Wanted (FBI Heat Book 3) (9 page)

Damn, why did his argument have to be so logical? And why did his intense blue gaze make her so uncomfortable? The idea of spending the night in the same apartment with him shouldn’t make her pulse race after all this time. As if she didn’t have enough problems to deal with, sex should be the last thing on her mind.

“I-I—” she stammered.

“Look, Kat. I’m not going to jump your bones. Maybe I should invite…someone else to sleep over also if that’ll make you feel…safer.”

Kat’s cheeks turned stop-sign red, and she looked away. So he’d guessed right. She was thinking about sex—sex with him to be exact. Well, let her think all she wanted.
Not gonna happen in this lifetime.
Or…
Well, shit.
Maybe Kat wasn’t imagining herself making love with him, but him screwing the assumed girlfriend while she was in the other room. First of all, he wouldn’t do such an asshole thing to embarrass her. And well, it wouldn’t happen anyway because he had no girlfriend. Not that there weren’t plenty of women he knew who’d be happy to oblige, but that wasn’t the kind of guy he was.

He cocked his head and waited her out. He wasn’t above throwing her over his shoulder and kidnapping her ass. He’d do whatever was necessary to keep her safe—from him or anyone else.

Her defiant gaze reconnected with his. “Fine. But I’m sleeping on the couch, not you.”

“Fine by me.”

With her lying across the console again, they rode the ten minutes to his apartment in silence. He kept a close eye out for the Hummer or signs of anyone else following them, but fortunately, they didn’t encounter either. After pulling into his garage, he checked the area carefully before letting her out of the truck. He carried her tote and ushered her into the apartment, thankful that few residents were outside at this time on a weeknight.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” he asked as he tucked the sheet around the couch cushions. Of course, he had planned on giving her the bedroom, but he figured arguing with her about the sleeping arrangements just might be enough to freak her out and make her leave. He couldn’t chance that.

“No, thanks, but I’d like to take a shower, if that’s okay.”

His brain conjured up several memories of how her showering was far better than
okay
. But those sensual images included him in the picture so that wouldn’t be happening either. He’d take a shower after she went to sleep, and his would be a cold one. A frigid-as-a-glacier one.

“The only shower is in the master bathroom. The towels are in the closet at the end of the hall.”

“Thanks. I won’t be long.” She picked up her bag and headed to the bathroom.

Dillon dropped onto the recliner and held his head in his hands. God, what had he been thinking? How was he going to sleep knowing Kat was in his living room? He groaned.
Katriona MacKenzie.
After two years without a single visit, a single picture, a single word, a single call, and now she would be here. Right here.

All night.

Kat leaned her head against the tile and let the hot water cascade down her back. She moaned as the image of Dillon in the shower reappeared in her mind. They’d enjoyed many satisfying showers together.

Obviously, their chemistry was still there because she was pretty damn sure she wasn’t the only one getting hot and bothered. She’d noticed his eyes darken more than once tonight. If they were two consenting adults, why couldn’t they enjoy some no-strings-attached sex? It wasn’t like she had any expectations for the future. And if she made sure Dillon didn’t either, what harm could there be in a night of mind-blowing sex?

No, no, no!
Good Lord, had she lost her mind? Dillon had a girlfriend. Kat would never intentionally interfere with his relationship. She wanted him to be happy. That’s why she’d run away in the first place.

If she needed any more evidence—and she didn’t—that living near Dillon would be impossible, tonight would be exhibit A.

When she returned to the living room, Dillon sat in the recliner, drinking wine. On the surface, he appeared relaxed, but because she knew him, she could see the intensity radiating from every pore.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Much.” Even though she wore a nightgown and robe, she felt naked as he watched her cross the room and sit down on the couch. A deep ache for the amazing relationship they once shared brought tears to her eyes, but she blinked them away so he wouldn’t see. “We haven’t discussed what to do about all of this. I really think moving may be the best answer.”

“We should talk in the morning when we’re both fresher.”

“What time do you leave for work?”

“I’m taking a few days off to figure this out…with you.”

But she planned to be long gone in a few days. “Well, the sooner the better. Whoever is terrorizing me has succeeded. I’m scared.”
And scared for Skye.
She gulped. “The government says, ‘If you see something, say something.’ Well, I have. Now it’s up to you…I mean, Homeland Security to decide if they want to proceed.”

“So you’re going to just get the hell out of Dodge? That’s not like you, Kat.”

“I have other things to consider.”
Like my daughter. Like my sanity. Like not being able to resist the temptation you represent.

“I understand you’re scared. But I can protect you.”

She gulped. “Thanks for the offer, Dillon, but we both know that’s not possible. I have to support…myself; and since I believe these attacks are connected to Diablo Beach, I can’t stay at this job.”

He rammed his fingers through his thick ebony hair and exhaled loudly. “Fine. As I said, let’s talk in the morning.”

“Good. The sooner we figure out what I need to do before I leave, the happier I’ll be.”

Liar, liar, pants on fire.
The childhood taunt repeated itself over and over in Kat’s head until Dillon closed the bedroom door after a brusque good night. She buried her face in the pillow, but the scent of him clung to the fabric and only made it harder not to cry.

She waited until she heard the shower before pulling her cell from her purse and calling her parents. “Hi, Mom. How was Skye for you tonight?”

“She definitely missed seein’ her mama. Put up a wee bit of a fuss, but nothing major. How are you feelin’, Katie dear?”

“Not good. Would you mind keeping Skye for me all day tomorrow? I really need another day of complete rest.”

“You aren’t goin’ to work tomorrow night, are you?” her mother asked, worry in her voice.

“No, no, of course not. In fact, I may take the ER doctor’s advice and see my regular doctor for a follow-up.” She grimaced at the lie.

“Well, dearie, if you’re feelin’ that poorly, we’d be happy to keep Skye. We had some plans, but they can wait.”

Great, more guilt. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll give you a call tomorrow night about my plans for Friday.”

Dillon grimaced as the icy cold water doused his lust like a fire extinguisher, effectively shriveling his junk. He cursed under his breath. Christ, what was wrong with him. He’d finally gotten closure on why Kat had run away, but his body hadn’t gotten the memo that they weren’t back together.
Definitely not back together.

Not only were their personal lives not destined to reunite, he had the whole matter of keeping her safe to think about. Being followed tonight wasn’t Kat’s imagination or a coincidence. Someone was stalking her, terrorizing her, and trying to hurt her. To what end? To stop Kat from asking questions or raising concerns at Diablo Beach?

He braced his hands on the tile on either side of the showerhead and leaned into the spray. He’d be wise to stay here until Kat was asleep so he wouldn’t be tempted to go talk to her again. He rolled his head from side to side to loosen his tight neck muscles. Tension had built over the hours he and Chaos had hammered at the DBNPP’s firewall and other security.

They had managed to hack in only minutes before Kat woke up. But at least they’d gotten that far. Honestly, he’d started to doubt whether they were going to be successful until he remembered a rare trick from back in the day. If Kat hadn’t woken up, he’d still be in the man cave working. Chaos had volunteered to stay on it until he collapsed. The guy was hardworking and loyal. Sometimes Dillon wished he could publicly acknowledge the efforts of TSK’s dedicated members, but they’d all agreed anonymity was more important than accolades.

After ten more minutes of freezing his ass and other crucial parts, he dried off and pulled on a clean pair of black boxer briefs. He opened the bedroom door a crack and listened. He couldn’t see Kat, and he didn’t hear any sounds of her moving around.

Stretching out on the bed, he dialed the burner phone. “How’s it going, Chaos?”

“You’re missin’ all the fun, Shadow.”

“I know. You’re not touching anything, right?”

“Nah, just hid our code in a secure place. Gettin’ in next time will be a breeze.”

“Good. Find anything interesting?”

“Shit yeah. Someone’s been messin’ with stuff big time.”

His hand tightened on the phone. “Can you tell who?”

“Not yet. Whoever it is, is damn good. He’s got stuff bouncing through servers all over the globe. But I…Never mind. I’m not sure yet,” Chaos admitted.

“That’s okay. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“There’s definitely someone on the inside letting this joker in. It looks like the software changes are coming from an employee’s computer, but I believe the real source is…outside.”

“How far outside?”

“Like in Pakistan, dude.”

“Pakistan? Shit,” Dillon swore and scratched his head. “But the changes could still be actually coming from an employee working at home, gaining access remotely through his work computer. As you described, the guy would just need the tech savvy to disguise where he really is.”

After their conversation, Dillon lay awake a long time. He wasn’t sure which was more troubling: the hard-on from hell he got every time his thoughts wandered to Kat sleeping on his couch or the idea that someone in Pakistan might be screwing around with an American nuclear power plant only twenty miles away.

He’d almost drifted off to sleep when noises from the living room brought him back to full alert. Switching instantly to agent mode, he grabbed the loaded gun from under the pillow, slipped out of bed, and crept silently to the bedroom door he’d left slightly ajar.

With his ear to the small opening, he listened.

Kat could see Skye inside the black Hummer. Her baby was crying, and the faceless people only smirked at Kat running after their vehicle. She fought so hard to run faster, but her legs were leaden and anchored by invisible hands holding her back. Screaming, she reached out, but her fingers moved in slow motion, stretching, grasping, clutching, and finding only air. “No, no, no. Skye.” The car pulled farther away. Kat couldn’t see Skye anymore. Everything was disappearing into the swirling fog. “Noooo.”

“Kat! Kat, wake up. You’re dreaming.”

“Help. Stop them, stop…” Her eyes blinked open, and she gasped for air.

No Hummer. No fog. No Skye. Only Dillon.

A crushing weight in her chest sent her into a coughing fit.

“Relax, babe. Breathe slowly, through your nose.” He patted her softly on the back.

Tears welled and overflowed. “Dillon, oh, Dillon. We can’t let them find—” She came to her senses just in time. But then the shakes set in, and she trembled all over at the thought of those evil people getting their slimy hands on her daughter. She shook her head and sobbed harder.

Unable to stop. Unable to tell Dillon the truth.

He pulled her up and onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged tightly, burying his face in her hair. “Just a dream, Kat. Let it go. I’m here,” he whispered.

He brushed a soft kiss across the sensitive spot behind her ear. And then he kissed her temple. Her cheek. The corner of her lips.

Suddenly, his mouth was on hers, taking, demanding, and she kissed him back, needing, wanting. Kissing him for all she was worth, kissing him for every second they’d been apart, kissing him with all the love that had never faded.

Dillon stood up with Kat in his arms and carried her to the bedroom without breaking the kiss. He laid her on the sheets and followed her down.

Tears of fear were replaced by tears of joy as he covered her face with kisses while pulling her gown up to her waist and sliding his large, warm hands beneath it. He cupped her breasts and kneaded until she felt the nipples tighten. Then he lifted the gown over her head, let her pull her arms free, and descended hungrily to suck a pink point into his mouth. She arched off the bed when a bolt of heat zinged its way along her nerve endings to her core.

Her hands couldn’t move fast enough. She wanted to touch him everywhere. Her fingers furrowed through his tousled black hair and explored the familiar planes of his body. His muscles, hard and smooth, flexed as he moved. She loved the feel of him.

“Dillon,” she moaned when he released one nipple and switched to the other.

As he leaned over her, his long, hard dick pressed into her hip. She’d dreamed so often of him inside her that the feel of him made her almost giddy.

His hands roved over her, caressing her breasts, stroking her belly, moving lower and lower toward his target. The erotic sensations made remaining still impossible. She squirmed and writhed with each touch. “Oh God, Dillon, I want you.”

He responded with a deep growl.

His fingers slipped between her thighs, separated her feminine folds, and teased her most sensitive spot. She gasped with pleasure and pressed against his hand, wanting more, so much more.

He slid a finger inside and groaned at what he found. “Damn, baby, you’re hot and wet already.” He rolled off the bed and stood.

When he hooked his thumbs in the top of his boxer briefs, an awful thought popped into her head.

She held up her hand. “Stop, Dillon. We…we can’t.”

He didn’t move, just stared at her, and gulped. “Why?”

“I-I won’t be responsible for you cheating on your girlfriend. You were always faithful to me, and I don’t want to change the kind of man you are.”

A self-satisfied grin spread across his face. “I don’t have a girlfriend, Kat.”

She blinked. “But…but you said…”

“No. You assumed I called a girlfriend. I just didn’t deny it.”

A twinge of resentment narrowed her eyes. “You offered to invite her to sleep over tonight,” she persisted.

“Again, no. I offered to invite ‘someone.’ I was thinking of Conrad.”

“You were not.”

He cocked his head and gave her a sexy-as-sin grin. “What’s it gonna be, Kat?”

She glanced away.
Yeah, ‘what’s it gonna be’?
Was she just looking for an excuse because deep down she knew this was wrong? But if it was wrong, why did it feel so right?

Maybe that wasn’t even it. She cringed inwardly. What if making love to Dillon wasn’t the same? The lights were out so he couldn’t see the two small stretch marks on the sides of her belly, but what if he could
feel
the differences
inside
her body created by giving birth? Would he be able to feel any changes where she’d pushed out a seven-pound baby girl?

Unfortunately, she was fully aware of the external changes. Even though she had burned off the pregnancy weight months ago, her belly wasn’t as flat or firm as it used to be. And her boobs were slightly larger and less perky due to nursing. Would Dillon notice?

Did it matter? This was no-strings sex. She wanted him, and he wanted her. Was she making the situation more complicated than it needed to be?

Kat sighed at the reminder of another complication.

“What?” he asked, still standing, still watching, still waiting to see what was going to happen, what she was going to decide.

“I’m not on the pill or any other birth control.”

He frowned. “That’s risky.”

“Not so much when you’re not…having sex,” she admitted, embarrassment warming her cheeks.

“I’ll double bag,” he offered.

Of course,
he
wouldn’t want to risk a pregnancy. And honestly, she didn’t dare risk one either. She had her hands full already raising one child as a single mom.

“Good idea. Thanks.” Her enthusiasm and the lusty thrill of the moment had fizzled. Had she completely ruined the mood?

Her question was answered when she looked back at Dillon as he peeled off his underwear. His glorious erection hadn’t lessened at all.

She drank in the sight of his beautiful body. Broad shoulders tapered to narrow hips. Well-developed pecs with a sprinkling of curly black hair gave way to awesome abs. Muscular thighs and calves spoke of many miles of running. His chiseled features, intense blue eyes, and thick black hair topped off a handsome-as-hell package.

After applying the condoms, he climbed onto the bed between her legs.

“Now where were we?” he teased.

His lips, tongue, and teeth blazed a trail of heat from her belly to her breasts, to her neck, to her mouth. By the time they reached their destination and captured her lips in a bone-melting kiss, she was squirming again. She tried to align herself with the tip of his dick, but he kept pulling away.

“Dillon,” she finally groaned in exasperation, “I want you inside me.”

Gently, he brushed the hair from her face and pecked a kiss on her nose. “I know. But if we go straight to the main course, it’ll be over too soon.” He tapped her lips with his finger. “Maybe a more substantial appetizer will help.”

He nibbled his way back down her body until he was nestled between her thighs. After stroking her, slowly, tantalizingly, he flicked her clit with his tongue.

“Ahhh,” she cried, almost levitating off the mattress.

He spread her legs farther apart and held them in place with his strong hands. His tongue and lips tortured her until she shattered into a million pieces of pleasure. After the pieces floated back to earth, she opened her eyes to find Dillon watching her with such a tender expression that it brought happy tears to her eyes.

“Better?” he whispered.

She nodded weakly.

“Good.”

He grasped her legs and flipped her onto her stomach. Then his fingers began a slow exploration of her back, from her nape to her tush. They massaged and tiptoed and traced, leaving tingles of desire wherever they touched. As he trailed his fingers along the length of her spine again and again, she couldn’t help but arch in response. She lost herself in the rhythm until his fingers dove between her thighs again and invaded her. Dillon’s moan said he couldn’t resist any longer.

He rolled her over and moved between her thighs. Staring directly into her eyes, he asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Ready?”

She nodded, but she wasn’t
really ready
because when he pushed inside, inch by inch, she almost burst into tears. Not because he hurt her, but because he was making love to her. Sure, she had been ready physically, but the emotional jolt of having him inside again undid her composure. She clenched her jaw and scrunched her eyes shut to ward off the emotional tsunami.

He grasped her hands and held them over her head. His thrusts grew deeper, faster, hungrier. Her insides coiled, her muscles tightened, until she was close to exploding again.

“Come, Katriona, come,” he ground out.

She did, and he immediately followed her over the edge.

Dillon spooned her back against him, draped an arm across her middle, and hooked one leg over hers. God, she still fit perfectly, like they hadn’t been apart a single day, like they should fit together forever.

Physically, he was satisfied, but emotionally, he was drained. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea, although when he first kissed Kat on the couch, he couldn’t have stopped for anything. But now, in addition to an overall feeling of doubt, something specific really bothered him.

“Why aren’t you having sex?” he finally got up the nerve to ask.

“Hmmm?”

“Don’t play that game, Kat. You heard me.”

“Haven’t felt like it, okay?”

He braced himself up on an elbow so he could see her face. “Did I spoil you so no one else is good enough?”

“In your dreams.”

“You always have been. But seriously, how long have you gone without a man?”

“None of your business.” She turned her face into the pillow.

“Don’t be childish, Kat. I’m just…worried.”

“Or gloating.”

Scowling, he untangled himself and sat up. “Gloating? About what?”

“That you’ve been having sex, and I haven’t.” She huffed and sat up also, facing him, defiance written all over her. “Gloating that I haven’t had sex since two nights before…uh…since the last time with you.”

“Holy shit,” he muttered. “That’s two years.”

“Two years, one month, one week, and six days, but who’s counting?”

He couldn’t do the exact math that fast, but damn, it sounded right. Now his worry ran deeper. “Is something wrong? Are you…okay?”

“If you mean physically, then yes, I’m okay.” She gulped. “It’s more of an emotional hang-up, I guess.” She leveled a piercing glare at him. “I take it you haven’t had any problems moving on.”

“Not in the sex department. Guys are different.”

“You don’t say.”

“Yeah. Our first reaction when we’re dumped is to prove to the world and ourselves that we’re still awesome studs. We can’t handle the idea that we’re not good in bed and that might be what ruined the relationship. So we screw anyone who offers.”

“I see.”

“I doubt it. You’re not a guy; you can’t fully comprehend the Neanderthal intensity of it. Anyway, once I got past that phase, I’d say my sex life became more normal. Male normal.”

“Goody for you.”

“I’m
not
gloating.” He took one of her dainty hands in both of his. “This isn’t a competition, Kat.” He swallowed twice to loosen the tightness in his throat. “Do you…think you might not want to sleep with other guys because you believe we should still be together?”

Her lips trembled, and her emerald eyes glistened. Kat’s defiance and sassiness vanished before his eyes. She opened her mouth, but then shut it before words came out.

He drew a deep breath. Emotional shit wasn’t his forte, but there was too much at stake here to let this moment slip away just because Kat was speechless. “We should give
us
another try.”

“Why?” she breathed through her swollen, well-kissed lips.

“Because I…I still love you. And I think you still love me.” He exhaled. Holy hell, he’d said it. Equal parts panic and hope made his heart race.

First she looked away and then down at their clasped hands. An eternity passed while he waited. Women liked to be told they were loved, right? Honesty should count for something too. How could she refuse after such a heartfelt confession?

When their gazes reconnected, a tear meandered down her cheek. “Oh, Dillon. Love was never the problem. I can’t imagine being more in love than…we were.”

“Were? Past tense?”

“Yes. Things change. Priorities change. People change.”

“People? Are you saying you love someone else?” Hurt and anger got caught up with panic and hope. All four emotions battled deep inside. “So you were lying about not sleeping with anyone since me.”

“I-I didn’t lie. It…it’s complicated.”

“Complicated? I don’t think so. You’ve either fucked him or you haven’t.” He snorted with disbelief. “Unless you expect me to believe that you’re in a
platonic
relationship with a guy you love more than me?”

“Something like that. Remember, there are different kinds of love.”

His eyes widened. “Holy shit. You’re in love with a woman?”

“Good grief.” She hung her head. “You are sooo from Mars.”

Mars or not, he needed space before his temper sent him into orbit. He’d just laid his soul bare, and Kat had kicked it to the curb.

He climbed off the bed and pulled on his clothes while she watched silently. “I’m going to check outside to be sure there’s no sign of the Hummer. I’ve got my key so don’t open the door to anyone.” He didn’t wait for a response.

Outside, the chilly, damp air helped cool his anger as he marched across the grounds and around the buildings. What he really needed was a ten-mile beach run, but being that far away from Kat wasn’t a good idea right now. Besides, the elephant sitting on his chest would make running difficult.

He furrowed all ten fingers through his just-fucked hair and sighed. What the hell had he been thinking? He’d been a damn fool to confess he still loved her. Since she’d already admitted that the problem had been the no-babies ultimatum, no amount of love could change that.