Warmed and Bound: A Velvet Anthology (34 page)

BOOK: Warmed and Bound: A Velvet Anthology
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Afterword

by
Jesse Lawrence

Let me show you a magic trick

Take a book. Note the weight of it in your hands, the feel. Now, open this book. Scroll your eyes over the text, let the words flood your brain, let them opiate you like the braille of just-bared flesh. Do this and . . . you're gone.

Fragment your soul and blow it in a kiss to the world. Embrace the fervent susurrations, cradle them with your lips, taste them on your tongue. This can be done. This can be done with magic, with stories, with love letters cried onto the pages, bled through screens, body and mind racing to keep pace with each other so you may feel, so you may know. Let it into you and it will be so.

This is ceremony

This is what I do. Born to run, gunning for a heartbeat. It pulses through me, rushing like blood to excitement. It carries you, those shoes dancing to your grave. It happens every time, but I don't care. I need to run, never return, the world pieced whole in my wake. The places I've been, the people I've known. I belong to these worlds. In every alcove, around each corner. Burning in the sun and loping through the dark, my fractured self lies in wait.

One day this place will fall in, and I will not be under it

By the time earth meets sky, I am gone, a flat field swallowing me down, childhood dreams escaping my grasp. We'd never ride in cars, pulling over on back roads, dancing in headlights to the songs we found truth in and swore by. We'd never walk by lakeside houses, lay claim to those that would surely be ours. We'd never even say goodbye. So many years ago, you found your audience. When I lost mine, lost you, I went where I'd never again dare.

I didn't care, I wasn't there to feel nice

My whole life, in conversation and in action, I was going one step too far, obliterating lines already blurry in my eyes as I traversed my day by day. If one tab of blotter was good, how would two or three be? The way to know such things, it's to dive in, take the next ever-ascending step toward all you seek. You, your partners in crime. You do it just like this. Only you, you took a breath just long enough to see the approaching “too far.” You left that world behind, satisfied in knowing madness had not, in fact, destroyed your mind. But fragile still, you searched for another anodyne.

The numbness I sought, I found it in stolen glances in 'cross town bars. All those stool-perched nights, my desires mollified by the mouths of women, by the lips I wanted to sink my teeth into, draw blood from. The buckles and zippers undone, the urges expunged amidst straddled porcelain. I found it here, but was never fully sated. So I drove. Rarely stopping, I plunged out of my northern state into a desert criss-cross. My life behind me, the one I never knew.

I never did anything wrong but I never stopped thinking about the things I never did

I never whispered in your ear, ran my fingers through your hair and felt your breath on my cheek, nor did I consume you until you were paralyzed and blind. I never knew what compelled your heart to beat. Instead, what I did, I ended up here, out of fuel and shivering back into something so long gone.

On my childhood street, before I knew what men gambled in basements, before the strippers and before even the magazines, before any of these things: the family next door. A mother, and a boy the same age as me. This boy, he didn't play tag or climb trees. I never heard him laugh or speak. And when his mom passed me, my bike rolling through yards, I shied my eyes, some certain feeling in her face much too much for me, like the artist I later became, night after night my body eviscerated and puzzled back together, the threads of the physical plane fraying more, and yet even more, every time I went to stage. That feeling from her face, I learned what it could mean. I left my performance space. I instigated a war, and I bowed out of the world. Believed by all to be dead, I saved those most close and dear, my final act the cost of love.

This will all end well

Open your veins to possibility. Open your homes, your hearts, your heads. Open yourself and they will come. They know your history, your thoughts, your desires, your fears. They know the very moment your breath bates. They know you well enough to end you, but they do no harm, no. What they do, they dance unyielding ballets of fire behind your eyes. They lead you through, hands entwined and not looking back—never looking back—wholehearted and faithful, so you may emerge on the other side, your dreams never ceasing.

—Jesse Lawrence

 

 . . . will always be a love letter

 

—P

 

Acknowledgments

 

To The Velvet

Write Club and The Cult 

to Robert Baynard, Matt Bell, Misty Bennett, Tim Beverstock, Blake Butler, Will Carpenter, Vincent Carrella, Mlaz Corbier, Jason Cross, Craig Davidson, Brian Evenson, DeLeon DeMicoli, Christopher Dwyer, Stuart Gibbel, Michael Gonzalez, Amanda Gowin, Cassie Gressell, Jason Heim, Mirka Hodurova, Anthony David Jacques, Mark Jaskowski, Jay Slayton-Joslin, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Phil Jourdan, Nicholas Karpuk, Rick Keeney, Chuck King, Nik Korpon, David Law, Gary Paul Libero, Alex Martin, Colin McKay-Miller, Kyle Minor, Doc O’Donnell, J David Osborne, Rob Parker, Bob Pastorella, Gavin Pate, Cameron Pierce, Michael Raggi, Eddy Rathke, Bradley Sands, Roger Sarao, Sam Schrader, Michael Seidlinger, Devin Strauch, Hilary Tardiff, Brandon Tietz, Gayle Towell, Paul Tremblay, Simon West-Bulford, Mckay Williams and Nic Young 

and most especially

Chris Deal, Sean Ferguson, JR Harlan, Gordon Highland, Chelsea Kyle, Jesse Lawrence, Caleb Ross, Jessica Smith, Boden Steiner, Richard Thomas, Axel Taiari, Craig Wallwork and Mr Via

Livius Nedin and Robb Olson

Logan Rapp

Steve Erickson 

Will Christopher Baer, Craig Clevenger, Stephen Graham Jones

 

Thank you


PV

 

 

 
(photo and tattoo:
Doc O’Donnell
)

Final Thoughts

by
Livius Nedin
and
Robb Olson

of
Booked Podcast

The definition of
anthology
is: a collection of choice literary works. As often is the case with anthologies, the publisher spends way too much time on the collection portion of that definition. What common theme should said publisher “collect?” How many stories can he “collect?” Who is the target demographic for this “collection?” What expectations are there for this “collected” work? The most common problem with anthologies, in my opinion, is the lack of emphasis on the word
literary
.

The Velvet
community set out to write a love letter, as evidenced by the opening words to
Warmed and Bound
. A gathering of stories to celebrate a common bond, the community that developed around a respect for authors, Will Christopher Baer, Craig Clevenger and Stephen Graham Jones. Initially, it was intended as something to share amongst themselves, a way to put their works together in one place as a token of their shared affection for the group to which they all belonged. But soon that changed. Much like The Velvet itself grew from being a fan base for three fantastic authors into a genuine community of like-minded readers and writers, so grew their love letter. With
Pela Via
at the helm,
Warmed and Bound
moved from what could have been a chapbook of shorts, a “collection,” into the true definition of an anthology.

38 stories find their home in
Warmed and Bound
, seemingly without theme. 38 different authors with 38 different ideas about what The Velvet is, all piling story on top of story until it too could be called a collection. Although this assembly of short form fiction doesn’t share a location, an emotion, a common monster or even a writing style, it still manages to fit together wonderfully. This accumulation centers itself around the dark. Sometimes it’s the darkness we find in our own hearts and others, it’s the darkness that finds us. From the very start, with
Axel Taiari
’s strange world where violent suicide becomes a spectator sport, to
Chris Deal
’s touching finale, this book delivers.
Amanda Gowin
and
Caleb Ross
contribute chilling stories of family ties while
Bradley Sands
and
Paul Tremblay
bring us touches of Bizarro fiction. Pela Via and
Richard Thomas
break hearts with dark stories of love that you never see nearly enough of, while
Doc O’Donnell
and
Bob Pastorella
remind us why jumping into that love isn’t always such a good idea. And then we have showings from veterans
Brian Evenson
,
Craig Clevenger
and
Stephen Graham Jones
(need I even say anything here?) I could continue to list the great authors and stories that appear in this book but instead I’ll say this, the level of talent in this book makes it nearly impossible to discern the up-and-comers from the seasoned pros.

When I look back at the definition of anthology, as far as this “collection” is concerned, the operative word in that definition is choice. Choice literary works make this anthology something special. With so many collections struggling to hit the mark with half of the stories contained within,
Warmed and Bound
manages to strike nearly every note with lovely precision. 

Congratulations on a beautifully written love letter. 

—Livius Nedin

Warmed and Bound
is more variety show than anthology. It has 38 vastly different authors who contributed stories covering the spectrum of fiction, from bizarro to classic crime fiction and everything in between (and it likely invents a few new styles along the way). The stories range from heartwarming, inspirational and touching, to chilling, disturbing, terrifying and just goddamn heartbreaking. 

My favorite thing about this collection, and what I think makes it really stand out from others, is that it’s not 38 people who wrote a story to fit the theme of the anthology. It’s 38 stories that, when assembled into this book, tell a bigger story that becomes the theme. There are no stifled voices, no potential untapped. You are seeing everyone at their very best, and it shows. 

This is a project born of love for words, love for The Velvet, and love for the idea of the anthology itself. It’s where anthologies need to come from, and sadly that is never ever ever the case. 

I’ve stopped myself from calling this group of authors a ‘movement’ several times. Whether they are or not, or if they would even care for the label, this is the direction I want to see the realm of short fiction move in. High quality, lots of passion, and tons of fucking brilliant, brilliant talent.

As a book reviewer, I gave this book five stars (of five). As a reader and aspiring writer, I give it every damn star in the sky.

—Robb Olson

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