Authors: Catherine Bruton
Granny falters, âBut Ian said . . .' She stops.
âIf you don't believe me then ask Jed,' says Granny Brenda. âHe was there when they gave out the contact order, weren't you, Jed?'
Jed says nothing.
âThat's what this new hearing is about â Karen wants to get the contact order enforced, to make your son comply with the schedule of access to Jed that was agreed in court.'
My granny looks at Jed. She seems really upset now. âPerhaps we should agree not to talk about this,' she says.
âKaren just wants to see her son,' says Granny Brenda.
âBut I don't want to see her!' Jed's voice sounds very loud in this funny department store café where little old men and ladies sit drinking tea and eating scones with their coats on.
âI'm sure you don't mean that,' says Granny Brenda.
âI do and no one can make me see her if I don't want to!'
âThis is just your father talking,' Granny Brenda says.
âPlease don't say things like that,' says my granny.
âAll she ever does is let me down,' insists Jed. The people on the neighbouring tables are looking over now to see what all the fuss is about.
âShe loves you, Jed. She misses you,' says Granny Brenda.
âNo, she doesn't. She just wants to win the battle with Dad.' His voice is even louder than usual (and that's saying something). I think he's doing it on purpose, like he's trying to make a scene. Even the waitresses have stopped work to watch what's going on â it's like something out of a daytime soap opera.
âIt's not about winning or losing, Jed,' says my granny.
âIt's about your right to have a mum in your life,' says Granny Brenda, who is nearly crying now.
âIs this being filmed?' I hear one old lady whisper loudly.
âI don't want my mum!' shouts Jed, standing up suddenly and knocking over his chair with a great clatter. âI don't even want to see you. I only come because Granny makes me.'
Granny Brenda's face crumples, but Jed doesn't seem to care â he just storms off in the direction of the lifts. Everyone watches him go.
âWhat a horrid boy,' I hear a lady on a table nearby say.
âHe's not horrid,' I say. âHe's just upset.'
My granny goes after Jed and when they come back, she makes him apologise to Granny Brenda. He does, but I don't think he really means it. Granny Brenda pretends everything is OK, but she looks like she's going to burst into tears again as soon as we're gone. She hugs my granny, who says that they had best agree not to talk about this again, but let the young people work it out themselves. They make a plan to meet again the next week. Then my granny tells the old people on the other tables that the show is over and they all stare at their teapots and pretend not to have been eavesdropping at all.
Jed is like a thundercloud in the lift and all the way home on the bus. Granny tells me not to worry, that he always gets like this after he sees Granny Brenda. She buys us both a Cadbury Creme Egg, but Jed says he isn't hungry, so I get to eat his too and then feel sick afterwards.
When we get home, Granny tells Grandad the counsellor is pleased with Jed's progress and I'm impressed with how good she is at lying. I wonder what else she's keeping secret.
I ask Grandad if my mum has called, but he says no.
Today Jed's acting like nothing happened and I'm playing along. He's even nuttier than usual though: crashing around the house, swinging off the banisters and jumping down the stairs six at a time. I hear Grandad saying to Granny, âWhat do you do in those sessions? He always comes back worse than he was before.'
Another card has arrived for me. This one has a picture of the Aston Villa squad on it. On the back, Gary has written,
To my star player, with a great big team hug!
Jed says it's rubbish (because he supports Liverpool) but it cheers me up loads because Gary supports City. Villa is my mum's team.
We go over to see Priti (who's bound to ask him loads of questions, so it's not like I need to anyway). We're all sitting in the tree house, but before Priti gets a chance to start the interrogation, Zara comes storming out looking mad as anything. Normally, she spends most of her time in her bedroom talking on the phone to her mates or Tyreese, so we're surprised
to see her striding down the garden â especially with her big pink fluffy slippers on.
âUh-oh,' says Priti. âHere comes trouble!'
Zara marches up, hands on hips, and I can tell she's really angry. âWhat are you doing meddling in my love life, you little brat?' she says. She doesn't shout â I suppose she doesn't want the neighbours to hear â so she's kind of hiss-whispering.
âWhat are you doing going out with a criminal?' Priti retorts. She also has her hands on her hips and they look like little and large mirror images of each other.
âNice slippers by the way,' says Jed, leaning over the platform of the tree house and grinning at Zara.
Zara just glares at him.
âZara still reckons it's OK to shag the brains out of the guy who knifed her cousin,' says Priti. I notice she's hiss-whispering too. She might be mad at Zara, but she's still protecting her secret.
âTyreese did not do it!' says Zara.
âYou sure about that?'
âIf he's supposed to have done it, why would the police release him?' says Zara.
âThey haven't got enough evidence yet, that's why!' says Priti.
âBecause there
is
no evidence, little sister!'
âYes there is and we're going to find it and prove it to you.'
âYeah, right.'
âIf we can prove he did it, will you dump him?' asks Priti.
She stares at Zara. Zara stares back.
âI thought he already dumped her?' says Jed.
âLike you understand anything about relationships,' says Zara.
âThey got it back on,' says Priti. âWorst luck.'
âAnd my darling sister was so narked about it she decided to send him a text with a picture of me in my wedding gear â headscarf and all!' says Zara.
âSexy!' says Jed.
âNot!' says Priti, snorting.
âActually, he thought it was,' says Zara with a little toss of her head.
âWhich is just plain weird, if you ask me,' says Priti.
âWhat is your problem? Do you fancy him yourself? Is that it?'
âI don't go for criminals!' says Priti. âSo will you?'
âWill I what!'
âDump him if we can prove he did it?'
I look from Zara in her fluffy slippers and miniskirt to Priti, who's wearing a polka-dot playsuit that Zara gave her as a hush payment, with striped leggings and a Hello Kitty visor and matching leg warmers. Neither of them looks as if they're going to budge.
âLike I'm going to make a bargain with you,' says Zara.
âFine!' says Priti. âI'll just tell Mum and Dad about you and Tyreese then, shall I?'
âYou can if you like, but you'll be in just as much trouble as me. And if they're up for an honour killing, they might as well kill two birds with one stone. They can probably get a discount.'
Zara turns to go. âJust keep out of my love life!' she snaps.
âIt's been nice looking down your top,' Jed calls
after her. âDo I get to cop a feel if I keep schtum about your boyfriend?'
Zara swings round and glares. âYou say a word about him and I'll make sure you never get a girlfriend for the rest of your life, you little pervert.'
Then she storms off, tripping up on her slippers as she goes, which spoils the effect a bit.
âJust wait till we get the incriminating evidence!' Priti shouts after her. Zara doesn't even bother to look back.
âWhat evidence?' I ask after she's gone.
âNo idea,' says Priti. âBut I can't let her get the last word in, can I?'
It turns out it's not that easy finding evidence. We don't have any leads, none of us knows how to do DNA analysis, we can't talk to any witnesses (even if there were any) because we're not allowed to go out on our own, and we can't interrogate Tyreese and force a confession out of him because he's hardly going to spill his guts unless we know how to do some of that proper torture stuff, and we don't.
Jed reckons our best bet is to wait till Mik is babysitting again and then sneak out to the park and hope we bump into him, but we've got Shakeel today, so we'll never get away with it.
It starts raining and we discover that the roof on the tree house leaks so we abandon our lookout and hang out in Priti's room and talk about how they solve crimes on TV. When we get bored of that, Priti tells us about the party that happens the day after the wedding â the one everyone on the road has been invited to. I reckon it sounds fun, but Priti says it won't be and
that by then she'll probably have died of wedding boredom anyway.
âI'm going to agree to an arranged marriage with the elephant man, so long as I can sneak off and do it without all the fuss,' she says. âMind you, the bride does get loads of new outfits. Maybe I could put up with it for the wardrobe!'
âSo what does Ameenah see in a loser like Shakeel?' Jed asks. We haven't been in Priti's room much because Zara says she doesn't want smelly boys in there, so I'm having fun looking at all the weird things she has â like fluffy pens with feet and loads of little plastic animals and a collection of cacti with woolly hats on.
âDunno,' says Priti. âThey've just known each other forever.'
âShe's probably in it for the money,' says Jed, who's been checking out all the girlie stuff. Priti won't let him look in Zara's underwear drawer, but he's messing with all her make-up and flicking through her magazines. âShe knows he's going to top himself, so she gets a great payout when he carks it,' he says.
âI hadn't thought of that,' says Priti, who is sitting
by the window spying into the neighbours' houses with my dad's binoculars, which I've taken to carrying round with me for some reason.
Jed gets up and joins her and says he can see Stevie's mum taking off her bra in her bedroom. âThat bump is massive!' he says, âWhat's she got in there? A baby hippo or something?'
âGive me back the binoculars,' says Priti, grabbing them from him and training them on the upstairs window of Stevie's house. She can't see anything and, when I have a look, neither can I, so I reckon Jed just made it up about seeing her topless. But he keeps going on about Mrs Sanders' boobs, and the thought of it makes me feel a bit odd. I can't stop glancing over at her house in case she decides to do another striptease.
Through the binoculars, we can see Stevie watching TV in the sitting room. Jed reckons it's the show with the talking flowers, but I say it's the one with all the fluffy night-time creatures and then he laughs at me because I know the difference.
âYou watch baby TV with your mum!' he says.
Although he's pretending to be all normal, he's still in a funny mood.
âNo I do not!' I say.
âYeah. You do. You and your mum all cuddled up on the sofa, watching the dancing daisies and drinking beddy-byes milk. You're probably still breastfeeding.'
âI am not!'
âThat's why you miss her so much.' Jed laughs and Priti does too.
I stand up. My fists are tingling. I don't know what I'd have done if Priti hadn't suddenly said, âShut up, you two! Look.' She points out of the window. âWho's that?'
I look where she's pointing and see a woman knocking on Granny and Grandad's door. She looks like she's been knocking for a while and getting no answer because she's really banging.
âCan't she tell they're out?' says Priti, but Jed and I don't say anything because we both recognise the person.
I haven't seen my Auntie Karen for a couple of years, but I glance at Jed, who's gone all pale and
his mouth is in a straight line, and then I know it's definitely her â Jed's mum.
âWhat do your reckon she wants?' asks Priti, who has no idea and is just enjoying the drama of it. Jed's mum is shouting something now. âI'm going to open the window, so we can hear what she's on about.'
Before either of us can stop her, Priti props open the window and leans out. Jed's mum's not at the front door any more â she's moved back a few metres down the drive so that she can shout up at the house.
âLet me see him!' she's shouting. âI need to see him!'
âThis is great!' says Priti. âThe most exciting thing that ever happens on this street is the supermarket delivery van. Hey, do you reckon your grandad is having a steamy affair?'
âShut up,' says Jed.
âNo need to be ageist! Old people have girlfriends too, you know,' she says.
âShut up,' I say.
âWhat?' Priti turns round and looks at us both. âWhat's up with you?' she says to Jed. âYou look well weird.'
The woman is shouting louder now: half screaming, half crying. âI have a right to see him. I've got a court order to prove it. Please let me see him.'
âWhat's she on about now?' asks Priti.
âJust close the window,' says Jed.
âWhy? This is class! Do you reckon I should shout out and tell her they aren't in?'
âShut the window,' says Jed again. His face is so pale it's like all the blood has gone out of him.
âPlease! Please! Have pity!' Jed's mum shouts again. âI need to see him. I need him to know how much I love him.'
âWho'd have thought anyone would fancy your grandad? She's pretty too, and way younger than him! Dirty dog!'
âShut the window, Priti,' I say, but she's still leaning out of it making it impossible for either me or Jed to reach the handle.
âWhat is with you two today?'