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Authors: Melody Carlson

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19

RHIANNON HEADED FOR THE CD PLAYER,
which was cranked up so high that DJ thought she could feel the wood floor shaking, or maybe that was the dancers. DJ, backed by Conner and Bradford, and all armed with cell phones, confronted Eliza and Harry in the middle of the dance floor.

DJ nodded to Rhiannon and suddenly the music stopped.

“The party is over!” DJ shouted.

“That's right!” yelled Conner.

“You have ten minutes to clear this place out!” shouted Bradford.

“The police will be here shortly!” DJ looked out the front window for dramatic effect.

Fortunately, this last bit of news seemed to get the partiers' attention.

“And don't break anything on your way out!” warned Rhiannon.

“Security cameras are running!” added Bradford.

“And just in case, license plate numbers will be taken,” added DJ.

Amazingly, almost the whole house was cleared out in less than two minutes.

“What do you guys think you're doing?” demanded Taylor.

“Calling the police,” said DJ calmly.

“You've lost your freaking mind,” said Seth.

“You guys are totally spoiling everything,” said Eliza.

“No!” DJ stared at Taylor and Eliza now. “You guys are the ones spoiling everything! We are totally serious; we will be calling the police if every ounce of booze isn't out of here in three minutes.”

“Or we can save you the trouble and pour it down the drain,” said Conner as he picked up a bottle of vodka and headed for the kitchen.

Harry made a dash to the bar and began gathering his bottles and loading them back into the cardboard box. “The party's moving to my place,” he called as he headed for the door. “Let's get away from these losers.”

“We'll be there in a minute,” called Eliza as she ran to get her parka.

“You're not going anywhere until this place is cleaned up,” called DJ.

“That's right,” said Bradford, stopping Taylor in her tracks.

“Otherwise, you're
going down
.” DJ couldn't help but chuckle at this line, and suddenly the Fearsome Foursome were all laughing.

“Don't think we don't mean it,” said Rhiannon, stifling laughter.

“I think you guys have totally lost it.” Eliza rolled her eyes.

“I think they've just saved you from getting into serious trouble,” said Kriti in a quiet voice. She'd been on the sidelines watching it all unfold.

“Just to show we're good sports, we'll help you clean up,” said Rhiannon. “So let's get moving.”

“Oh, I don't know,” said Bradford reluctantly. “I might not be
that
good of a sport.”

“Come on,” urged DJ. “There's a lot of work to be done.”

Casey had been pretty quiet through the whole confrontation, and DJ wasn't sure what she was thinking, but suddenly she seemed to switch sides. “Come on,” Casey said to Taylor and Eliza. “We better get to work. This place really is a mess. We don't want the general and Mrs. Carter to come home to this.”

Although Taylor and Eliza complained loudly, they did start to clean things up. Even Kriti helped out, and DJ thought she seemed relieved by this turn of events.

“So?” DJ stopped Kriti from sweeping the kitchen floor. “You still say we can only control ourselves?”

Kriti leaned on the broom to consider this. “Sometimes … I think it takes a community to bring about change.”

“Or a village to raise an idiot?”

Kriti smiled. “Yes. Something like that.”

“Wow, this place was
really
a mess,” said Casey as she hauled another full garbage bag through the kitchen and toward the back door. Conner was letting them put the trash in his pickup for now. He would find a place to dump it tomorrow.

“Can you imagine how it would've looked if the party had kept on going?” asked DJ as she wiped down a granite countertop.

Eliza closed the door of the full dishwasher, just one of several loads since the partiers had helped themselves to the general's glassware. “I have to admit that it did get out of hand,” she said as she turned on the appliance.

“Ya think?” DJ stared at Eliza in disbelief.

“Yes … I suppose we should thank you for putting an end to it.”

“She didn't
end
anything,” said Taylor. “The party is still going strong at Harry's place.”

“You mean the pigsty,” said Conner with disgust.

“Pigsty or not, I'm heading over there right now.” Taylor pulled on her parka. “You coming, Eliza?”

“Not tonight,” said Eliza. “I've got a headache.”

“Aw, too bad for you.” Taylor zipped her jacket and looked around the kitchen. “Looks like you guys have the cleaning under control here. I'm sure you won't miss me.”

“If you go over to Harry's tonight, you better not expect to find the back door unlocked when you come back,” threatened DJ.

“Yeah, whatever.” Taylor looked over at Casey now. “You coming, Casey?”

“I … uh …” Casey bit her lower lip.

“I mean what I said, Casey.” DJ put as much authority as she could muster into her voice. “That key will NOT be under the bear tonight.”

“Come on, Casey,” urged Taylor. “Don't be stuck here cleaning house with a bunch of loser party poopers. Let's go have some fun, girlfriend.”

“I think I'll pass,” said Casey. “I'm actually kind of tired anyway.”

Taylor scowled at her. “Yeah, right.”

DJ locked eyes with Taylor. “That door will be locked, Taylor. No key. Understood?” Taylor just shrugged. “Like I care.” Then she grinned. “Night-night, party poopers.”

The house was pretty much back to order by one in the morning. By that time, Eliza seemed genuinely sorry.

“You know, I'm sorry about everything,” she told DJ as they headed upstairs. The guys were gone now, and all the doors securely locked. “I just didn't think the party would get out of hand like that. Harry was surprised too. He hadn't expected crashers … but then what do you do?”

DJ paused to look into Eliza's face. “Can you imagine what this place might've looked like in the morning if it had gone on like that? Or what the general would've said when he saw his house totally trashed? Or how your parents would've felt if the cops had come out and you'd been arrested?”

“Yeah, it really was a stupid idea. I can't believe I let Taylor talk me into it.”

DJ felt a strange sliver of relief. “So, it really was Taylor's idea?”

“Oh, yeah. She planned the whole thing. I'll admit it sounded pretty good at first—a Viva Vermont party to celebrate our last night up here. And, naturally, Harry loved the idea.”

“Yeah, especially since he wasn't the real host. If things got broken or the place got busted—what difference would it make to Harry? He could duck out the back door, but you and Taylor and Casey would be the ones called on the carpet, Eliza. You'd be held responsible.”

“Guess I didn't really think of that.”

They paused in the hallway between the bedrooms, and Eliza put a hand on DJ's shoulder. “You know Taylor can be really convincing. I should know better than to get pulled into her schemes, but she has this way—you know—when she turns on the charm, and it starts to sound so good.”

“I know.”

“But sometimes she scares me too.”

DJ nodded. “Yeah, she scares me too—but mostly for her own welfare. Sometimes I think she's going to totally self-destruct.”

“I guess there's not much we can do about that.” Then Eliza said goodnight and went into her room.

But DJ just stood there in the darkened hallway. Okay, as angry as she felt toward Taylor, she was worried too. Taylor was a mess. And she deserved to get into trouble. But what if that foolish girl came back here wasted in the wee hours of the morning and couldn't get into the house? It was probably about twenty degrees out there at night.

DJ trudged back down the stairs again. She unlocked the back door, tucked the key under the bear, locked the door again, and then went to bed exhausted.

When DJ woke up the next morning, Taylor was sleeping snugly in her bunk. Well, it figured. Still, it was better than finding the girl's frozen body on the back porch. Hopefully, now that DJ had stood up to her the way she had last night, it would be easier to stand up to her again—and perhaps even go to her grandmother if Taylor didn't straighten up.

All the girls except Taylor, who was probably hung over, got in a lot of good rides on Monday. The snow was perfect, the sky was blue, and everyone was in good spirits. The general and Grandmother made it back home just before noon—also in good spirits. By three o'clock, they had loaded up the motor home and were ready to roll.

“Did you girls have a good time?” asked the general as he started the big diesel engine.

They all chimed in saying that it had been great, thanking him for inviting them up and chauffeuring them around in his fancy rig. Naturally, no mention had been made of last night's near fiasco. Not that DJ had decided yet whether or not to tell her grandmother.

“Maybe we can do this again,” General Harding called out as he pulled onto the highway. “How about Thanksgiving, Katherine?”

DJ let out a low groan and didn't hear her grandmother's response. It was a generous offer, but right now the last thing she wanted to do was to come up here with the Carter House girls. Or at least some of them. Not unless things changed.

Taylor was already asleep on the big bed in the back, with Eliza and Casey on either side of her. Just like none of last night had ever happened. Meanwhile, Kriti, Rhiannon, and DJ played cards at the dining room table, watching the scenery pass by them.

“Really,” said Rhiannon, “It wasn't that bad, was it, DJ?”

Suddenly, DJ remembered how they'd sung praise songs on the mountain on Sunday and smiled. “No, it was actually pretty great.”

A few hours later, they were rolling into town. By this time, all six of the girls were packed into the general's bedroom, visiting and actually getting along again—for the first time in days.

“Hey, my phone is finally working,” said Rhiannon. And so they were all checking their phones.

“Any more hate mail?” asked Casey as she closed her own phone.

DJ considered this. “Come to think of it, I haven't had a mean text message since Saturday. Do you think she gave up on me?”

“Maybe so.”

DJ remembered the handshake at the swim meet and how she and Haley had actually exchanged some semi-friendly words.

“Maybe Haley has finally decided to move on,” said Casey.

“Although I do have one missed call.” DJ pushed her caller ID. “Oh, it's just Conner.” She paused to listen.

“DJ!” he said in an urgent tone that almost didn't sound like him. “I just got back in town—it's about four o'clock now—I'm at the hospital—and I don't know how to tell you this, but it's Haley. She's, uh, she's in critical condition—she—she tried to kill herself. Call me when you get this. Or if it's not too late, come by the hospital. She's in the critical care unit. I really need you here.”

“Oh no!” DJ shook her head and then actually replayed the message to be sure she'd heard it correctly.

“What's wrong?” asked Casey.

DJ felt like her head was spinning, like she needed to grab onto something and hold on tight before she fell sideways. “Oh no!” she cried.

“What is it?” said Rhiannon.

“What's going on, DJ?” demanded Eliza.

“It's—it's Haley—”

“Is she threatening you again?” asked Taylor.

DJ dumbly shook her head.

“What is it then?” demanded Casey.

“Yeah,” said Taylor. “You've got us all in suspense now. Out with it!”

DJ swallowed hard, still trying to get her bearings. “It's Haley … she's in the hospital … critical condition … she … she tried to kill herself.”

Instantly, they were all pressing her for details. “When? How? Where? Why?”

“I don't know.” DJ just shook her head. “But I have a strong feeling that it's because of me. Conner told me to come to the hospital.” And now tears began to flow. The idea of Haley—suicide—what if she hadn't made it? It was all too much.

The girls all gathered around her now, holding her as she cried, telling her it was going to be okay, that Haley was probably just fine. But DJ didn't think so. She'd heard the desperate tone of Conner's voice—like he was afraid. And when she tried his number, it went straight to voicemail. She knew that wasn't good. Deep inside of her, she knew that this was serious. Very serious. And she knew that it had a lot to do with her. Oh, what if Haley was dead?

20

THE GENERAL DROPPED DJ OFF
at the hospital. Even Grandmother seemed concerned. “You call and let us know how your friend is,” she said.

As DJ rode the elevator up to CCU, she tried not to think about the fact that Haley did not consider DJ a friend—or that Haley probably hated DJ more than anyone on the planet. Or that DJ was probably the main reason behind this horrible tragedy.

In some ways, it seemed crazy to even show up here, but on the other hand, Conner had begged her to come. If nothing else, she could comfort him. Still, as she walked down the hall she felt unsure. What if Haley's family knew about DJ? What if Bethany or Amy were here? What would DJ say?

“I tried to call you,” she told Conner when she located him in the waiting area outside of CCU. He got up quickly to meet her. She couldn't help but notice Bethany and Amy, both glaring at her, as well as an older couple who looked extremely sad. DJ knew they had to be Haley's parents. She avoided their eyes. “Is Haley—I mean, is she still …”

“She's still in critical condition … sleeping.”

DJ shot up a silent thank-you prayer.

“Let's go over there to talk.” Conner pointed to a couple of chairs down the hall. But even as they walked, DJ could feel them all looking at her, as if their eyes were burning holes in her back. Of course, they'd blame her. Why wouldn't they?

“This is all my fault, isn't it?” she said as they sat down.

“No … not really. I mean, yes, in a weird way, I suppose it seems that way. Haley has blamed you for everything that's gone wrong lately. Not that it makes sense. But you know about that.”

“Has she spoken to you?” asked DJ.

“Just barely. Mostly she just sleeps.”

“Do you think she'll be okay?”

Conner sighed and shook his head. “I don't know. The doctors can't really say yet.”

“What happened? How did she do it? When?”

“Just last night. She overdosed on aspirin—”

“On aspirin?”

“That's right.”

DJ considered this. “Aspirin? That doesn't sound too serious.”

“That's what I thought too … at first anyway.” Then he explained how a lot of people assume that aspirin is no big deal. “But the truth is it's highly toxic when you take a large dose. I overheard some nurses talking about it. It sounds like they see this occasionally—like a person can write a suicide note and take an overdose of aspirin for attention, without realizing how extremely lethal it really is.”

“So they don't really want to die?” DJ was trying to grasp this.

“No, it's more like a way to get attention, you know, a really sad cry for help.”

“Do you think that's what Haley did?”

“That's what her mom told me.”

“Oh … that is so sad.”

“Yeah …” Conner just shook his head. DJ could tell that he felt as responsible as she did.

“But she made it to the hospital,” said DJ. “Isn't there a way to treat this—I mean, whatever it is?”

“They pumped her stomach late last night … but the aspirin had already gotten into her system. It had begun to damage her kidneys and liver.”

“Oh no …”

“She may not recover. Haley's dad told me that aspirin poisoning can be a slow and painful death.”

“Oh …” Now DJ was crying again. “I just feel … like … like this is my fault.”

“It's not your fault, DJ. I mean, not directly. You're involved, yes, just like I'm involved. But you need to realize that we didn't cause this. It was Haley's choice, not ours.”

“I know her friends already hate me, but her parents must hate me too.”

“No, it's not like that. I've talked to them, and they sort of understand what caused this. Oh, sure, they're in shock and they're grieving. But they were fully aware of Haley's OCD, and they knew she'd been acting differently lately.”

“Apparently she's the one who's been texting me.”

“I'm not surprised.”

“Casey saw her at school.”

“And there's more to tell you, DJ.”

“More?”

“Yeah … I'd rather you hear it from me.”

“Okay …”

“Well, remember Dirk? He's a friend of Garrison's. He was up at Ashton Peak and—”

“Oh, yeah, yeah—the short blond guy. I remember him.”

“It seems that he and Amy had just started dating … and he called her from up there, and they were just talking, you know, and he told Amy the hot rumor about you and me—”

“That we slept together?”

Conner nodded solemnly.

“But it's a lie, Conner. We both know that. Yeah, we shared a bed, but that was it. Why does everyone act like that?”

“We know it's a lie, DJ, but Amy believed Dirk. And, of course, she told Haley. Later that same night, well, Haley did this.”

“I feel kind of sick,” said DJ suddenly.

“I know—”

“No, I mean for real.” She shot off toward a bathroom across the hall, went straight for a stall, and waited to throw up. Her hands and knees were shaking, and her head was hot, but she felt cold all over. Still, she didn't throw up. After a few minutes, she emerged from the stall, went to the sink, and splashed cold water on her face—just leaning over and splashing for a long time—wishing she could wash this whole thing away.

“Are you okay?” asked a woman's concerned voice.

DJ looked up to see Haley's mother—she was certain of it. The woman held out some paper towels. DJ nodded, thanked her, then dried her face.

“This is so sad,” said DJ.

The woman nodded. “I'm Mrs. Callahan.”

“I know.” DJ threw the towels away. “I'm so, so sorry … about Haley.”

“Thank you.”

Now DJ didn't know what more to say. Really, what did you say to the parent of a dying child?

“I saw you swim on Friday, DJ. You did very well.” DJ frowned. “Yeah … but I beat Haley.”

“I watched you when you went to Haley … how you shook her hand.”

“Yeah, but …”

“But Haley also thinks you stole her boyfriend.”

DJ nodded.

“Conner has explained it all to me.”

“Everything?”

“Yes. Even your unfortunate night in Everett Falls.”

“We didn't do anything, honest. I'm a Christian. I don't do that—”

“Conner told us that too.”

“I'm just so worried about Haley.” DJ felt tears coming again. She grabbed a tissue to blot them. “I wish there was something I could do. I just feel so bad …”

“Well, you said you're a Christian, DJ. Pray for her.”

“I have been praying. Even before this whole thing happened. I'd been praying and hoping that we could be friends again.”

“Just for the record, Haley actually admires you a lot.”

“She admires me?”

“Well, she probably hates you too, but I'm sure you know that.”

DJ felt slightly confused now. What was this woman really saying?

“It's just that she'd talked about you to me, DJ. From what she'd told me, I had assumed you were good friends. But then Haley is a master at hiding her feelings. She's learned to cover her obsessions. I knew she'd been acting oddly. I suppose I should've put two and two together when she was praising a girl who was both her competition in the pool as well as with her ex-boyfriend.”

“But Conner and I are
just
friends. We've tried to tell everyone—”

“That's not really the point, DJ. For Haley it's all about perception. Sometimes she sees things differently than the rest of us. She takes things harder, puts more pressure on herself.”

“Conner told me about that.”

“But I thought she was fine. She seemed to have made a good adjustment to moving back to town; she seemed happy to be back on swim team and making new friends. I suppose I sort of let my guard down.” Now Mrs. Callahan was starting to cry.

DJ grabbed a tissue and handed it to her. “But you can't blame yourself.”

She blotted her eyes and nodded, and DJ just stood there without the vaguest idea of what to do. This was all so sad … painfully sad. Why had Haley done this?

“I hope I didn't say too much, DJ.”

“No, not at all.”

“I better go check on Haley now.”

DJ nodded. “I really meant it. I'll keep praying for her.”

“Maybe … if she feels up to it … maybe you could talk to her. I actually think that would help her get better.”

DJ frowned. She wasn't so sure. Still, maybe Haley's mom knew best. “Okay … if you really think it's a good idea.”

Mrs. Callahan nodded, blew her nose, and left. DJ took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Feeling slightly more steady, she went out to find Conner.

“Everything okay in there?” he asked with concern.

“Haley's mom is really nice.”

“I know.”

“Let's call everyone we know to pray for Haley.”

“I've already called the church.”

“And I told the girls.”

“Maybe we should go and pray too.”

So they went to the chapel, and, kneeling down up at the front, they both bowed their heads and silently prayed.

Two days passed without much of a change in Haley's condition. During this time she mostly slept, although Conner said he'd had a short conversation with her on Tuesday night. But, like she'd promised Mrs. Callahan, DJ stopped by the hospital to check on Haley, and she continued to pray for her. Even if Haley didn't respond, DJ had decided to stick it out. Sometimes she'd have to lurk in the hallway, waiting for Bethany or Amy or Haley's parents to end their visits. Then DJ would just stand by Haley's bed and simply talk to her. She told her how sorry she was for how things had gone and how she wanted Haley to get better and how she was praying and how she hoped they could be friends again. Sometimes it felt crazy and weird and generally hopeless, but DJ didn't want to give up.

By Friday, it started to look better for Haley. The prognosis had gotten more hopeful, and some of Haley's lab tests were improving. More importantly, Haley had been awake for most of the day. Her mother left DJ a voicemail message asking her to stop by to see Haley. Suddenly, DJ wasn't so sure. It was one thing to talk to an unconscious Haley—what would she say to her if she was awake?

Haley's skin looked a little less sallow. Her eyes, although they still had dark shadows beneath them, seemed a bit less sunken … though they looked somewhat lifeless. For a moment, DJ almost turned back. But when Haley saw DJ approaching, she almost seemed to brighten.

“Hey, DJ …” Haley spoke softly.

“Hey …” DJ smiled and moved closer to Haley's bed. By now she was fairly used to all the tubes and machines connected to Haley. “How's it going?”

“Better, I guess …” Haley gave her sad little smile.

DJ wasn't sure what to say. “I've been by to see you, but you were always sleeping.”

“That's what Mom said.”

“But I've been praying for you a lot.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean, I prayed for you before all this happened too. I guess I've been worried about you for a while, Haley.”

“I'm surprised you don't hate me.”

“No.” DJ shook her head. “Of course not.”

“But you know I was the one sending you those stupid hate messages?”

DJ waved her hand. “Hey, that's all over with now.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorry too.” DJ took in a long breath. “And I'm not sure that it matters, but Conner and I really are just friends. That thing about us having sex is totally bogus. I mean, if you were worried …”

“I know. Conner told me about it.”

“If I'd known … well, you know … that it was going to go like this … well, I wouldn't have even gotten involved with him again. Even just as friends. I mean, it really did seem too soon. I knew you were hurting and …”

“Look, DJ, it's my fault that I'm here.” Haley's voice sounded a little stronger now, like she actually believed this. “I realize that I have to take responsibility for that.”

“Yeah …”

“And the truth is this whole thing is pretty humiliating.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, it seemed like a great idea at first … but it's not like I really thought it out too well. Look at everything I've put everyone, including myself, through. Pretty pathetic … and embarrassing.”

“I guess I get that.”

“The thing is I didn't really, truly want to die, not even when I did it. I mean, I did feel kind of hopeless and everything. Somehow, chugging down a bottle of aspirin, well, it seemed like an answer at the time.”

“Oh …”

“I sort of thought that it was just aspirin, like you know—no big deal.”

“But it is a big deal. A huge deal. I mean, you could be dead.”

“I realize that now. Anyway, at one point, after I'd been in the hospital a couple of days and I was feeling really, really sick, I actually did want to die. Just to get it over with—for everyone's sake.”

DJ frowned and put her hand on Haley's arm. “But do you still feel like that?”

“No. I want to live now.”

“Oh … good.” DJ smiled. “I want you to live too.”

“I obviously still have a lot of stuff to figure out … and things I need to deal with. But I'm not ready to give up.”

“Yeah … life is hard … I actually know that from experience. I mean, stuff happens … stuff we can't control.” Suddenly, DJ began telling Haley about her mom's death and her dad's rejection. It wasn't anything she'd planned to share, but somehow it all just spilled out.

“I had no idea.” Haley sighed. “I thought you had this perfectly wonderful life. I mean, hey, you're a Carter House girl.”

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