Waking Up in Charleston (25 page)

“Don’t bother with the tea,” Amanda told her. “I’ll get it.”

When the women were gone, Caleb sat in a rocker, wondering if the motion would soothe him, too. To be sure, the back-and-forth motion did have a calming effect, but he still hadn’t found the answers he needed.

Then, when Amanda returned, the issue was taken
out of his hands. She sat down in the rocker beside him. The kids were playing hide-and-seek in the last dusky light of the summer day.

“There’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately,” Amanda said, breaking the comfortable silence. “Ever since Savannah, in fact.”

“Oh?” He became suddenly wary.

“I know a woman is supposed to wait for a man to make up his mind, but I don’t think I have time for that.”

Caleb regarded her with alarm. “What on earth are you talking about?”

She looked directly into his eyes and blurted, “I think we should get married.”

He stared at her blankly. He’d known Savannah would push things to a new level for them, but he hadn’t expected this.

“You’re asking me to marry you?” he asked, just to be sure.

She grinned at him. “Sounded like that to me. Didn’t I make myself clear enough? I love you, Caleb. You have to know I would never have gone to bed with you in Savannah if I didn’t. I know I told you it didn’t have to lead to anything, but I’ve changed my mind since I’ve seen how fast Daddy seems to be slipping. I don’t want to wait. I want us to be a family. I want us to have a baby, maybe even two. And I think it would make Daddy happy to see me settled with someone he respects, too. I want to give him that.”

He seized on the one part he was ready to deal with. “So, this is just about making Max happy?”

“No,” she insisted. “It’s about making us a family.”

Joy burst inside him, then withered and died. “I can’t.”

Her expression faltered. “You can’t? Why?”

“You don’t…” Caleb swallowed hard. “You don’t know everything about me.”

“I know everything that matters. You’re kind and decent and strong. I trust you with my life and with my kids. What could be more important?”

Caleb knew it was now or never. It wasn’t fair to let her think he didn’t want her, didn’t love her. She had to understand that he was only trying to protect her, save her from heartbreak.

She frowned at his silence. “Caleb, answer me. What could be so important that it would keep us apart?”

“You just said it yourself. You want more children, Amanda. You deserve them.” He drew in a deep breath and finally blurted the words that had been eating away at him for years. “And I can’t give them to you.”

Amanda saw the shame and embarrassment in Caleb’s eyes and felt her heart twist. She knew she needed to handle this exactly right or he would walk away from her out of some misguided notion that he couldn’t give her what she needed. She’d already had one man in her life who’d felt inadequate. She wouldn’t tolerate another one misjudging what mattered most to her.

“You think that having another child is more important to me than you?” she demanded.

“I’ve heard you say more than once that you want more children, Amanda. There’s no use denying it now to make me feel better. I can’t give them to you and that’s that.”

She continued to regard him with disbelief. “And
that’s the only reason you won’t marry me? Because you can’t have children?”

“I’d say that’s a good enough reason,” Caleb said stiffly.

“Not to me,” she said heatedly. “Why would you ever imagine that the quality of your sperm is more important to me than the man you are? Am I that shallow? Is my love so unreliable?”

“No, of course not. It’s just that…”

“Just that what?”

“It was important enough for my wife to leave me,” he said, barely managing to choke out the words.

“
That’s
why you got divorced?” she asked incredulously. “Whatever happened to ‘for better or for worse’?”

“How could I blame her for breaking those vows? She wanted children.”

“Hadn’t she ever heard about adoption?”

“She wanted her own,” Caleb said, still determined to defend his ex-wife.

“Because of the whole childbirth experience?” Amanda asked. “Trust me, it’s not that much fun.”

Caleb’s lips twitched. “I think she was more focused on the miracle aspect of it. I felt it myself last night when I was at the hospital praying for Mary Louise’s baby to have a chance.”

“Every child is a miracle. It doesn’t matter who gives birth to him or her. Of all people,
you
should certainly understand that.”

“I do,” he said, but without much conviction.

She cupped his face and looked into his eyes. “Tell me something, Caleb. Do you love my kids?”

“Of course.”

“Do you see the way they look up to you, the way they care about you?”

“I suppose.”

“That’s the love and respect they’d show a father. It doesn’t matter that it’s not your blood flowing through their veins.”

His eyes brightened at last. “You really don’t care about this?” he asked, an incredulous note in his voice.

Amanda chose her next words very carefully. “I care, because I can see how much it matters to you. I would love to carry your baby inside me. But would I let something like that rip us apart? Not a chance.”

Though his expression was lighter, he still hesitated. “I think you should take some time. Think this through.”

“I don’t have to,” she said emphatically.

“Then do it because I want you to. I want you to be very sure, because if we get married, Amanda, I’ll never let you go.”

Her heart leapt at his promise, but for now she merely nodded and said, “I’ll think about it.”

She knew she wouldn’t think long.

“You gonna marry my girl?” Max asked Caleb a few days later. “I figure a man in your position sleeps with a woman, then he must be serious about her. Am I wrong?”

Caleb fought back the desire to chuckle. Apparently no one in this family was willing to wait around for him to do the asking.

“Amanda asked me pretty much the same thing the other night.”

Max looked horrified. “You waited so long that she had to ask you? What’s wrong with you, man?”

“Just trying to do the right thing,” Caleb said.

“Who left it up you to decide what’s right? I made that mistake once and look at all the years it cost me. Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Then get the show on the road while I’m still able to walk her down the aisle.”

“I’m afraid it’s out of my hands. I tossed the ball back into her court.”

Max glowered at him. “Why did you do a damn fool thing like that?”

Caleb winced at Max’s displeasure. “It seemed like a smart thing to do at the time.”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, do I have to take care of this for you?”

Caleb saw the grim determination in Max’s eyes and felt momentary panic. “Absolutely not. I’m not entirely sure having you on my side will work in my favor.”

Max stared hard at him, then sat back and hooted. “You could be right about that, son. There are a lot of days lately when I think that girl’s forgiven me, but sometimes I see a look in her eyes that tells me she hasn’t forgotten what I did to her.”

“Isn’t that what real forgiveness is all about?” Caleb asked. “We remember the hurt, but we forgive, anyway, and we move on.”

“Maybe that’s the one good thing about this disease I’ve got. Sooner or later, I’ll forget the bad times I’ve had in my life, the sins I’ve committed.”

“That may be a blessing,” Caleb agreed. “But losing the good memories, too, that’s the unfairness of it.”

Max sighed heavily. “You and Amanda and those kids of hers will just have to do the remembering for me.”

M
ary Louise walked gingerly down the hospital hallway to Willie Ron’s room. To her surprise, when she went inside, she found Danny sitting beside his bed. They were deep in conversation about the police arresting Parnell and his no-account friends when Willie Ron spotted her.

“Looks like we’ve got company,” he said to Danny. “It’s these quiet ones you have to keep an eye on. They sneak up on you.”

Looking scared, Danny bolted out of his chair and took her arm. “Are you okay? Should you be out of bed? You almost lost the baby once. Are you trying to do it again?”

Mary Louise regarded him with a mixture of impatience and amusement. “The doctor told me to walk. The crisis is over for now and he wants me to get some exercise before he lets me out of here tomorrow.”

“Seems too soon to me,” Danny said. “I want to talk to him myself. I know you, Mary Louise. You’re likely to twist his words to suit your own purposes.”

She scowled at the accusation. “I most certainly will not twist his words, not if it could put my baby at risk.”

“Uh-oh,” Willie Ron murmured from his bed. “If
you two are about to have yourselves a brawl, take it somewhere else.”

Mary Louise grinned at him. “No brawl. I’m just going to remind Danny that he has no right whatsoever to go talking to my doctor about anything.”

Danny stared at her. “Is that so? That baby inside you is mine, too, and I have a right to protect it. Besides that, I asked you to marry me not two days ago, and I’m still waiting for an answer. It’s downright rude to ignore a question that important.”

Willie Ron chuckled and Mary Louise frowned at him before she whirled on Danny. “If you’re going to ask something that important, don’t you think you ought to make sure a person is conscious before you do it?”

Danny regarded her with confusion. “Did you hear me or didn’t you?”

“I
thought
I heard you, but for all I knew, I could have been dreaming. I’ve been waiting for you to get around to repeating it. I figured if it wasn’t just some momentary panic sort of thing or wishful thinking on my part, you’d ask me again.”

Danny cast a helpless look toward Willie Ron, who merely shrugged. “I were you, I’d be down on one knee about now,” he told Danny.

“Maybe we could go someplace a little more private,” Danny said.

Mary Louise hid a grin at his sudden discomfort and shook her head. “If you ask me to marry you and really mean it, I want a witness so you can’t back out later.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” Danny muttered, but he dropped to one knee and reached for her hand.

Mary Louise stared at him in astonishment. Until this instant, she hadn’t really believed he intended to do it.
She’d convinced herself that he’d only said the words when he was worried she might die on him.

“The other night when I thought I could lose you and our baby, I’ve never been more scared in my life,” he began.

Huh, she thought. Proves my point. “But you didn’t lose either of us,” she said.

“Would you hush and let me say this?” he pleaded.

“Yes, please, before my sedative kicks in,” Willie Ron chimed in.

Mary Louise shut up.

“I realized then just how much I love you,” Danny continued. “And how much I want to be a real father to our baby, no half measures. So, I’m asking you again in front of God and one witness who will probably beat me to a pulp if I mess this up again, will you please do me the honor of being my wife? And would you do it quick, before this baby comes? He or she seems impatient.”

Mary Louise saw the sincerity and love shining from his eyes. Tears welled up in her own and spilled down her cheeks. “Oh, Danny,” she whispered, her heart overflowing.

“Is that a yes?” Willie Ron asked impatiently. “All this dillydallying is getting on my nerves.”

Mary Louise laughed and launched herself into Danny’s arms. “Yes,” she said jubilantly. “Yes, I’ll marry you and make a family with you.”

“Seems to me like you’ve got a head start on that,” Willie Ron noted. “Now, go away, so I can get my beauty sleep.”

“As if you could be any handsomer than you already are,” Mary Louise said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “In
fact, you’re so good-looking, I think I’ll have you stand up for me at our wedding.”

“Now, won’t that be a pretty sight,” Willie Ron murmured. There was a smile on his lips as he drifted off.

She turned to Danny. “You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

“He protected you and our baby,” Danny said. “I’d say he’s in our life to stay. I’ll owe him for that till the day I die.”

She gave his hand a grateful squeeze. He winked at her.

“Want to go back to your room and make wedding plans?” he asked.

“Sweetie, we won’t need to do much planning,” she told him. “I’ve had my wedding all worked out since I was four. We’ll just have to tweak it a little to make sure we can pull it together before I’m too huge to waddle down the aisle.”

“You’d still be the prettiest bride ever,” Danny said. His expression sobered. “I’m going to make you happy, Mary Louise. That’s a promise.”

“Oh, Danny,” she whispered, her voice choked with tears. “Don’t you know, you already have?”

Caleb’s mind wasn’t on their card game, Max concluded when he won three straight hands. “What the devil’s gotten into you?” he demanded. “There’s not much point in playing if you’re not going to concentrate.”

“I thought you’d be happy to win some of your money back,” Caleb retorted.

“Well, I would be, if I thought I was winning it fair and square and not because your head’s a million miles away. Haven’t you talked Amanda into marrying you yet?”

Caleb scowled at him. “I told you, I left the decision up to her.”

“And I told you you were a damn fool,” Max said in disgust. “What kind of man leaves his destiny up to somebody else?”

“One who’s trying to do the right thing,” Caleb said.

Max studied him. “Is there something I don’t know about you? You got a bunch of skeletons kicking around in the closet?”

“None that concern you,” Caleb assured him.

“But they might matter to my daughter?”

“They might,” Caleb acknowledged.

“Care to explain that?”

“No.”

Max glowered at him, but Caleb didn’t wilt—or change his mind. He just dealt another hand and feigned concentration on his cards.

“Okay, be that way,” Max muttered just as the doorbell rang. “Now, who on earth would that be at this hour?”

“Want me to go answer it?” Caleb asked.

Max heaved himself up. “The day I can’t answer my own door is the day I take to my bed and give up.”

He walked to the front door, flung it open impatiently and then stared in shock at the woman standing there. “Margaret!”

Her confident expression wavered ever so slightly. “Max, it’s good to see you.”

Max felt as if someone had yanked the rug right out from under him. “Wh-what are you doing here?” he asked, thoroughly flustered.

“If you’ll ask me in, I’ll explain,” she said, her lips curving into a small smile.

He backed up a step. “Of course,” he said, his heart
thundering in his chest every bit as hard as it had on the day he’d waited at the altar for her to say “I do.”

She walked past him and headed straight for the living room, barely sparing a glance for anything along the way. Only when she spotted Caleb did she hesitate.

“Reverend Webb, I wasn’t expecting to find you here. I thought Max would be alone. That’s why I called so late in the evening.”

“Please, call me Caleb. We were just playing a few hands of poker. Since Max is winning for a change, you’ve given me the perfect excuse to call it a night.”

Max wasn’t at all sure he wanted him to go. He’d been feeling okay most of the evening and his mind hadn’t betrayed him, but he wanted backup in case that changed. “Stay,” he ordered, drawing surprised looks from both of them.

Caleb seemed to catch on quick enough. He nodded and sat back down. Margaret shot a questioning look in his direction, but then sat on the edge of the sofa, her hands folded in her lap. Max sat in his favorite chair and took the time to look at her.

She was more self-possessed than she’d been as a young wife. Her face had matured, though there was hardly a line in it. She’d dyed her glorious hair a dark shade of red. Despite his earlier misgivings, he was forced to admit it suited her. It seemed to emphasize the sparkle in her blue eyes.

“I suppose you’re wondering why I came after all this time,” she said eventually.

He nodded. “Seems like a logical question.”

“Amanda told me you’re sick,” she began.

Max felt something inside him shrivel and die. “So
you came to make sure I’ve taken care of you in my will,” he accused. “Amanda should have kept her mouth shut.”

Margaret looked vaguely taken aback by the venom in his voice. “Actually, I came because of something else Amanda said. I wanted to ask your forgiveness.” She paused, then, “I treated you badly, Max. Over the years I’ve regretted it more than I can say, but I couldn’t bring myself to call or write it in a note. I figured you wouldn’t believe me, anyway. Or that it wouldn’t matter in the end, even if you did think I was sincere.”

Max recalled the day Margaret had walked out of their lives as if it had happened yesterday. She’d taken his heart with her. He’d alternated between hating her for that and missing her desperately, especially when he was at a loss with Amanda. He’d always believed Margaret would have known how to keep their girl safe and happy. Instead, he’d been left to muddle along doing the best he could. Thank God he’d had Jessie.

“You can’t change the past,” he told her now. “And regrets are a waste of time. I’ve had more than my share and they haven’t changed a blessed thing. All you can do is accept where you are and move on.”

She regarded him with curiosity. “You’ve changed,” she said. “You’re more mellow now.”

Max gave a shout of laughter. “I imagine there are plenty of folks who’d dispute that.”

“You know what I find sad?” she asked.

“What’s that?”

“You say that moving on is what’s important, but you haven’t done that, not really. Neither have I.”

“Of course we have,” he insisted. “Years have
passed, Margaret, and we’ve lived them. We haven’t holed up somewhere in isolation.”

“True, but is that all there is to moving on?” she asked. “You never asked for a divorce, Max.”

He got her point and it rankled in a way he couldn’t entirely explain. “Neither did you,” he retorted defensively.

“As I said, neither of us took that final step to move on with our lives. We kept the tie. Why do you suppose that is?”

He shrugged. “Never saw the need to get a piece of paper. Besides, we’d told people you were dead. I couldn’t very well ask for a divorce from a woman who was supposed to be in her grave. You could have gotten one, though. You could have gone off to some island, gotten a quickie divorce with no one here being the wiser. Why didn’t you?”

Her gaze locked with his. “I think because some part of me always knew I’d come back here someday.”

Max felt his heart leap, then his temper. “Hold on just a cotton-pickin’ minute, woman. Are you telling me you want to come home at this late date and turn the last thirty years into a lie? You’d humiliate me like that, after all I did to give you the freedom you insisted you had to have?”

“Max,” Caleb said softly. “No need to work yourself up.”

“There damn well is a need! I won’t have it,” he said, slamming his fist on the arm of his chair. “I won’t be made a fool of.” He scowled at this woman he’d loved for so many years despite what she’d done to him. “What made you think for a minute I’d agree to this?”

“I thought…” Her voice faltered. “I thought you might need me.”

“Well, I don’t,” he blustered. “I’ve gotten along just fine without you and that’s the way it’ll stay.”

Her expression turned sad. “I see. I suppose you’re right. I suppose it’s far too complicated, which is why you insisted on doing things this way in the first place. You wanted to be sure that coming back wouldn’t be an option, didn’t you?”

“Well, of course I did. I did it for Amanda’s sake.” He scowled. “Did you give one second’s thought to her? Do you think she wants you here after you abandoned her?”

“I was hoping for a chance to make peace with her, too,” she said. “But I can see that coming here was a mistake.” She stood up. “I’m sorry I’ve upset you, Max. I really am.”

“Hold on a minute,” he commanded when she started to walk away. “That’s it? I say no to this crazy plan of yours and you just walk away?”

She regarded him curiously. “What did you expect?”

“I expected you to fight to stay the same way you fought to go,” he told her fiercely. “I expected you to make me believe that staying really matters to you.”

“You want me to fight you on this?” she asked.

“The Margaret I knew could hold her own with anybody, even me,” he said. “Not many people could do that. I suppose that’s why I never forgot you. Don’t destroy my memories now. I haven’t got that many good ones left.”

She cast a helpless look at Caleb, then chuckled. “You always were the most perverse man on the face of the earth, Max. I’m glad to see that hasn’t changed.”

He frowned at her. “Well, then?” he prodded.

“I’m still going,” she said, then touched his cheek with a brief caress. “But I’ll be back from time to time, so you start figuring out what you want to tell people about my miraculous recovery.”

Damn, but she was a pistol. Always had been. He grinned at her. “Maybe I’ll just keep you hidden away here and let them think I’ve lost what little’s left of my mind. The whole town will be talking about me spending my final days talking to a ghost.”

“That’s one approach,” she agreed wryly. “But it might be hard on Amanda and our grandchildren.” Her expression sobered. “Max, you were right about one thing. Before I start spending too much time around here, talk it over with Amanda and see how she feels about it. I know I haven’t earned the right to come back in her eyes, or in yours, for that matter. An occasional visit in the dark of night will do for now.”