Welcome to Bluestone 1 - Bluestone homecoming (20 page)

“Because you figure I’m the kind of guy who’d
dump his kid with his parents and head off to a war zone, so why
would I stay with you? Is that who you think I am?”

She blanched, paler than she’d been in the
bar when she first saw Charles. Hurt flashed in her eyes but she
didn’t cry. Instead, she scrambled to her feet and brushed off her
bottom with shaking hands.

“Maybe at first, but not anymore. And just so
we’re clear, this is who I am. The counselor, the woman who gave
her child up for adoption, the preacher’s daughter, the woman who
thought she was in love with you. That’s who I am.” With that, she
spun on her heel and strode back across the street to the parking
lot.

He stood, too. He should call her back before
she got in her car. She was in no condition to drive. Nerves had
trembled along her entire body. But she hadn’t been crying. He got
as far as the curb, ready to stop her, but she gunned out of the
parking space in a whirl of gravel, twisted the wheel and hit the
pavement with a screech of tires. Then she was gone.

“She hasn’t changed much,” a voice behind him
said, and Leo pivoted to see Charles standing behind him,
smug-faced. Leo wanted to punch him, though the man wasn’t the
problem, just the impetus.

“What do you want from her? Really?” Leo
demanded.

“I told you. I did her wrong. I wanted to
make amends.”

“That’s going really well, you might have
noticed.”

“Yeah, well, this time I wasn’t the one who
had her driving off in a huff.”

Leo scowled at the reality of the statement.
God, his mind was a muddle. He never would have expected Trinity to
be keeping such a secret. Yes, it had happened a long time ago, and
yes, they hadn’t been seeing each other that long, and yes, she was
right that she didn’t know if he was going to stay, if she should
reveal her secret. But damn it, they were lovers. Didn’t that count
for something? Did she really view him as someone who would turn
his back on her? He knew she hadn’t had—oh, hell. She’d told him it
had been awhile since she’d been with someone and now he knew why.
She hadn’t been with anyone since the birth of her child. Talk
about learning one’s lessons the hard way.

He found himself in front of Lily’s door.
“You knew about Trinity’s baby?” he asked without preamble when she
opened the door, dressed in loose-fitting knit pajamas, her hair up
in a ponytail, make-up washed from her face.

She stepped back to invite him inside
wordlessly.

He hadn’t been inside her place since he’d
been back, the dark-wooded, low-ceilinged place a little
claustrophobic. He felt he had to dip his head. He knew she’d
gotten the place from her folks, but very little had been done to
make it her own. Still, he wasn’t one to talk. He hadn’t even found
a home for himself and Max. Now everything he planned seemed
just—wrong.

“I knew about her baby. I know what a hard
decision it was for her. I know it’s something she lives with every
day.”

He dragged his hand through his hair. Why had
he come here? Lily would stand up for Trinity, and she should. Leo
wanted someone to tell him he was right to feel betrayed. “She
didn’t tell me. She says she was going to, but Charles showed up so
she didn’t have a choice.”

“Why do you think you needed to know?”

He stared. Was she really so oblivious?
“We’re involved.”

Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder and
folded her arms over her chest. “And you’ve told her you love her
and all that?”

“No, but I went down to Saint Paul to spend
the weekend with her.”

Lily’s lips set in a stubborn line. “So you
could sleep with her. Has she said she loves you?”

He huffed out an impatient breath. “Why is
that a prerequisite to telling the truth?”

“Maybe she didn’t want to reveal that part of
herself to you. You know who she is, where she comes from. She has
an overdeveloped sense of shame, and I’m thinking maybe you didn’t
help her with that.”

The women were in it together, turning it
around on him. “All I want is honesty, trust from the woman I’m
with. Is that too much?”

“Leo, think about it. If it was you and you
lived through the humiliation of your parents’ disapproval and your
boyfriend’s abandonment and you made this incredible decision on
your own—would you be bouncing around telling people?”

Here she was doing the same thing, lumping
him in with everyone else. He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I
don’t like secrets.”

“Who does? Especially not reporters, I’d
imagine.”

“I don’t know what to do next.”

“Go to her, tell her you understand why she
didn’t tell you, live happily ever after.” She tossed her hands in
the air. “Problem solved. Thanks for coming to Lily’s Relationship
Resort.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

Lily lifted her shoulder. “Then break up with
her over something she did when she was a kid. Just be aware that
makes you the jackass, not her. You’re a fine one to judge after
you dumped your son on your parents so you could keep working
overseas.”

“No, it’s not that. I mean, I can understand
the decision. But—I just need to think.” He backed toward the door.
“I got an offer to cover a hearing in Washington DC. I think I’m
going to take it, take the space. If she asks…”

Lily sighed. “Tell her yourself. I’m not
going to be your messenger girl. And you’d better get someone
beside Quinn to run the projector. Tony had to stop him from
throwing the thing in the lake.”

He opened the door, and instantly saw Quinn
across the street in front of the bar. Worse, Quinn saw him, and
saw Lily behind him in her pajamas. Crap. Yeah, he was making all
kinds of impressions tonight.

Quinn scowled and stalked to his house behind
the bar.

Leo nodded in that direction. “Maybe you
should look to that, Miss Relationship Resort.”

She waved her hand. “Whatever that might have
been is in the past. Don’t worry about me. Worry about Trinity.
Don’t make her ashamed of what she did, Leo. Don’t be like her
parents.”

Yeah, way to put the pressure on.

***

Trinity woke to the sound of something
rattling her window. She lifted her head from her pillow and peered
in that direction. Just when she thought she might have imagined
it, the sound came again. She tossed back the covers and crept
across the carpet to look outside.

Leo stood on her lawn, bouncing something in
his palm. She glared for a moment, then slipped on her robe and
slipped downstairs and out the front door.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded,
crossing the wet grass, in her bare feet to confront him. “And how
did you know which was my window?”

“Frilly curtains.” He tapped his temple. “I
was thinking. I have to tell you I’m leaving.”

“What?” Panic clutched her chest, left her
light-headed. He couldn’t deal and he was going to bail.

He stepped forward, and for a moment she
thought he’d steady her, then his hands fell away. “Jim down in St.
Paul offered me an assignment in DC that will take me about a week
and I’m thinking maybe the space would be good. But I didn’t want
to leave without saying anything to you, didn’t want to make you
think I was pissed. I’m not—just confused. All right?”

She tucked her hair behind her ears and
glowered. “Confused about what, exactly? This is a choice I made
years ago, a choice I’d make today in the same circumstances.”

He frowned. “I didn’t come here to fight. I
just—there are a lot of things going on in my head, I have this job
offer, and I want to go.”

She jabbed her chin at him. “Then go.”

He blew an impatient breath through his nose.
“I didn’t want to leave without saying good-bye. I didn’t want you
to think I was running away from you.”

“Aren’t you?”

“No. I just want to see what I want.” His
voice was tight with frustration. “I’m going. I’ll be back next
weekend.”

She swayed forward on the balls of her feet,
then, knowing he’d reject her, she pivoted toward the house so she
wouldn’t have to watch him drive away.

***

Trinity was bleary eyed—she hadn’t been able
to go back to sleep after Leo’s visit last night—when she met
Charles at the diner in Wilson the following morning. She hadn’t
intended to, but Lily had called, acting as go-between, so Trinity
had taken a personal day. Trinity had insisted on the distance from
her home town, not wanting any of her neighbors and student parents
to know her business. And Trinity figured if she met with him, he’d
leave and she could figure out the rest. Like how important it was
for Leo to accept her, or if this was the sign she’d been looking
for, the sign to move away from Bluestone and move on.

Charles looked as handsome as the boy she’d
fallen in love with when she walked into the diner, but she pushed
all those thoughts away. He stood beside the table, his eyes warm,
a hint of a smile playing around his lips, until she took her
seat.

“I don’t have a lot of time. I only took the
morning off,” she said. “I need to be back by eleven.”

He took a deep breath. “I want to find
Rachel. I want her to know she has brothers. I want her to know she
has a family connection.”

That was what she’d been afraid of. Charles
clearly had no qualms about screwing up everyone’s life because of
his own need to atone. She strove for a reasonable tone. “We don’t
even know if she knows she’s adopted. She’s still very young, not
even eight.” And not one birthday had passed without Trinity
crying, wondering what might have been.

Charles frowned. “So you don’t keep in
contact with them? I thought you knew where they were, had pictures
of her, something?”

Trinity shook her head. “I chose not to have
any contact. To do so would be selfish on my part, just because I
wanted to know her. What I really wanted was for her to have as
normal a life as possible. If they decide to tell her she’s
adopted, they know where to find me if she wants to get to know me.
Otherwise…” She shrugged, the gesture more casual than the emotions
roaring through her warranted.

He sat back, his mouth pulled down in
disappointment. “I really wanted to meet her. I never thought it
would be so hard having my own family knowing she was out there.
Isn’t it hard working with kids every day and not thinking about
her?”

Her heart squeezed. She wanted to have other
children some day, had really been thinking about it since she’d
been with Leo, and she’d worried she’d feel guilty about Rachel and
the decision she’d made. Charles mentioning his own guilt didn’t
help matters. But she knew she’d done the right thing for everyone.
Why couldn’t anyone see that?

“I think about her every day, whether I work
with kids or not. But yes, I’d like to think it makes me more
sensitive to their needs.” She’d decided to become a counselor
after her own post-adoption counseling. But she didn’t think she
could be rational when it came to counseling women considering
giving up their babies. Plus, not a lot of call for that in
Bluestone, and she’d had so much debt she had to move home. “What
did your wife say when she found out you had a daughter you gave up
for adoption?”

“I didn’t give her up,” he reminded her.

She made a face. “I’m looking for some
guidance here, and you should give it to me since you screwed
everything up in the first place.”

He sat back, understanding dawning. “With the
guy at the bar?”

She scowled. Charles was the last person she
wanted to discuss Leo with, but she didn’t know anyone else who had
the same frame of reference. “It’s new. I was planning to tell him,
just not yet. When did you tell your wife?”

“Before we got engaged. I didn’t want her to
feel trapped, you know, by revealing it to her after she was
wearing my ring.”

She wanted to believe he’d changed, had
become that thoughtful, but she couldn’t. “Big of you. And how did
she take it?”

“Pretty well. Something in my past, sad and
all, but in my past.”

“And how does she feel about you trying to
find Rachel now?”

He lifted a shoulder. “She’s not crazy about
it but she understands. My parents are really hoping I can locate
her.”

“Do your sons know?”

He shook his head. “They’re little. Three
years old and one year old.”

“Ah.”

“I’m sorry I messed things up for you and the
guy from the bar—”

“Leo.”

“Leo,” he echoed. “But I needed to know.”

“You didn’t go with me to counseling. You
should have, or at least gone on your own. I’m sorry it’s hard for
you, but I can’t help you. I have to get back to work. Will you be
going home now?”

He nodded reluctantly, focusing on his
coffee. “Do you want me to let you know if I find her? If I get in
contact with her birth parents?”

Trinity’s heart squeezed. She wanted to say
no, keep the break clean, but her heart couldn’t allow that. She
nodded once. “Just give me a call. I don’t know if I can go see
her, but…yes. I’d like to know.” Once that decision was made, she
bolted for the door.

***

Leo cursed the traffic that had him idling
half a block from his hotel in the capitol. He should have just
walked the distance from the hotel to Congress, but the city was
hot and humid and crowded. He didn’t want to be sweaty when he sat
in the hearing, but he was sure sweating now. He craved the cool
darkness of his hotel room, away from the crowds and the crazy, and
alone with his thoughts.

Okay, maybe not that, because everything
circled around to Trinity. He wanted to call her, wanted to hear
her voice, but knew it would be defensive and tight and he wanted
everything easy the way it had been the past few weeks.