Wait for the Wind (3 page)

When her father had hit and belittled her, she’d come here. It hadn’t been his fault, not really–at least that’s what he told her. How was a hard drinking sailor supposed to raise a little girl alone? So he’d said. She’d been so young when her mother died, couldn’t remember her clearly, but her face was the one she saw every day in the mirror. Kate had been four when cancer had taken her mother away. She had wanted to be a doctor because of it. Now she was, but at what cost? Had Ryan been right to blame her all these years? Had her desire to heal others taken the life of their unborn child? No. She refused to believe it. Her father had killed her baby. She rested her chin on her up-drawn knees and looked out over the water. Waves washed over the rocks onto the sand and rippled out again. Time was catching up to her. She’d have to go back soon.

For days after the storm that took Liv’s father, she and Liv had come here to search the horizon for any sign he might be alive. Liv had been convinced if they watched long enough, someone would find some trace of him. They never had, of course. Her father was supposed to have been on the same boat, but he’d passed out drunk the night before. When he didn’t show, Michael had taken up the slack. Mick should have died, not Liv’s father.

Kate had only shared this special place with one other.
Why did you have to come back, Ryan, and complicate things? Weren’t you having the time of your life without us?
He’d cut her to ribbons with his indifference. She’d been prepared for the anger, the heat of hatred. She could have dealt with that and let the hurt go for her daughter, but his silence, his casual carelessness, was worse than a fist to the face. She needed his help, but how could she ask for it now? How could she not?
I can’t do this on my own.

She came here to grieve and remember. One of her children had died thirteen years ago today. How was it she and Ryan couldn’t even grieve together over that baby? Why had she had to see him today after so long apart and be reminded? It would have been easier if he’d hated her, but she saw he no longer cared either way. Maybe he never had. God, she wished she could hate him. She buried her face in her knees and sobbed.

* * * *

He’d meant to go back to his mother’s, borrow her car since he’d yet to replace the one he’d sold, and drive to the pub to visit a moment with Skye. Liv appeared well taken care of and completely lost in love. No. Not lost, found. She and Jack seemed so happy together. He was thankful she had someone special. Kate had loved him once, or at least Ryan believed she had.

She’d come to him in the middle of the night, a stricken look on her face. They’d argued and she’d yelled at him.
There is no baby, Ryan, not anymore.
How long would those words haunt him? Had she hated him that much for asking her to put her dreams on hold to have their child? Hadn’t she wanted to marry him? She’d killed his baby. Abortion, whatever label he put on the act, it was still murder in the most horrendous form.

He’d meant to be cold toward Kate, but when she had left Liv’s house there had been such pain in her eyes. Did she feel remorse? Had she grieved that loss?

And then he remembered what day it was.

His feet had carried him down the path to the ocean. Why had he come here? Because he knew this was where he’d find Kate. His mother was right, as usual. They’d have to settle things between them or Liv would be the one to suffer. Kate’s sobs carried with the wind, drifting up to him and beckoning him to follow the sound. This hallowed ground had once been their place. Kate would hurt as he did. Didn’t he owe it to his child to be civil at least? Basic human kindness.

Ryan stepped behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder. Her short, choppy hair style left her neck bare. Smooth, pale skin peeked out from beneath the collar of her lab coat, enticing him to touch just one more time. Once Kate would have turned into him and taken the comfort offered.

“I’m sorry if I did something to upset you back there. It wasn’t my intention.” Yes, it was and it was clear he’d done a damn fine job of it.

“You don’t have to comfort me. I’ve been on my own for awhile. I’ve learned to be self-sufficient. I’d rather be alone, if you don’t mind.” Spite dripped from her words.

“I see. I’ll leave you to your pity party.”

“I’m sorry. I’m a little raw at the moment. If you’ve come to grill me about Liv, I can tell you, professionally, she really is fine. As long as she keeps her stress level down, I don’t foresee any complications for her delivery.”

“That’s good.”

“Can we just not fight this day? Out of respect, if nothing else.”

“I’ve left you alone just like you wanted. I’m just trying to be human. I don’t want to fight with you, Kate. I’m too tired to fight anymore. We’re going to run into each other from time to time. I’d rather it not be awkward for either of us, and like you said the stress would be bad for Liv.”

“She’s been through enough, but I’m glad she found Jack. They’re good for each other.”

“You wanted to fight the night you left me.” Ryan stretched out beside her on the sand, leaned back on his arms and waited in silence for her to explain her actions.

“I had to leave, Ryan.”

“You could have stayed, married me and had the baby. We could have managed. I had my degree, could have worked from home. I wouldn’t have kept you from going to school. I loved that child, Kate. You have to know that. Did you know I ached to hold our baby? My arms actually ached for so long. I would have taken the baby and raised it alone if you didn’t want it. I don’t understand why you did what you did, but at least you feel some kind of guilt and remorse. I forgive you.”

“What are you talking about? You forgive me? I walked away, but it didn’t change how I felt, Ryan. I loved you then. I still do. You left. Literally ran off to another country.”

“It isn’t fair to say that to me. It’s been thirteen years, Kate. You didn’t want me or our baby. You got rid of it. Like a fly in your way, you murdered our child. I had a hard time dealing with that.” Ryan jumped up, walked to one of the large rocks close to the shore and slid his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Raw fury leading the way, Kate stalked over to him kicking up sand with her hurried footsteps.

“Murder? Is that what you think? That I had an abortion because I wanted to go off to school instead of raise a family? Oh, you are the world’s biggest idiot.” Kate yelled the words in his face. So much for not fighting. She’d always had a fine temper and no one could bring it out like he could.

“Your own father told me.”

“He lied and you believed him over me? I loved that child. I was going to give everything up, all of it. I made the mistake of trusting him to act like my father just once. I told him about us, the child. He beat me that night until I lost the baby.”

“No. There’s no point in lying about it now.”

“He raped me. Did you know that, Ryan? I came to you beaten, broken, violated and you sent me away. I thought I could count on you. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me? What it has taken to put that behind me? And you
offer
me forgiveness?”

“What?” His look of shock and heartache must have told her he hadn’t known.

“Ask your mother.”

“What does Ma have to do with this?”

“Who do you think took care of me? Go to the old house and look, if you have the nerve. I have to go. I’ve got patients scheduled.” Kate started the steep climb back toward the cottage. Half-way up the rise, she turned back to look at him.

He stood rigid, his back to the gentle waves. His fists clenched and released as if he wanted to hit someone. He was watching her with an overwhelming mix of sadness, regret and somewhere buried inside, heat.

She called back down to him. “You’ve changed, Ryan. So have I, but you once had a gift for healing. Feel the land on which you stand and see what it has seen. Remember the magic you were once capable of without thought. The blood of our child stains this ground where it was conceived. You will never be able to open your heart, unless you open your mind to the truth. I won’t intentionally cause problems for you, but your family is an important part of my life and I will not walk away from them. Not for anyone.”

* * * *

“Doc’s got a point. You should follow her advice. Born with magic. Die with magic. Whether you cleave to the power like a lover, or toss it away, it’s always with you, waiting until you need it, Ryan.”

Spinning around toward the sea, Ryan tried to find the source of the voice. Devin McLoch sat on a boulder close to the shore. Foamy water splashed against the rock and then rolled back out to sea on the gentle waves. He was still tall, broad shouldered but lean. He looked like some sort of wild predatory cat trying to spy under the water’s surface for mischief without getting wet.

“What the hell are you doing here? You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Teaching magic. Trying to give you some advice.”

“Teaching magic to who?”

“Allaina, your– Well, that’s for another time. Kate is an amazing woman, an excellent doctor. She still loves you. You should give it another try.”

“Butt out. You don’t know anything about this.”

Devin tapped his temple. “Don’t I? My magic’s weaker than it was before, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“You read her mind? How can you just invade someone’s privacy like that?”

Ryan held his ground, but the way Devin’s eyes were flashing made him consider the wisdom of continuing the conversation. As easygoing as the wizard was, Devin could kill him with a look if so inclined.

“Didn’t have to. I’ve changed a great deal over the last few months. Our family had a lot to do with that. I would not betray their trust in such a way.”

His gift, Ryan thought. Could he really find it again? Did he even want that? He had turned away from it long ago, when he couldn’t heal his mother’s broken heart or his own. Did Kate really still have feelings for him? And why was Devin acting like a lion protecting his pride?

“Kate calls out your name in her sleep.”

Devin’s words slapped him in the face, forcing him to make a choice. Try to repair whatever he and Kate may have had together, or walk away. An unwelcome image flitted through his mind.

“You and Kate? My Kate? I’ll kill you if you ever touch her again, wizard!” Ryan sprinted across the sand and swung at Devin. He caught the tiniest movement of Devin’s hand and his fist was stopped mid-air three inches away from Devin’s handsome face.

“It would be wise if you remembered, while weak, I can still destroy you if I choose. Control yourself.” Devin released Ryan’s fist. “Your Kate, hmm? I wonder what she’d have to say about that. No. We aren’t lovers, though I do love her and Allaina a great deal. They’re my family, as you are, cousin. Let this be a warning to you. Hurt either of them in any way again and it’s me you’ll be dealing with. I protect what is mine.”

“Stay out of my business.”

“That might be difficult to do. My family is my business now.”

“What? Give up your illustrious career as a jewel thief,
Christophe Lefleur
?”

“Mostly. I had forgotten how impressionable children are. I wouldn’t want my Allie cat doing the things I have done. Though there isn’t a prison in this world that could hold her unless she wished to stay.”

“Noble. I have one question. I keep feeling like I’m missing this vital piece of information. Something I should know. Tell me who Allaina is?”

Devin stretched and stood. A slow, wicked smile crossed his face, as if he knew what he was about to say would start all sorts of trouble and he was going to enjoy it.

Ryan braced himself.

“Allaina is my apprentice. She has a great deal of raw talent for all the elements, especially fire, very powerful for a twelve-year-old young lady.”

“And what does she have to do with all this?”

“She’s Kate’s daughter.” With a snap of his fingers, Devin vanished

Chapter 4

Skye sat not a foot from the edge of the jagged cliff behind his home. A paintbrush rested in his right hand, unmoving. His eyes focused on the sea, but he hadn’t put a drop of life onto the canvas.

If he looked for it as he did now, he could see the stone dance and just past that, Liv’s cottage. Since he was thinking of her, he sent a little hello and a message that he’d be round tomorrow to work on the addition he and Jack were building on to the small house. He needed only to do the finishing work inside, and then of course he would help Jack with the painting. His twin returned the connection with curiosity and a pull at his subconscious memory. Crafty, but he wouldn’t let Liv’s inquisitive nature ruin Jack’s surprise.