Waken (The Woods of Everod Book 1) (23 page)

“That’s when you came back to Everod,” Marissa said, urging him on.

“That’s when I learned who Elin really was and about the promise.”

“What about your other children? Did you abandon them like you did me?”

He didn’t answer me right away. He simply stared at the bitterness I knew tightened my lips.

“No. Like I said, I didn’t know about Beth until she was ten. Rachel well, I found out about her when I came back here.”

“And the boy?”

“I knew about Kyle before he was born.”

Kyle was my brother. His face flashed before me, melding with Lukas’s and my own. I could see it then, I could even hear Lisa - or was it Rachel? - joking that I looked like Kyle’s sister.

Justin’s brow crinkled. He shook his head and said, “So Janie isn’t a werewolf-”

“Lycan.” Lisa interrupted.

“Lycan.” Justin rolled his eyes. “And she’s supposedly immune. I still don’t get why that means she’s gonna cure anyone.”

“We don’t know that she will.” Tristan’s dad, Adam, rose to his feet, rested his hands on the table and leaned forward. “It was simply a prediction the Clara made. But if we had Janie’s blood to work with, we could run tests.”

Everyone’s eyes focused on me.

“Come on, Janie,” Lisa said with a teasing smile. “Let’s cut you open and find out!”

Tristan growled threateningly, before poking her in the side.

“Kidding! Kidding!” She squealed with laughter.

“But,” Adam said, leaning forward and the temporary lightheartedness disappeared. “We don’t know how much blood it would take.”

Was it possible? Unlike Tristan, I wasn’t willing to slice my hand open to prove whether I was an ordinary human or a freak of nature.

“And if it’s only a drop?” Marissa asked, letting her eyes fall on each of the other Lycan. “Ericka can infect a human with just one drop of her blood. Could Janie be the same? Could she cure us with only a drop? Shouldn’t we try it?”

“What if it doesn’t work? What if the chances of survival are the same as those when a human is infected?” Adam glared at her. “Would you volunteer to test it out? Are you prepared to die to be human? Are you prepared to risk the lives of everyone else in the community on a chance?”

“He’s right,” Katrina agreed. “We aren’t ready to test anything. Now that we know about Janie, Ericka can ask the Northern Council to prepare the labs and find Lycan trained to do that type of work. But for now, we must keep her identity a secret. If Kas finds out...”

Chapter 20

Tristan and I hiked down to a small waterfall. We didn’t talk and I knew he did it to give me time. Time to digest everything I’d learned. Time to form the words I would say to Lukas. Hearing his version of what happened hadn’t dissolved the resentment that had burst forth last night, but it had answered the basic question of why he’d left.

What was left now was how. How could he have just walked away? Tim had been given that choice. When Elin left, Tim could have turned me over to social services, but instead he’d gone through the long drawn out process of adopting me. Tim was and will always be my father. Lukas was…the sperm donor.

I thought of Kyle and knew I’d talk with him later on. He’d always been nice to me and he’d been a good friend to Justin and me since we’d arrived. I had no doubt that me being his sister would be a surprise to him. He was too honest of a person to hide something like that.

Rachel, well. I wasn’t really interested in talking to her. As far as I could tell, she’d known about Lukas being my father. Beth wasn’t even in Everod so I didn’t have to deal with her yet. I shoved the two of them to the back of my mind, unable to focus any part of myself on them. I needed to make sense of everything else first. Lycan, Lukas, and Elin were enough to handle for now.

We reached a small pool of water and I looked up at the waterfall. It was more beautiful than I’d expected. At the top, it cascaded over and around a series of rocks, before plunging softly to the pool at its base. The pool was still, broken only where the gentle falls hit the surface. I was tempted to pull off my boots and socks to dip my feet in. I could see a large black stone sitting among the red and brown pebbles settled along the floor of the pool. I leaned over the water, intent on picking it out.

“Don’t be fooled,” Tristan said. “The pool is over ten feet deep.”

“You’re joking, right?” I asked.

“No. The clarity is deceptive, making it look only inches deep. But if you don’t believe me, you’re welcome to jump in.” A grin crinkled his eyes in a dare as he looked at me, “Just don’t expect me to go in after you. This is straight from the mountain top and ice cold year round.”

“Maybe if it was heated,” I said, pulling back from the pool.

Tristan pulled off his windbreaker, spreading it on the ground, and we sat down. He wrapped an arm around me, his body heat adding an extra layer of warmth to what the summer sun already provided. I wondered if this ability was normal for a Lycan. Well, normal in the sense of the science fiction world. I’d never been a fan of science fiction or fantasy kind of writing. The world of the paranormal was new to me, and I wondered if I would have been better prepared to deal with everything being thrown at me if I had bothered to read any. Did paranormal even qualify as science fiction or fantasy?

“Is this part of the infection?” I asked.

“Is what?”

“The heat. You’re always warm. Not hot, just exactly the right temperature to warm me up.”

“In a way. Our healing helps us regulate our bodies better. You’re always shivering, so my body heats up involuntarily when you touch me. If you were too warm then I’d cool down.”

“What else can you do?” I asked, anxious now to know everything about him, about this infection that may even now be coursing through me. “Can you read peoples thoughts, or move objects with your mind?”

“No, nothing like that. Everything we can do is linked to us physically. The healing, the temperature control, the aging are all the infection’s way of surviving.”

“But what about premonitions? Ericka predicted you’d find me.”

“Yeah, I’m not so sure she had a premonition as much as she knew about you moving here and that we’d eventually meet.”

“Do you still believe my blood holds the cure?”

“I don’t know if I ever believed it completely.” He let go of me to lay back and stare up into the sky. “It’s different for my folks. They were around when Clara made the promise. It was a big deal for everyone then. Since then, the lab in the Northern community hasn’t had any luck in finding any kind of anomalies in Lukas’ and his sister’s blood. If there really was a cure, someone would have found something.”

“What if I am?”

“Then we’ll deal with it.”

“And if it means I have to die?”

“That won’t happen.” He sat up and framed my face in his hands. “We won’t let that happen.”

His lips pressed against mine and I relaxed into him, letting myself be drawn into an oblivion where only the two of us existed. When we broke apart for air, I stared at the falls, watching the water meld together, like two beings becoming one. The rushing water meeting the calm serenity of the pool, the point of impact on the surface rippled in aftermath and underneath it was deep and turbulent. It was stunning in its joining. Without each other, the water would fall endlessly and the pool would stagnate.

Tristan had saved me from languishing in self-pitying self-preservation, and I knew that he would catch me if I fell. I would accept him the way he was, because I couldn’t do anything else. When I was with him, I was alive. He’d made me realize that I was a beautiful person and deserved to be loved. The infection, the shape shifting didn’t change who he was, only what he could do.

“What if I could be infected? What if Clara was wrong and my immunity is simply a product of lack of exposure?” I asked.

“The only way to be sure would be to try infecting you, and that could end up killing you if you weren’t immune.”

“Would you want me to be infected? To be a Lycan?” I asked, not sure what I wanted him to say. To say no implied that he didn’t want me forever, but to say yes meant that he wanted me to be condemned to the very torment he claimed he wanted release from. I watched his eyes darken as he carefully formed his reply.

“Janie, I love you.” He didn’t give me a chance to respond, bending his head he kissed me. Everything faded except him and the feel of his arms around me. The gentle falls became deafening, pounding out any thoughts I had.

We stood up and began the trek back to the house; it was hard to describe it as a cabin, when the sheer size of it was that of a fortress. We were almost back when I realized Tristan hadn’t answered my question. Hearing him say ‘I love you’ may have caused my chest to squeeze painfully in joy, but it didn’t tell me anything.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye as he walked beside me. It was frightening to realize how important he’d become to me in such a short time. It was even scarier to think about how much I’d changed since meeting him. That first day he’d made me see how lonely I truly was, and every day since he’d brought me further and further into the world. Now in one weekend the sense of security he’d created around us was torn down and I was back to facing the fear of my mother again.

The house came into view and I could see Seth and Lisa tossing their bags into one of the SUVs, while Katrina and Adam rocked on the porch swing. These people had accepted me regardless of my reservations or my parents. And despite the growing trepidation I had about my mom, I felt safe. Tristan and his family wouldn’t let anything happen to me.

Tristan’s last words pulsed through me, a repetitive surge that gained strength with each beat of my heart. I don’t know what the future was holding for me, if Tristan was going to be there, but I knew I wanted him there with every breath in my body.

“I love you.” The words were a whisper, barely audible to even me, but he heard them. His hand tightened around mine and the corners of his lips relaxed.

It felt good to say those words. Three simple words that I couldn’t ever remember saying in all seriousness before. I suppose I’d said them once to my mom, maybe even Lukas when I’d thought of him as my father, and in joking with Tim and Justin. But today, saying them to Tristan was liberating. No matter what transpired between my mom and me, or even with Lukas, I loved someone, and he knew it.

As we got closer to the porch, the calming of Tristan’s touch increased. Lukas stepped through the doorway coming to lean against the post. I needed to speak to him, to get it over with. For a moment, I considered asking Tristan to stay with me. But like ripping a band-aid off, it was better to do it quickly and without an audience to see the blood and puss underneath.

I clenched his hand as we mounted the steps. When we stopped, I forced my fingers to unfurl, abandoning myself to the turmoil that began rolling inside me.

“Adam, Tristan, could you help me move some furniture upstairs?” Katrina pushed herself out of the swing.

Tristan and Adam followed her lead and I stood alone in front of Lukas. I turned and looked out at the field blanketed with rich emerald grass. A deeper green filled the trees.

“Janie,” Lukas started with a sigh. “There are so many things I want to know about you, so many things I want to tell you that I don’t even know where to begin.”

I closed my eyes and tried to summon the calm I’d felt only minutes before. I counted to ten under my breath, twice.

“I remember you,” I said, keeping my eyes shut, the memory flashing before me. “Your hair was long, almost as long as mine is. You had on a pair of faded blue jeans, the back pocket was ripped part way off. You were wearing a blue-checkered shirt, and you drove a cherry red Chevy. It had the loudest backfire when you started the engine.”

I opened my eyes and shifted so I could see him. He stood up and leaned against the railing only a few feet from me. “I don’t know your face. The back of you is all I remember.”

“Janie, I-” he cut himself off, as if unsure what to say.

“I wanted to know why you left. Now I do. I can definitely understand your fear of all of this.” His sigh this time was one of relief. “But what I don’t understand is how? How could you leave me? If it was so terrible, if Elin was such a horrible person that you couldn’t deal with it, how could you leave me there with her?”

He didn’t say anything, just let his shoulders slump. He had no answer. How could there be any answer that wouldn’t be horribly selfish and irresponsible? I didn’t want to hear it. It was better to have the vain hope that maybe he had just been ignorant of her ways.

“My life was hell from the moment you pulled out of the drive to the day she walked out on me. Even after she left, I lived like she stood behind me ready to strike at any moment.” I could hear my voice trembling with anger, could feel it pouring through me. I slowed my breathing trying to regain control. I wished briefly that I had let Tristan stay, just for that extra reassurance, but I knew I could get through this.

“I can forgive you for leaving. Maybe one day I’ll even forget that you turned your back on me. But you are not my father.” He straightened, staring at me with his brown eyes, the exact shade as mine. “My father is Tim Moore. He’s fed me, clothed me, and loved me for longer than you ever did. And I know that without a doubt he will love me until the day I die.”