Waking Rose: A Fairy Tale Retold (21 page)

Hers

“Kateri, I really think he likes me.”

Kateri, who was drying her hair with a towel, didn’t answer for a moment, and Rose, putting on her clothes, actually grew a bit hopeful. It was Monday morning, and Rose’s confusion had been sorting itself out for the past forty-eight hours.

But when Kateri emerged from the towel, her eyes were weary. “All right. And why do you think this?”

“Just because of how he’s acting. He’s been…” Rose’s voice trailed away in front of her roommate’s stare.

“Proof, Rose. Where’s the proof?” Kateri folded her arms.

“Well, he’s coming to all of my plays...”

Kateri shook her head. “Has he said anything? In my experience, a guy isn’t serious until he says something.”

“Well, he hasn’t.”

“Then put it out of your head, roomie,” Kateri commanded. “Don’t be fooled. Besides, aren’t you going to the dance with Paul this weekend?”

“Uh, yeah.” Rose blushed.  She had forgotten that she had been practicing regularly with Paul the entire week before the play started, and had been enjoying herself.

“Then think about Paul. If Fish likes you, let him do the work. You’re doing too much for him. You always have.” 

She ran a hand through her tangled hair. “You’re learning ballroom dancing with Paul too, right?”

“Yes.”

“In that kind of dancing, does the woman dance forward or backward?”

“Backward.”

“When she goes backwards, what does the guy do?”

“He dances forward.”

“Get the picture?”

“Yes,” Rose said, suddenly ashamed. “Yes, I think so.”

At least she had five days to immerse herself in regular life before she had to see him again.  That was a relief.

She
had
to do something about her bioethics paper, which was starting to hover over her head like the sword of Damocles, threatening to fall and take her grade point average with it. The longest paper she had ever had to write, she thought dismally. And she had never found the notes in the family barn from her dad’s interviews, which she felt was the key to finding a direction for this paper. She kept intending to go back, but hadn’t yet found the chance. The inevitable was coming: she would have to change her topic, to the more prosaic matter of the ethical treatment of comatose patients. Since her sister had been in a coma once, it was something she actually knew a bit about.

Dr. Cooper wanted them to submit their topics for approval this week, so she took some time after class to tell him what she was thinking of doing.

“That sounds very promising,” he said. “Now, you know I prefer that you do interviews with actual medical professionals working in the field, as opposed to just doing Internet research. You’ll learn more from talking to an actual person.”

“But who can I interview?” she asked, and added, “I’d like to avoid talking to anyone at the Meyerstown hospital if I can...you know, it’s so controversial over there with them doing late abortions and so on.”

“Understood. Actually, there is a facility that cares for patients in comas a few miles outside of Meyerstown. The director is a Dr. Madelyn Murray. Perhaps you could get an interview with someone there—a nurse, a staff doctor. How’s that for a start?”

“That helps a lot,” Rose said gratefully, scribbling down the information in her special “Monster Bioethics Paper!” notebook. Maybe she wasn’t in the deadlock that she had thought she was in.

Paul was hanging around after class when she came out. “Hey Rose, how’s it going?”

“Better,” she said. “I just settled on a topic for my paper.”

“Awesome. Did you stick with abuse or go to comas?”

“Comas. Because I just haven’t had time to go back to the barn to find the notes my dad had on patient abuse,” Rose said. “What about you?”

“I’m doing some email correspondence with someone in Taiwan about Chinese medicine and cannibalism. It’s pretty horrendous stuff. I should show you some time.”

“Sure,” she said, swallowing. “Whenever you want!”

H
IS

The next week Fish tried hard to throw himself back into his routine. He strictly avoided reading John Keats, but otherwise he studied and worked as usual.
Don’t think about her,
he directed himself.
It’ll only lead to more grief.

But it was useless. The Indian summer weather and blue skies brought her to mind, as did the swirl of flamboyant red leaves on the sidewalk. And he was in the wrong field insofar as avoiding topics relating to women, beauty, or love. Even the most ponderous and clunky modern poetry seemed to be about Rose, if only in the negative sense, demonstrating what she was not. After a few days, it seemed as though everything in his world was conspiring against his attempt to forget her. Things that normally he had never paid much attention to seemed to shout out at him, and point to Rose.

Like it or not, he was on an emotional roller coaster, feeling surges of wonder and pleasure followed by the unholy trinity of disturbing resentment, cold harshness, and then morose depression.

How much worse was it going to be when he actually saw Rose?

There was no way he could avoid seeing her, unless he wanted to be a jerk and break his spoken promise to see all her plays. In addition, Blanche and Bear were coming up Friday, and he had already committed to seeing them. There was nothing to do but suck it up and go through with it.

Hers

Friday, Rose sang all morning because Bear and Blanche were coming to see her. When she finally saw them driving on campus at noon, her happiness bubbled over in excitement. She sprinted over to their car and hugged Bear through the rolled-down window.

“Oh I’ve missed you both so much!” she gasped. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

Blanche laughed at her. “We’ve missed you too!” she leaned over and kissed her sister, and Rose patted her sister’s stomach.

“And a baby! I just can’t get over it!”

“Neither can I,” Blanche confessed.

“I suppose I should let you park!” Rose glanced out the window and saw cars behind them on the campus drive. “You can come to class with me! I have theology and medical ethics. They’re both super classes!”

“Sounds great,” Bear said.

Every normal activity was a bit more exciting, having Bear and Blanche along, explaining things to them and showing them things and introducing  them to the wide gamut of people she now called “friends.” Up until that moment, Rose hadn’t realized how proud she was of her school and how happy she was to be there. Of course, no place on this earth was going to be perfect, but she was learning why Alex had asked her, as a matter of course, if she thought life at Mercy College was heaven on earth.
Just a fragment of what’s to come,
she told herself.
That’s good enough for me. Probably all we mortals can bear.

They ate dinner at the cafeteria just for the experience of it, and then sat around the student lounge and talked until Rose had to get ready for the play.

“How are you doing with Fish?” Blanche queried.

“
I’m
fine,” Rose said significantly. But she didn’t want to say any more. She had already decided that if anything of import were going on in that area, her sister, with her keen observational powers, would discover it on her own.

H
IS

Duty calls.
Friday night he showed up at the theatre and met Blanche and Bear in the lobby. They both looked good, as usual, and Blanche, who didn’t look as though she were expecting a baby at all, seemed to have an additional glow about her.

When he greeted them, he noticed that his sister-in-law looked at him twice, as though she had noticed that his nose had grown three centimeters longer. He attempted to be blithe and normal in their presence.

“Is this your first time up here?” Fish asked his brother as they sat down in the theatre before the play.

“Yes,” Bear said. “Backwater place, isn’t it? But Rose showed us around the campus this afternoon. They could use better buildings—even the new ones are atrocious in terms of design—but the students are really something.” He chuckled. “Kateri Kovach cracks me up. I’ve met some of her older brothers and sisters before and thought they were wild, but she really takes the cake.”

Bear and Blanche enjoyed the play, although Blanche said it was really almost unbearably depressing at parts. “I keep wishing that Cordelia could have escaped somehow,” she said at the end. “It just doesn’t seem fair.”

“I know,” Fish said, getting to his feet to clap for Rose at the curtain call. You almost needed the curtain call after a play like this one. It was a sort of miniature resurrection from the dead, seeing as half the characters of the cast had died in the course of the performance.

“Touches on something greater,” Bear said to Fish, apparently having similar thoughts.

When Rose joined them after the play was over, she was jubilant, her face all aglow. “Let’s do something!” Rose exclaimed as they emerged into the night air.

“Do you want to go out?” Bear asked.

“Yes!” she said. “Let’s go for a walk in the woods in the moonlight.”

“There’s not really a moon out tonight,” logic compelled Fish to point out.

“Then the starlight,” Rose said, refusing to be flustered.

Fish looked critically up at the smog-filled sky and sighed. “All right,” he said.

“There are woods near here,” Rose explained, “that are the perfect sort of place to go when it’s nighttime. Of course, I don’t go all by myself—but with two strong men to accompany us, we can brave the forest even at night, sister.”

Blanche laughed at her. “If one of us twists an ankle, can we blame you? All right. After a day in the car, it sounds wonderful. I need to exercise for the baby anyhow.”

So they trudged up the hills, across the soccer fields, and onto the trails surrounding Mercy College. As they went, they talked, and time slipped into timelessness for a while.

Fish found he had a respite, drawing upon the strength of their past associations. Here they were, the four friends, together again. Sure, Bear was a bit more relaxed and public about his affection for Blanche now that they were married—Fish noticed the two of them stayed much closer together, and that Bear had nonchalantly kept his hand on Blanche’s knee during the play, something he had never done when they were dating. Their married companionship had begun to weather their affection so that they seemed to be even more than ever, a couple, two people who fit together. As for Blanche, she looked as serenely lovely as ever, and more tranquil than Fish had ever seen her. But aside from that, the four of them—two sisters, two brothers, four friends—were the same jovial companions. And Fish found to his relief that his mask of normality wasn’t needed for now. He could treat Rose as he had always treated her.

But despite the fact that he still baited her and argued with her as he was used to doing when the four of them were together, Fish found himself being quieter in Rose’s presence. Her constant chatter had always slightly annoyed him—now he found himself listening to it, conscious that he might have missed something.

Unfortunately, he had difficulty looking at her. That beauty of hers was particularly worrisome. Tonight, on a ramble in the woods, Rose, being Rose, was wearing a black wool turtleneck sweater and an orangish skirt of some thin floating crinkled material (which now had burrs and prickers stuck to the hem). He noticed again that she was always wearing bright colors like red, pink, teal, purple—or black. He had never been sure they were the best tones for her fair freckled skin. Her skin—in the turtleneck, the only skin that showed was her face. Rose wasn’t the type of girl who showed much of her skin, or who flaunted her beauty with tight clothes and short skirts. Hers was always hidden behind something soft and draping, but it was there. He studied the back of her head in the spots of moonlight as she walked ahead of him, talking, and observed that her neck was quite delicate. The fact that so little of her skin showed made its occasional appearance—as now, when she shook her pony tail—more alluring.

“Fish,” Blanche said from behind him, and startled, he recognized that his sister-in-law had been speaking to him. He glanced over his shoulder. There was an almost knowing expression on Blanche’s face.

“What is it, Mona Lisa?” he asked, hiding his discomfiture.

She gave him a slight smile as she came up beside him while the company paused beside a scenic overlook. “I asked how the teaching was going.”

“Oh, it’s going,” he said, relieved to talk of familiar academics.

“How have you been doing recently?”

“Well, thank you. Why do you ask?”

“You look much better than the last time I saw you.”

“Oh,” he was surprised.

“Less stressed,” she said.

“Well, I guess I am,” he admitted, unsure of what to say.

Blanche gave him her slight smile, and turned her perceptive eyes away from his.

Embarrassed, he wondered how long he had been watching Rose under Blanche’s gaze.

As the four of them started back towards campus, Fish dragged behind the other three, hands in his pockets, slouching and solitary. Blanche and Rose were walking ahead, together, talking about usual sister things. Bear was humming to himself as he strode along. Only Fish felt alone. As they headed for the campus, he looked up at the cloud-streaked night sky, and reminded himself to stay balanced. Regardless of any passing attraction he might have for Rose, he had to watch her closely, and protect her, from Donna or from whatever menace the old nun had warned him about so enigmatically.

About all I’m fit for.

Hers

“So where’d Bear go this morning?” Rose asked her sister.

“Rock climbing, with Fish,” Blanche said, sitting in Rose’s dorm room in the comfortable chair. “Fish picked him up at the bed-and-breakfast and they took off. Bear left the car with me, so we can go shopping or antiquing or flea marketing or whatever we desire to do, to our heart’s content.” She gave her sister a wily smile. “I thought that was very clever of Bear.”