War Torn Love (17 page)

             
Trying to derail my own relationship, “How on earth could you be feeling that way about me - after what I just did? People are going to start talking, call me all kinds of names, if you do not marry me, you could put some distance away from all this. I have no choice, but you do.”

             
He used his hand, lifted my head, so he could see my eyes. “So what let them talk, it’s not like I’m already used to it. I am a Jew remember. To be honest, as we have been sitting here, I have thinking about how I have fantasized about seeing your naked body for years now, every time we have gone swimming together. I have dreamed of what you were going to look like underneath your clothing. So many impure thoughts. Tonight I have to say my dream came true, I thought I would have been married first. Hana I got to say you really, truly are an attractive, gorgeous woman. Quite frankly if you must know, what I have been thinking, after I began to calm down about the whole thing, was, just how lucky I am to be
marrying you, thanks to you, it’s just making the anticipation of our wedding night that much more exciting! Hana, - I do not care if you made a fool of yourself tonight.”

             
“Wait I don’t mean to interrupt you, but do I understand you, you still want to marry me, wow! Thank you so much. You know I love you.” I gave him a hug. “I’m sorry for interrupting you, go on please.”

             
“So what if people talk, you’re still you, I’m still me, we still breath the same air that we did before this all happened! The universe did not collapse in on itself. You have to remember that you are only
human;
we all do crazy things at some point in our lives, especially when we’re young, usually several times. We all make mistakes. The point is I was there to share it all with you, so I can go through the fall out with you.  If I didn’t marry you because of this, then I really would be shallow person, wouldn’t I? Besides, will it matter in twenty years? Hana I am sure we will go though many tabulations through our married life together. But do me a favor for God
sacks
please?”

             
“What’s that?”

             
“I think maybe you should really hold off drinking for a while, what do you say? Because frankly, do not take this the wrong way. But sweetie you certainly have demonstrated that you cannot hold your liquor.”

             
I began to laugh - he joined in, and he had always known how to make me feel better. “Trust me, when I say,
after what I just did, and by the way I’m currently feeling, I don’t ever want to drink again!”

             
“Well that would probably be best considering, it might be a good idea if we did not tell your parents about your little striptease! It would be for the best.  Maybe not until you sober up, because I have a strong feeling they just might hear about it. It would be better if they had heard it coming from you, than a stranger don’t you think? Your parents don’t deserve to be blind-sided.”

             
“You’re absolutely right! Thanks you, you know you are always there for me, in my corner aren’t you. Thank you for that! It really means a lot to me.”

             
“What don’t make it sound like I’m the only one in our relationship who is there for the other? I’m not this perfect person you make me out to be, I have flaws as well. You know you do not have to always put me on such a high pedestal - I am human. I could not possibly live up to this. I can recall quite a few times over the years that you have been there for me. Hey, you remember the time when we were twelve, I ended up falling out of the oak tree, fetching my kite - I ended up breaking my left leg, and my right arm. Just two days after summer had began, that would have been the most awful summer ever, don’t you remember what you did, and you voluntarily spent that entire summer locked away in my hot bedroom, keeping me company, so I would not be so bored. With the exception of having to do your chores, and going home to eat your dinner, and sleep. You nursed me, you played games with me, read to me, oh and then the Pie`ce de
resistance - who could forget your daily one woman shows you, would put on for me.

             
“Oh, I almost managed to have forgotten about my shows - I would have hoped you would have too…they really weren’t very good. You would have done the same thing for me if I had been the one that fell.  We’re my best friends after all, that’s the sort of things friends do for one another.”

             
“That’s right, so why don’t you ask yourself, why would this be any different now?”

             
It was starting to sink in - I understood what he was trying to say to me, he absolutely
-
right.

             
“You’re right – we were best friend, and as your friend – still – Hana I hate to be the one to inform you, you really can’t sing.”

“Hey!” I slugged him jokingly in his arm. “Abram?”

“Yes”

             
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you! I love you so much - even in the worst you always find a way of making the world good once more, you always seem to see the good in thing.”

             
“I love you too, that’s why I do what I do. I would do anything for you!” He bent down to kiss me, but just then as our two set of lips met up with one another, he quickly pulled away from me! I was
surprised;
he had never gone that before!

             
“What, what’s wrong? Why didn’t you kiss me?”

             
“Trust me I would have loved too, but I’m sorry to say, but your breath smells like vomit. I love you and all, but as long as you breathe reeks like that, I’m not touching your lips with a ten foot pole.”

             
“Oh I’m sorry about that!” I was so embarrassed.

             
“Hey don’t fret - I’ll take a rain check on that kiss, with interest.” He smiled as he said this.

             
We left the restraunt and headed home, whatever the outcome turns out to be from this, we agree we would stick together.

             
Once we arrived home, he made sure I was going to be ok - he walked me up to my front door, realizing I still wasn’t sober enough to walk up stairs all on my own safely, without falling, or at the very least waking up her parents. He quietly carried me inside, and all the way up to my bedroom, in his arms. Gently laying me down on my bed, he took my shoes off. And then, he quietly whispered, “goodnight my Queen.” Then he snuck out of my bedroom,
tiptoed
down the stairs, carefully past the squeaky stair, and finally out of the house before my parents caught wind of him. Poppa might have frowned on that
As for me as quickly as my head hit the pillow I passed out.

             
The morning after my ostentatious graduation, proved to be one of a substantial ear-piercing, gut twisting hangover
- agony
, and guilt and a whole lot of humiliation, I wasn’t sure how to dig myself out of this. I could hardly look to face my parents, shame must have been written all
over my face with the knowledge of what I had done as I had approached them. The last thing in the world I would have wanted to do is let them both down - I was there perfect child, who had hardly ever gotten in trouble, now what are they going to think of me? I came in and sat down at the dining room table. I went ahead, searched for strength, and proceeded to share with my parents what had happened. I love my parents to much not to tell them, even if the outcome was going to prove disastrous. They raised me better than that.

             
They were both drinking their morning coffee, and dad was eating his breakfast, one hard-boiled egg, two pieced of buttered toast, and some fresh slice fruit. In the dining room, when I apprehensively approached them both. Momma was doing dishes. I was trying to figure out exactly what sort of mood they may be in. If Poppa was in an ill mood I would be in real trouble.

             
I was greeted with Momma’s warm smile, “Well good morning sweetheart, oh you know you don’t look so good sweetheart, are you feel alright? Are you coming down with something? Did you have a late night?”

             
“No, Momma, I’m not.  I’m afraid I have a horrible hangover!”

             
“Oh, sweetheart you were drinking? Well than you need to take some aspirin, and drink some water.”

             
“Momma, how long will the effects of my hangover last?”

             
“Well let me see, it really depends on how much you had drank.”

             
“Oh, my Momma! Then if that’s the case, than I’m afraid that it might be a good while then.”

             
Poppa’s attention from reading his daily newspaper suddenly was drawn to me - he put his fork clanging down on his plate.

             
“Well then young lady, I think you better tell us both what had happened to you last night, you’re not a drinker! So why on earth did you end up drinking, in the first-place?” 

             
He had a look of utter disappointment written all over his face. If he was disappointed in me now, wait until he heard the rest of the story. I looked over at Momma…her too. I had desperately had hoped she would have stepped in on my behalf - and defended me - I guess the little kid in me was not wanting to take responsibility of my actions. However, I knew that distinctive look all too well, that look that she wanted to say something - like she was holding back, but for some reason I didn’t understand - she never really got actually around to it. She never seemed to speak out of turn, especially to father, he had final word in everything. I knew when I married I wouldn’t let Abram control me like that; I was
too
much of an independent spirit.

             
I knew I had to tell them, if I had expected them in turn to be treating me as an adult, especially after last night, that was exactly what Poppa had done, I know I let him
down. I certainly didn’t feel like having them hear about my evening from anybody else, that wouldn’t be fair to either of them.  Then I certainly thought this was the ideal time to act like one, and just come clean, no matter what the outcome shall be, take my chastisement if you will, I brother get it over with once and for all, get it out in the open. I took a deep breath, “Poppa, Momma could I have a word with you both?”

             
Momma piped in, “Sure sweetie!”

             
I took a deep breath then blurted out, “Well I ended up making a complete fool of myself at last night’s dance. I am going to be the laughing stock of the town, I am sure, when it begins to leaks out. See, they were serving beer last night, and I well the alcohol started taking hold on me.”  Just then, I noticed a strange look Poppa gave Momma. “I thought it would be fun to try some; I had surely earned a little fun, well it happened so quickly, it got out of hand on me. I consumed beer – which led to several more right after. I was so drunk I cannot possibly give an explanation to either of you, at least one that would answer either of your questions you are going to be asking. That’s not the worst of it,” I paused, my eyes filled with tears, - “ See I along with several others of the girls in my class just started getting completely rowdy, we began challenging one another - sort of truth of dare…more dare really. So while Abram left to go the bathroom, to visit with his friends for a while, I did something terrible. After consuming even more beer, and shots of vodka, I went temporarily mad I was losing control of my ability to control myself, be able to act upon right from wrong. Oh, it was so horrible! I
stripped down until I was completely naked.” My Dad nearly fell over in his chair. I went on before he could interrupt, “and if that was not bad enough, it got even worst that that. After yet another shot of vodka, I began foolishly dancing as if I was a ballerina on stage.”