me?” My nostrils flared as I tried to keep my breathing steady. “I don’t need saving, Doc. I’d rather die than let all the things I’ve done be for nothing.”

Jonah stood, leaning forward on his desk with his hands splayed out. “No one understands what you did. It was all lost in translation. You have people like the one who sent the painting who worships you and then the ones who are terrified of you. No one has made sense of the killings. No one understands.”

“That’s why I need you,” I growled. “You need to make them understand. If you try and claim that I’m out of touch with reality then all those people would have died for nothing. That’ll be on you, Doc. All those lives, on you.”

His jaw popped with tension as he fidgeted with his tie. “Then tell me. Tell me about those incidents—the ones that I’ve read about online but you haven’t uttered a word about. Tell me why you did it—all of it. Stop playing games with me. Do what you’ve obviously set out to do. Make me understand.”

I sauntered back to the couch, making myself comfortable. “Fine. I’ll tell you, and I
will
make you understand.”

Jonah

Anger and need pulsed through my system, burning me alive. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I did want Leila. It wasn’t just sexual attraction either. At least not anymore. There was some part of her, deep inside, that I sensed, a part of her that I wanted to cosset almost on a desperate level. I wanted to help her, heal her…and possess her.
I’m the one who’s fucking insane.

I was seeing things in her that didn’t really exist. I wanted her to have redeeming qualities—I wanted her to have been manipulated and coerced to do the horrible things that she’d done. I wanted to blame someone like Theo so I had an excuse for my feelings. My wrong—very, very wrong feelings for a patient. I wasn’t just losing control anymore…

I’d lost it.

My gaze slid over Leila’s body as she situated herself on the couch. How had she gotten to me and so quickly at that? She’d had me eating out of the palm of her hand from session one, I just hadn’t wanted to admit it.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle.
In this case, I wasn’t so sure though.

“So I guess I’ll just start then,” Leila mumbled, her lips twisting into a pout. It was unusual for someone like her to be so reluctant to speak about the things that they’d done. Most people in her situation were boastful and proud once they were caught. Wanting recognition of some sort was the reason they got caught in the first place most of the time. She wasn’t what I’d expected at all. That was a part of the problem. “You want me to start at the first major incident, or what?”

“Yes.” She was still trying to stall. “The incident at the mall would be fine.”

“Okaaay… Here goes…” She sighed, wringing her hands together. “Umm…” Her face drained of all color, her lower lip trembling. “Well—I—” She wrenched her body to the side and threw up. It was so unexpected that it took me a moment to react. “I don’t feel so good.” She curled into a ball on the couch and groaned.

I hurried to her side, careful to avoid the mess on the floor, and brushed her hair off of her sweaty face. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and sweat gathered on her upper lip and hairline.
Something’s not right.
She’d been fine before she’d tried to talk about the mall incident. But I’d have to think about that later, for now I had to make sure she was physically okay. “Leila, can you hear me?”

She muttered something unintelligible, her eyes fluttering.

I went to my desk and dialed the extension for Ella’s office. “Leila needs medical attention, now,” I said as soon as Ella answered. I hung up before she could respond.

A few minutes later, the door to my office swung open, Ella leading a procession of people. One of them, our onsite doctor, rushed to Leila’s side. “What happened?” he demanded.

“I’m not sure. She got sick out of the blue.”

“A little help here,” he called out, and Leila was subsequently loaded onto a stretcher. Everyone left my office just as quickly as they had arrived, all except Ella, of course.

Ella eyed me warily. “No clue what happened?”

“None.”

She grunted as she scrunched her nose up at the floor. “I’ll get someone in here to clean this up for you right away. You might as well take the rest of the day off since Leila is sick.”

I ran my hand over my head, the smell from the vomit finally registering causing my own gag reflex to react. I lifted my arm up to cover my nose before I ended up throwing up myself. “Yeah, all right.” I grabbed my notes from my desk and shoved them into my briefcase. “I’ll be working from home if you need me.” I left without so much as a backward glance at Ella. I didn’t have the patience to deal with her bullshit at the moment.

Leila’s files and my notes were spread out in front of me on my coffee table. I’d been through every shred of information I’d been given about her and there was nothing about anyone named Theo. In fact, the more I delved into things, the more glaring the lack of information became. I had her background, her parent’s backgrounds, but not much else. Even various internet searches turned up nothing. It was as if she had become a ghost when she’d become involved with Theo. Another curious aspect about her case was that no vigilante murders were mentioned. How was it possible that no one knew about any of the things she’d done before she’d gone big? The way she described things with Theo made it seem like they were sloppy. How had they never gotten caught?
Fuck. Maybe I should have walked away when Ella had given me the out. Now it’s too late. I’m in too deep.

Something was niggling at the back of my brain though. The way Leila didn’t want to talk about the mall incident and how she’d become abruptly sick when she’d attempted to.
But what is it?
I wouldn’t rest until I figured it all out. I would help Leila whether she liked it or not.

Leila

“I’m fine,” I grated, staring up at Matt’s concerned face. “You know I got cleared by the doctor. It was probably something bad I ate. No biggie. Now come here.” I wiggled my fingers at him in invitation.

Matt’s face pinched more. “Oh I want to, Leila, God knows I want to—but not tonight. I think you should rest.”

I ground my teeth together. “How do you think I wear myself out enough to sleep?” I ran my gaze up and down his body demonstratively.

“Just go to sleep, Leila.”

“Why did you even come at all then?”

Matt shifted from one foot to the other. “I wanted to check in on you.”

“Yeah. Great. Whatever. You can leave now.” I flopped over to face the wall. If Matt didn’t want to fuck me then I really didn’t want him around.

“Hey. Don’t be like that. You know I care about you.” I remained stoic as I continued to face the wall. “Fine, I’ll see you tomorrow, Leila.”

I ignored him, exhaling loudly once the door clicked shut. Dealing with Matt was getting tedious. I still enjoyed the pleasure he gave me between the sheets, but I was too much on edge for the rest. I was beginning to wonder if Matt actually thought we were in some kind of twisted relationship.
That’s all I need—a stage five clinger.

I rolled over, shoving my hands under my pillow. My fingertips touched something small, hard and square.
What the hell? I didn’t leave anything under my pillow.
I grabbed the object, my heart dropping into my stomach when I saw what it was. A box of cards, the queen of hearts tucked face out in the cellophane. I fell headlong into a memory.

“What are you doing?” I eyed Theo as he sat on the ground, cross-legged, playing solitaire.

“Exactly what it looks like.”

“I thought we were here to scout out—“

“We are,” he said, not letting me finish. “But we have some time and I felt like playing a game of cards.”

I scrunched my nose up. “So why not play on your phone?”

Theo’s gaze didn’t waver from his game. “Did you know that playing cards are always included in wilderness kits? It’s sometimes the only thing that keeps someone sane.”

“What are you talking about?”

Theo held up the queen of hearts, his gaze meeting mine. “This is you. You’re my queen of hearts. You wear your heart on your sleeve just like her.” He went back to the game, humming a song that broke into lyrics a moment later. “Playing with the queen of hearts, knowing it ain’t really smart, the joker ain’t the only fool, who’ll do anything for you.” He stopped abruptly, standing, and then fisted my hair. “That’s what you’re gonna do, baby, make them all fools for you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“But you will.”

I hurled the box of cards across the room. I didn’t understand how they’d gotten there or who would have known to put the queen of hearts for me to see. Unless…
No.
I’m exhausted. I probably did it and don’t remember. Yeah, that’s it.
I sat on the edge of my bed, sucking in deep shuddering breaths. I had no reason to freak out. It was a common occurrence to do weird things when sleep deprived and under emotional duress. Text book case, really. I didn’t have to have Jonah’s credentials to know that much.

But it didn’t matter, my adrenaline was pumping and my nerves were frazzled. I paced my room, my thoughts fragmented and without focus.

“That’s what you’re gonna do, baby, make them all fools for you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“But you will.”

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.” I rubbed my temples. “You’re dead. Leave me alone.” Thankfully Theo’s voice didn’t sound in my head again. His memories were mine to control, and I chose not to think about him.

I stomped across the room and picked up the discarded deck of cards, pulling them from the box. I dropped to the floor and spread them out to play a game of solitaire.
You have no power of me anymore, Theo. None.
Because you’re dead, and I killed you.