Waiting for Godalming (9 page)

Icarus saw. And Icarus took out his little roll of tools. Having first assured himself that he wasn’t being observed.

Naturally.

Icarus tinkered and Icarus opened the boot.

“Well well well,” said Icarus, peering in.

“Help me up,” said Johnny Boy, struggling up.

“It’s here,” said Icarus. “It’s all here. Boxes of tablets. The formula. And what’s this electronic doo-dad thing?”

“Oooh,” said Johnny Boy. “That’s the professor’s machine. The one that tunes into ghosts. I thought he’d destroyed it.”

“Spectremeter,” Icarus read from the little brass plate on the doo-dad’s side. “And this is a portable version, powered by batteries.” He lifted it out and tinkered with the buttons.

“Don’t switch it on in here, for God’s sake.”

Icarus returned the spectremeter to the boot.

“He was originally going to call it the Ghostamatic 2000,” said Johnny Boy. “Spectremeter’s probably better. I didn’t know he’d called it that.”

Icarus took his roll of tools and applied his talents to the driver’s door. Then he returned to the boot, scooped up the contents and flung them into the rear seat of the car.

“Come on,” he said to Johnny Boy. “We’re leaving.”

“You’re going to nick the car?”

“I’m going to relocate it.”

“Can you get it started without the key?”

“No, I’ll use the spare one that’s always kept under the sunshield visor thing above the windscreen. At least it always is in the movies.”

“You watch too many duff movies, lad. The professor always kept his in the glovie.”

“Come on then, let’s go.”

“To where?”

“To anywhere. There’s been a big dark car with blacked out windows following us ever since we left the professor’s house. I may have pretended not to notice it, but I do watch a
lot
of movies. And I know how all this works.”

“What big dark car?” asked Johnny Boy.

“The one over there, coming up the ramp.”

“Let’s go,” said Johnny Boy.

Now, there is a knack to starting a Ford Fiesta. You have to pull out the choke as far as it will go. Give the accelerator pedal a little bit of toe. Turn on the ignition slowly. Keep your foot off the accelerator pedal and let the revs build up. When the revs sound like they are running too high, ease the choke in to about half an inch, and wait until the engine has taken up a regular beat. Then put your foot on the accelerator pedal and pump it a few times, just to sound cool, and then you’re away. Then …

Johnny Boy fumbled in the glovie and fumbled the key to Icarus. “Let me explain what you have to do,” he said.

“No time.”

“But you’ll flood the engine.”

“No time.”

The long black car drew to a halt, boxing the Ford Fiesta in.

“Well. It hardly matters now,” said Johnny Boy. “We’re trapped.”

“Of course we’re not.”

Icarus keyed the engine. And stuck his foot down hard to the floor. The engine roared and the usual glorious cloud of acrid fumes came a-bursting out of the exhaust. Icarus slammed the gearstick into reverse.

“What are you doing? You’ll smash into them.”

“Of course I won’t.”

Icarus dropped the handbrake and let out the clutch. The Ford swept backwards out of the parking bay.

The long black car did likewise out of its path. Very fast, with its tyres screaming.

“They’re letting us out!” cried Johnny Boy. “Why are they letting us out?”

“Because this is a clapped-out Ford Fiesta, of course. And anyone with a decent car knows far better than to get anywhere near a clapped-out Ford Fiesta. It’s a natural instinct with drivers of posh cars. They can’t help themselves.”

Johnny Boy glanced out of his window. “They’re getting out of the car,” he said. “They’re wrong’uns and they’ve got guns.”

“Then let’s go.”

Marvellous acceleration, the Ford Fiesta. Simply marvellous.

Icarus swerved out of the parking bay and then took off at the hurry-up.

Johnny Boy was up on his seat, clinging to the headrest. “They’re getting back into the car,” he shouted. “They’re coming after us.”

“Yes, well I thought they probably would.”

“Faster,” cried Johnny Boy. “Faster.”

Now, it does have to be said, what with Hollywood knowing its own business best, and everything, that the “car chase in the multi-storey car park” never seems to lose its popularity. Those “hilly streets with the trams in San Francisco” are always good, of course. And the “racing under the big overpass jobbies in Brooklyn” and the “swervy mountain roads in France”, which are usually filmed in California, and the “out on the freeway in the desert” of course. Also in California. But the “car chase in the multi-storey car park” (or parking structure, as our American cousins like to call it) never ceases to impress. Lazlo Woodbine actually considered adding one more location to his set of four, that of the “parking structure, where a dodgy drugs deal is being done with racketeers”. But he decided to scrub round it, because it was far too dangerous a location to work. What with all the car chases going on.

And everything.

Icarus did some more swerving and headed down the exit ramp. The long dark car came creeping slowly after him.

“We’re losing them,” said Johnny Boy. “They’ve slowed down, we’re OK.”

“I think not,” said Icarus. “It has probably occurred to them, as it has occurred to me, that I don’t have a ticket. I don’t know how we’re going to get out of this car park.”

“Oh dear,” said Johnny Boy. “That would be a problem.”

“Possibly.” Icarus leaned over and whispered words into Johnny Boy’s ear.

“Do you think that might work?” asked the small man.

“I’d give it a go,” said Icarus. “I can’t think of anything else.”

“Okey-dokey then.”

The Ford Fiesta moved across the first floor of the multi-storey car park and then rather than going down the exit ramp it went up again. Up to the second floor, all round that, then up to the third floor and all round that. The long dark automobile followed it.

The driver wasn’t smiling.

The Ford Fiesta went down to the second floor again and then up two floors to the fourth. The long dark automobile followed the Ford Fiesta. Losing sight, then gaining sight of it again.

The driver had a definite frown on.

The Ford Fiesta went down to the third floor, then up to the fifth, then down to the second again. The long dark automobile followed it.

The driver had a snarl on now.

“What are they doing?” he shouted. He was an evil-looking man, the driver of the long dark automobile. He wore a chauffeur’s uniform and looked exactly the way that evil chauffeurs always look. Even down to that business with the chin and the unusual birthmark above the right eyebrow, which resembles the Penang peninsula. “What are they doing?” he shouted again. “Driving up and down and round and round until they run out of petrol?”

“Cut them off,” said a man in the back. An unseen man, so description wasn’t necessary. “Park the car across the exit ramp on the third floor.”

“But they’re in a Ford Fiesta, sir. It might scratch our bodywork if it bumps into us.”

“Just do it.”

“Yes, sir.”

The Ford Fiesta went up to the fifth floor again and then came down. The long dark car was blocking the third floor exit ramp. The chauffeur was sitting on the bonnet. He had a gun in his hand. The Ford Fiesta came down the fourth floor exit ramp. Which was the ramp leading from the fourth floor to the third, in case you’re finding this somewhat hard to follow.

“Here they come,” shouted the chauffeur, raising his pistol. “Stop or I fire, you sons of …”

The Ford Fiesta didn’t stop.

“Stop or I fire! Stop or I fire!”

The Ford Fiesta didn’t stop.

“Stop or I—” The driver leapt from the bonnet as the Ford Fiesta struck the long dark automobile.

Well, struck it is not exactly the word.

Passed right through it is. But that’s four words.

“Aaagh!” went the chauffeur as the Ford Fiesta merged into the long dark automobile, emerged from the other side, drove on round the third floor and then went up to the fifth again.

Down on the
ground floor
the Ford Fiesta had reached the ticket barrier. “Nice work,” said Icarus to Johnny Boy. “That old portable spectremeter really gets the job done, doesn’t it? I’ll bet they’ll be chasing the ghost of this car around the car park for the rest of the day.”

Johnny Boy grinned. “And switching it off on the second floor so the ghost car just goes on in a continuous loop while we slipped down to the exit. Smart idea, Icarus.”

“So let’s be off on our way.”

The bloke who worked in the little ticket office next to the barrier grinned at the grinning pair who stood before him.

“Lost ticket?” he said. “That will be fifty guineas, please.”

“Fifty guineas?” said Icarus Smith.
“Fifty guineas?”

The car park attendant wore a uniform. It didn’t fit at all well. They never do.

“Fifty guineas?” said Icarus again. “What do you take me for?”

“A noble bachelor,” said the bloke in the ill-fitting uniform. “And who’s this? Your little brother is it?”

“I wish it was,” said Icarus. “I have a brother, but he’s barking mad.”

“I’m getting madder by the moment,” said Johnny Boy.

“Come on,” said Icarus. “Let’s go.”

Icarus Smith and Johnny Boy returned to the Ford Fiesta.

“What are we going to do?” asked Johnny Boy. “Drive through the barrier?”

Icarus gathered up the papers and the boxes of tablets and the spectremeter. “No,” said he. “I think we’ll just walk from here.”

Down the exit ramp from the first floor came the long dark automobile.

“On second thoughts,” said Icarus, “I think we’ll run.”

Johnny Boy couldn’t run very fast, because he had very short legs. Icarus managed to flag down a cab.

“Brentford,” said he. “And fast, please.”

“Ah, you again,” said the cabbie. “And with your mate out of the box, this time. Hop in then and I’ll tell you some more about the knowledge.”

On the journey back to Brentford, which was not achieved in quite the speedy manner Icarus would have hoped for, the cabbie told Icarus some more about the knowledge. And Johnny Boy, who had a passionate interest in the geography of Greater and Inner London, and also the songs of Bruce Springsteen, asked the cabbie how you got to Thunder Road.

“What an interesting man,” said Johnny Boy, when he and Icarus had finally stepped from the taxi.

“Fascinating,” said Icarus Smith.

“But I think he was wrong about turning left in Arnold Layne,” said Johnny Boy, who also had a love for early Pink Floyd. “So what, exactly, are we doing here?”

“This is a pub,” said Icarus.

“Yes, well, I can see it’s a pub.”

“It’s called the Three Gables and I’m supposed to be meeting my best friend, Friend Bob, here tonight. I’m going to tell him everything.”

“Do you think that’s wise?”

“Absolutely,” said Icarus. “In movies, people always keep things to themselves until the last minute. It heightens the tension. Personally I don’t need any more heightened tension today.”

“You’re gonna get it,” said Johnny Boy, “when you’ve taken the drug.”

“That’s why I want to be with Friend Bob when I take it.”

Johnny Boy made a doubtful face. “It’s a very wise man who knows who his real friends are,” said he. “Friend Bob might not be what you think he is. You’d better let me take a look at him first.”

“To see if he’s a wrong’un?” Icarus pushed open the door to the saloon bar. Johnny Boy followed him in.

The Three Gables was a proper drinking man’s pub. No theme nights or foppish fancies here. It was your honest to goodness, down to Earth, spit and gob, drinking man’s pub. And you don’t see many of those around any more. It served proper flat ale in proper dirty glasses. Had proper full ashtrays and a proper foul-mouthed barmaid with an enormous bosom and a taste for group sex with Jehovah’s witnesses (well, they do keep knocking at your door when you’re taking a bath). There was proper unswept lino on the floor and proper unmopped vomit in the gents. There was a proper one man band called Johnny G, who performed there on a Tuesday night. And proper drunken louts who threw proper light ale bottles at him when he did.

The atmosphere was fugged throughout with proper cigarette smoke.

It was all right and proper and the way a pub should be.

“I hate it here,” said Johnny Boy. “It smells.”

“What can I buy you?” asked Icarus Smith, making his way through the proper crowd of early evening drinkers to the bar.

“Hold on, don’t lose me.”

Icarus returned to assist the small man to a quiet corner table.

“Look after all this stuff,” said Icarus, placing the boxes of tablets and the papers and the spectremeter down on the bench seat next to Johnny Boy. “I’ll get us in the drinks.”

“A short for me,” said Johnny Boy. “But make it a large short, a triple. Vodka, no ice, off you go.”

And so off Icarus went. Presently he returned in the company of a vodka bottle and two glasses.

“Blimey, I’ll bet that cost you a few bob,” said Johnny Boy.

“An understanding exists between myself and the big-bosomed barmaid,” said Icarus.

Presently still, the bottle was uncorked, glasses filled and glasses drained away. Icarus opened one of the boxes of tablets.

He placed a tablet on his palm and rolled it all about. It didn’t look all that much. Just a little white pill. There was nothing about it that said BEWARE.

“What
will
I see, when I take it?” he asked Johnny Boy.

“The truth,” said the small man. “And you won’t like it one little bit.”

“And are
you
seeing the truth?
Now
, at
this
moment?”

Johnny Boy glanced all around and about. “Yeah,” he said. “And it’s all pretty safe in here. There’s nothing that should rattle you too much. But out there,” Johnny Boy gestured to out there in general, “out there is a whole different matter. What you’ll see out there will shake you up. You’ll never be the same man again once you’ve taken the drug. The effects don’t wear off.”

Icarus lifted the tablet to his mouth.

But then he paused. Did he really truly want to know this truth, whatever it was? Did he really want to take some strange drug, whose unknown effects would be with him for ever? Did he, Icarus Smith, really really truly truly want to change the world? Yes, he’d had the dream. Yes, he
was
the relocator. Yes, he felt that he was on some mission that seemed almost divine.

But he was a lad of eighteen. His whole life stretched before him. He had already got himself into something rather dangerous. Would it not perhaps be better just to cut and run while he still had the chance?

“It’s a lot to think about, isn’t it?” said Johnny Boy.

“Far too much,” said Icarus Smith. “And that is not the way that I do business. So let’s leave it to fate. It either goes in, or it doesn’t.”

“Eh?”

Icarus tilted back his head, closed his eyes and opened his mouth. And then he flipped the tablet high into the air.

The tablet spun into the fug of cigarette smoke, caught a fleeting beam of sunlight when it reached its apogee, became a tiny star hung in a foul-smelling Heaven and then fell back to Earth.

To vanish down the throat of Icarus Smith.

“Fate has it then,” said Johnny Boy.

Icarus gagged and reached for his glass and swallowed down some vodka.

“There’s no going back now, lad,” said Johnny Boy. “Let’s just hope that you’re up to it. I think you are. In fact, I’m sure you are.”

Icarus wiped at his mouth. Sweat was already coming to his brow. The thought “Oh God, what have I done?” was crying very loudly in his head.

“Don’t panic,” said Johnny Boy, patting the arm of Icarus. “You won’t actually feel anything. You’ll experience a bit of double vision at first, but when that clears … well, when that clears, we’ll talk about things.”

Icarus clutched at his head. There was something going on in there. Something decidedly odd. There was a rushing noise in his ears now. And a queer sensation, as if parts of his brain were being tightened, or bolted up, or realigned in some way.

“Tuned in,” said Johnny Boy. “Your brain’s just being tuned in. It’s all to do with frequencies, you see. Like the ghosts. We’re all attuned to only a limited range of frequencies, which is why we can only hear and see and smell a limited number of things. We can’t see everything that’s really going on around us. And that’s the way the wrong’uns would like to keep it. That’s why they’ll stop at nothing to make sure the professor’s drug doesn’t fall into the right hands. Except it already has. It’s fallen into yours.”

The double vision was really kicking in now. Icarus pinched at his eyes. “I can’t see.” He shook his head from side to side. “I’m going blind.”

“It will clear, lad. It will clear.”

Icarus suddenly jerked bolt upright, his eyes widened and he stared at Johnny Boy. And then his jaw dropped open and then it slowly closed again.

“My God,” said Icarus Smith. “Johnny Boy, you’re beautiful.”

“Well, thank you very much.”

“But you are. You’re beautiful. You glow. You’ve got a golden aura all around you.”

Icarus glanced at the bar. And just as it is when you do some really good acid, it was as if he was now seeing everything the way it really was, for the first time ever.

The only difference was, that Icarus
really was
seeing it.

He gawped at the people standing at the bar. Talking, drinking, smoking, swearing. Just ordinary people. Normal people. But Icarus could really see them.
Really see them
. He could see, not just the people, but what they really were. The very essence of the people. What made the people people.

Some were evidently good people. They veritably shone. Like Johnny Boy, who sparkled. Some, however, were not at all good. These exuded a grimness about them. A dark foreboding.

And it wasn’t just the people. The bar itself looked different too. The colours were heightened. Cleaner. Crisper. Everything was more defined. More clarified.

“Wow,” went Icarus Smith. “And I do mean, Wow.”

“Like it?” said Johnny Boy. “Like what you see?”

“It’s incredible. See that big bloke over in the corner? He’s lying to that chap with the moustache. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but I can actually see that he’s lying. I can, I don’t know,
perceive
it somehow.”

“Doors of perception,” said Johnny Boy. “Aldous Huxley wrote about that.”

Icarus took up his glass for a swig. “Urgh,” he said, gaping at the vodka. “This stuff’s been watered down. You can actually see, my God, you can actually see the water in it.”

“I was too polite to mention that,” said Johnny Boy. “Seeing as you were buying.”

Icarus looked the midget up and down. “You’re a really good person, man,” he said.

“No, please,” said Johnny Boy. “Don’t start calling everybody man. Break the habit now, while you still can.”

“Yeah, but man oh man oh man.” Icarus whistled. “This is some trip.”

“It is for now,” said Johnny Boy. “But sadly it won’t be for long.”

“You mean this effect
will
wear off?”

“No, but you’ve only seen the good side of it so far. And no, hold on, now you’re going to see the other side. I don’t want you to look just yet, but someone has just come into the bar.”

“Who?” asked Icarus.

“It doesn’t matter who, just look at me, please. I’m going to ask you to turn your head in a moment and look. But when you do and when you see what you see, I don’t want you to react. Don’t scream, or anything.”

“As if I would,” said Icarus.

“Listen, lad. I told you not to look at the ghosts, didn’t I? But you didn’t listen. Now I’m telling you to keep your wits about you and not to react to what you see. You mustn’t give the game away. You mustn’t let them know that you can see them.”

“Would this be the wrong’uns?” whispered Icarus.

“Yes it would, lad. He’s up at the bar now, so turn your head slowly and keep your mouth tight shut. And don’t stare, whatever you do. Just look and then look away. I really mean it, trust me and do what I tell you.”

“All right,” said Icarus. “I will.”

And Icarus turned his head slowly and looked towards the man who now stood at the bar. And then Icarus turned his head back slowly towards Johnny Boy.

And Johnny Boy looked into the eyes of Icarus Smith.

And Johnny Boy saw the terror that was in them.

Icarus was finding it hard to form words, but when he could, they came out in a whisper. “It’s not a man,” he whispered. “It’s some kind of monster. What is it?”

“It’s a wrong’un, lad. That’s what it is. Now take another look and don’t react. It doesn’t know you can see it for what it really is. You’re safe, as long as you don’t do anything stupid.”

Icarus turned his head once more and feigned a casual glance towards the figure standing at the bar.

It was hideous. Evil. Loathsome. It was more than the height of a man, with tall quills rising from a scaly elongated head. The eyes were those of a reptile, greeny-red with vertical slits. There was no nose to speak of, but the mouthparts were complicated, just as those of some grossly magnified insect. And there was more to it, so very much more. And all this more was fearsome to behold.

Icarus took a gulp of his watered down vodka and slowly turned once more to Johnny Boy. “It’s an alien,” he whispered. “A creature from outer space. They really
do
walk among us.”

Johnny Boy grinned. “Alien?” he said. “You watch far too many duff old movies. That wrong’un isn’t an alien.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s a demon from Hell, lad. Although it’s not exactly
from
Hell. You see, people have always had the wrong idea about Heaven and Hell. They thought Heaven was up in the clouds and Hell way down in the burning depths. But they’re not. They’re both right here. Inhabiting the same space we do.

“You see, there is no afterlife. No Heaven or Hell that you go to when you die. When you die, you’re finished, gone, kaput. But there are angels and there are demons and they do
walk among us
. This world can be Heaven or Hell, depending how your cards fall. Depending who, or rather
what
, is pulling your strings. I don’t know if there’s a God or not. But if there is, I’ll bet He’s down here too.”

“Demons,” whispered Icarus. “And they’ve always been among us? And people can’t see them for what they are? People just think they’re other people?”

“You’re catching on, lad.”

“It’s all too much. I mean, well, I mean, the demons and the angels both here on Earth. I mean, they don’t
get on
with each other, surely, I mean …”

“You mean, you mean, you mean.
No,
they
don’t
get on with each other. You might have noticed that mankind does indulge in a bit of warfare once in a while. The odd bit of conflict. Well, that’s not always the fault of mankind. All those evil despots, those Hitlers and Stalins, people have said that they sold their souls to the devil. But that’s not true. They really
were
demons. Waging their wars. Using up people as if they were nothing at all. So that the forces of evil can rule the planet.”