Walking in the Shadows (28 page)

Tad looked up from his desk and smiled.

“Hi, Mr. Knightley
.
”
Jaz
waved with a smile as we head
ed
to our seats
.

“Slumber party?” Brad asked
,
frowning
.
“I was
supposed
to come over tonight.”

“Well,
Vera
wanted to hang out and she never usually has
time. You can still come over.
It
just won’t be what y
ou wanted,
”
Jaz
replied
with an eyebrow raised.

“
Oh, it could be better
.
”
H
e
smirk
ed.
“PJ pillow fight.”

Tad couldn’t help but laugh and Brad blushed.

Jaz
smacked him
.
“Keep dreaming.”

I felt bad for using
Jaz
, but Tad
had a weekly teacher hang out and wouldn’t be home until late. This meant I either stayed alone until he got home
,
or found something else to do because I had the night off from
Kirsten
’s.

A few months ago Brad and Jaz’s fresh new lust would have annoyed me. It would have sent me reeling in loneliness about Tad, but since we were secretly dating again, it didn’t bug me. It was still embarrassing to watch them tongue dance, but to a certain degree I understood. I would never stick my tongue down Tad’s throat like that, but I longed to be able to hold his hand and get a quick kiss in public without the world exploding. I wanted it to be the way it had been in the summer. I could physically hear them kissing now, and I had to close my locker sooner than later.

“C
ould
you two please
get a room?” I chastised
Jaz
and Brad when I
finally swallowed and
closed my locker.

“Sorry, have to ma
ke up for last night
.
” Brad shrugged
.

I rolled my eyes, and when my eyes came back to Brad’s face I could see
Lily
and Mike arguing
in the distance
.

“What’s up with them?”
I asked as the tension from their argument began to permeate the
hallway
.

“Shh…”
Jaz
hushed us
.

“Lily
, what the hell is wrong with you? You act like you don’t even giv
e
a shit she’s gone?” Mike accused
, pointing his finger at her.

“Maybe I just
thin
k you should move on?” Lily suggested
,
crossing her arms in
a way that
accentuated
her chest
.

“She was my girlfriend and
your
best friend. How cou
ld you do something like that to
her?” Mike replied,
stepping back and ignoring her chest.

“She did the sa
me thing to me. She deserved it,
” Lily
snapped
, her eyes
narrowing.

In that instant I thought Mike was going to snap
;
his fists were curled
and his knuckles were turning white with the pressure of his hands. Then
Miss Jennings walked over and stuck her arms between them
,
pushing Mike away
from Lily protectively.

“
There’s n
o reason to get
upset Mi
ke,
” Miss Jennings rationalized, but her eyes were on fire with nasty words unspoken.

I saw the tears forming
in Mike’s eyes as he stuttered,
“No—No reason to be upset?”

Before I knew what I was doing I was next to Mike, wrapping my arm into his and pulling him away from them. The stare I received from Miss Jennings was to die for, but the one I returned over my shoulder made shock wash over her face. I pulled Mike into Tad’s room knowing that he would be safe there.

“Are you o
kay?” I asked
,
shutting the door behind me as he flopped into a chair and stuc
k his head in his hands
.

“I…Lily
…then Jennings…what’s wrong with these pe
ople? Nothing to be upset about?
Ashley’
s dead,
” Mike muttered
into his hands
.

“Mr.Knightley,” I began
as he walked into the door
.
“Mike needed a minute
,
so I stole your room.”

“It’s fine,” Tad replied
looking at
Mike’s shaking frame
.
“Is he…?”

“She’s dead. I ca
n’t believe she’s dead
,
and Lily
doesn’t even care. All she wants is me
,
and
all I want is Ashley,
” Mike whispered
as he looked up at me,
his face stained with tears.
I saw myself reflected there. I knew that feeling all too well. The memory of my parents’ voices drifted into my thoughts, and I had to take a deep breath to steady my
emotions
.

I pulled a chair up and wrapped my arms around him as he put his face in my shoulder.

“Some people don’t under
stand that kind of loss,
” I reassured,
rubbing his back.

The worst part was I did, but I could never tell him that. I could never comfort him with my experience. I could never tell him it would get better; I didn’t know if it did.

Tad pulled a chair up and sa
t in front of us
.
“I understand how this kind of loss feels.”

“You do?” Mike asked
,
looking up between the two of us.

“Yes, I lost my mother when I w
as younger. It was really hard.
I can’t imagine what it would be like
to lose my girlfriend,
” Tad explained,
holding out a box of tissues
and looking at me
.

“I fe
el like s
uch a sissy
.
” Mike blew his
nose and wiped his face before
he s
aid,
“I’ve been trying
to be strong about it
,
but Lily
got to me and then Jennings—I mean
,
Miss Jennings
,
saying what she said.”

“You’
re not a sissy. You’re a person and
you feel emotion which i
s
normal,
” I assured him.
I could feel my anger at Miss Jennings building. I knew it was a strong word, but I was beginning to feel a sincere hate for her.

“Than
ks for saving me. I
would
have slugged Jennings and Lily
and got
ten
expelled.”

I laughed
.
“While I would have liked to see that…
Shh
…I saw how upset you were and didn’t want you to do anything drastic. Jennings had no right to say what she did and being a teacher should have been more understanding.”

“What did Jennings s
ay?” Tad asked
as he tapped his foot against the ground. The look on his face showed that he was doing it to maintain his composure in front of Mike.

“She said it was not
hing to get upset about,
” I answered
.

“Nothing to get upset about? The death of a girlfriend, friend, fellow student—an
d an innocent person?” Tad repeated in shock.
I could see my emotions reflecting in his eyes. Their blue hue only deepened with each explanation.

“The bell will be ringing soon,
”
Mike said as he took a deep breath and looked at the clock.

“If you need anyone to talk to pl
ease see me, or talk to
Vera
,”
Tad said
as he
st
ood
.

“I
appreciate it,
” Mike replied
into my shoulder when
I gave him a final hug.

“No problem,
”
I said
with a smile.

Mike began to get up
but stopped and s
aid,
“I know Brad told you what I said earlier in the
year
.
” He paused and looked at Tad.
“
I’m
sorry I said it. You’re
a
great person
Vera
.”

“
Thanks
Mi
ke
.
” I nodded my head
.
In truth I had already forgotten, and even if I hadn’t, it wouldn’t have mattered any more.

“Jennings has some r
eal balls doesn’t she?” Tad remarked
in a terse tone
when
Mike was out of ear shot
.

“That’s one way to put it.”

“I can’t believe she would say that.”

“I can…Tad there’s something strange about her.”

I wasn’t just whispering because the door was opening anymore. I could feel the sweat beading on my brow as my mind started to race.

“Maybe she thought they we
re talking about something else,
”
Tad suggested with his hands in his back pockets.

“I saw her face…she wasn’t.
It
was like she sai
d it on purpose to come to Lily
’s defense,
”
I explained, shaking my head.
It was as if Jennings didn’t even feel. She didn’t care about Lily
;
it seemed
like
she was just protecting some sort of asset.

“Anyways, are we still on for tonight?”
h
e asked as he stopped pacing the room.

I let my hand run through his as I walked by
.
“Of course.”

“You'
re super happy today
Vera
. Did you see your secret lover last night?”
Jaz
asked
,
sitting down next to me in the library.

“You hav
e a very big imagination,
” I replied as I tried to hide my smile that said she was right
.

“I think you had a v
ery good time last night and weren’t
lonely at all.”

I rolled my eyes
.
“Have you seen Mike today?”

“Yeah, he seems better
than the other day, but Lily
is determined and
is still
harassing
him.
Brad told me something very interesting about him
—his mom is on the school board,
”
Jaz gossiped
,
leaning over and looking at
my
math
homework.

“And?”
I asked
,
look
ing up from the equation
.

“Apparently sh
e’s not too happy with Jennings,
”
Jaz
replied
as she
shrugged and leaned back in her seat
,
chopping
on a twizzler.

“Isn’t there a teachers
’
union
,
though?”

“Yeah,
but
I wonder if Jennings had known
if she would have done
that
.
”
She cocked her head,
pointing
her twizzler at me.

“Jennings does
n’t care what anyone thinks. I’
m sure she would have,
”
I responded
as
I tried not to
grind my teeth in annoyance at Jaz.
Her
twizzler was driving me nuts—it was just so ridiculous
, especially when we were having a serious conversation.