West of Nowhere (6 page)

This one took the cake, and the moment she stepped out of this truck, she needed to start making a real plan for getting her life back on track, which wasn’t going to happen in Limon. Joy had refused her offer to help pay for gas, so she still had about two hundred dollars in her purse. That might get her home on a bus, but she probably wouldn’t be able to take Skippy, so that was out. More than likely, she’d have to find someone on their way back east and hope they were as nice as Joy.

But where was home? Corey had gone to great lengths to make sure she wasn’t welcome back in Nashville. There wasn’t a soul there who would take her in until she got on her feet, and she couldn’t just sleep in the park. His whole plan had been to box her into going back to her parents in Shelbyville, probably the only people in the world who would put a roof over her head.

Except maybe Molly, whom she hadn’t seen or spoken to in over three years. Limon sucked, but it wasn’t Shelbyville, and if those were her only choices…

Then without a word Joy slid the gearshift into Drive and eased out of the parking lot. At the intersection she turned onto the highway and merged with westbound traffic, setting her cruise control at seventy.

Amber didn’t care if Joy strapped her on top in a crate, as long as she didn’t leave her in Limon.

* * *

Joy had never done anything so crazy in her whole life. It was one thing to pick up strays on the side of the road, but quite another to bring one home.

“Okay, Amber, I have this idea.” For reasons she couldn’t fathom, she was nervous. It was presumptuous to think Amber would go for her plan, but it had to be a better alternative than staying behind in a place that made the Bates Motel look like a five-star resort. “My pop needs some help for the next three or four months. Suppose you come with me to Oakland…try it out for a week or two. If it works out, you’ve got a place to live while you get back on your feet and figure out what you want to do next. If it doesn’t, I’ll get you a plane ticket for wherever you want to go. Skippy too.”

Amber didn’t miss a beat. “First of all, yes. Second of all, what exactly do I have to do?”

“Just be there to help him. He won’t be able to get in or out of his chair by himself, and he can’t push himself around with just one arm.”

“Do you think I’ll be able to lift him? I’m pretty strong. I used to help Corey haul his amplifiers all over the place, and believe me, that shit’s heavy.”

Her voice had come alive with excitement, Joy noted, a dramatic contrast to the gloom she had shown only moments ago at the Gateway Lodge. In the next couple of days, Joy would have to work on dialing back that eagerness because her father wouldn’t be able to stand it.

“You shouldn’t have to lift him at all. Just help stabilize him so he can swing himself in and out of his chair.”

“I get it. You’re saying he can stand on his own if I just stabilize him.”

The question jarred her and she mentally played back everything she’d told Amber about her father’s condition. “No, he’s a bilateral above-knee amputee…he doesn’t have any legs.”

“Oh.”

Joy was accustomed to dealing with people’s initial discomfort about her father. Her childhood friends had stared with curiosity at his pinned-up pants, and a couple of potential girlfriends had vanished after their first meeting, no doubt put off by the prospect of someday having an invalid father-in-law. What none of them realized was how utterly normal his life was, with only the smallest of limitations.

“Does that bother you?”

“No, I just…I’ve never been around anyone like that. But I’ll do whatever he needs—cook, clean…I can even give him a bath. All you have to do is show me how. I learn fast.”

Joy was glad she hadn’t been drinking anything because it would have been spewed on her dashboard. “I wouldn’t mention the bath if I were you. He might like that idea for all the wrong reasons. But he’ll be glad to have somebody clean the house for him. That doesn’t mean he won’t look over your shoulder and yell at you for doing it wrong.”

“And I thought you got all that neat-freak stuff in the navy.”

“I did, but before that, I got it from him, and he got it from the navy. I’ve been yelled at so much, I finally decided it was just easier to do it right the first time.”

Amber groaned. “Great, he’s probably going to rip my head off every time I turn around. But like I said, I’ll learn.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just do your best. He’d be more annoyed if you were perfect and he didn’t have anything to complain about.”

“Sounds like a piece of work. But I can handle him.”

Joy had her doubts about both of them. Her pop would probably take one look at Amber and ask whose bratty kid she was. And Amber…after one of her father’s tirades, she’d either dissolve in tears or erupt in swear words.

At least Joy wouldn’t have to be there while they worked out their differences. Too bad the airline didn’t allow overtime.

With her eyes open barely a slit, Amber studied Joy’s profile as she drove westward in the waning light. From this angle, she looked a lot softer than she had chinning the crossbeam, but was still a far cry from anything Amber would call feminine. Tiny gold post earrings peeked out from under her dark hair, which was cut even with the top of her collar, and what she had first thought was a smooth complexion was actually a light coat of perfectly applied makeup, barely enough to notice.

“You’re wearing makeup!”

“I am not.”

Amber swiped a finger down Joy’s cheek and checked it, finding a beige smear. “You most certainly are. You wouldn’t let me put any on because we were in such an all-fire hurry to leave.”

“It’s not makeup. It’s sunscreen.” She opened the mirror on the underside of her sun visor and rubbed the smudge off her cheek. “I wear it everywhere I go. You should too.”

“I should have known.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I have no problem wearing a little makeup when the situation calls for it, but that doesn’t include riding in a truck across Wyoming.”

“No need to get so defensive. I wasn’t trying to imply that you never dressed up or anything like that.” Though it was hard to imagine Joy going out of her way to look “pretty” in the normal sense, no matter what the situation. “I’m just not surprised that you always wear sunscreen…and your seat belt, and sensible shoes. Because you never even get in the truck without walking all the way around it to check the tires.”

“What’s wrong with that? You ever have a flat tire on a truck this size? It’s a pain in the butt.”

“All flat tires are a pain in the butt. Believe me, I’ve had my share.”

“Maybe if you checked them before you took off down the road, you wouldn’t have so many.” Her voice wasn’t particularly scolding, and she even wore a little smirk in the corner of her mouth.

Joy was regimented about practically everything, and it began to dawn on Amber that her new job with Joy’s father might be tougher than she’d first thought. Corey always said the only thing worse than her cooking was her housekeeping, and there was some truth to that. Of course, he was a slob who expected hamburger to taste like steak, so she couldn’t have pleased him if she’d tried. But she didn’t want to blow this chance in California, and she especially didn’t want to let Joy down, not after she’d done so much for her.

“So you’re a military brat. I’m guessing that gay thing didn’t go over well.”

Joy huffed…almost a chuckle but not quite. “Could have been better, but it turned out okay. They were hoping for lots of grandkids.”

“Kids are overrated. I think the best parents are the ones that have to adopt. They appreciate their kids more because they have to jump through so many hoops to get them. It’s not like you can skip a few pills and accidentally adopt one.”

“I don’t know about that. Getting Madison was kind of an accident, but I couldn’t love her more than I do. I’d give anything to adopt her though.”

As Joy described her relationship with her goddaughter, Amber tried to imagine one of her friends designating her as a guardian for a child. That would never happen in a million years, not only because no one in their right mind would trust her with a child, but also because she’d never agree. Raising kids took something special. At the very least, you needed a stable home life and a good job, to say nothing of a halfway decent role model from your own parents.

“I had a baby once,” Amber announced flatly. “A boy. Five years ago, when I was nineteen. I gave him up for adoption and I’ve never had the urge to see him again.”

Joy didn’t reply, but her wide eyes suggested she was somewhat taken aback. Little wonder, since Amber’s choice of words probably made her sound cold and uncaring. Nothing could be further from the truth.

“See, I got pregnant back when I was with Archie and it totally freaked him out. Me too, for that matter. I wasn’t ready for a baby any more than he was, but I figured we screwed up so it was time for us to start acting responsible. His idea of being responsible was for me to have an abortion. I kept putting it off because I thought he’d change his mind when it started kicking and stuff. Instead, he took off, and after feeling it move around inside me…well, I decided it was alive and I couldn’t just kill it. My friend, Molly, the one who moved to Limon…she hooked me up with a lawyer who found this couple in Arkansas to pay all of my medical expenses if I gave them the baby as soon as it was born.”

She recalled the meeting in the lawyer’s office. The woman had been through some kind of cancer scare that left her unable to have children, and it seemed like a baby was what she and her husband wanted most in the world. It was the first time Amber could remember people being so nice to her, asking about her health and well-being, and if she needed anything to be comfortable. She knew from the get-go they were more concerned about the baby, and with staying on her good side so she wouldn’t change her mind. It gave her comfort to know he would be going to a family that would love him and provide for him in a way she couldn’t.

“They offered to do one of those open adoptions, where I could send birthday cards and presents and they’d send me pictures as he grew up, but all that stuff sounded like it was for me, not him. I thought we’d all be better off if I just got out of the picture.”

“Hmmm.”

Still no reaction, but at least she wasn’t being critical, Amber thought.

“What, you think that was bad? Harmony did. She was like, ‘How could you abandon your own child?’ It’s not like I left him on a doorstep. I made sure he was going to a good home.”

“It’s never bad when you put a child’s well-being first. That’s what responsible adults are supposed to do. You’re lucky you felt good about where he ended up. I thought leaving Madison with Syd was best for her, but I’m not so sure anymore.”

“How come she ended up with you guys? Didn’t she have any grandparents?”

“Not really. Her father was African-American and that didn’t go over very well with Carrie’s folks. She quit having anything to do with them and they never even came around looking for Madison after she died.”

“Sounds like something my folks would have done.”

“That’s what I meant about you doing right by your baby. I don’t always trust Syd to put Madison’s needs first.”

“And that’s the main reason I don’t want to see my kid anymore. I want to think of him as happy and healthy…because there’s nothing I can do about it now if he isn’t. It’s not like I could turn into a great mother all of a sudden and get him back. It’s all I can do to take care of Skippy, and let’s face it—I couldn’t even do that if you hadn’t picked us up. What if I’d been left in a parking lot with a five-year-old?”

Joy shook her head. “I don’t think that would have happened. Having a kid makes you more sensible whether you’re ready for it or not.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.”

* * *

Joy positioned her laptop so she was directly in front of the webcam and cracked her knuckles.

“I hate when you do that!” Madison squealed from the screen, covering her ears. “I can’t believe you always do that to me.”

“Because I know it drives you crazy,” she said with a mischievous grin. “How was your first day of school? You like your teacher?”

Amber had volunteered to do their laundry, giving Joy a small window to catch Madison before she went to bed. She’d been careful not to tell her goddaughter about how she’d picked up someone on the side of the road, since it wasn’t in keeping with the lessons about being cautious about strangers.

“I’m in Cheyenne, Wyoming…a little over halfway home. My butt’s going to feel weird next week when it doesn’t have that truck seat attached to it.”

“I know. I close my eyes and it still feels like I’m riding. I wish I was.”

“Nah, it’s better for you to be in school with your friends. I bet Syd’s glad to have you back home.”

“If you say so.”

Joy couldn’t tell if that was a typical response to having homework, chores and bedtime rules again, or something in particular related to Syd and perhaps her new boyfriend. Whatever the cause, it made Joy want to turn around and go back for her, especially after her conversation with Amber today. It didn’t seem right to leave Madison floundering where she clearly wasn’t happy.

“Are you getting to know Mitch?”

“I guess. He goes upstairs after dinner and shuts the door. Syd goes too but then she comes back after a while…to make sure I go to bed.” The last words she muttered drearily. “She’d be mad at me for telling you though. She told me last night that what we do at home is private, and I’m not supposed to talk about it at school and stuff.”

It wasn’t surprising Syd would want to keep her new living situation on the down low, especially since Mitch—like all the others—would probably be history in a few months. But Joy didn’t like the idea of making Madison feel ashamed about her home life.

“All families are like that, sweetie. We like to keep certain things private, but you don’t have to worry about what you say to me. I’m family too, you know.”

“I’m not even supposed to tell people about you anymore, or even Grandpa Shep. Our teacher wants us to write a story about what we did over the summer, and I’ll have to say stupid stuff like going to the pool with Tara.” Madison must have known her words would be hurtful because she delivered them with genuine scorn.