Wanting (28 page)

He didn’t want to go back
to PAVAD. Not tonight, and he told her so. They could deal with
everything—reports, the strange man named Kevin, everything—in the
morning. He and Carrie needed time for themselves first. Screw the
job, for once. He turned toward the downtown residential area. He
parked and they silently entered her building.

She went through her
routine, checking her mail and messages, calling for the cat. She
barely looked at Sebastian.

But he
understood.

She still didn’t have a
couch, but somehow a chair had appeared from somewhere. She stood
in the center of her home and stared. And stared.

Sebastian went up behind
her and wrapped his hands around her shoulders, easily feeling the
shivers shaking her body. “Carrie…”

She spun to face him, a
world of hurt, pain, and confusion in her eyes. “I killed a man
tonight.”

Her first? Probably. She
was so young to be in the field. “Carrie…”

“
If I hadn’t, they were
going to kill you. And then probably me. And they could have gone
after Paige and Alessandra. The others. But…I killed a man
tonight.”

Because he’d gotten his ass
into trouble. Would he ever forget the nightmares currently running
through her eyes? He didn’t think so. “Baby…”

“
If I hadn’t killed him
you’d be dead.”

What was he supposed to say
to that? It was the damned truth. He couldn’t say anything so he
acted instead. His head dropped and he kissed her, hard, with all
the pent-up heat, frustration, and every other emotion he had felt
for her over the last two weeks in that one kiss.

She kissed him back. Just
as hot.

Before he knew it they were
on the chair, her straddling him and that damned black dress riding
up around her hips. His hands dropped to her ass and he pulled her
closer.

She was a runner, and
Sebastian felt the true evidence beneath his palms. Her ass was
tight and firm, and the thigh muscles below were taut and
well-developed. Carrie had a kick-ass body.

It took him less than five
seconds to have the black dress off her and hitting the floor. “Are
you sure you want to do this, sweetheart?”

“
Yes. Hurry. Hurry.” Her
hands tugged his shirt up, pushing the cotton as far as it would
go. He obliged her unspoken order, pulled the material over his
head. Then he crushed his mouth to hers, tasting her long and deep.
He felt the silk of her bra against the naked skin of his
chest.

He hated that bra with more
rancor than he’d hated anything before. He wanted it off of her.
One hand made quick work of the clasp, pulled the emerald green
scrap off her body and flung it across her living room. It landed
on the cat’s climbing tower. Neither one of them cared.

His left hand rose, he
ignored the pulling of the healing stitches, and he touched her
very gently. He knew she was hyper-sensitive to any form of touch.
He wondered if that sensitivity applied to all the parts of her
body. She moaned. He made it a goal to find out.

His eyes jumped to her
face, taking in the flush on her cheeks, the way she wet her lips.
The way her whiskey eyes glowed golden in the light from the
ceiling fan above them. She was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.
“God, Carrie.”

He stood, lifting her with
him, using his good arm more than the other. What did he care if he
popped the stitches? He had other more important things to care
about. He carried her down the hall to her bedroom, the room he’d
seen after the burglary. Her bedding had been replaced with green
silk. Green. It was perfect for her. He lowered her to her
bed.

Her clever little hands
went straight to the belt holding his pants up. She’d obviously
unbuckled a man’s belt before. Her fingers released the snap on his
jeans. He felt the brush of her fingers against him, and it nearly
brought him begging to his knees. “Hurry, Sebastian, hurry,
hurry.”

He backed her up until the
bed was directly behind her. “No, I don’t want to hurry. Don’t want
to rush.”

“
But I do. There is time
later for more. Please. I need to feel alive.”

How was he supposed to
answer that?

By giving her what she
demanded.

Chapter 63

*****

Carrie woke alone the next
morning. Her bed still smelled like him and she wanted nothing more
than to stay exactly where she was. He’d left a note on the table
beside her bed and she grabbed it.

What had she done? The
night before had been like nothing she’d experienced. For the first
time she’d been just as eager, just as much a participant in the
physical side of things and it had shocked her. Even with Jeremy,
she had not been quite that into sex. Maybe it was just
Sebastian?

Maybe the trust between
them was just that great?

It didn’t bother her when
he touched her. Hadn’t in a long time. She couldn’t say that about
anyone. What did it mean for them?

Maybe he’d gotten what he
wanted and it meant nothing more than the two of them sharing a
night together and getting the heat between them out of their way?
Maybe that was why he’d left so early?

Maybe he’d been
disappointed by her, or by the whole act in general?

For the first time in a
long time, Carrie felt doubts surface. With the other men she’d
been involved with, the physical side of things was just
that—physical. She could have done completely without those few
experiences. She hadn’t been with them for sex, anyway.

She’d determined long ago
that the reason she’d slept with those other men was because she
wanted to experience what it was like to belong to a relationship
the way other people did. Frankly, she hadn’t been overly
impressed.

What she and Sebastian had
done the night before eclipsed her previous experiences. In many
ways. He had taken the time to make sure she enjoyed every bit of
it, asking her opinion and wants each step of the way. For the
first time for her, sex was about sharing. Really, truly
sharing.

But…what if it wasn’t for
him?

What if he was just blowing
her off this morning?

Her phone rang before she
could think of what to do. She grabbed it, quickly, and flipped it
open. “Agent Carrie Sparks.”

She listened for a
moment.

“
I’ll be there in under an
hour.”

Whatever had happened
between her and Sebastian, she’d have to deal with it later.
Hellbrook needed her. And that was what she would have to handle
first.

***

Hellbrook called her into
Edward Dennis’s office the moment she arrived at PAVAD. Carrie felt
uncharacteristic nerves hit her immediately. Was this about her and
Sebastian? Were they about to tell her they couldn’t be together
anymore? She was rarely called into the director’s office. He
always came to her when he needed a special request filled. “Chief
Hellbrook, Director?”

“
Sit down, Carrie. How are
you this morning?” Edward Dennis asked.

“
I’m fine, sir.”

“
You will make the
mandatory appointment with the counselor regarding the events of
last night, of course.”

“
I already placed a call to
her office, sir.” Carrie had filled out all the necessary paperwork
and suspected that the rest of the day would be busy with the
follow up that had to occur after an agent-involved shooting. She
fought a shiver. If she hadn’t been out there, Sebastian would
be…

“
Excellent.” Edward Dennis
grabbed a file off his desk. “Carrie…I know Unit Chief Lorcan told
you about the man who showed up here the other day looking for
you.”

“
Yes. But I don’t know
anyone named Kevin, sir. I know he’s not a relation of my mother’s
or my father’s.” Carrie shook her head. Why had someone claimed to
be related? What was it they were after? “I don’t understand what
he wants.”

“
He claims his name is
Detective Kevin Beck. From Dallas. He’s retired Texas State
Police.”

“
Still doesn’t sound
familiar. Why did he say he was looking for me?”

“
He didn’t. Wouldn’t. Said
the business was personal and he would not share it. But I had
Agent Len do some digging. This is what she found on him.” He
handed her a folder. “He seems legitimate. I thought you might want
to have the specifics, do a little digging of your own. When you
have downtime.”

“
Thank you, sir. I’ll try
to figure out what this man wants. And I’m sorry he involved
PAVAD.”

“
I’m happy to help. Now,
you should get going. I believe there is a follow up briefing
waiting for you and Agent Hellbrook in Conference Room
3B6.”

Carrie took the folder and
barely resisted flipping it open. Now wasn’t the time. Hellbrook
walked close at her side down the hallway to the conference room.
“Carrie? You doing ok? I know Lorcan called and said he was taking
you home. Are you ok?”

“
I’m fine with what
happened, Hell. Had I not been in that alley when I was, I know
what would have happened. I didn’t choose to shoot Benito, Jr. He
chose to put me in a position where I had to. If I hadn’t,
Sebasti—Unit Chief Lorcan would be dead. I can’t be happier that
the alternative is Benito Jr. dead.”

Hell studied her for a long
moment, giving her that probing look that always made her want to
squirm. Carrie lifted her eyes to his. She would not back away.
She’d done her job.

Just because she’d always
remember the look on Benito Jr.’s face when the blood finally
rushed out of him, didn’t mean she regretted what had happened.
He’d chosen a life of crime; she’d chosen to stop him. To her, it
just was. “I’m ok, Hell. Sebastian and I talked last night about
what I can expect. And he seconded me talking to the psychiatrist.
I’m ok with that, too.”

“
No nightmares last
night?”

“
Yes. But not about Benito
Jr..”

“
About what
then?”

Carrie repressed a shiver.
“Hell…there are things that I’ve seen in my past that still give me
nightmares. And there is always what happened in South Dakota. I
will always have nightmares. I know how to deal with them. Either
alone or with people who care enough about me to
listen.”

“
Like Agent Lorcan?
Carrie…”

“
Please, Hell. Don’t.
Sebastian and I…we…”

“
Aren’t really any of my
business. So Georgia tells me. But that doesn’t mean I won’t worry
about you. It’s kind of hard for me not to. Georgia, Dan, the rest
of the team, you, you’re my family. And I care.”

Carrie surprised them both
by hugging him quickly. “I know. And that’s why I can do the things
I have to do. Because I know the CCU is where I belong. But
Sebastian…I think I belong there, too. For the first time, I really
belong to someone, with someone. Other than Paige.”

Hell looked at her oddly
for a moment. “You were a ward of the state, correct?”

“
From the time I was nine.
It wasn’t easy, Hell. If this man Kevin was a relative why is he
showing up now? Do I have something he wants? What? I have nothing
from my life before the age of nine except a tiny doll and this
necklace my mother gave me the day she died. Nothing special,
nothing anyone would even want.”

“
Maybe he isn’t a
relative. I want you to think—have you angered anyone recently?” He
pushed open the door to the conference room. The rest of the CCU
waited inside, along with Malachi Brockman. And Sebastian’s team.
Carrie looked at the man standing in the far corner. Sebastian
stared back, for just the tiniest of moments. He smiled, just for
her. She felt her own lips stretch into a matching
smile.

Then she looked back at the
man beside her. She and Sebastian would talk later.

She was certain of
it.

The rest of Carrie’s day
was filled with interviews with IAB and the department psychiatrist
and her unit chief. They’d all done an excellent job of keeping her
away from Sebastian. She half thought that was Hellbrook’s doing,
but the other part of her knew that was because the two of them
were the principal characters in the shooting of Benito Quirino,
Jr.. They couldn’t let them get their stories straight.

Although she and Sebastian
had spent all night together. Thankfully, IAB and the psychiatrist
didn’t seem to know that. And Hellbrook and Ed Dennis weren’t
mentioning it.

Al and Paige were bringing
Ashleigh in one last time to do a lineup of the employees arrested
the night before. Carrie knew Hellbrook and Sebastian strongly
suspected one of them of being the man Ashleigh had seen with
Elliot Courtney in the basement. One final loose end to tie up and
the case would be finished.

Carrie felt an immense
sense of satisfaction at the role she’d played in stopping the
criminals. She’d made the world a tiny bit safer. She would never
forget that.

Chapter 64

*****

Kevin pulled up to the curb
outside Caroline’s building again. He didn’t know why; it was
late—too late for him to knock on her door and announce who he was
and what he wanted.