Wanted Distraction (4 page)

“But if your shoulder and your arm aren’t strong enough for you to throw the ball—”

“I’ve been muscling through the pain for some time. I can make it through the end of this season. I have no choice,” he repeated, a dire look on his face.

A disconcerting thought slithered through my mind. “Not to cast a dark cloud over your head, Carter, but what if you do make it through the season, have the surgery and it doesn’t work? What if you’re no better off than before the operation? I’ve heard of that happening. I have a friend who had rotator cuff surgery years ago for a tennis injury and she’s still in pain.”

He shook his head. “I refuse to even consider that, Cherish. Even a little help will be something, so if it’s not one-hundred percent successful, I’ll still be able to power through.”

“For two more seasons?” My stomach coiled at the thought of him playing in agony. “That’s a lot, Carter. I mean, seriously. You could even end up doing more damage.”

“I’ll have some of the best physical therapists at my disposal. Not to mention, I’ve already chosen a top-notch surgeon who specializes in this type of injury. I know what I’m doing.”

He finally slid his tie off, tossing the colorful material toward his discarded jacket. Then he undid two buttons on his shirt. His elbows rested on his thighs and his hands dangled between them, giving him an almost defeated look.

I placed a hand on his good shoulder and said, “I’m sure it’ll all work out.” I wanted to support him. To be his own personal cheerleader, despite my reservations.

He glanced over at me and smiled, though it was a bit tentative. “Thanks.” His gaze remained locked with mine for several breathless seconds, and then he leaned toward me and kissed me on the cheek. “The body might be different, but you’re still very sweet.”

I smiled. “You still give me butterflies.”

“I had no idea,” he said. “You didn’t say anything after I kissed you at prom. The song ended and you rushed over to your table, grabbed your stuff and hurried out.”

Shrugging a shoulder, I told him, “I had to call my mom for a ride, since my date was obviously taking someone else home. And I didn’t really know what to make of that kiss.”

It had been the perfect first kiss. Without tongue, just our lips tangling together. I’d felt its effect all the way to my toes. Interestingly, his simple peck on the cheek did the same thing to me.

“I had two choices that night,” he said. “Punch your date in the face or dance with you.”

“Made me much less of a loser to be seen dancing with you.”

“You were never a loser. You just went to prom with the wrong guy.”

He still leaned toward me and I could smell a hint of his cologne. I wanted to close my eyes and inhale deeply, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the intense eye contact.

I said, “The right guy didn’t ask me to prom. But I’m glad he asked me to dance with him.”

“It was four or five minutes of my life I’ve never forgotten.”

“Me either.”

Heat flashed in his eyes, but was chased away by some sort of inner strife.

“Cherish.” He shook his head and started to stand. I stopped him by clasping his biceps to keep him in place.

“Wait,” I said.

He settled on the cushion and stared quizzically at me.

I had no idea what to say, and my heart beat so fast, it was a wonder I didn’t keel over. But this seemed to be the best time to tell Carter how I’d felt about him ten years ago, and how I still felt about him today.

Pulling in a steadying breath, then letting it out slowly, I dove in headfirst. “One dance with you, and that kiss, made prom the best night of my life, when it should have been the worst because I’d been dumped. I’ve followed your career since. And when I saw that article about you in the
Republic
, I swapped stories with Taylor because I was desperate to see you. I wanted you to know how much I’d changed. And I’m not just talking about the way I look. I’m a woman, Carter.”

“Yes, you are,” he said, his voice thick with desire. “The second I saw you, even before I realized who you were, I thought you were gorgeous. And your smile took my breath away. Then I looked more closely at your mouth and your eyes, and I instantly knew that gorgeous woman was you. My pulse has been off the charts ever since.”

My heart nearly burst from my chest. I’d never been daring enough to make a first move, but I couldn’t stop myself from tugging on his arm until he was closer to me. I pressed my lips to his as my eyelids fluttered closed.

A low groan from Carter made my own pulse soar. He ran a hand through my hair, until he cupped the back of my head, holding me in place as our lips parted and his tongue delved deep, sweeping over mine. His grown-up kiss was hot and demanding. Passionate and lustful. I would have lost my footing had I been standing.

His arm slid around my waist, his hand splaying over the small of my back. My upper body melded to his, my breasts nestling under the ledge of his hard pectoral muscles. The desire to rip his shirt open and strip off my dress so I could feel his skin against mine rose within me. But I fought the urge and instead concentrated on how skillfully and sexily he kissed me. How wonderful it was to have his hunky body pressed to mine. How easily he stirred my emotions and ignited a roaring fire between my legs.

A prickly sensation along my clit was accompanied by a sharp throb in my pussy. Lord, how I wanted this man. More than I’d ever wanted anything in my life.
Ever
.

When he finally broke our kiss, we both panted heavily and I was lightheaded again.

Carter’s eyes bore into me, and they were flooded with emotion. “Cherish,” he began, but then frowned and shook his head once more.

My heart stuttered and nearly came to a grinding halt as dread ribboned through my insides. “What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…” He shoved a hand through his hair. “That was more amazing than I’d imagined. And that’s a bad thing. A really bad thing.”

I had no idea how to process that comment. “You’ve lost me again.”

“I’m sorry.” He groaned, and this time it wasn’t in a lusty way, but in a tormented way. “The thing is,” he told me as he stood again, faced me and crossed his arms over his wide chest, “I have to wholly commit myself to this new job, the surgery and the rehabilitation. No distractions. And you… Christ, you are a
huge
distraction.”

The sting of rejection was bad enough. The fact his rejection came with a flash of desire in his eyes, because he clearly was interested in me in the romantic sense, made his words downright painful.

But what could I do? If he didn’t want to start something with me, I wouldn’t be able to persuade him otherwise. Not when his career was on the line.

With a nod, I said, “I get it.”Though my heart didn’t seem to. The tightening in my chest was almost unbearable. And my legs trembled again when I stood, as though my body was about to quake from my disappointment and consternation.

My stomach churned. I’d had high hopes for this evening. I’d thought about little else since Taylor had agreed to hand over the story. Now I regretted pushing her into it, because it would be so much better to not know about the chemistry that existed between Carter and me, when he had no intention of doing anything about it.

I recalled how agonizing it had been those last few weeks of my senior year, following prom, when Carter had smiled or winked at me in the hallways, but had never broached the subject of our last-dance kiss. He hadn’t asked me out afterward, or given any indication he’d wanted to date me over the summer, before he went off to Notre Dame.

Suffering through that heart-wrenching reality had been a breeze compared to how I felt now. We were adults and I was no longer Tink. And here was Carter, single and drop-dead gorgeous. Yet we may as well be on different continents for all the figurative distance he’d just put between us.

I scooped up my belongings and headed to the door, rushing off the way I had after his kiss at prom, humiliation gripping me.

He stopped me this time as he simply said, “Cherish.”

Turning back to him, I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin, fighting the urge to slink off and cry, though the threat of tears stung my eyes.

“Don’t worry about it, Carter.” I was devastated he’d dismissed the attraction between us, but I wouldn’t let on. “I’ve always wished the best for you. That hasn’t changed. I hope you have a great season and the surgery is successful.”

“What about our interview?”

Though it nearly devastated me, I said, “I think your idea is a good one. Let’s keep it professional. We can talk in the locker room. Just like you’ll do with every other reporter looking for a story.”

His jaw clenched. He seemed to swallow down a hard lump of emotion as a tortured look crossed his face. I couldn’t stand to see it, so I turned away.

As I reached for the door handle, he said, “Wait.”

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Why?”

He shook his head, then lifted his hands in the air in apparent exasperation. “Jesus, Cherish. I don’t want you to leave.”

I sighed in sheer agony. I felt I was so close to having something I’d wanted for over ten years, but I still couldn’t wrap my fingers around it. Hold on to it. Savor it.
I
was the one being tortured.

“I know this is an asshole thing for me to say, Carter, but I don’t want to just be old acquaintances. I could be friends with you in high school because I never had any hopes we could be more than that. But tonight… I can see there’s a possibility. And knowing it exists, while also knowing it’ll never happen…” My eyes squeezed shut for a moment as I pulled in a sharp breath and then let it out. “I can’t pretend I don’t want you. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t pretend either,” he said in a gruff voice. The tormented look remained in his eyes, though it was tinged with heat as he confessed, “
I
want
you
, Cherish.”

Chapter Two

Oh how my gut twisted as those words crawled under my skin.

I should have been thrilled to hear them, but instead found them horrifically painful. Carter could tell me a million times over he wanted me—but I could see in his eyes he wasn’t inclined to do anything about it.

I’d never experienced sexual frustration before. The truth was, prior to this evening, I could take or leave sex. I didn’t mind my lengthy dry spells, because I’d never really sparked with a man so vehemently, I couldn’t imagine
not
sleeping with him. Until now.

Kissing Carter had been a monumental mistake. One I couldn’t take back. I’d always know how much passion and desire existed between us, but I’d never have more than lingering memories to haunt me for another ten years. Likely longer than that.

“Cherish,” he said, “I’m trying to be fair. You’ve completely derailed me tonight. I wasn’t expecting to see you and when I did, I couldn’t control how much my body responded to you. That kiss shouldn’t have happened, but then again… I wanted it to. I wanted to kiss you when you were in my arms on the patio. Even though I know it’s not right.”

I slumped against the door, my shoulder propped against the wood. “You’re killing me here, Carter.”

His grin was a tight one. “Yeah, I know how it feels. That one kiss had me wanting to carry you into the bedroom and make love to you. But I can’t afford to do that.”

Just hearing he wanted to make love to me made my knees weak. I shoved away from the door and sank into a chair at the kitchen table. “This is insane.” I groaned at the irony of the situation. “You’re saying all the right things, yet they’re all
wrong
.”

He sighed. “I’m not trying to screw with you. My career is hanging in the balance here, sweetheart.”

His term of endearment only made my heart wrench more. “Stop being so intimate with me, Carter. I can’t take it. The way you look at me and touch me. It’s all too much, because it’s everything I’ve always wanted from you and nothing I can have.”

Tears prickled the backs of my eyes. I tried to stave them off, yet the fat drops crested the rims and slid slowly down my burning cheeks.

“Ah, Jesus. Cherish.” His voice was as full of torment as his expression had been all this time. He took three long strides toward the table and knelt in front of me. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

He brushed away the tears as I bucked up and, once more, hitched my chin a few notches. Always sucking it up to keep my dignity intact. “I’m fine.” I got to my feet, moving around him. I walked toward the door again, but a crazy thought occurred to me. Out of the blue, the wicked idea formed in my head and I whirled around, miraculously not toppling over in my high heels.

My breath suddenly came in ragged pulls, but I managed to say, “I have a suggestion to make.”

With a perplexed look on his face, Carter stood and crossed his arms over his chest. For a few moments, he appeared to debate whether it was wise to continue down this path. But he didn’t shut the proverbial door on me.

“I’m listening.”

I swallowed down a knot of nerves that had formed and did my squared-shoulder thing again, taking a business stance with my proposal, rather than an emotional one.

It took all the courage I possessed, but I said, “We’re both agonizing over what’s happened between us tonight. And I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t want to impede your career or your progress with your shoulder. I want everything to work out for you, Carter. I swear. But I also know I will regret—for the rest of my life—not taking a shot at this.”

His brow lifted. “What are you suggesting?”

“One night.”

The lifted brow dipped. “As in a one-night stand?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never had one. Just about everyone has, and you’re way too hot and in demand to not have women come on to you at a bar or after a game or whatever.”

He had the good grace not to torment me with his past lovers. Instead, he said, “Somehow, I doubt you’re the type, Cherish. And again, it’d hardly be fair to you.”

“I’m a big girl,” I told him. “I can handle it. Just one night, then we go our separate ways.”

It seemed trite, yet at the same time…it was the only solution I had. I absolutely did not want to leave his hotel room without experiencing one evening of unbridled passion with him. I
had
to make it happen.

Yet Carter still hedged.

“Seriously?” I challenged, as he remained silent. “You have to
think
about this? I mean, what man would pass up no-strings-attached sex with a woman he’s admitted he wants to sleep with?”

Carter’s laugh was a hollow one. “We’re not two strangers who ended up in a hotel room. And the truth is, I don’t know if I can have no-strings-attached sex with you, Cherish. Deep down… I want strings with you.”

I shook my head as the knife twisted in my heart. “You keep making this more and more difficult.”

“It
is
difficult.” His frustration was evident and it gnawed at me. “No matter what I say or don’t say. No matter what I do or don’t do. This is a shitty position for us to be in.”

Returning to the kitchen table, I set my bag and iPad on the polished wood surface and then stepped close to Carter. Staring up at him, I said, “Let’s leave it to Fate, shall we? Kiss me again, and if you don’t feel like dragging me off to the bedroom, fine. I’ll leave.”

He laughed again. “We may as well head straight into the bedroom then.”

“Okay.” I brushed passed him and crossed to the hallway.

“Cherish.” He groaned, the frustration clearly mounting.

I refused to give up on this idea, though. Yes, it would be hell in the end, when I knew exactly what it was like to kiss Carter and make love with him, and to know I’d only have this one time with him. But hell was better than having the life sucked out of me if I didn’t take advantage of this opportunity.

Stepping over the threshold of his bedroom, I experienced the kind of breathless exhilaration reserved for the most significant moments of one’s life. A long-awaited kiss. The first day on a dream job. An anticipated marriage proposal. The birth of a child.

In the back of my mind, I had qualms about what I was doing, because I knew there would be substantial emotional repercussions. But I was willing to keep the dark thoughts tucked away as excitement eclipsed the dread inherent to the realization that, come tomorrow, Carter would be nothing more than a past lover.

I kept my heels on, for obvious reasons, but was pulling my dress over my head when Carter joined me. I stood before him, wearing nothing more than a red satin strapless bra, a matching thong and the peek-a-boos.

He sucked in a sharp breath, then let it out harshly. “There’s no turning back now. I couldn’t resist you if I tried.” His searing gaze roved slowly over my body, his look so hot, I felt branded.

A scintillating thrill shimmied down my spine at the thought. I reached for the flap of his dress shirt and released the row of buttons from their holes, and freed the hem from the waist of his suit pants. He quickly removed his gold cufflinks from the sleeves and placed them on the dresser. Then he stripped off his shirt and it was all I could do not to pounce on him.

Electrifying sensations zapped all my erogenous zones at the sight of him—and he wasn’t even completely naked. He had broad shoulders and a wide chest. His torso was impeccably sculpted, with well-defined pecs, corrugated abs and rock-hard biceps. His toned muscles were covered with smooth, tanned skin. The man gave all-new meaning to the term tall, dark and handsome.

I couldn’t resist touching him. Flattening my palms against his chest, I stared up at him and said, “You are breathtaking, Carter Davis.”

He chuckled, though it sounded strained. His hands covered mine and he bent his head to kiss my forehead.

“We’re playing with fire,” he said in a dark tone. “You know that, right?”

I nodded. “This is very dangerous. I’m already anticipating a broken heart, but this isn’t a water faucet I can turn off. I want you. Badly. And that’s not going to just go away because I tell it to.”

His jaw tightened for a moment. “I don’t want to break your heart, Cherish.”

“I won’t blame you, I promise. It’s not your fault I’ve had a crush on you since high school.”

With narrowed eyes, he said, “I didn’t know.”

“What would have been the point of telling you? You had tons of girlfriends. I certainly couldn’t have competed with them.”

“You were the only girl I danced with at our prom,” he said pointedly.

This made my stomach flip. “I hadn’t noticed. I was too busy trying to keep my date from wandering off. Though that turned out to be a wasted effort.”

“He was a jerk.” Suddenly, Carter scooped me into his arms.

“Hey,” I said, instantly alarmed. “Your shoulder.”

He carried me over to the king-size bed and set me gently in the middle of it before he stretched out next to me, lying on his side. “You’re light as a feather, sweetheart.”

“So charming,” I mused, not missing the dreaminess in my voice. “But don’t do that again. I told you I don’t want to be an impediment.”

The look he gave me was a confusing one to decipher. He seemed to know his limitations, and they aggravated him. But I sensed it was more than his physical condition that upset him. I truly believed the fact he found me to be a distraction bothered him, because of the way he felt about me. Because he really didn’t want to put perimeters around our association.

My heart melted at the same time my gut twisted into a pretzel. “I’m pushing this on you, aren’t I?” I asked in a quiet voice as my fingers skimmed over his warm skin. I couldn’t help touching him when he was this close to me, and I loved how his abs and pecs flexed beneath my fingertips.

He said, “I never do anything I don’t want to, Cherish. I’m just not sure we’re being sensible. Tonight, I get to unleash everything I’m feeling toward you, but tomorrow… I have to bottle it all up.”

I swallowed down a lump of emotion. “But one night is better than no night, right?”

And what if one evening together turned into something more? What if there was a way for me to be in his life without hindering his healing progress or his career?

Yes, of course, I hoped there was a chance for more with Carter. I wouldn’t hang my hat on the notion, though. That would only set me up for an even greater heartache. But I was too optimistic a person not to keep the door open.

Carter said, “I don’t want you to feel used.”

My unexpected laugh filled the silent room. “This was my idea, remember? Let’s think of it as an evening of mutual appreciation,” I suggested as my head dipped and I brushed my lips over his collarbone.

He let out a low grunt. “Sure beats the hell out of the cold shower I’d previously resigned myself to.”

“I can offer more relief than that.” I lightly pushed at his chest until he rolled onto his back.

Where to start
was the thought that flitted through my mind as I gazed down at his hunky body. I nibbled my lower lip while I absorbed the magnificent sight before me, and he still wasn’t naked yet.

My first order of business, I decided, was to attempt to get him as hot and bothered as I felt. So I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra. I tossed the lingerie aside as he let out another lustful grunt.

I unfastened his pants and slid the zipper down its track. Then I bent over him and kissed him aggressively. Our intense liplock was scorching hot, and he groaned when I finally pulled away.

“You make me so damn hard,” he told me in a tight voice.

I left him that way and shifted to the end of the bed. I quickly divested him of his Italian leather shoes and socks, then asked, “You have a condom, right?”

“Somewhere.” He gave it some thought before saying, “Either the toiletry bag hanging on the back of the bathroom door, or the small duffle sitting on the vanity.”

I slipped from the bed, surprised he felt so comfortable with me rummaging through his personal effects. I found two foil packets at the very bottom of the duffle, where he kept several books on Joe Montana and Dan Marino, plus a few magazines. I couldn’t help checking out the titles and smiled at his selection of reading material.
Classic Cars
,
Newsweek
and, of course,
Sports Illustrated
, though thankfully not the swimsuit edition.

Returning to the bedroom, I tossed the condoms on the nightstand. He’d removed his pants, but not his briefs. His erection strained against the sexy black shorts, making my mouth water.

I finally kicked off my heels and climbed back into bed with him.

Carter reached for me and pulled me down on top of him. He kissed me in that way that made me feel singed to the core of my being. Hot and passionate. Obviously, he couldn’t hold back, which made my pulse race and my cunt ache.

His hands roamed my body, his fingers grazing my skin until it tingled. He touched me without reservation or hesitation. In fact, he was quite assertive as he cupped my ass cheeks and kneaded them. He broke our kiss and, gripping the backs of my thighs, coaxed me to straddle his lap, and my upper body melded to his. With his hands on my hips, he pressed my pelvis downward, sliding my satin-covered lips over his hard cock. He was wide and thick, and my insides blazed at the thought of him filling and stretching me.