watching january (12 page)

“And you really didn’t know?”

“Either blind or too naïve, but no, I didn’t see it until, you know…”

Nadine shook her head and said, “Maybe I’ll never be able to figure you out.  You are fun, though,” she added while hugging my arm.

Sitting around the pool and sipping champagne, I thought of how unreal the scene was.  Heather had joined us but was quieter than usual.  We were in pairs: Jan and Griffin, Nadine and Carolyn, me and Heather; our pairing up having nothing to do with what was on marriage licenses.  It simply was the natural thing and where the fates were inexorably leading us.

What was different was the lack of sexual tension in the air, as if we’d all played that out and were simply chilling.  And I figured that was alright with me.  Nobody was suggesting nudity.

Heather broke off our small-talk conversation with, “I’ll never understand you, Roger.  They’re falling in love and you’re not stopping it.  Don’t you love her?”

“We’ve been over this ground before.  Yes, I love my wife and if this is what it takes for her to be happy then I’m all for it.  Look at her.  Look at that glow.”

“I’m looking, and I’m not surprised she’s like that after fucking my dad.”

I let that go, and our conversation died.  Since Heather didn’t want to talk anymore, I spent the time watching Nadine and Carolyn interact.  Like most men, I was intrigued to the point of arousal seeing two women get it on.  Jackie’s participation aside, our little party last night was still burned into my memory, thinking of the Vibe ladies all over each other and crying out their orgasms in their own unique ways.  Though all they were doing was making goo-goo eyes at each other, I was now hard watching them.  When I shifted my attention to Jan and Griffin, I saw that I wasn’t the only male with a boner. 

Climbing from my lounge chair I approached them, caught Jan by surprise by kissing her, and then said, “Griff, I suggest you two take a dip, and if you want to dip something else that’s entirely up to you.  Then we can get the grill going.”

Ordinarily Jan would’ve laughed at my ‘dip’ comment but now she was too focused on Griffin and therefore too horny to react.  She pulled Griffin to his feet and like two kids they dashed to the pool and jumped in.  I stood there for a while, alone, watching Griffin and Jan cavort in the pool.  I saw the raw emotion of lust and it did to me as expected.  The ladies noticed too.

Heather had disappeared, I noticed as Nadine and Carolyn beckoned me to join them.  Carolyn was the first to speak, and maybe that was a godsend since it spared me from Nadine’s stinging tongue.  “She might get it,” Carolyn said while motioning toward her lover, “but I still don’t.  You really do get off seeing them like that?” Now she was motioning to my bulge.

“I don’t know about ‘getting off’ but yeah, it excites me when I see Jan aroused.  It’s about her getting off, not me.  And it’s not about Griffin either.  She happened to be aroused by him and I encouraged it.”

While I spoke the three of us watched them in the pool.  They were like giddy teens instead of adults.  If I didn’t know better I’d think they were virgins anticipating losing their cherries, they looked that hungry, that anticipatory.  I realized I’d reached a point where I was sick and tired of answering questions about my motivation to hook Jan up with Griffin.  Somehow everyone assumes that I would eventually have a problem with it, be jealous perhaps.  Obviously the people having problems with the arrangement are Nadine and her daughter.  Maybe I read Nadine all wrong.  I thought since she leaned more to lesbianism—regardless of what she professed—that she would be okay with Griffin and Jan as long as she had a woman or two of her own, and that Griffin wouldn’t leave her.  It’s funny how the idea of an “open marriage” for Nadine and Griffin never came to mind, but now I was seeing them heading in that direction.  All I had to do was look around me.

What I didn’t see or anticipate one iota was Heather’s jealousy.  Whether or not anything transpired on my sofa late last night, Heather’s love for her father transcended the norm.  To her, it seemed, Jan was stealing her dad away from her in a way her mom never could.  Strangely, even if there was incest there, it didn’t bother me.  Without a daughter of my own I couldn’t assess the healthiness of the attraction beyond society’s mores, and so my view of Heather was very sexually charged.  Was that her father’s view too?

Inevitably Griffin and Jan slipped away into the house.  Carolyn waited a discreet amount of time before taking Nadine’s hand and guiding her into the house as well.

“I’m fuckin’ alone with a hard-on,” I muttered to myself, although I couldn’t really bitch about it since it was all my doing.  Eventually I walked into their house in search of another drink.  The sound of lovemaking echoing throughout was both arousing and melancholy at the same time.  Jan was being exceptionally vocal today, and so was Nadine.

Heather came downstairs to find me sitting on the sofa with a beer in one hand and my dick in the other.  At least I still had my shorts on and therefore a
little
dignity.  She shook her head and said, “You deserve this.  Your idea and you’re left alone to jerk-off.”

“I’m not jerking off,” I said with a grin.

“So, what are you doing?  Holding hands with your best friend?”

“Keeping him warm, that’s all.”

“I need one of those,” she said as she walked away from me, leaving me believing she meant the beer but unsure if it wasn’t also a tease.

She came back with a beer and sat next to me on the sofa.  She wore a baggy pair of gym shorts and a tight t-shirt with no bra.  With her hair a wild mess and no make-up, ironically Heather looked her sexiest to me, and I wasn’t afraid to tell her that.

“Oh, stop it,” she said.  “Can you ever think with your big head instead of the little one?”

“I’m sorry, but what I said came from my big head… for a change.”  I couldn’t help but grin again.

She looked at the bulge in my shorts and chuckled, saying “Okay.  Besides, you don’t really have a little head, do you?”

I mimed a bow and answered, “Thank you for noticing, young lady.  Now are you going to tell me what’s wrong?  Why you’re moping around like you are?”

She took a swig from her beer bottle then stared down at the bottle for almost a half a minute, like she was pondering its taste before answering me.  “I have a need to hate somebody right now.  I just don’t know who to hate more.”

When she didn’t say more, I asked “Does that include me?”

“Oh, yes, big time.  You… you pushed your hot wife at my dad and now he thinks of nobody else.”

“Does that mean you hate Jan too?  There isn’t anything devious going on with her, you know.  She wouldn’t have started anything with your father if I hadn’t encouraged her, so hate me all you want just don’t hate my wife.”

It didn’t help the conversation when at that moment Jan wailed from another orgasm.  I saw how much that sound hurt her.

She took a long draught to finish her beer and then said, barely above a whisper, “That should be me.”  Maybe I wasn’t supposed to hear it, but now the cat was out of the bag.  I didn’t need to pry.  And I now supposed that Jan had heard correctly.

“I’m sorry, Heather,” I said to her as I took her hand in mine.  “It’s not my place to comment on your relationship with your father except to say that you’re not a young girl anymore, with a young girl’s hormones.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?  That I should’ve grown out of it?”

“Not exactly.  What I meant was that in spite of your basic desires, you need to think about society’s taboos.  You and your father would be a big one.”

“Isn’t what you’re doing a taboo too?”

“In some circles it might be, but yours is taboo in all circles.”

“Just like with you and Jan, nobody would have to know,” she said, and I saw the fire in her eyes.

“Your mother would know, and isn’t that enough?”  Fire was now replaced by pain.  I held her hand tighter.  “I hope you realize that all along I’ve strongly considered your mother’s feelings.  Look, Jan and I both know that you fucked your dad last night.  What would your mother say if she knew that?”

I’d taken my shot and now waited for the denials.  I didn’t get any.  All I got was silence, though she didn’t pull her hand away.

We sat there for what seemed like an eternity before she finally met my eyes and said, “I know I’m pretty fucked up, wanting my dad like I always have.  This must be how a drug addict feels… needing a fix.  That’s why it hurts so much to see him and Jan together.  It’s like it should be me and not her.”  She sighed and glanced down at my crotch just as we heard more orgasmic sounds emanating from bedrooms.  She laughed a bit and said, “You went down but I saw it twitch when you heard them.  You are weird, Roger.  I’m not naïve, so I know some men get off being cuckolded by their wives, but that doesn’t fit you.  I don’t know what does, but it’s not that.”

I squeezed her hand, somewhat surprised she let me hold onto it so long.  “I’ve tried to explain it to you before.  It’s not easy to explain though.  I looked at a situation—my marriage—like I look at business.  I was going to lose Jan.  We really are good together but I wasn’t giving her something she needed and so it was close to being over.  Your father sparked a fire within her, and I sensed how your mom and dad’s marriage stood.  So I made the deal.  The one wild card I didn’t see in play was you.”

“You thought of my mom?  Is that why you went to Vibe, to get Mom going with her lady friends like Carolyn so she wouldn’t be left out?”

“You make it sound more like an effort at distraction. Although basically you got it right.  Remember I didn’t have anywhere else to go, did I?  Besides, I do have my own curiosities about lesbian women.”

She chuckled once more, “And maybe curious about t-girls too.  See, you’re thinking about last night and you’re getting hard again!”

“You don’t think it might be because I’m looking at those glorious nipples of yours poking at your t-shirt?”

“Don’t do that Roger.  Don’t try to seduce me like some sort of diversion.  I mean, I like you and all but not now.”

“Okay.  No seduction.  Though I mean it when I say how attractive you are to me, and how much I’d like to make love with you again.”

“You horn-dog you!” she said as she finally slipped her hand from mine.  “I never know whether or not you’re bullshitting me.”

“
He
never bullshits,” I said as I pointed to my bulge.

She was about to say something but the mood was broken when Jan and Griffin walked down the stairs and headed toward us

Chapter 19

Jan

I couldn’t wait to fuck Griffin.  You’d think I got enough of it out of my system last night, yet here I was in the pool with Griffin and all I wanted to do was fuck him.  While we played around in the pool in what my husband would inevitably think of as foreplay, I reminisced about the first time we met and several meetings thereafter.  My attraction to the older man was there from the start.  Somehow I sensed his attraction to me too, something beyond a typical male response.  Maybe there
was
something to the whole pheromones thing.

A hand inside my bikini bottoms brought me back to the here and now.  Griffin followed up his hand with some whispered sweet nothings in my ear followed by a nibble at my neck.  He knew he had me after that. 

Not for the first time did I ponder how my husband pushed us to this point.  I didn’t question his motivation any longer.  I was simply in awe with his perception.  Roger somehow knew that whatever sexual chemistry we had between us was mostly gone—that was if we had any in the first place.  It was strange how setting me up with Griffin had miraculously enhanced my relationship with Roger.  Everything seemed ironic to me, but if Roger did indeed plan it like this then he’s a genius.  He made me love him more as I went crazy in the arms of another man. 

I didn’t worry anymore.  I just went along for the ride.  And with Griffin stroking my clit while he nibbled on an earlobe, what a wonderful ride it was turning out to be.  I’d let Griffin worry about the future.  I wouldn’t.

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” I said before his clitoral ministrations could send me over the top.  I wanted more than a fingertip.

I didn’t make eye contact with anyone as Griffin led me into the house and upstairs.  Perhaps because of Griffin’s boy-like euphoria whenever we were together, every time we made love it felt like I was losing my virginity over and over again.  Hand in hand we went to their guest bedroom before our wet bathing suits came off and I pushed him onto the bed.  He was semi-erect by the time I began sucking him, and he swelled the rest of the way to steely hardness as I continued.

“Oh, God, Jan, you’re goooood!” he crooned as I took him deep into my mouth, using my tongue to augment what my lips were doing.

I stopped long enough to say, “Nadine never had the practice, I guess.”

It wasn’t the smartest thing for me to say.  I saw a flash of something dark on his face, like maybe what I said caused him to regret what we were doing.  The only thing for me do was open my mouth again but not for talk.  I kept up eye contact throughout the blow-job since I knew he loved that.  Before I sensed he was back in rhythm and would cum soon I stopped and straddled him.  I wasn’t sure I’d be wet enough but it turned out I was, sliding down onto his firm cock with ease.  I undulated back and forth as well as up and down in a spiral that I knew would get me off quickly.  His hands moved from my hips to my breasts, tweaking my nipples in the process.  I was approaching orgasms so I went faster.  The faster pace sent him over the edge first.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhh Jannnnnnnnnnnn” he bellowed as I felt the first and second of his multiple ejaculations deep inside me.

“Ohhhhhhhhhh Grifffffffffffffff,” I echoed in a way that in any other circumstance would have been funny.

We lay in silence for a while, as lovers should.

When we eventually heard Nadine and Carolyn squealing from their orgasms in the master bedroom, Griffin came out of his reverie.