Waiting for Your Love (Echoes of the Heart) (5 page)

When she stayed, he smiled as if she’d made his day.

“What do you say, Clair Bear. Wanna give being a real couple for a while a try?”

Chapter Five

“What do I say?” Clair repeated in a whisper, her arms gesturing on either side of her body like she was a cartoon caricature of herself. “You charm yourself into coming to my family reunion. And then you do this—finally—today of all days?”

“Charmed myself?”

No way could Conrad let that juicy rationalization slide. Even if he had no idea how things had gotten so completely out of hand.

Actually
, he did know.

He’d kissed her that morning. Or she’d kissed him. He couldn’t clearly remember their sleep-induced, uninhibited response to each other. But the sexual chemistry that had exploded between them still hadn’t let go. And it had most definitely short-circuited the logic center of his brain.

Wanting to kiss Clair again, knowing that she’d likely want to as well, had owned his thoughts all morning. Hers, too, from the look and sound of it.

“I offered to help you out,” he reminded her.

“By deflecting my mother’s disappointment in my dead-end love life!” Clair’s voice had risen to its
losing-it
octave. She cleared her throat and leaned in to say more calmly, “
Not
by making things worse.”

“Would it be so bad?” Something powerful had grabbed hold of both of them that morning. He was certain of it. “Us being more than friends?”

She inhaled, crossing her arms as if to fend him off.

“Why now?” she wanted to know.

He looked around them. “Why here, at your mother’s?”

She shook her head. “Why after all this time, when we’ve been something else our entire lives?”

Because you’ve cast a spell over me?

Because it feels as if I only just woke up, after years of sleepwalking through my life?

“Why not now?” he countered, keeping things light. “Why not make each other feel good and see where that can take us? You make it sound like we’d be risking our friendship.”

She squinted as if her world were spinning.

His most definitely was.

He’d lost years of his life to the grueling numbness and denial and anger, and then to the rebuilding that it had taken to get over losing Amanda. To raising their baby without her. Now it felt suddenly as if everything else were rushing back into focus. And yet Clair was all he could see.

She was the best friend any man could have. She’d been the first crush he’d buried deep. Decades deep. Now there seemed no limit to the life he could imagine them exploring together.

“Out of nowhere?” She poked a just-to-be-sure finger against his chest. “You want to date. Like
really
date and kiss and”—she air-quoted—“…
whatever
?”

She hadn’t answered his question, and warning bells began to chime. But the insanely naughty images galloping through his mind drowned them out.

“Oh, I’d most definitely be interested in”—he air-quoted back—“
whatever
. Is that so impossible to believe?”

“Yes!”

Clair dragged him closer to the fence that separated Barbara’s backyard from his mother’s.

They were standing beneath the magnolia tree where he’d helped her bury her beloved cat, a blue point ragdoll named Bella. After Winston, Bella had become Clair’s confident and the keeper of the secrets she hadn’t shared with another human besides Conrad.

The beautiful creature had died at the ripe old age of fifteen, the year Clair and Conrad were seniors in high school. A week after he’d received his acceptance to study pre-med at Duke University.

It had felt that day as if he and Clair were burying a part of themselves, too. She’d decided to stay in Chandlerville after high school and start her own business. Soon he’d be living hours away. And she’d already seemed to be distancing herself from him.

The prospect had terrified him.

He’d longed to ask her to come away with him to school, to love him as more than the friend she’d depended on since they were kids. But at eighteen, she’d already been adamant about not shaping her life around a man. Any man. Not after the shallow, all-for-show example of love her parents had set for her and Rachael.

Now, beneath the shady sunbeams peeking through their giant magnolia’s draping foliage, Conrad aligned their bodies, determined to stake his claim and snag her agreement to a do-over.

“Kissing in our sleep…” he said. “It was as amazing for you as it was for me, right? Or am I reading you wrong?”

“It was…magical.” She gazed at him with the same craving for more he felt. “Because we were dreaming.”

“Because we wanted it. We’ve wanted it for a long time. At least I have, in case you’re under the delusion that you somehow took advantage of me this morning, and I had no choice in the matter. It’s just…”

“It’s just that I’m trying to make up my mind which of us has become more unhinged.”

She leaned into him finally, as if she couldn’t help herself. Her sweet lips brushed his neck before she buried her face in his shoulder.

“Now, Conny? After all these years. It’s
really
not a good idea.”

He tilted her chin up and kissed her soundly. The way he should have years ago, before he’d met Amanda and had Harper. And then had lost so much that he couldn’t have imagined ever wanting anything again. Even something as perfect as having Clair Summerville for his own.

She hesitated, and he cursed himself for pushing her so quickly, in such a public place. But then she was kissing him back as if she couldn’t help herself either.

“Best idea I’ve had in a long time,” he teased.

He smiled into their next kiss. But then he tasted her tears. And the misery in her expression gutted him.

He flinched away.

It’s
really
not a good idea.

“Clair? What’s going on?”

She stared at the patchwork of grass thriving against all odds beneath the enormous tree.

“Tell me.” Something still wasn’t right. Something more than the suddenness of his proposition. “Just don’t try to make me believe that you don’t want me. You’ve been fighting your feelings for me for a while, right?”

The fight leaked out of her. She rested her cheek on his shoulder. “I had no idea you were wanting me back. Not like this. And it’s amazing, Conny. This morning felt so good. And standing here with you now, knowing that what’s happening between us isn’t just you helping me out of a jam with my mother… It’s another kind of dream. The
real
kind. But…”

She allowed him to circle her in his arms, the way he did his son when Harper was upset and needed to believe that Conrad would always be there to help make things better.

“But?” he prompted.

“But it’s too late,” she said.

It took him a full ten seconds to realize she was serious. “Too late for what?”

“To start something like this.” She gestured between them. “If I’d thought there was any chance… If it hadn’t been for Amanda’s death and everything you and Harper have been dealing with starting your lives over in Chandlerville, maybe you and I could have had time to try.”

He captured her hand and kissed it. Of course she was skittish. She’d watched her parents’ empty relationship rock on for decades after they’d fallen out of love with each other.

“We’ll make time to figure everything out now, Clair Bear. It’s not too late.”

She shook hear head. “I’ve been approached by this massive pet concierge company based out of Charlotte, North Carolina. PetClub’s looking to expand into Georgia. They researched the success of my PAWSMatch app and got in touch about that first. Plus, they’re eager to expand into storefronts in the North Georgia market. They made an offer in late June to buy PAWSMatch outright, and to merge ALL PAWS into their corporate structure. I’d go in as a full partner—on top of their purchasing the rights to the app. Their offer is so ridiculously over the top, they must think I’m crazy for not immediately jumping at the chance.”

“That’s great!” Conrad twirled her around. She’d worked her ass off for an opportunity like this.

“Is it?” She wound her arms around his neck, clinging. She stayed that way even after he eased her body down until her toes touched the ground.

“I know the app is your baby,” he commiserated, “and it’ll be hard to turn it and control of the rest of your business over to someone else. But you’d be part of the merger, and I presume involved in the decision making for how to blend what you’ve created into their business model. You’ll make it work. You’ll make even more of a success out of all of it.”

Didn’t she know he’d be cheering her on, every step of the way?

“I’d have to move,” she said.

A knot of dread lodged directly over his heart. “What?”

“To Charlotte,” she explained. “Once I oversaw transitioning the ALL PAWAS grooming and pet care storefronts and kennels and customers into PetClub locations, the deal is I’d relocate as part of the merger to their North Carolina corporate headquarters. To work with their teams on expanding the PAWSMatch concept and app, and then training PetClub associates to implement my approach in their existing markets. I’d be traveling back and forth until then, whenever I’m not here making sure we don’t disrupt the customer base I’ve established around Atlanta.”

She stroked Conrad’s cheek this time, his face frozen with shock beneath her touch.

“I’ll be consumed with business for the better part of the next two years,” she said. “Maybe longer. Just like my father made work his priority my entire childhood, no matter how little time that left for my mother or me or Ra. It wouldn’t happen overnight. Chandlerville would still be my home base for a while. But I’d be moving away, Conny, most likely before the end of the year. And PetClub would become
my
priority. How could we possibly figure us out with that going on?”

“You’re leaving?” Conrad had
to have misheard her.

“Relocating.” Clair sounded excited, and sad.

“To Charlotte?”

She reached for him again.

He jerked back. “And you decided all of this without even talking with me? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I’m sorry, Conny. I—”

One second she seemed genuinely apologetic.

The next, she was hands-on-curvy-hips furious.

“Why on earth,” she said, “would I think I had to talk with anyone about my business? I’m a big girl, and up until a few minutes ago I had no reason to suspect there was anyone else to consider when it came to making decisions about my future.”

Anger had flushed her cheeks. And she was right to lay into him. She owed no one an explanation for how she ran her life or ALL PAWS. But she was weeks ahead of him, processing the reality that they could soon be living two states apart.

“I know this is a surprise.” She ran her fingers through blond curls that sprang back, releasing the fresh scent of her shampoo. “I’ve was trying to find a way to tell you last night, when I was…”

“Out with some dude? Only you ditched him and got drunk. And then I was the
dude
you called next, to exfiltrate yourself from your latest calamity?”

Her eyes rounded. “That’s not how I think of you.”

“How
do
you think of me?”

She’d frozen him out of a decision that could shape the rest of her life.

“I mean,” he said, “I’m fine being your safe place to land when you’re feeling low, or when your mother’s cornered you into another disaster of Don Lovette proportions. But…”

She simply couldn’t be leaving Chandlerville, quite possibly for good.

Her anger fizzled into a visible wave of guilt. “You’re not a convenience to me, Conrad. I’m sorry I’ve frozen you out of this. You know you’ve always been more than just someone to help me pick up the pieces when things go wrong.”

He
did
know that. Especially after the way she’d been there for him and Harper these last few years. He was taking this way too personally.

But how much more
was
he to her? And how did he support her this time, the way he’d promised he always would, while she made plans to leave him?

“Is PetClub why your mother’s been so worked up lately, even for her?”

Clair snuggled closer instead of answering. She wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Let me guess.” He kissed the top of her head, giving and taking comfort. “Barbara thinks that if you find the right guy here, you’ll—”

“Settle down in Chandlerville and give her more grandchildren.”

“Instead of giving birth to more business opportunities that will steal you away forever, the way her very successful businessman husband spends all his time and energy on the bank, rather than with his family.”

“And here you were today.” Clair hugged Conrad tighter. “Bravely walking into the lion’s den. Serving yourself up to my mother’s machinations like a thick, juicy steak.”

Conrad laughed, loving Clair’s spunky, sassy resilience. Even now. Nothing kept her down for long. “If I’m going to get eaten, can I at least be prime rib?”

“I tried to warn you”—she punched him for emphasis—“that today was a trap.”

“Or maybe I’m exactly where I needed to be.” He waited until her gaze lifted. “Mind telling me why all the secrecy?”

“It’s been really hard”—She blinked back a sheen tears—“Facing how much I’ll have to let go of, to follow my dreams.”

“Letting go of me, you mean?” That sounded promising.

“I’ll miss a lot about Chandlerville. My clients and friends. I’ll even miss my crazy mother and the rest of my family. But the last few years, you and I have gotten back what we had when we were kids, Conny. We’re stronger than ever, and I’ve wanted that for so long. I haven’t been able to face giving us up again.”

“Giving us up? Or dealing with what we might be? Are you honestly telling me this PetClub offer isn’t a little bit of a relief, where we’re concerned? You don’t have to make a choice now, right? You’re leaving. So there’s no way to know if we’d make it, or if we’d make a bust of being a couple.”

“That’s…” She shook her head. “I…”

He kissed her softly.

The truth was there in her eyes. In the things they’d already said.

You and me—dating—would be a bad thing?

If it’s not real, if we let things go too far and then realize after it’s too lake that we’ll never be able to go back to the way things were, yes!

If Clair tried to make a romantic relationship work with him, it would mean the possibility of failing. And her whole life, failing at love was the only thing he’d ever known her to be afraid of.

“You should have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, Clair Bear,” he told her. “And if on of those dreams is having a man in your life who worships you, then here I am. We’ve never tried
us
as a couple. Why rush into giving that up?”

Forehead wrinkled in confusion, she inhaled to respond.

His raised hand to stalled her.

“Let me be clear,” he added. “I do adore you as a friend. But for a while now, I’ve wondered if we’re becoming more than two people who’ve known each other all our lives. And
I
want to give the possibility of us having more a chance.”

She threw her arms around him, her elation swamping them both. “I can’t believe you’re really saying these things.”

“I’ve been an idiot, not telling you sooner.”

“But the timing, Conny…” She swiped at happy tears this time. Relief, tinged with pain. “PetClub is pretty much a done deal.”

“
Pretty much
is a good start.” He wiped the last of her sadness away, loving how she welcomed the intimacy of his touch.

“I want this merger,” she said. “For my business. For my future. I’m not going to back off from what’s best for ALL PAWS.” She gestured between them again. “What good will come from us dabbling in starting something now?”

“Dabbling?”

“As my mother’s so fond of pointing out, I’m not a long-term relationship girl, remember? I wouldn’t even know how to be part of a real couple. I’ve built my world around
not
knowing how. I refuse to cross over to Barbara’s dark side like Ra has, and settle for anything less than…”

“Someone who’ll be there for you, totally into you and the life you want, whatever that life is?”

Conrad waited her out.

“Aren’t we already like that for each other?” he prompted.

“Conny and Clair Bear…
Friends forever
.”

He winced at her resigned tone. “Friends aren’t allowed to want more?”

“I’m moving on, Conrad.” But hope sparkled in her crystal blue eyes. Hope and confusion and worry.

“Months from now.” He kissed where she was biting the corner of her lip. “We don’t have to have everything figured out today. We have months. I know we’re coming late to the party. But if you’re feeling anything close to what I am, we have to try.”

He held his breath, watching her take it all in.

She curled closer. “The deal. Us. My mother. Not to mention Harper and your life with him here in Chandlerville, while I’m cruising warp speed ahead into my escape plan. How does all of that work together?”

He glanced around at the barbecue rocking along without them. “By us not letting go until we’re sure of what we want. Together, there’s no stopping us, Clair Bear. I’d dare anyone to try.”