What a Girl Wants (23 page)

“My boss does most of the schmoozing. She’s a natural.”

“So what do you say to dinner?”

I smile. He actually asked twice, and I do have Seth’s blessing. Arin’s too, though neither bring me any peace. “Dinner sounds wonderful. It’s been so long since I’ve been anywhere but Chili’s or the like, I hope I know which fork to use.”

“I never
did
know which fork to use, so you’ll be ahead of me.” He grins. Have I mentioned his perfectly-squared jaw? Because it’s moviestar perfect and I find myself staring at it each and every time I see Kevin.

“I should get back to work. My boss will be waiting. She’s in a bit of a mood today.” I stand up and I watch his eyes float over my figure, then a sly smile come over his face
. Scandalous!
But, um, kinda hot too, and I feel one hundred feet tall.

“You look incredible in that suit. That’s not sexist to say that, is it?” he asks. “I never know these days what’s okay.”

“It’s never sexist to tell a woman she looks good. Trust me on that one.”

“So tomorrow night?” He sits back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest, which is far too brawny for someone brainy.

“I feel like I should say something in French.”

“You might have more luck if you spoke Chinese or Spanish to me. My French is nonexistent.”

I grab my purse, which has snaked itself around the chair. One good tug from me sends it crashing to the floor. All heads turn to stare like I’m an unruly toddler in their last bastion of peace.
I feel
like I should say something in French? Sheesh, I feel like I should put
a bag over my head while someone puts me out of my misery
.

Grinning, Kevin rights the chair and my eyes are glued to the muscles in his forearm.

“Bye,” I say quietly and scamper before he has time to change his mind about the dinner.

My coffee is strong. And with the heady chocolate flavor, I just take a long drawn sniff when I get out the door: today’s smelling salts.

There’s a message on my cell when I get to the car and I listen to voice mail, which has Purvi yelling that she wants to leave for some sleep and
where is her car?
Like I wanted to drive this heap all morning to cart Boy Wonder around.

I didn’t take time to pray today and I feel it. It’s not something I can do without, so why do I try? A dead-stop on Highway 101 and only Purvi’s sad radio system to entertain me. I’m just wishing for my six-CD changer.

While sitting in traffic, I dial up Brea. She’s not a morning person, but she’s also never really grumpy either, so I take my chances. She answers on the first ring.

“Hi, Ash. Seth called me and told me you were all right last night. Thanks for calling back!”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking last night. I spent the night at Kay’s. What’s going on with you?”

“John just went to work. We didn’t sleep a wink last night worrying about the adoption.”

“When is she due again?”

“Two months, we think. Originally, we thought three, but she hasn’t had an ultrasound yet, so we’re trying to get her covered under our insurance. John is taking care of all that today. Hopefully, it will go without a hitch, but you know these companies.”

“Brea, are you sure about this?”

She clicks her tongue. I know she’s mad, but is she being realistic? Two months is hardly enough time to get used to the idea of having a child, is it? I know she thinks I’m the selfish single, but a baby! A baby is big work, and eighteen or more years of it. I just don’t want her jumping into anything because of her miscarriage. She’s not in the right frame of mind.

“You sound just like John.”

Ah, so John is not so sure either
. “Brea, I think that adoption is one of the greatest things in the world. I just want you to be sure it’s right for you. You have a way of reacting when someone else is in trouble. Remember that God is big enough to handle this with-out you if that’s His will.”

“Ash, you couldn’t commit to a cable company for a long-term relationship and you’re going to tell me how to run my life?”

“Look, I didn’t call to fight. I’m just trying to tell you to go into this with opened eyes.”

Brea goes on, “I just feel like I committed to this young girl and now I’m not so sure. Because John isn’t so sure, but now that this girl is willing to give us her baby—”

“There are a million Christian couples who would love to adopt this baby, Brea. Does it have to be you?” I don’t like how I sound, but isn’t it better to present her with the truth? She’s lived such a charmed life and I’m worried this could bring her down. That she’s not as ready for this as she thinks.

“Why did God present her if it wasn’t meant to be me?”

“I don’t know. Let’s just keep praying about it. If this is meant to be your baby, Brea, nothing can stop it. Not us, not the insurance companies, nobody.”

She sniffles. “I really want this baby, Brea. I want John to want it too.”

I smile. “John would do anything to make you happy, Brea. He had to know what he was getting into when he married you. He’s lucky he doesn’t have twenty-seven foster children by now.”

She laughs. “That sounds like something he’d say. You’ll support me?”

“If this is what you want, I’ll support you to the grave.” And I will. But I’ll pray a lot in the meantime.

“What’s going on with you?” Brea asks.

“I’ve got a date tomorrow with Kevin Novak.”

“The doctor again?”

“Yes, we’re going to a nice dinner and all my clothes are in storage. But of course, I’d rather shop anyway.”

“What do you mean your clothes are in storage?”

“Oh, I never called you back last night. I have rats in the apartment building. I had to get out.”

“That’s right. I completely blanked that out when we got off the phone. Meant to call you back, but we were pretty deep in discussion here last night, and Seth called and said you were safe.”

“It’s a big decision.”

“Do you want to go shopping tonight?” She doesn’t sound excited at the prospect, which makes me less so.

“Nah, it’s okay. It sounds like you and John need some more time.”

“I’m sorry, Ashley. I know I haven’t been a good friend lately.”

“I’ll talk to you later.” I’m crying when I snap my cell phone shut. Friends are probably the hardest commodity to earn in Silicon Valley. People move, people work, people have busy lives that don’t include close friendships. But I could always count on Brea. Until she got married. Then I became just another island floating in the middle of the San Francisco Bay.

23

T
he three women sit against the floral wallpaper staring as if at
their first ballet. Openmouthed and gaping, their expressions show
their admiration and awe. Ashley Stockingdale twirls about on the
arm of Dr. Kevin Novak, her floor-length Donna Karan halter dress
clinging easily to her shapely figure. Her dark auburn hair, once again
grown out, is swept into the perfect up-do and framing her face, her
gentle alabaster skin contrasts with the bright red lipstick she wears.
Watching the attractive couple dance was like hearing that song from
The Lion King
. Can you feel the love tonight?

“It’s almost like she’s floating on air,” Kay says with a sigh.

“You can’t see her shoes in that gown, but I bet they’re Blahniks,”
Arin adds.

“Is there any question?” Brea asks with disdain.

“Brea, you’ve known Ashley for twenty years now. What makes her
so different?” Kay asks.

“Ashley always possessed something special. Something that made
you want to have just a tiny piece of her with you. Some might call it
charisma or charm, but I think it’s an aura. Ashley has a definite aura
about her.”

“Like a halo?” Arin asks, with her eyes wide.

“Sort of, yeah. Like a halo.” Brea nods.

“Ashley, that’s not a tiara. It’s a traditional Hindu amulet. Do you mind taking it off your head?”

I snap to attention, like a poor soldier awakened by a bugle. “I’m sorry, Purvi, I was just—” What was I just? Daydreaming with some false idol on my head. How do I explain this one? Sometimes I really must worry about the witness I am for Christianity. I think I’m more of a witness for neuroses.

“Ashley,” Purvi is practically wilting over the car door. “I haven’t slept all night.” She waits for me to get out.

“I’m so sorry, Purvi. I know you worked hard. I hope you get a good day’s rest. Your son is happily ensconced at school. I can pick him up if you need me to.”

“Thank you, but I’ll get him. I’m sorry about this morning, but my mother-in-law has a cataract and hasn’t been driving. And my neighbor’s out of town.”

“No trouble, Purvi.” Now I feel badly for whining. She worked the whole night rather than pull me into it. Normally, a boss would allow employees to work all night and go home to watch
Fear Factor
or the like. But not Purvi. She’s one in a million. I grab my empty cup from her car and bid her goodbye.

My first move of the day is going to be to locate my car. I feel naked without my car.
May I never have to drive a sedan again in
this lifetime.

I dial up Seth’s number, still miffed at how easily he handed me off to the “good doctor.” Apparently, I meant less than nothing to him and I punch the last number hard.

“Ashley, what are you doing? My caller ID says you’re at work. You taking a later flight?”

“I’m not going to Taiwan. This week anyway. Purvi is battling the Evil Empire and that’s taking precedence for now.”

“Sorry to hear that.” And he is. Everyone in Silicon Valley is sad to hear when the Evil Empire gets stronger. It hurts everyone, especially the consumer who gets a weaker product, but obviously I have strong opinions here.

“Is my car still at my apartment?” My voice is tentative, but it’s like asking
where’s my child?
I miss my little convertible, even if I never take the top off or act sporty in it. I long for its supple leather seats . . . and the chance to take off for places unknown in it, even if I never do.

Seth laughs. “You know, it’s funny you should ask. I thought about that at the last minute . . . that you’d want your car as soon as you stepped off the plane, so I jogged over and brought it back. It’s parked in my garage.”

Visions.
I’m envisioning my car parked snugly in his garage next to his own car. He took care of me, thought ahead about taking care of me, and I read so much into this action. Which only makes me that much more pathetic on the scale of things. Seth always thinks of others; I could be any one of his friends.

“Seth, what would I ever do without you? If I have the company car drive me over, will you be there?”

“Don’t bother. I’ll drive it down when I go to work—which should be in a few minutes. I can get a coworker to drive me home. Or take the bus.”

“You don’t want to do that. My brother could be driving that bus, and he’s upset today. He called me at six a.m. to tell me so.”

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

“I could drive you home myself,” I offer.

“Ashley.”

“Seth, really. You just don’t understand how much it means to me that you took care of my apartment and my car—and getting me to Kay’s house—I was just feeling so overwhelmed.” I’m getting misty-eyed now. The last thing I want is to be indebted to Seth any more than I am already.

“That’s fine, Ashley. Whatever you want to do. I’m looking forward to driving little Racy again.”

“Seth.” I cross my arms. “This is my baby we’re talking about.”

“A baby that does zero to sixty in five seconds flat.” I can hear him laughing under his breath.
Troublemaker.
“Racy and I will be there by ten. Oh, and I have all your paperwork for your apartment. Larry is going to clear it out tonight. Do you need anything out before?”

Of course I do. I need all my clothes, but my suitcase will do, and I’m shopping for my date, so . . . “No, I don’t need anything.”

“You just call him when you find a new place, and
voila!
He appears with your stuff.”

I’m trying to force down my fears that a guy named Larry will be emptying my apartment. “Great,” I say halfheartedly.

Before I start on my own desk, I mosey into Purvi’s office to see where I can help. There are briefs and documents strewn everywhere. I start by putting all the papers into the right legal folders and filing away. I could let Dianna, the secretary, do this, but I know where things go and it will be easier for Purvi when she comes back. I don’t dismiss that I’m not in Taiwan eating half-alive crustaceans. I owe this to Purvi and I want her to know how I appreciate it. I’d much rather be drinking double-iced mochas for breakfast instead.

Man-hungry Dianna avoids me like the plague. We are the polar opposites of women. It’s not that I think I’m above her; I just legitimately have nothing to say to her. Whenever I try to talk, we have no similar point of reference. Yes, we’re both women, but the similarities end there. Dianna sees me watching her and cuts off her conversation with the mail guy, Jim Bailey.

“Did you need something?” Dianna asks.

“Does Purvi have the paperwork from Taiwan? I want to check something.”

“I think so. Let me go look.” She topples out on her heels.

I’m drumming my desk with my fingers, unable to concentrate on all the work set before me. I have an idea and my mind won’t let it go until I’ve seen it to its full conclusion. I grab up some files and head to my own office.

Dianna comes behind me with the paperwork. “Do you want anything else? You look pretty intense.”

“Can you shut my door?” I look up at her. “And can you get me the Evil Empire case?”

Her eyes widen. “Sure.” She returns, drops the briefs on my desk, and rushes out to see Manny from the sales department. I don’t look up for another hour at least. Dianna is now talking to Jeff from marketing, but their conversation comes to an abrupt halt and Seth steps into the picture.

Dianna pulls away from her desk and drops the notepad she was holding. Slowly, she rises up to give Seth an eyeful. He looks away and I want to cheer. Looking toward the window, I hear him say he’s looking for Ashley.