Wanderlust (8 page)

Gray’s eyes traveled from Lex’s designer suit to the tattoos peeking out under his left cuff. “Right, I’m sure you’re quite the philanthropist.”

Aubrey’s hand darted out to grab Gray’s. She squeezed it pointedly.

Gray turned to her. “Lex, will you excuse us? I think it’s time for a dance with my girl.”

Aubrey stiffened at him referring to her as
his
girl. He’d have to earn the right to call her that again. But she wasn’t going to make a scene here. She gave Lex one last look as Grayson guided her to the dance floor.

They danced a few numbers, falling into step with each other easily. Her father interrupted for a dance and told her how happy he was that she had made it. Her mother cornered her and gave her a full commentary on the inappropriateness of excessive cleavage. Aubrey listened, nodded, and made comments at the proper times, but she was on autopilot. Her conscious mind could only manage one thing—tracking Lex. He spent the first fifteen minutes watching her every move with Grayson, a vaguely amused expression on his face. Then, he spent the next half hour dancing with women more than twice his age, whispering things in their ears that made them blush to their blue roots. Aubrey found herself suddenly jealous of the elderly.

When the next song ended, the clinking of a spoon against a glass interrupted the smattering of applause for the band. She turned toward the stage area and saw the woman from the welcome table standing behind the podium.

“Ladies and gentleman, if you can please take your seats for a few minutes. It’s time for the media presentation.”

Aubrey’s father and mother headed toward the stage as Grayson led her back to the table. Red velvet cupcakes decorated with the charity’s logo—a wineglass and a car key with a slashed red circle over them—were on the tables in front of each chair. She shoved hers away as Lex settled in the chair next to her. He picked his up and examined it. “This is uplifting, eh?”

“You’re still here?” Grayson asked mildly.

Lex peeled the wrapper off his cupcake. “Of course. It’s still early. Plus, I haven’t had a chance to dance with my reporter yet.”

Lex winked at Aubrey. She rolled her lips inward and looked away, trying not to smile at how boldly Lex had inserted himself into their evening.

The emcee interrupted before Grayson could respond to Lex’s plan to dance with his date. “We appreciate everyone who came tonight and are so thankful for all your generous contributions. Now you will get to see how your money is being put to use. Tonight is a very special night for us. We’ve been working tirelessly on a new project for months and are excited to give you a sneak preview tonight. Mayoral candidate and current state senator Emile Bordelon is here to help introduce our new media campaign, which will be released in schools this coming fall. He has played a major role in this project not only with his generous financial donations but also with the contribution of his personal family story.”

Aubrey’s heart seemed to stop midbeat, and a prickly feeling crawled across her skin, invading all her senses. Grayson sent her a worried look.

The woman continued. “Senator Bordelon opened his heart and gave us full access to the details of his family’s tragic experience with drunk driving. The photos and interviews regarding the untimely death of his beautiful daughter, Ashley, are the centerpiece of our new film for high school students. It is our hope that by sharing Ashley’s story, we will be able to save countless other teens from meeting the same fate.”

The emcee didn’t stop talking, but Aubrey stopped hearing. Sweat, cold and clammy, glazed her back.
Pictures, interviews.
She couldn’t bear the idea of seeing photos of the accident. She had never seen the car. She couldn’t even drive down the road where the accident had occurred. Lex reached out and placed his hand on her arm. “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

Grayson’s gaze seemed fixated on the stage, not even noticing her distress. She met Lex’s concerned stare and took a deep breath. “I’ll be all right.”

He seemed ready to call bullshit but apparently thought better of it. He nodded and lifted his hand from her arm. The video started. She tried to look away, but couldn’t. Pictures of her sister, a mirror image of Aubrey at sixteen, scrolled across the screen. The voices of her mother and father narrated over the subtle music. They talked about Ashley’s outgoing personality, her straight A’s, her starting position on the softball team, her desire to be a pediatrician. Their perfect child. How they never worried about her getting into any trouble. Tears pooled at the bottom of Aubrey’s lids as she watched the video clips of her and Ashley at their dance revue—Ashley nailing it, Aubrey pouting and refusing to shimmy with the rest of the seven-year-olds. The inseparable twins.

Then the images changed to the photos from that night. A crumpled Acura wrapped around a tree. Shattered glass and branches littering the ground. Pictures of the car’s interior. A backseat with torn bits of Grayson’s letterman jacket strewn throughout. The crumpled metal tomb that once was a car.

She squeezed her eyes shut. The images clawed at Aubrey’s mind, scraping at the steel doors that kept her memories locked away. Screams, her sister’s and her own, pierced through her brain. The acrid smell of burning oil and rubber seared her nostrils.

“No,” she whispered. Not now. She couldn’t handle that. Not here. She gasped for breath, suddenly unable to find enough air. She rested her head on the edge of the table, trying to slow the frantic thumping in her chest, trying to push away the things she didn’t want to remember.

“Aubrey,” Lex said, touching her shoulder.

She waved him off.

Her father’s voice drifted from the sound system. “One of our daughters lost her life that night. The other has to live the rest of her days knowing that she was responsible for her sister’s death. Please don’t let yourself become either one of them.”

Aubrey choked back tears, not wanting to break down in front of anyone, but she couldn’t control her breathing. Her shoulders rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath.

“Aubrey, you’re hyperventilating or having a panic attack or something, sit up, please. Let me look at you,” Lex pleaded.

She counted to five silently, tucking her shattered emotions underneath a temporary mental couch, and then pushed away from the table. Grayson had silent tears tracking down his cheeks, preoccupied with his own pain. He didn’t even look at her. She didn’t blame him. Ashley had been his girlfriend at the time of the accident. Seeing those images had probably reminded him of who had taken her away from him, who had put his own life at risk.

People around the room had turned to stare in her direction. Pity and sadness filled their faces but no forgiveness. No one forgave her, not even her parents. Because she didn’t deserve to be forgiven. Hearing her dad’s words in the video solidified what she already knew. They would never look at her and not be reminded of what she had taken from them. She could never be good enough, obedient enough, successful enough to change that. She could never be Ashley.

So why should she keep trying? She straightened her shoulders and turned to Lex. “Get me out of here, right now,
please.
”

Lex jumped out of his seat. “You got it, babe.” He put his hand out to her, which shook Grayson out of his daze.

Grayson stared at Aubrey as if she had sprouted a second head. “What are you doing?”

She grabbed her purse, her hands shaking. “I have to go.”

“Well, you don’t need to go anywhere with him.” He shoved his chair away from the table. “I can take you home.”

She shook her head vehemently, feeling as if she would splinter into a thousand pieces if she didn’t get out of the building. “No, you stay here. Talk with my parents. I need to be . . . away from all this. I can’t face any more of my past tonight.”

Gray frowned. “Including me?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” She turned and resisted running full-tilt out of the building. She forced her wobbly legs to move at an even, calm clip.

Lex jogged a few steps to catch up with her and slipped his palm onto her lower back, guiding her to the door. He pulled his cell out of his pocket with his other hand and dialed. “Robbie, pull the car around front.”

The limo was idling at the curb when they made it to the front of the hotel. Aubrey climbed in and sagged against the leather seat, a puddle of spent emotions. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. To her utter dismay, she felt a tear escape.

Lex barked her street name to the driver.

Her eyes snapped open. Imagining herself at home alone with only her thoughts scared the hell out of her. “No, I don’t want to go home yet. Take me to get a drink.”

Lex shook his head. “Babe, you don’t—”

“I want a drink,” she said, her voice regaining some strength.

His eyes searched hers.

“Please.”

He blew out a resigned breath. “Robbie, take us to that place near the hotel. That one you told me about.”

“You got it,” Robbie said.

Lex punched a button to raise the privacy screen between them and the driver. Aubrey leaned her head back again, fending off the remnants of her panic attack. The leather cushion grunted as Lex scooted closer to her. She gave him an apologetic look. “Some party, huh? Bet you wish you would’ve gone back to the strip club instead.”

He cupped her face in his hands. With his thumbs, he wiped away the streaks of her tears. “God, Aubrey. Why in the hell would you put yourself through something like that? That was brutal.”

She met his gaze. “They didn’t tell me what it was, just told me to be there.”

“Fuck,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Are they trying to torture you? I mean, the things your dad said.”

She shrugged, though everything felt stiff and tight. “Maybe in a way they are trying to punish me. I mean, I killed their daughter. I earned whatever comes my way, right?”

He lowered his hands from her face. “That’s bullshit. You were a kid. You’re not a goddamned sociopath. Do you know how many times I drove drunk before I turned twenty? More than I can count. It was dumb and dangerous. But kids do stupid shit. I lucked out and didn’t hurt anyone. You weren’t as lucky. But isn’t losing your sister enough of a life sentence? Do they have to torment you with something you can’t go back and change?”

She closed her eyes, letting his words wash over her. The sincerity in his voice made her want to cry all over again. No one had ever absolved her of her horrible mistake so wholeheartedly. She didn’t deserve that kind of pardon, but his absence of harsh judgment touched her on a level she couldn’t describe.

“I just don’t know if I can do it anymore. I’ve tried my best to be everything my parents want. To be who Ashley would’ve been had she survived.” She lifted her head and met his eyes. “That’s why I stopped going to concerts and let go of my interest in music. Because my mother was convinced that it had encouraged my bad behavior.”

His eyebrows dipped low. “What the hell would that have to do with anything?”

“We were coming home from a concert that night,” she explained. “My sister wasn’t even into the band. The only reason she snuck out with me was because I begged her to get Grayson to drive us. And if he was going, then she had to be there.”

“If Grayson drove you, how’d you end up behind the wheel?”

She sighed. “I have no idea. I can’t remember anything after we left the concert. I know we were all drinking, but only because Gray filled in the gaps for me. My mind blocked the rest out. Well, until tonight. Some things seeped through.” She pulled a tissue out of her purse and dabbed her running nose. She probably looked like a bad mug shot version of herself right now. “Let’s not talk about it anymore, all right? I’m not usually like this. I’m not a crier.”

“Nothing wrong with getting that shit out.” He gave her knee a squeeze and then shrugged out of his suit jacket. “But it’s not a problem. Consider the topic dropped. You’re in charge. What would you like to do instead?”

She dried her eyes and took a deep breath, rebelliousness brewing in her. Today had sucked. Tonight had been worse. And all because she’d been jumping through hoops to do what everyone expected of her today. Badgering Lex for an interview to please her boss. Giving Grayson the benefit of the doubt to please him. Attending the event to please her parents. Doing everything on everyone else’s agenda had gotten her nowhere good. She needed a goddamned break.

She plucked her lip gloss from her purse and ran it over her lips, only a slight tremor in her hand. Then she met Lex’s eyes with a steady gaze. “Tonight, I want to forget. At least for a few hours. And you’re going to help me.”

“Uh-oh,” he said, blue eyes wary. “That could get messy.”

“I hope so.” She tugged the bobby pins out of her hair, letting the strands fall loose and watching him watch her. “I think I need a little messy in my life tonight.”

Lex nursed his first beer as Aubrey polished off yet another martini. For a girl who hadn’t had alcohol in ten years, she was knocking them back rather efficiently. She fished the olive out of the bottom of her glass and brought it to her lips. Her eyes sparkled when they met his. She sucked the pimento out of the olive.
Jesus.
His shifted his position in the velvet club chair and put his beer down. “Babe, why don’t you let me take you home? Believe me, you don’t want to know what a martini hangover feels like. It’s not pretty.”

She sighed and sagged into her overstuffed chair. “This place is swanky,” she said, looking from left to right. “I should put it on my list to review. I bet the food’s killer.”

“We could order you something,” he offered. Something to absorb the alcohol would be good.

She waved her hand at the male waiter, who strode over with a runway walk.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his face pulled into a practiced elegance.

“One more martini, please.”

Lex groaned. “And bring us some of those”—he pointed to the first thing on the tapas menu— “shrimp.”

“Excellent choice,” he said, as if Lex were looking for some kind of approval.

“Ooh, shrimp,” Aubrey said, nodding. “Yum. I love shrimp.”

He chuckled. Even in the dim bluish light of the bar, she looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Her hair fell in messy waves around her shoulders, and her face glowed with an almost childlike exuberance. She seemed to be letting herself forget, if only for a little while. Lex took another sip of his beer without moving his eyes away from her.

God, what a fucking nightmare she’d been through. During the entire presentation, he had fought the urge to scoop her up and drag her out of there. He had started the night with the plan to invade her territory and stir things up with her tool of an ex-boyfriend, but he hadn’t planned to witness all of her skeletons laid bare for public viewing. Shit. Who could blame her for wanting to spend the evening in a martini-induced haze?

“Aubrey?” a male voice boomed from behind Lex. He turned to face a short, impeccably dressed man, smiling wide. He stepped around Lex’s chair and sidled up next to Aubrey’s like Lex wasn’t even there. “Aubrey Bordelon?”

Aubrey looked up from her drink and squinted. “Bradley?”

He laughed a high-pitched, nervous laugh that sounded like chipmunks having sex. Well, what Lex imagined that sounded like. “Yeah. I would’ve never expected to see you here. Isn’t your father’s charity thing tonight?”

Her expression darkened. “It is. I already stopped by.”

Bradley’s smile flickered but didn’t fade. The distinct vibe of asshole radiated from the guy. Lex sat forward in his chair and cleared his throat.

Aubrey’s gaze darted toward Lex. “Lex, this is Bradley Cavanaugh. He’s the son of the incumbent mayor, my dad’s opponent. Bradley, this is my friend Lex.”

Lex exchanged terse nods with him, not in the mood to make nice.

The waiter slipped in and dropped off Aubrey’s drink and the appetizer. Bradley’s attention strayed to the table, alighting on the glass, and then he turned back to Aubrey, the quirk in his expression like a shark scenting blood in the water. “Martini, huh?”

Her eyes narrowed in warning.

But of course this yahoo wasn’t going to leave the jibe at the subtle stage. “I thought you didn’t believe in drinking because of, well, you know.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in being a dick, but apparently, people change.”

Lex snorted and almost inhaled his swallow of beer. He coughed to hide his smile.

Bradley’s mouth pressed into a tight line. “I won’t take that personally. Clearly, you’re drunk off your self-righteous ass. Glad your dad is always talking about his family’s strong values. Does he know his daughter left a Families Against Drunk Driving event to go out and get hammered?”

“Hey,” Lex stood, towering over the guy, and pressed his fingers into the jerk’s chest, ready to shove him on his ass if it came down to it. “That’s enough, little man. Say one more word to her, and you’ll get a new definition of what it means to be hammered.”

Bradley’s lips spread into a cocky smile, and he stepped back putting his hands up in front of him. “Hey, no worries, guy. I just wanted to say hi to an old friend.”

Aubrey rose, swaying ever so slightly. “Go to hell, Bradley.” She linked arms with Lex. “We were about to leave anyway. The crowd has gotten decidedly less appealing.”

Lex tossed a few bills on the table and grabbed Aubrey’s elbow, ready to get her away from this prick. But as he guided her toward the door, she stumbled in her heels. Lex tried to keep her steady, but her momentum worked against him, propelling her backward. She landed on her butt with an ungraceful thud, and all heads turned in their direction.

“Dammit,” she said reaching out to her foot. She pulled off her shoe and frowned at the heel of her pump, which was bent at an unnatural angle. “These are my best black shoes.”

Lex put a hand under her arm and helped her to a stand. “Come on, babe. I’ll get you another pair of shoes. Let’s get out of here.”

He glanced over his shoulder and saw Bradley grinning. Little shithead. It took everything Lex had not to stalk back toward the guy and punch the smarminess right off his face. But he knew it would only make things worse for Aubrey if he made a scene, so he turned and led her outside to the limo.

Despite the tense exchange they’d just been through, Aubrey laughed as the limo pulled away from the club. “Well,
that
was embarrassing.”

She bent over and slipped off her other shoe, her breasts threatening to spill out the top of her dress. Despite the anger still running through his blood, Lex couldn’t help but feel the tug of lust as he took in the lush view. His hands itched to reach out and run along the curves, to feel the heat of her against his palm.

“Don’t sweat it,” he said, shifting in his seat.

She wiggled the toes of her left foot, which were sticking out of her stockings. “These are ruined, too. Oh, well.”

She straightened her legs and tugged at the panty hose, sliding them down.

His mouth suddenly forgot how to make spit. He coughed. “Um, we aren’t far from your house. Don’t you want to wait to do that?”

She finished removing the stockings then balled them in her hand.

“What? Were you hoping to take them off for me?” She gave a smile worthy of a halo. “And who said I wanted to go home?”

He wiped his hand along the back of his neck where droplets of sweat had formed. “I’m not buying you any more drinks. You’ll be sick as hell in the morning, and you’ll blame me.”

“I’m not talking about more drinks, Lex. I’m talking about going to your hotel.” She tossed the wad of nylon onto the floor and slid next to him on the seat. “Isn’t that what you wanted the night of the concert when you invited me backstage? For me to
come
with you?”

She cocked her head in challenge.

Every muscle in his body coiled and tensed. Yes, that was exactly what he’d wanted, what he still wanted. But not like this. Each word stuck in his throat as he forced out the protest. “Aubrey, your chemical makeup is about thirty percent vodka right now. You’re not thinking straight.”

“You’re wrong,” she said, putting her finger under his chin and turning him to look at her. Her eyes were sharp, determined, and wickedly beautiful. “This is the clearest thinking I’ve done in years. I’m only buzzed. You want me, and I want you. Simple logic, right? No ties, no feelings, just a little fun. Be my fling, Lex. I promise I won’t expect you to call me in the morning.”

He groaned and let his head fall against the seat. His hands flexed and dug into the leather. “The universe has a sick fucking sense of humor. I can’t even tell you how badly I want to rip that dress off and take you right here.”

She kneeled and moved her leg across his lap until she was straddling him, her dress bunching up around the outsides of her thighs. “Then take me, Lex. Right here.”

Her throaty tone indicated a challenge, not a request. He had heard women say the dirtiest, most pornographic things to him in the past—things that could have made Hugh Hefner do a double take—but he couldn’t remember anything ever sounding sexier than the simple statement she’d uttered. Ms. Proper, the girl who worried about grass stains on her shorts and about maintaining professionalism at all costs, was asking—no, demanding—for him to fuck her. All the blood in his body flooded into his dick, switching his operating system from conscious thought to autopilot. He twined his fingers into her hair and dragged her mouth down to his.

She kissed him back as if she would die without his breath—taking and giving in equal measure. Her hands grappled with the buttons of his dress shirt, pulling and yanking at the fabric like a woman possessed. Once she had the top three buttons undone, she moved her mouth down, kissing the cords of his neck. Never in his wildest imaginings would he have pictured Aubrey taking the lead. He was a guy who liked the control, who did the seducing. But Aubrey was halfway down his chest now and moving lower without fear, and he couldn’t find it in himself to stop her. Lex banged his fist against the privacy window, and Robbie started to lower it.

“Take us to the hotel. Service entrance,” Lex said.

“We’re almost at her house.”

“Hotel,
now,
” he barked, trying to hold in a gasp of pleasure that gathered at the back of his throat.

“You got it.” A low chuckle escaped Robbie as he raised the screen.

Lex grabbed Aubrey’s head and gently guided her back to his mouth. “I wasn’t done with this part.”

He took her bottom lip between his teeth, gently nibbling and tasting the salt of her martini olives. Then he went in for another kiss. She wound her fingers around his neck and rocked her hips ever so slightly against his growing erection. Fingers of electricity shot through his body, alerting every nerve to stand to attention. Their kiss swallowed the guttural sound that escaped his throat.

His hands slid up the tops of her legs, caressing bare skin, and then inched the bottom of her dress higher. With his thumbs he made feather-light circles against the buttery softness of her inner thighs, moving ever so close to where they met.

She drew away from their kiss and buried her head in the curve of his neck. “Please.”

“Tell me what you want,” he said, his voice low and dark.

“Touch me, Lex,” she said with an ache in her voice that matched the aching need he felt in his chest.
Fuck.

He moved his right hand farther up her inner thigh, letting his fingers find the sweet heat of her. Burning hot, slick with desire, and like silk against his palm. His cock pressed hard against his fly, the need almost blinding in its intensity.

Aubrey shifted against his hand, urging him forward, offering herself to him. It took every ounce of strength for him to not unbutton his pants and slide into her. He wanted to feel her heat tight around him, to be consumed by her. But not yet. She deserved better than a quick fuck in the back of a limo. She deserved savoring. He ran his thumb along her crease and found her clit, a swollen button begging for attention. He massaged it and slipped a finger inside the hot clasp of her pussy. Aubrey moaned into his neck—the sweetly erotic sound making his whole body tighten. He could feel her chest rising and falling with short, quick breaths. She was so on edge, so close to shattering already, like she hadn’t been touched this way in far too long. He couldn’t wait to hear it, to feel her come around his fingers and let herself go.

The car stopped. Lex heard Robbie shutting his door. Five steps, maybe, and Robbie would be opening their door to let them out. He pressed his lips close to her ear as she rocked against his touch. “We’re at the hotel, gorgeous.”

“Oh, god, please don’t stop.”

Robbie jiggled the door handle and then knocked lightly on the window. “We’re here, boss.”

“Give us a minute,” Lex called.

Robbie didn’t question him, and Lex put his focus fully back on Aubrey. He slid a second finger into her, the tight clench of her body around him its own kind of torture. Her sexy scent filled his senses, and he wished they had more time. He’d spread her out on the seat and taste every inch of her, feel her come against his mouth. But he knew they were on borrowed time already.

“Lex . . .” she moaned, her head tilted back, her throat exposed.

“Come for me, baby,” he said, a commanding tone slipping into his voice. “Take what you need.”

“Your driver . . .”

“Is waiting outside the door, probably listening. You care?”

She pressed her forehead to his, her body rocking against his touch without shame now. “No.”

“Good, let him hear you, gorgeous.” Lex used his other hand to tug down the neckline of her dress and her breasts spilled out. He lowered his head and took her nipple into his mouth, sucking and laving as he pumped his fingers into her.

He could feel her tighten around him, her whole body going rigid for one beautiful second before she cried out and fell into the oblivion. Lex didn’t let up, loving the utter abandon in the noises she was making. He may die from the need to be inside her, but he’d die happy, hearing this put-together woman absolutely fall apart under his touch.

When she was reduced to a gasping, panting rag doll in his arms, he backed off and worked to right her dress. She seemed completely okay with letting him piece her back together and, after giving himself his own minute to get his very obvious erection to stand down, he opened the door.

As discreetly as possible, Lex led Aubrey through the hotel’s side door and to a service elevator. Luckily, the hotel’s staff members knew how to treat VIP guests. After initial glances, they averted their eyes and made no comment about the rock star helping a barefoot, wobbly-kneed chick through their corridors. He found the neglect disturbing on many levels but convenient for his current situation.

When they reached his floor, he stuck his head out the elevator like a cop checking for bad guys. The hallway was empty except for a room service tray sitting outside of one of the doors.