Violated (4 page)

Victor was, for all his faults, dependable. He was a good friend, an excellent manager, and a great workout partner. The idea of going to Tampa for a weekend might not have been very appealing—Derek hated traveling, and it was basically giving up his weekend to work—but there were worse things. And Victor would make sure Derek’s willing participation “for the good of the company” made it back to Jack. Overall the trip probably wouldn’t be that bad, even if he did have to room with a guy who could belch the entire alphabet.

R
USS
THUMPED
the block of frozen hamburgers down on the countertop. They were individually formed burgers from the supermarket, separated by paper squares, but the ice was too dense to pull them apart. The whole mass made a sound not unlike a brick hitting Formica. “Something tells me this isn’t going to thaw in time for dinner.”

Max cocked his head at him and raised an eyebrow as if to ask,
Why didn’t you think to take it out of the freezer earlier?

Because that would have required foresight, something Russ had never had much of. But too late to worry about it now. “I wonder if the microwave has a ‘defrost’ setting?” He’d had it for years, but the need for that particular function had never come up.

Fortunately it did. He put the meat brick on a plate full of paper towels, tossed a couple more towels over the top, and set it to rotate for about ten minutes. The moment he pressed Start, Max jumped up and ran to the side door. Russ wondered about the connection between these two seemingly unrelated events until he heard a knock on the door.

Of course. Max had just heard a visitor approaching. Russ washed his hands quickly and went to answer the door. He found his gorgeous next-door neighbor standing there, holding a bottle of wine and looking uncomfortable. Max charged out to greet Gracie, who quickly backed away to hide behind her master’s legs.

“Max!”

“It’s okay,” Derek said. “She’s fine.” Gracie didn’t appear to be in too much distress as Max sniffed her muzzle. She was watching him warily but wasn’t panicking.

“Hey, Derek. What’s up?”

Derek smiled but seemed uneasy. “Well… I guess I wanted to apologize for that little bit of drama we subjected you to yesterday. I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into Tim lately, but….” He seemed to run out of words, so he held out the bottle. “We had an extra bottle of wine, so I thought maybe you’d like one.”

“An
extra
bottle?”

Derek shrugged. “Okay, that sounds kind of dumb, doesn’t it? I just wanted to apologize, so I grabbed whatever I could find. Do you even
drink
wine? There wasn’t any beer left.”

Russ could smell a little of that beer on him, though he couldn’t tell if Derek was actually drunk or not. He decided it couldn’t hurt to let the guy in, so he stepped back from the door and held it open. “Is Tim coming over?”

“No,” Derek said as he stepped over the threshold. Gracie immediately followed him, and Max trailed after her. “We’re still fighting. He took off earlier. Probably back to Portsmouth.”

Russ was beginning to wonder if these guys were going to become his new problem children, showing up on his doorstep whenever they had a fight. But thinking the odd, uncomfortable dinner last night warranted an apology wasn’t out of line. He could give Derek—and Tim—the benefit of the doubt for now. He accepted the wine and smiled as he closed the door behind his guest.

“Have you had dinner?” he asked. “Max and I were about to grill some burgers.”

“Does Max flip a mean burger?”

“Mostly into his mouth. I have to keep an eye on him.”

A
FTER
THE
burgers thawed enough to at least separate into individual patties, Russ moved the party outside onto the back deck, where he had a gas grill. Unfortunately, the fireworks from their neighbors around the lake were getting more frequent. Since the town didn’t have its own, residents supplied them from their backyards, or in this case, their piers. Nothing too big—500-gram aerials and multi-shot aerials mostly, with a few small rockets thrown in. Nothing that made Russ feel he had to put on his stern, police officer face and knock on anyone’s door, at least. The firecrackers and bottle rockets he’d played with as a teenager were no longer permissible by state law, which was probably for the best. As it was, both dogs were feeling anxious about the nearby explosions. By the time Russ finished scraping the grill, Max and Gracie were panting heavily, their ears plastered to their heads.

“Should we put them back inside?” Derek asked, attempting to soothe Gracie by stroking her back.

Russ scrutinized the body language of the dogs. He remembered an incident from last summer, when a couple at an outdoor concert reported someone shooting off some of the little rockets available in convenience stores and frightening their dog. The poor thing had run out into the road and been struck by a car. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Both dogs whimpered at being separated from their owners—and the raw hamburger patties—so Russ left the back porch door open with just the screen shut. That way men and dogs could see and hear each other, but the dogs were safely enclosed. “We’ll be back inside as soon as the burgers are cooked,” he told Max. “You keep Gracie safe in the meantime.”

While he went back to the grill, Derek ducked inside. Apparently he figured out where Russ kept the wineglasses, because he returned with two glasses of wine. He handed one to Russ with the stern warning “Don’t drink and grill,” then dragged a deck chair close to the screen door and flopped down in it. There, he could chat with Russ while still sticking close to the dogs. Russ appreciated that. Little details like this set a man who
loved
his dog apart from a man who just
owned
his dog.

“So how do you like the new place?” Russ asked.

Derek took a sip of wine before replying, “I love it! I feel so much more relaxed out here than I do at the condo. At least when… you know… things aren’t so
tense
.” That odd phrasing made Russ smile, but he knew what Derek meant. Derek went on, “My dad and I used to spend time in a lake cabin kind of like it when I was a boy.”

“Where was that?”

“Up on Lake Ossipee,” Derek replied. “The cabin actually belonged to my dad’s friend Wally. We’d go up and spend the weekend with Wally—trout fishing, swimming, canoeing….” He took another sip of wine. “’Course, I was just a kid. It was years before I figured out why Mom never went up there with us. Good ol’ Dad was having himself an affair.”

Russ gave a startled laugh. “What? You mean….”

“Yep. Him and Wally. I never saw it, of course. They never kissed in front of me, or ran around naked, or anything. But there were little things—brief touches, looks they gave each other, cryptic comments. Things I pieced together after it all blew up and my mom divorced him.”

Russ busied himself flipping the burgers over. He wasn’t sure how to respond to a revelation like that, especially coming from someone he barely knew. “Have you ever… talked to your dad about it?”

“No. He died when I was a teenager.”

“Oh,” Russ said awkwardly. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Well, that’s what Larry told me, anyway. He was my mom’s second husband—a total dick. He said Dad died of AIDS. I believed him when I was young and stupid, but… I have to wonder now if he wasn’t just making it up to fuck with my head.”

Russ wrinkled his nose in disgust. “He’d do that to you?”

“Oh yeah,” Derek replied sourly. “He was a piece of work. He told me once if he ever found out I let anything go up my ass—even a woman’s finger, never mind a dick—he’d put a bullet in my brain. Good thing he died before I came out.” He snorted and took another sip before saying, “Jesus! Look at me! Showing up at your door whining about having a fight with Tim, then going on about my tragic childhood. Sorry, man.”

“No problem.” Truthfully, Russ was a little weirded out. It was kind of an intimate detail to drop in casual conversation when they barely knew each other.

“So… how’s
your
life treating you?”

“Not bad.” Russ flipped the burgers again, hoping he wasn’t overcooking them. They still looked a little bloody for his tastes. “My parents are both still alive down in Florida. My older sister lives in Keene. I’ll be seeing her next weekend.”

“Cool.”

“Mostly I just hang out here with Max.”

“Not dating anyone?”

Russ shook his head, wondering if he was imagining the spark of interest he saw flicker in Derek’s eyes. Was that embarrassment on his face as he quickly glanced away? Or guilt? “I’m pretty much a loner. Hopefully not the disturbing kind.”

Derek snickered, but he didn’t offer any reassurances on that point.

Russ realized he’d never made it clear he was gay. Not that it mattered, but for some reason he wanted Derek to know. So, he added, “Still lookin’ for the right guy, I guess.”

Derek nodded, though it was hard to gauge what he was thinking.

A firework exploded over the lake in bright gold with white sparkles, and Gracie pawed at the screen, whimpering. Derek leaned close and said in a soothing voice, “It’s okay, girl. We’ll come inside in just a minute. And we’ll bring burgers!”

Russ decided the burgers were cooked enough. He grabbed the plate and scooped them all onto it. Then he turned off the grill and announced, “The dog food’s done! Maybe they’ll let us have a little.”

I
CAN
’
T
believe I asked him if he was single!
Derek thought, wondering if he could have been any more obvious. True, it was a
fairly
innocuous question. One that would probably have come up eventually. But it would have been better just to let Russ mention it on his own at some point, rather than make it look like he was interested in the guy.

And that was the real problem. Derek found Russ attractive. He was handsome, built, and just seemed overall friendly and cool. Plus he loved dogs, which was a big plus for Derek. If he’d been single, he might have made a move by now. Nothing overt like groping Russ’s ass or asking him to bed, but a gentle touch here and there, a look—something to show his interest. As it was, he was relaxing a bit too much around Russ, practically unloading on him.
That story about Larry! Jesus!
He really needed to rein it in.

Fortunately Russ wasn’t making any moves. He was being a pleasant host and neighbor. That was all. Either he wasn’t interested—which was unflattering but good—or he had enough self-control not to hit on a man who was taken. Also good.

You’re engaged. To a man you love
.

Derek kept that thought firmly in his mind as they went inside and ate, both dogs sitting patiently near the table, watching their masters with wide, beseeching eyes. And he reminded himself again later, while they sat on the couch watching
Independence Day
—a movie they both agreed wasn’t very good, but they loved it anyway. With Gracie and Max somehow managing to both wedge themselves in between them, they were about as far as possible from cuddling or anything else that might get Derek in trouble. But it still felt disconcertingly cozy, the way he’d always pictured domestic life. Tim never allowed Gracie on the furniture. Dog hair was, he insisted, the bane of his existence.

It was both disappointing and a relief when the movie ended and Derek noticed it was almost midnight. “I guess I should go,” he said. “It’s past my bedtime.”

He nudged Gracie’s head off his lap so he could stand and stretch.

Russ was looking pretty sleepy himself. His eyelids were definitely drooping. He glanced over, as if surprised to find Derek still there, and then turned the TV off with the remote. “Sure, man. It was good to have you over.”

“Come on, Gracie.” The dog moaned in protest but slowly stood on the couch and stretched. “Sorry,” Derek told her, laughing. “You don’t have the option to sleep here all night.”

Russ smiled. “She’s welcome any time. If you ever need a sitter, let me know. As long I’m around, I’ll be happy to watch her.”

Gracie finally hopped down to the floor and padded over to the door. She looked back at Derek, wagging her tail.

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Max had Russ pinned to the couch with his massive head and forepaws, so Derek didn’t make him get up. He gave him a joking salute and said, “Thanks for the burgers. And for keeping me company when I was in a foul mood.”

“No problem. I hope the rest of your night goes better.”

R
USS
WATCHED
as Derek let himself out, glad Max had him pinned to the couch. He’d had a horrible moment when he knew he would have made a fool of himself by leaning in for a good-night kiss if he’d been standing anywhere near Derek. Or maybe a hug. Derek just seemed so vulnerable tonight, and it was really getting to him. Instead, he sat on the couch and just returned the little salute Derek gave him.

Once Derek was safely outside, Russ nudged Max until the brute finally moved his paws and head off his legs, grumbling about it. If Derek was vulnerable tonight, Russ reminded himself, it was because he’d had a fight with Tim—the man he loved. It was up to Tim to fix it. Not Russ.

Fuck my life
.

He got up and went outside on the deck to throw the cover on the grill, now that it was cool. Most of the lake residents had exhausted their fireworks stashes, but a few diehards were still at it. One six-armed red-and-green star exploded low in the sky. He watched it until it fizzled away, then turned and went back inside. He supposed he should be happy he’d had some company, and it hadn’t been just him and Max eating burgers together, like most holidays. Well, for Thanksgiving and Christmas Russ usually grabbed some turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy from the Boston Market in Manchester. Those holidays were worth breaking out the big guns for.