What Dreams May Come (6 page)

I closed my eyes and tried again, re-visualizing that immense, still glade.

I felt my body pulsing once more. It was true. Some incredible pressure—gentle, yet insistent—was behind me, pushing, bearing. I felt my breath grow larger, larger, achingly large. I concentrated harder and the move accelerated. I was rushing forward, rushing upward. The sensation was alarming but exhilarating too. I didn’t want to lose it now. For the first time since the accident, I felt a glimmer of peace within myself. And the beginning of a knowledge; an astonishing insight.

There is more.

Summerland

Continuation at another level

I OPENED MY eyes and looked up. Overhead, I saw green foliage and, through it, blue sky. There was no sign of mist; the air was clear. I took a breath of it. It had a cool, invigorating smell. I felt a gentle breeze against my face.

Sitting up, I looked around. I’d been lying on a patch of grass. The trunk of the tree I sat beneath was close by. I reached out and felt its bark. And something more—a kind of energy flowing from it.

I reached down and touched the grass. It looked immaculately cared for. I pushed aside a clump of it and examined the soil. Its color was complementary to the shade of the grass. There were no weeds of any kind.

Pulling out a blade of grass, I held it against my cheek. I could feel a minuscule flow of energy from it as well. I sniffed its delicate fragrance, then put it in my mouth and chewed as I used to do when I was a boy. I never tasted grass like that when I was a boy.

I noticed, then, there were no shadows on the ground. I sat beneath a tree yet not in shade. I didn’t understand that and looked for the sun.

There wasn’t any, Robert. There was light without a sun. I looked around in confusion. As my eyes grew more accustomed to the light, I saw further into the countryside. I had never seen such scenery: a stunning vista of green-clad meadows, flowers and trees. Ann would love this, I thought.

I remembered then. Ann was still alive. And I? I stood and pressed both palms against the solid tree trunk. Stamped on solid ground with my shoe. I was dead; there could be no question about it any longer. Yet here I was, possessed of a body that felt the same and looked the same, was even dressed the same. Standing on this very real ground in this most tangible of landscapes.

This is death? I thought.

I looked at my hands; the details of their lines and ridges, all the varied folds of skin. I examined the palms. I studied a book on palmistry once; for fun, to be able to do it at parties. I’d studied my palms and knew them well.

They were still the same. The life line was as long as ever; I remembered showing it to Ann and telling her not to worry, I was going to be around a long time. We could laugh about that now if only we were together.

I turned my hands over and noticed that their skin and nails were pink. There was blood inside me. I had to shake myself to make certain I wasn’t dreaming. I held my right hand over my nose and mouth and felt breath pulsing warmly from my lungs. I pressed two fingers to my chest until I found the right spot.

Heartbeat, Robert. Just as always.

I looked around abruptly at a flash of movement. An exquisite, silver-plumaged bird had landed on the tree. It seemed completely unafraid of me, perching close by. This place is magic, I thought. I felt dazed. If this is a dream, I told myself, I hope I never wake from it.

I started as I saw an animal running toward me; a dog, I realized. For several moments, it didn’t register. Then, suddenly, it all rushed over me. “Katie!” I cried.

She ran toward me as fast as she could, making those frantic little whimpers of joy I hadn’t heard in years. “Katie, ” I whispered. I fell to my knees, tears starting in my eyes. “Old Kate.”

Abruptly, she was with me, bouncing with excitement, licking my hands. I put my arms around her. “Kate, old Kate.” I could barely speak. She wriggled against me, whimpering with happiness. “Katie, is it really you?” I murmured.

I took a closer look. The last time I had seen her was in an open cage at the vet’s; sedated, lying on her left side, eyes staring sightlessly, limbs twitching with convulsions they could not control. Ann and I had gone to see her when the doctor had called. We’d stood beside the cage a while, stroking her, feeling stunned and helpless. Katie had been our good companion almost sixteen years.

Now she was the Katie I remembered from the years when Ian was growing up—vibrant, full of energy, eyes bright, with that funny mouth that, open, made her look as though she were laughing. I hugged her with delight, thinking how happy Ann would be to see her, how happy the children would be, especially Ian. The afternoon she’d died, he’d been at school. That evening, I had found him sitting on his bed, cheeks wet with tears. They’d grown up together and he hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye to her.

“If only he could see you now,” I said, hugging her, overjoyed by our reunion. “Katie, Katie.” I stroked her head and body, scratched her wonderful floppy ears. And felt a rush of gratitude toward whatever power had brought her to

me.

Now I knew this was a lovely place.

It’s hard to say how long we stayed there, visiting. Katie lay beside me, warm head on my lap, occasionally stretching, sighing with contentment. I kept stroking her head, unable to get over the pleasure of seeing her. Wishing again and again that Ann were there. It was only after a long time that I noticed the house.

I wondered how I could have missed it; it was only a hundred yards away. The sort of house Ann and I had always planned to build some day: timber and stone with enormous windows and a huge deck overlooking the countryside.

I felt immediately drawn to it; I didn’t know why. Standing, I began to move toward it, Katie jumping up to walk beside me.

The house stood in a clearing ringed by beautiful trees— pines, maples and birches. There were no outside walls or fences. To my surprise, I noticed that there was no door at the entrance either and that what I’d taken for windows were only openings. I noticed, too, the lack of pipes and wires, fuse boxes, gutters and television aerials, the form of the house harmonious with its surroundings. Frank Lloyd Wright would have approved, the thought occurred. I smiled, amused. “He might actually have designed it, Katie,” I said. She looked at me and, for a fleeting moment, I got the impression that she understood me.

We walked into a garden near the house. In its center stood a fountain made of what appeared to be white stone. I approached it and dipped my hands into crystal water. It was cool and, like the tree trunk and grass blade, emitted a soothing flow of energy. I took a sip of it. I’d never tasted water so refreshing. “Want some, Kate?” I asked, looking at her. She made no move but I received another impression: that water was no longer needed by her. Turning back to the fountain, I raised some water in the cupped palms of my hands and washed it over my face. Incredibly, the drops ran off my hands and face as though I’d been waterproofed.

Amazed by each new facet of this place, I walked, with Katie, to a bank of flowers and leaned over to smell them. The subtlety of their odor was enchanting. Too, their colors were as varied as the colors in a rainbow though more iridescent. I cupped my palms around a golden flower edged with yellow and felt a tingling of that energy running up my arms. I put my hands around one flower after another. Each gave off a stream of delicate force. To my added amazement,

I began to realize that they were, also, generating soft, harmonious sounds.

“Chris!”

I turned quickly. A nimbus of light was entering the garden. I glanced at Katie as she started wagging her tail, then looked back at the light. My eyes adjusted and it began to fade. Approaching me was the man I’d seen—how many times? I couldn’t recall. I’d never noticed his clothes before; a white, short-sleeved shirt, white slacks and sandals. He walked up to me, smiling, arms outstretched. “I felt your nearness to my home and came immediately,” he said. “You made it, Chris.”

He embraced me warmly, then drew back, still smiling. I looked at him. “Are you … Albert?” I asked.

“That’s right.” He nodded.

It was our cousin, Robert; we always called him Buddy. He looked marvelous; as I recalled him appearing when I was fourteen. Amend that. He looked far more vigorous.

“You look so young,” I said. “No more than twenty-five.”

“The optimum age,” he replied. I didn’t understand that.

As he leaned over to stroke Katie’s head and say hello to her—I wondered how he knew her—I stared at something I haven’t mentioned about Mm. Surrounding his entire form was a shimmering blue radiation shot through with white, sparkling lights.

“Hello, Katie, glad to see him, are you?” he asked. He stroked her head again, then straightened up with a smile. “You’re wondering about my aura,” he said.

I started, smiling. “Yes.”

“Everybody has them,” he told me. “Even Katie.” He pointed at her. “Haven’t you noticed?”

I looked at Katie in surprise. I hadn’t noticed—though, now that Albert had mentioned it, it was obvious. Not as vivid as his but perfectly clear.

“They identify us,” Albert said.

I looked down at myself. “Where’s mine?” I asked.

“No one sees his own,” he said. “It would be inhibiting.”

I didn’t understand that either but had another question more demanding at the moment. “Why didn’t I recognize you after I died?” I asked.

“You were confused,” he answered. “Half awake, half sleeping; in a kind of twilight state.”

“It was you in the hospital who told me not to fight it, wasn’t it?”

He nodded. “You were fighting too hard to hear me though,” he said. “Struggling for life. You remember a vague form standing by your bed? You saw it even though your eyes were closed.”

“That was you?”

“I was trying to break through,” he told me. “Make your transition less painful.”

“I guess I didn’t help you much.”

“You couldn’t help yourself.” He patted my back. “It was too traumatic for you. A pity it wasn’t easier though. Usually, people are met immediately afterward.”

“Why wasn’t I?”

“There was no way of getting to you,” he said. “You were so intent on reaching your wife.”

“I felt I had to,” I told him. “She was so frightened.”

He nodded. “It was very loving of you but it trapped you in the borderland.”

“That was horrible.”

“I know it was.” He gripped my shoulder reassuringly. “It could have been far worse though. You might have lingered there for months or years—centuries even. It’s not uncommon. If you hadn’t called for help—“

“You mean, until I called for help, there was nothing you could do?”

“I tried but you kept rejecting me,” he said. “It was only when the vibration of your call came through that I could hope to convince you.”

It struck me then; I don’t know why it took so long. I looked around in awe. “Then … this is heaven?””

“Heaven. Homeland. Harvest. Summerland,” he said. “Take your choice.”

I felt foolish for asking but had to know. “Is it a—country? A state?”

He smiled. “A state of mind.”

I looked at the sky. “No angels,” I said, conscious of only half joking.

Albeit laughed. “Can you conceive of anything more cumbersome than wings attached to shoulder blades?” he asked.

“Then there are no such things?” Again, I felt naive for asking but was too curious to repress the question.

“There are if one believes in them,” he said, confusing me again. “As I said, this is a state of mind. What does that motto on the wall of your office say? That which you believe becomes your world.”

I was startled. “You know about that?” I asked.

He nodded.

“How?”

“I’ll explain it all in time,” he said. “For now I only want to make the point that what you think does become your world. You thought it only applied to earth but it applies here even more since death is a refocusing of consciousness from physical reality to mental—a tuning into higher fields of vibration.”

I had an idea what he meant but wasn’t sure. I guess it showed in my expression for he smiled and asked, “Was that obscure? Put it this way then. Does a man’s existence change in any way when he removes his overcoat? Neither does it change when death removes the overcoat of his body. He’s still the same person. No wiser. No happier. No better off. Exactly the same.

“Death is merely continuation at another level.”

Into Albert’s home

THE IDEA ONLY struck me then. I can’t conceive why it took so long except, perhaps, that there had been so many new amazing things to adjust to that my mind simply hadn’t found time for it until that moment.

“My father.” I said, “Your parents. Our uncles and aunts. Are they all here?”

” ‘Here’ is a big place, Chris,” he answered with a smile. “If you mean did they all survive, of course.”

“Where are they?”

“I’d have to check,” he told me. “The only ones I know about for sure are my mother and Uncle Sven.”

I felt a glow of pleasure at the mention of Uncle’s name. The image of him sprang to mind: his bald, shiny head, his bright eyes twinkling behind horn rim glasses, his cheery expression and voice, his unfailing sense of humor. “Where is he?” I asked. “What does he do?”

“He works with music,” Albert said.

“Of course.” I had to smile again. “He always loved music. Can I see him?”

“Certainly.” Albert returned my smile. “I’ll arrange it as soon as you’ve become more acclimated.”

“And your mother too,” I said. “I never knew her very well but I’d certainly like to see her again.”

“I’ll arrange it,” Albert said.

“What did you mean about having to check?” I asked. “Don’t families stay together?”

“Not necessarily,” he told me. “Earth ties have less meaning here. Relationships of thought, not blood, are what count.”

That sense of awe again. “I have to tell Ann about this,” I said. “Let her know where I am—that everything’s all right. I want that more than anything.”

“There’s really no way, Chris,” Albert said. “You can’t get through.”

“But I almost did.” I told him how I’d gotten Marie to write my message.