Wanderlust (14 page)

He rose, pulled on his boxers, and then kissed the top of her head. His arms encircled her waist. “Sean’s going to owe me big time for dragging us out of bed. I had plans for us this morning. And they certainly didn’t involve you wearing clothes.”

She forced a weak smile. “I need to change.”

“All right. Let’s get going so we can get this over with.”

Five minutes into the drive, Lex’s phone rang again. He hit the speakerphone button. Aubrey prayed that they had found Sean, and everything was okay.

“Hey, what’s the latest?”

Jared’s voice sounded tense. “He’s in his room.”

She sagged against the seat in relief.

Lex laughed. “What, did some stripper tie him to the bed or something? Why didn’t he answer his door?”

“Dude, he’s out of it. I can’t get him to wake up. He must have pickled himself last night.”

Lex groaned. “Dumbass.”

But a coldness crept up Aubrey’s spine.

“Jared, it’s Aubrey. Have you checked his breathing?” Her voice was too high.

Lex turned and gave her a puzzled look. “He’s just drunk.”

“Jared?” she asked, not wanting to face Lex.

“Yeah, he’s breathing.” More shuffling, like bed covers being turned back. “But it’s kind of shallow, not like that heinous snoring he usually does when he’s drunk. Weird.”

Her heart beat a tattoo against her ribs. “Jared, listen, call an ambulance, right now. We’ll meet you at the hospital.”

“What?” Jared asked, sounding shocked.

“Why the hell would we do that?” Lex demanded, letting the car roll to a stop sign. “You think he could have alcohol poisoning or something? I don’t think Sean would—”

She shook her head. “It might be more than alcohol. Call for help. Sean’s using.”

“What? Shit.” Jared hung up without saying good-bye.

All sound in the car ceased. Lex stared at her, his eyes hardening into shards of ice. “And how would you know that?”

His tone hit her like a wintry blast. She cringed. “Because I caught him with coke the other day.”

“And said nothing.”

“It wasn’t my place. I didn’t—”

“I see,” he said, his voice flat and emotionless.

“I—”

“Which way is the hospital?”

“Take a right. Lex, I’m so—”

He shook his head and returned his focus to the road, jerking the car into a right turn. “My best friend may be dying in his room. I can’t have this conversation right now.”

***

Lex peered over at Aubrey. She sat on the far side of the waiting room with her shoulders hunched and a paper coffee cup clasped in her shaking hands. He couldn’t bear to look at her. Everything inside him hurt. How could she have kept this from him? She knew how he felt about drugs. He’d told her about his father’s addiction, something he never talked about to anyone. And she’d just completely disregarded that. She’d stumbled upon a chance to help Sean, and instead, had left him to his own devices. Sean was in the ICU because of her. God, why would she keep something like that from him?

Jared sank into the chair next to him and offered a donut from his cafeteria run.

Lex shook his head. “Not hungry.”

“Man, I can’t believe this,” he said, setting the pastry aside. “The doc said he coded in the ambulance.”

Lex ran his hands over his face. “I know. I heard.”

“How did we fucking miss this? Heroin, cocaine. What the hell?”

Lex shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess he was good at hiding it.”

“Not that great. Reporter girl knew.”

Lex glanced at Aubrey and caught her watching them. She quickly dropped her focus back to her coffee cup. His mind warred between wanting to scoop her into his arms and wanting to scream at her until he was blue. “Yeah, nice of her to not tell any of us. What was she thinking?”

“Maybe she was planning on breaking the story. If she’d told you about it, you would’ve asked her to keep it quiet.” Jared wiped his hands on his napkin and threw it at the trash can, missing.

“Breaking the story?”

He shrugged. “Sure, that’s how reporters move up the chain, right? Getting the big scoop.”

“The big . . .” Anger, hot and insidious, crept through Lex. He hadn’t even considered that angle. He thought back to the night before, when he had admitted he could love a girl like her. Her whole body had flinched as if he’d burned her. Was her sudden willingness to jump in the sack with him a ploy to get closer to a big story? Women had used him for a lot of things, but that would be beyond the pale. His teeth clenched. “You think she’d risk Sean dying for a goddamn story?”

Jared glanced in Aubrey’s direction. “That’s what I’d do if I were a reporter. What’s Sean to her? She barely knows him. Not her problem. She probably would’ve broken the story already, if she hadn’t been playing hide the salami with you.”

Lex couldn’t stand to hear any more. He shot to his feet and strode across the room toward Aubrey, seeing red. Her head whipped toward him, and her eyes widened as she watched him approach. She put down her cup and started speaking before he reached her. “Any change? Is he okay?”

He smirked. “So you care what happens to him now?”

“Lex, I’m so sorry. He asked me not to say—”

He held up his hand. “Enough,
reporter.
I know why you didn’t tell. Couldn’t pass up a good story. I get it. I should’ve known you were just like any other groupie—wanting to roll in some of the stardust so you can get your own feeble taste of fame.”

Her head reeled as if he had slapped her. Color dotted her cheeks. “Screw you, Lex.”

He laughed humorlessly. “You already did that, sweetheart. Multiple times. And I’ll be sure to share that fact with your boss, too. A woman scorned certainly can’t write an unbiased article. She may even make up stories about imaginary drug overdoses.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she stood to meet him head on. “You know what? Go ahead. You do that. Throw your rock-star tantrum. It’s the only thing you’re good at anyway.”

He turned smug. “Oh, really? That’s all I’m good at? So all that moaning and screaming you did last night was an act? You deserve a fucking Oscar.”

An elderly woman in the corner of the waiting room raised her eyebrows over her
Good Housekeeping
magazine. Aubrey crossed her arms and glared at him. “Should come as no surprise. According to you, I’m a great liar.”

“That you are.” He leaned down until he was inches from her face. The next words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Just know that if Sean dies in there, it will be
your fault.
”

All the color drained from her face and tears sprung to her eyes. Her voice lowered and shook. “I guess you can add him to my list of victims then.”

She grabbed her purse, slung it over her shoulder, and shoved past him.

He could hear the sob that choked out of her before she got clear of the room. It cut through him like a knife, ripping him open. But he didn’t follow.

Now they would both bleed.

Aubrey leaned her head against the steering wheel, tears cutting tracks down her cheeks.

Your fault.
Lex’s words rang through her ears.
If Sean dies, it will be your fault.

He was right.

She may have not given Sean the drugs or made him use them, but neglecting to help was just as effective. It was like driving across the Huey P. Long Bridge and not stopping her car if she saw someone standing on the ledge ready to leap. Sean had asked her to let him teeter on that edge, and she had allowed him to do so.

She’d taken the word of a drug addict. God, how stupid.

Because of her secret keeping, Sean could die and Lex could lose his best friend. And she, well, she thought she had nothing left to lose, but she was wrong. She had just walked away from the only guy who had ever made her feel . . . free.

A loud rapping noise startled her. She shot up and turned her head to the driver’s-side window. A middle-aged woman in purple scrubs peered in. Aubrey pressed the button to lower the window.

“Are you all right, honey?” the woman asked, lines of concern creasing her face.

Aubrey quickly swiped her cheeks.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I’m fine.” She attempted a believable smile but knew she failed miserably. “I, uh, I was seeing a friend inside.”

The nurse gave her a knowing nod. “It’s hard to see loved ones sick or hurt.” She dug in her purse and produced a travel packet of Kleenex. “Here, take this.”

The stranger’s simple kindness made Aubrey want to bawl again. She took the tissue.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive? You could go back inside for a few minutes. I find that the motor oil they call hospital coffee always has a way of clearing my head.”

Aubrey lifted the corner of her mouth, hoping she looked convincing. “Sounds tempting, but I’m fine now, really. I appreciate your concern.”

The woman evaluated her closely and then smiled. “Okay, well, you be careful getting home. I hope things go well with your friend.”

Aubrey thanked her again and watched as she made her way to the driver’s side of the green Toyota parked next to her. As soon as the woman made the turn and disappeared out of the parking garage, Aubrey sagged against her seat. The smell of man—no, the smell of Lex—lingered in her car. Tears welled up again. She groaned. For a girl who had gone years without crying, she was definitely making up for it.

She dabbed her eyes, blew her nose, and threw the tissue onto the floorboard of her car.

Enough.

She needed to get ahold of herself. Crying over Lex was futile. Even if this hadn’t happened, he was returning to Los Angeles in a few days. She would have lost him anyway.

She never had him.

As for Sean, she would pray for a good outcome. Weeping about it wasn’t going to help him or anyone else.

Mental pep talk complete, she shifted the car into reverse and headed out of the parking garage. As she turned onto the narrow city streets, she made plans for her day. She needed to be busy. Busy was good. Busy was mind-numbing.

She would go home, get ready for work, and then finish the Wanderlust article in her office. And she wouldn’t write about Sean’s overdose. She couldn’t. Even though it would guarantee her the promotion she wanted so badly. Even though she’d get fired if Jordana found out she knew and didn’t report on it. Even though it would get Lex back for his cruel comments in the meanest way possible.

She just couldn’t. She’d been that person vilified in the news. She wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Sean needed help, not a camera in his face.

Aubrey’s rapid-fire thoughts clouded her mind as she made a right turn onto another street. She grabbed her cell phone, intending to check in with the office.

She didn’t notice that it was a one-way street.

Or that the car in front of her was driving in the wrong direction.

Not until it was too late.

The screech of tires and the crunch of metal were all too familiar to her ears. She gripped the steering wheel as her body lurched forward and her head connected with glass. Blackness exploded behind her eyes.

***

“Oh my god, that was so awesome,” Aubrey announced, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, the lingering excitement still buzzing through her. “Can you believe Todd Berg actually performed part of that song out in the audience? Right in front of us? Holy crap. I thought I was going to die.”

Her twin sister rolled her eyes. “It was okay, I guess. Their music is kind of screamy to me. They’re no Shy Town Boys.”

Aubrey faked a gagging sound at the mention of the bubblegum boy band.

Ashley ignored her and turned to the boy holding her hand. “What did you think, Grayson?”

Grayson took a swig from his heavily rum-spiked Coke and then handed the cup to Ash and winked at Aubrey. “I don’t know. Sounded all right to me.”

Ashley turned her head from side to side as they made their way out of the arena. “Where’s the bathroom? I seriously have to pee, like right now.”

Aubrey pointed to a sign next to the snack bar. “There’s one over there, but the line looks pretty brutal.”

She shoved the drink at Aubrey. “I’ll pay someone to get to the front. I’ll be right back.”

“Just meet us outside,” Grayson said.

“Fine, whatever.” Ashley jogged toward the line, inadvertently smacking people with her swinging ponytail.

Grayson cocked his head toward the wall of glass doors. “Let’s get out of here. I need air.”

Aubrey agreed. Her head was cloudy from the alcohol, and the jostling from the crowd was only making it worse. She tossed her drink into a nearby trash can. Gray slid his hand onto the small of her back and guided her through the throng. The commingling smells of sweat, cigarettes, and popcorn made her stomach wrench. She groaned and Gray casually put his arm around her, pulling her against his side as they walked. “You okay, Aubs?”

He had never called her that before. He always shortened Ashley’s name to “Ash,” but never called her anything but Aubrey. She gave him a what’s-with-you? look. “I’m fine. A little too much rum, maybe.”

He grinned. “Me, too.”

He pushed open the exit door with his free hand, and she stepped in front of him. The ground was wet and the night air had cooled from a rain. Goose bumps pricked her arms. She made her way to a corner, away from the stream of concertgoers, and leaned against the brick wall. Trying to stop her head from spinning, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Instead of damp night air, she inhaled the strong odor of rum. “Did I mention how pretty you look tonight?”

Her eyes flew open, and she stared into Gray’s leering face. He had braced one arm against the wall next to her head and was leaning into her. Way too close. She put a hand against his chest. “Whoa. Seriously, back up, dude. You’re trashed. And you’re having a twin moment. I’m not Ashley.”

He smiled.

“I’m not that drunk. I know who you are.” He reached out and pushed a lock of hair off her face. “I know who I want to kiss.”

She tried to duck out of the way, but her reflexes were dull. He pressed his lips to hers and slid a hand around the back of her neck. Her whole body tensed. She had always thought Gray was cute, but she didn’t want this. Not her sister’s boyfriend.

She shoved her hands against him and broke from the lip-lock. “Seriously, what the hell?”

He smiled his charming smile.

“I know you like me, Aubs. And you and I are way more alike than me and Ash.” He pointed at her, his finger wavering. “You and I know how to have fun.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Have you lost your mind? You’re dating my sister.”

“So?”

She threw her hands in the air. “Oh, my god. You are such a tool.” She stepped around him and stalked toward the parking lot, swaying slightly.

She arrived at the car, huffing and puffing. She didn’t have the keys, so she sat on the hood, arms crossed, fuming. What was she supposed to do now? Tell Ashley her boyfriend had kissed her? Her sister would be devastated.

But Aubrey couldn’t let Grayson get away with it, either. She tipped her head back, staring at the stars. The pinpoints of light swirled against the inky sky. She grimaced. Maybe she was drunker than she thought. She rubbed her hands across her face.

“Hey, girlie girl,” Ashley said, as she bounded over, hand in hand with Grayson. “Are you ready to go?”

Grayson kissed the top of Ashley’s head and smiled at Aubrey. Aubrey wanted to punch him in his smug face. Her whole body quivered with anger.

“You’re cold?” her sister asked, apparently mistaking Aubrey’s shiver. She turned to Gray. “Give her your jacket. She’s got goose bumps.”

He smirked and slipped out of his letterman’s jacket. Of course he couldn’t just hand it to her. He sauntered over and helped her into it. Always the gentleman. At least in front of everyone else.

He whispered, slurring his words ever so slightly, “It looks good on you.”

She gave him a deathly glare and slid off the hood of the car. “You shouldn’t drive. You’re hammered.”

He snorted. “I’m fine. Sober as a bug.”

“It’s judge, genius.” Aubrey turned to her sister. “Can you drive?”

Ash frowned. “I don’t want to drive. I had too much. You should drive. You had less than either of us. Plus, it’s not that far.”

Aubrey’s stomach knotted. “Maybe we should just call someone for a ride.”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Like who? Dad? Say good-bye to the rest of both our junior years. He’ll never let us out of the house again.”

Ash was right. They couldn’t call their parents. They would kill her if they saw the two of them in this condition. And the whole thing had been her idea, not Ashley’s. She would get blamed, no doubt.

She eyed Gray, who was walking the parking lot line as if it were a balance beam to prove his stated sobriety. He missed two steps and then jumped to the end of the line and almost fell. “Ha! See. Sober as a
judge
.”

Ashley gave Aubrey a pleading look. “Aubs?”

Aubrey shook her head.

“Well, if you don’t want a ride with me, then good luck finding another way home because I need to get going,” Grayson announced. “I can’t miss my morning class. I have a test.”

Aubrey’s gaze scanned the strangers climbing into their cars around them and sighed. She didn’t have another way home. She shoved her hands in the pockets of Gray’s jacket and found his keys. Before revealing that she had them, she attempted her own walk of the parking lot line. She didn’t stumble and with all the drama, her head felt clearer than it had a few minutes ago. She blew out a breath. “I have the keys. Everyone get in. I’m driving.”

“You mess up my car, you’re buying me a new one,” Grayson groused.

“In.”

She climbed into the driver’s seat and expected the lovebirds to sit in the back and make googly eyes at each other. Normally, Aubrey could tolerate their sickeningly-sweet affection, but after Gray’s kiss, the whole thing made her head hurt. But instead of climbing in the back, Grayson slid into the passenger seat.

“What are you doing?” Ashley asked before Aubrey could.

Grayson peered back at her. “I thought you could lay down back there. You look tired, baby.”

Aubrey yawned. “God, am I.”

Aubrey adjusted the seat and stared out the window, waiting for them to get settled and trying to focus. She could do this. It would be fine. The drive home was short and on back roads that wouldn’t be busy this time of night.

She merged into traffic and exited the parking lot. After a few minutes on the road, Aubrey’s shoulders relaxed and her internal chill subsided. She felt okay. The roads were quiet. Ashley had stretched out in the backseat and was already asleep—or passed out. Grayson seemed content to flip between radio stations. Soon they would be home, where she could lock herself in her room and decide how she was going to break the bad news to her sister. She would definitely wait until morning to say anything. They both needed to be clearheaded for that kind of conversation.

Aubrey cruised down deserted River Road at a steady clip. The stretch in front of them was impossibly dark, the only illumination coming from their headlights and the occasional porch light of one of the small houses that lined the left side of the road. On the right was the looming slant of earthen levee that hid the Mississippi River behind it.

Her eyes followed the gold double lines at the center of the road. Their glow soothed her as she watched them curve and straighten in front of the car. Straight. Curved. Straight. Her hands gripped the wheel tightly but she found her breathing settling, her body relaxing. Then, a hand slid onto her thigh. She jolted and the car jerked a bit.

She straightened out the wheel. “What the hell are you doing?”

The harsh whisper seemed loud in the car, but her sister didn’t stir in the backseat. Gray’s hand curled around her knee. “We didn’t get to finish our conversation.”

She shoved his hand off. “Oh, we so did. There is no conversation except stay the hell away.”

Grayson unhooked his seat belt and slid across the bench seat. His arm stretched out on the seat behind her. “Come on, Aubs. I know it’s complicated, but I can’t pretend anymore. We’re the ones who are supposed to be together. Me and Ash don’t fit the same way.”

Aubrey tried to breathe through her building rage and kept her eyes on the road. “I’m giving you a pass right now because you’re goddamned drunk. But if you don’t go back to your side of the car, I swear to God . . .”

“Come on, Aubrey. You’ve always liked me.” His mouth brushed against the spot behind her ear and made her yelp. The car swerved. Ashley made a noise in the back. “Hey, what’s going on?”