Wake Up Now (7 page)

Rather than proposing a gradual path of self-improvement as a means to self-realization, the direct approach I offer in this book points you immediately to your true nature right here and now—to the pure, eternal, unobstructed, boundless awareness that you always already are. You’ve never been apart from it even for an instant, so you can’t possibly approach it, least of all by effort or progression. Just turn your attention back on itself and recognize your true faceless face once and for all.

The direct approach relies less on techniques than on the intimate relationship between teacher and student and
the instantaneous transmission of truth from heart to heart and mind to mind—or as my first Zen teacher used to say, “from one warm hand to another.” (The term
transmission
can give the mistaken impression that some knowledge or wisdom is passed from person to person. Rather, both teacher and student simultaneously share in and acknowledge the recognition of true nature.) Bodhidharma, the First Patriarch of Chinese Zen, called it a “special transmission outside the scriptures, no dependence on words and letters, pointing directly to the human heart, see true nature, become Buddha.” In the Tibetan tradition known as Dzogchen (“great perfection”), teachers use “pointing-out instructions” to introduce their students to the essential nature of mind. In the Indian Advaita Vedanta tradition, sages use both words and silence to awaken their disciples to the living reality that’s beyond both speech and silence. (The collective term for the Vedanta scriptures,
Upanishad
, literally means “to sit down near” the guru.) When my teacher told me, “The seeker is the sought,” I didn’t deliberately reflect on his words; they just took hold and transformed me from the inside, without conscious effort on my part.

Alas, the ego has the power to turn even the loveliest path into its own private toll road, and the direct approach also has its shadow side. Some folks, for example, think they can listen to a few teachings, read a few books, burn a little incense, dress in special clothing, and expect awakening to come knocking on their door without any sincere interest or inquiry. (It does happen, of course, but I wouldn’t let your chai get cold waiting.) Others simply comprehend the
teachings intellectually and then assume they’ve reached the end of their search. After all, the great sages say, “You are the Self always.” In fact, these seekers are still standing outside the gateless gate, because halfhearted seeking, passive waiting, or mere conceptual understanding won’t get them through. Still other aficionados of the direct approach become “professional seekers” who seem more interested in the personal comfort, meaning, and belonging they derive from their new identity than in the potential discomfort of genuine, transformative awakening, which tends to deconstruct even the most spiritual identities and reveal the living truth beneath.

Yes, it’s true that you can awaken to your true self in a moment out of time just by reading these words or listening to the teachings of the great sages of old. But generally it helps to be oriented, curious, dedicated, and even passionate about discovering who you really are. In other words, it helps to want truth more than anything else—and to know how and where to look.

The Sufis relate a parable in which the holy fool Nasruddin insists on looking for his keys under a lamppost because he has more light there, even though he lost them somewhere else. Although it’s become something of a cliché, this story sheds some important light on the nature of the search. Like Nasruddin, you may be tempted to look for your true self outside yourself in the known, the tried and true, the familiar, because so many others have undertaken
the journey before you and left so many lampposts there to light you on your way. Ultimately, however, your path is unique to you, and it begins in the darkness of not knowing and the simple yearning of your own heart. As Nisargadatta Maharaj said, “You must find your own way. Unless you find it yourself, it will not be your own way and will take you nowhere.” You need to be willing to sit in this darkness, recognizing that the truth is hidden there, without immediately leaping to claim easy answers or proven practices. “To live in the known is bondage,” adds Nisargadatta. “To live in the unknown is liberation.”

The Upanishads describe three major doorways to truth: hearing, meditating, and pondering. The first (discussed in this chapter and the next) involves reading the sacred texts and listening to the words of a true teacher—not with the intention of gathering new concepts, but with a desire to experience the truth for yourself. The second (described in
Chapter 4
) involves welcoming whatever arises in your experience. And the third (discussed in
Chapter 5
) involves letting those words germinate inside you, in the fertile darkness of your own heart, while earnestly inquiring into the truth they express. Rather than effort or struggle, these three approaches require a quality of openness and receptivity, a willingness to put aside your preconceptions and experience reality directly, combined with a sincere dedication to discovering what’s true once and for all. In other words, no matter how long your search lasts, it’s crucial not to lose the freshness, vitality, and spontaneity of beginner’s mind by turning your search into a lifeless habit, another item on the
ego’s endless self-improvement schedule. Remember that the separate self can never discover the truth—in the end, the truth just awakens to itself through you.

The Tibetan teacher Chogyam Trungpa often warned his students to think twice before embarking on the spiritual path, because once they’d committed themselves, there would be no turning back—and nothing left of them when they were done. In the same spirit, I encourage you to ask yourself whether you’re willing to give up everything you hold dear—your beliefs, your security, your familiar identity, your entire world of meaning—in order to awaken to your identity with the vastness of being. Once the wave realizes it’s actually the ocean playing with itself, it can’t go back to pretending it’s just a wave anymore.

Everyone talks about spiritual awakening these days as if it were a pleasant experience you can simply add to your résumé, along with meditation retreats and yoga treks to India. But awakening, once it occurs, tends to be ruthless and uncontrollable, like a wildfire that burns up everything in its path. “Spirituality isn’t child’s play,” warns Nisargadatta Maharaj. “My sentences will tear to pieces anyone who listens to them.” After all, what you awaken to is the truth, which shatters the illusion of who you’ve believed yourself to be. You might want to consider whether you’re ready to have your tidy little world torn to pieces or consumed in a conflagration
before you set out to discover who you are. I’ve known many people whose lives were turned upside down by awakening and who spent years learning how to live in a completely new way. (In fact, this journey of waking up and then learning how to live your awakening is the subject of this book.) In Zen, enlightenment is affectionately known as the “Great Death,” and practitioners are urged to “die before you die.”

Breathe and Reflect

Spend some time considering whether you’re ready to give up your familiar sense of self and your accustomed worldview for the sake of awakening to your true identity with something limitless and unknowable. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Of course, you don’t need to make a commitment yet, and you don’t have a choice in any case. You’re either going to awaken or you’re not. Just reflect on the profound, life-transforming consequences of spiritual awakening.

The Chinese tell a story about a man who loved dragons. He drew pictures of dragons, collected dragon statues, read everything he could possibly find about dragons. He was known far and wide as an expert on dragons. Then one day a real dragon wandered by, stuck its head in his window, and breathed a little fire—and the terrified man ran off down the road and was never heard from again. Consider carefully before you cultivate an interest in awakening. Like the dragon, the experience can be fearsome, awe-inspiring, and life-changing, and it may take you in directions you never expected.

Is some form of seeking or passionate inquiry really
necessary? What if I have no inclination to seek?

If you’re content with your life and don’t feel a need to look for something more, then by all means continue as you are. I have no prescriptions to offer you, no self-improvement schemes, no vested interest in trying to get you to awaken. Seeking is optional, and so is finding. Just enjoy life as it is, and be who you are.

You mention the importance of a teacher’s support.
But how do I choose a teacher? How can I tell
whether a teacher is authentic?

As my teacher Jean Klein used to say, “You’ll know you’ve met a true teacher because you feel yourself in your autonomy in his or her presence.” That is, you feel freer to be yourself, rather than feeling bound by the roles of teacher and student. The true teacher doesn’t take the identity of teacher seriously and doesn’t need students to feel complete.

In my first private interview with Jean, I was astonished to discover that this person didn’t take himself to be a teacher—indeed, didn’t take himself to be anyone at all—and had absolutely no interest in making me his student, as other teachers had. I was exhilarated because I no longer felt required to live up to someone else’s expectations. In the
presence of a true teacher, you feel freer, rather than more bound by rules and agendas.

How can I know whether I’m making progress or
just wasting time on my spiritual path?

Where exactly are you trying to go? The whole notion of a path binds you to the belief that you’re moving toward some distant goal. Call off the search and just be. Your mind may feel disoriented and frustrated at first because it doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t have any practices or techniques to apply, doesn’t know how to measure its progress. But in the radiant spaciousness of your true nature, there’s no place to go and nothing to achieve. You’re already where you’re supposed to be. Just enjoy this timeless moment, without expectation or manipulation, and awakening will take care of itself.

Wake-Up Call

What Are You Really Seeking?

Set aside ten to fifteen minutes for this exploration. Begin by sitting comfortably for a few minutes with your eyes closed. Now ask yourself the following questions: “What am I looking for? What’s the goal of my search? How would I know if I found it? How would my life be different? What do I imagine enlightened people have that I don’t?” Take some time to reflect on these questions. Be honest with yourself,
and don’t hold anything back. Perhaps you’re looking for a quality of silent presence or nonjudgmental openness. Perhaps it’s a peace and joy that’s prior to the mind and can’t be disturbed by thoughts or emotions.

Now reflect on the teachings of the sages who say that what you’re looking for is what you already are, that it’s not something you need to cultivate or find; it’s your natural state, and you’ve never been apart from it even for an instant. Right now, let go of your search and abide as awareness or presence itself.