Violation (24 page)

“I thought you liked the beard.”

“I do but--”

“But what?”

“My hoo-hah was irritated when you went down on me. The friction felt good at the time but the next day I was red and raw.”

“I have no sympathy for you. My dick hurts every time I see you in the lower level cheering for him.”

“I cheer for you too. I go home with you.”

“You don’t spend the night.”

“Can I stay tonight?”

“You can move in.”

“One day I will.”

“You like to tease me.”

Serena rubbed her fingertips through my beard. Her nails scratched my skin and I felt like a puppy getting love from its master. I loved when she did that. “You have a really nice face.”

“I do?”

“Did you know that your left ear is bigger than your right ear?”

“Yes, I do know that.” I chuckled. She was the only woman that ever mentioned my abnormal ears. “Most people are distracted by my clear blue eyes and my mischievous smile to notice my Dumbo ears.”

“And your curly White man’s Afro.”

“You want me to cut my hair too?”

“No, I love to touch it. You never cut it during the playoffs. It’s cute how you’re not perfect. But you’re so damn handsome.”

“I am?”

“Everybody says it. Don’t be modest.”

“I don’t care about everybody. I care that you think I’m handsome in spite of my one oversized ear.”

“Well both of your ears are big but the one is like super-sized.”

“Cute.”

“I think it’s pretty cute.”

“You’re one to talk. Your breasts are getting huge and your ass is--” I stopped myself before the words came out. She gained weight and I didn’t care but I noticed.

Serena climbed off of me and I knew I had said the wrong thing. What the fuck was I thinking? I searched my brain for an apology that was sensitive and sincere. I didn’t even mean anything negative so I was still trying to craft the right words.

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

My mind flashed to her having sex with him and my stomach twisted in knots. Who is the father? “Have you had sex with Deshawn?”

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

“Truthfully?”

“It’s not his baby.”

“How do you know? You didn’t answer my question.”

“I haven’t had sex with him since you and I started seeing each other. I did oral just so he would leave me alone. It was one time.”

Oral sex? That felt just as terrible to hear. “Are you fucking kidding me? You sucked his dick?”

“It was one time. I didn’t want him inside me. I did it so he would leave me alone.” She looked repulsed when she said it but that didn’t make me feel better about it.

“I never cheated on you.”

“I didn’t want Deshawn anywhere near me. It was only that one time. It was when you and I were broken up. Noah.”

“What?”

“Please look at me. I’m sorry.”

My face found hers as I tried to believe her words and wipe away the hurt that they had caused me. I was placing blame when I put myself in this situation.

“This is crazy. I’m hurt you blew your own husband.”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell the truth.”

“One time?” I didn’t have a choice but to believe her.

“It was once before Christmas when we were broken up.”

“So you’re pregnant.”

“Yes.”

“And I’m supposed to believe I’m the father.”

“Deshawn had a vasectomy three years ago after the one woman had his baby. So you can believe whatever you want.”

“Really, a vasectomy? He never mentioned it.”

“It was his attempt at saving our marriage. But what good did it do. He had the nine-year-old I never knew about.”

“I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know what we’re doing here. I love you and I’m tired of being on the sidelines. I’m a starter.”

“I don’t have all the answers. It’s not like I planned to get pregnant.”

“How far along are you?”

“Four and a half months. I think conception happened New Year’s Eve.”

“So were you going to tell me about the baby?”

“Eventually, I didn’t plan for this. I didn’t have a plan.”

“Were you going to have an abortion?”

“No, I wasn’t. I told you, I don’t have a plan. I thought I had time to figure it all out.”

“I don’t have any kids. Why wouldn’t you want to make me a father? You know I love you. Why wouldn’t we raise a baby together?”

“Because we never discussed a real future. Our conversations take place in your bedroom while we’re naked. You love me and I love you but--”

“But what?”

“But were you trying to have a black baby? Your baby would be biracial. I don’t know how you feel about that.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Maybe you wanted your kids to be white and with a woman that wasn’t already married. You don’t have any kids. Maybe you wanted to be married. Maybe you wanted to have your kids in wedlock and not like this.”

“I want you. I want to marry you. It’s an insult to me if you believe I care about the race or color of my future children. I’ve been balling with black guys my entire life. If my son is black why would I care about that?”

“My thoughts are irrational. I know that.”

“I have been waiting patiently for your marriage to end. It’s over now. You’re carrying my baby. You have to make a decision. You have to choose. I’m going to raise my own kid.”

“I choose you. I will always choose you. You tell me how to leave him and I will do it.”

I didn’t have a plan. I said whatever came to mind. “Get a lawyer, divorce him. You can take half or nothing. I don’t care. Money is not an issue. I will marry you with no prenup. You know that right?”

“I need security but I was with Deshawn in high school when he had nothing. You had your money before me. We have to have a prenup. I thought I would be married forever. I want to divorce him but I’m afraid of failing at marriage a second time.”

“I’m not him. I believe in marriage and family. I’m not going to cheat on you.”

“You can’t say that. You have no idea what you will be in the future.”

“I’ve had a lot of women, enough to satisfy any lustful thoughts or urges. I want you. I want something real. We’re real. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

“Because I stayed with him too long. I don’t want to make any more mistakes.”

“Being with someone you’re in love with is never a mistake. Get a lawyer. The season is almost over.”

“I’m not going to be able to hide this pregnancy forever.”

“You should be okay for awhile right?”

“I just try to stay away from him.”

We were at basketball practice. Lance was dribbling the ball and talking shit. He was good for that. I was never much of a shit talker. My skills on the court did all the talking for me. I was the baddest White boy since Larry Bird. Well that’s what the commentators, sports reporters and fans said. Lance and I both saw Dee jogging over to us.

“You early,” Lance joked to our almost always tardy teammate.

“My wife is pregnant.” Dee blurted it out and halted Lance’s forthcoming shenanigans.

“What?” Lance knew better than to say congratulations.

“I am fuckin’- Wooh! I don’t know.” Dee placed his hands on his waist as he thought about something. I don’t know what. He was shaking his head from side to side. Clearly he was livid. “I noticed she was picking up weight. She was dressing differently. You know covered up and shit. She was dressed like she never dresses. Like I’m not stupid. She’s been pregnant two times before so I’m like what the fuck. I just knew I was wrong.”

Lance briefly glanced over at me and I refused to give him any confirmation. I held my eyes downcast but that was all the confirmation he needed.

“Look fellas, I don’t advertise this but I got a vasectomy a few years ago. So there is no way in hell I’m the father. Serena fucked some other motherfucka.”

“She might just be getting fat.” Lance offered a feasible explanation. “My wife, Tiff picked up a few pounds when she turned thirty-five.” I appreciated Lance’s attempt to redirect this conversation.

“Bro’h, she’s pregnant. I forced her to take a pregnancy test.”

“How do you force someone to take a pregnancy test?” Lance asked what I was thinking. My mouth wasn’t working at the moment.

“I trapped her cheating hoe-ass in the bathroom. I wouldn’t let her leave until she peed on the fucking stick. I stood in front of that door for an hour. She was going to take that motherfuckin’ test or die in that bathroom of starvation. The test was positive. I can’t believe she cheated on me. I mean damn. I can’t believe she got knocked up by some bitch-ass motherfucka. Who is so fuckin’ bold, that they would fuck my wife?”

“Damn, I’m sorry. That’s fucked up.” Lance added because it was something we both would say or should say. But I was that bitch-ass motherfucker so I was tongue-tied.

“Damn.” All I could say. Finally, my mouth worked.

“I asked this bitch over and over, who he is. She wouldn’t tell me.”

“What happened?” Lance asked.

“I called her a nasty slut and left the house. I drove around and I tried to figure out who this dude was. I could not come up with anybody. She is one sneaky bitch. I checked the video surveillance at the house but I didn’t see anything. He doesn’t work for me. She must be seeing this dude at his place or hotels or some shit.”

“Damn man, that’s fucked up,” Lance added.

“I can’t go home. I wanted to choke the shit out of her ass. I’m going to catch a case fucking with her. I’m too shocked to even be embarrassed by this fucked up shit. Don’t tell anybody.”

He didn’t have to tell us that. We would never tell each other’s secrets. I stood there and searched for the proper words that would cast suspicion off of me. “Dee, let’s just play ball.”

“Right man, I need to take my mind off this shit. Let me do what I do best.” Dee held out his hands for Lance to toss him the ball. Lance tossed the ball over to him. This is not going good. The pregnancy cat is out the bag.

***

I was nervous during practice and my performance suffered because of it. Coach Tucker yelled at me multiple times. All I could think about was getting to the locker room and texting Serena. When I finally got the chance to get to my phone, I saw she hadn’t texted me at all. I sent her a quick text.

[D made you take a test?]

She didn’t respond so I texted again. [Where are you?]

I had to go out with Dee and Lance after practice. It would have been odd if I didn’t go out with them after Dee revealed his marital woes. We were always each other’s rock. Lance made sure he shot me my fair share of disapproving glances.

We hit the showers. All I could think about was Serena. I was getting changed into my streets clothes when my cell buzzed. Finally, I got a text from her.

[Yes he made me take a test. I didn’t tell him shit. Fuck him. CYL]

Some of our teammates bailed out early while a few of us were still pulling ourselves together. Dee’s locker was across from mine. I glanced over at him. His back was to me. I rummaged through my duffel.

Dee slammed his locker shut. The aggressive sound caught my attention. He looked over at me. “You have been single for a long time.”

“Yeah so, you know I’m concentrating on basketball.” I laced my shoes and tied them.

“All these years, you have never gone this long without a steady girlfriend. You use to always have someone in your bed.”

“That’s not me.” I looked over at Lance. He was only a few feet away talking to Jaden.

“No, it is you. You always play better when you’re getting laid. This is the best season you’ve ever had in your career.”

“Yeah so?” I shrugged and stood. I closed my locker shut.

“You are seeing someone.” Dee inferred as he bridged the gap between us.

“Have you seen me with anyone?”

“Na’aw, because you’ve been hiding her.”

“Hiding her, right,” I chuckled.

“Why would you hide a bitch from me?”

“I’m not.”

“You’re cell is going off all the time.”

I looked down at my cell phone in my hand. “Everyone’s cell goes off. What are you talking about?”

“You don’t hang out with me or the fellas anymore.”

“I hang at home.”

“I’m thinking and I’m thinking. I tried to figure out who the fuck could get to my wife. I knew it had to be somebody that was close to her. Serena would never just fuck some random guy. It would have to be somebody that she trusted, someone that has access to her. Someone who could compete with me.”

His eyes were burning me with his critical observation. Lance was standing close by and he noticed us in the thick of things.