What He Bargains (What He Wants, Book Nineteen) (56 page)

“Give yourself a chance,” she said.

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Give me a chance, then.”

He nodded, as the tears ran faster down his cheeks. “Okay,” he said.

“Give us a chance,” she continued.

“Okay,” he agreed again. And then he embraced her, and his strong arms were holding her tightly and she held him too.

“I wish we could be like this forever,” she said, almost too herself.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes and now he was smiling, and some of the pain was gone from his face. “I love you,” he said. “I loved you from the first moment I saw you but I was too afraid to admit it. But I’m not going to miss my chance,” he said. “I’m not going to live in fear anymore.”

“I love you too,” she said, and her heart felt like it might explode from the happiness she felt.

L
ater that night
, they ate a dinner that Jake prepared for them. He made up a bowl of tuna from cans, and then he cooked them each a can of chicken noodle soup, followed by a chocolate bar that they split in half and ate, laughing and smiling like two kids around a campfire.

It was so strange, Raven thought, how in the worst of circumstances, they’d somehow found the very best in each other.

They were far from home, and neither of them knew what lay in store. They both had dangerous enemies, and they were cut off from the world, cut off from everything. Jake’s multi-million dollar tour was in peril, his business and career hung in the balance, and Raven’s family had even been attacked.

But somehow, despite all of it, she felt safe with Jake.

Safe and taken care of, and finally…complete.

As she finished her last piece of chocolate and they lay in front of the wood stove, Jake rubbing her shoulders gently, she smiled. “This is the happiest I’ve ever been,” she told him.

He didn’t respond at first, and Raven turned and looked over her shoulder at him.

“Hey,” he smiled, but his smile was a little bit sad.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

He grinned and wiped the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “You’ve got chocolate on your lips,” he said.

“You look sad,” she said.

“I need to tell you something.”

Her heart started beating faster. “Please just say it. You’re scaring me.”

“Tomorrow morning, I’m going to walk to where I can get phone service and make some calls,” he said.

“Okay,” she replied, her brow wrinkling and confusion. “And?”

“And things are going to change,” he said. “We can’t just stay here, hiding out, waiting for the axe to fall. Club Alpha and whomever they’re working for—they won’t just sit on their hands. They’re going to keep trying to hurt us. I need to stop them.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that very soon it’s going to get scary again,” he said. “I’m getting some of my old military buddies together to deal with the situation. We’ll meet here and form a plan, and then we’ll carry it out.”

“Is that safe? Is that even legal?”

Jake smiled a little. “What we’re dealing with is kind of beyond legal and illegal. These people are a threat to national security, and they’re a threat to the person I love,” he said, stroking her hair now. “I’m going to take care of it.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” she said. “I’m afraid you’re going to go away and never come back.”

“I’ll come back,” he said, his jaw jutting out determinedly.

“Promise me,” she said, shaking. The fire popped loudly and she startled.

Jake pulled her close to him and kissed her on the lips, and then his kiss became passionate. “I promise you,” he said.

He kissed her again and again, pulling up her shirt, and then his lips were burning her skin, on her neck, on her breasts, on her stomach.

He kissed her lower still and she moaned, letting go of the fear the way a child lets go of a favorite blanket, with difficulty. But his kisses forced her to let go and she was grateful for that.

She opened her legs as Jake pulled down her panties, took them off, and the fire threw its light and warmth and she allowed herself just to luxuriate in finally having Jake Novak—all of him—completely to herself.

He took his time, teasing her, knowing how badly she wanted to feel his mouth between her legs, and so he didn’t give her what she wanted right away.

Instead, he licked at the place where her thigh met her hips, her inner thigh, down into the valley, licking and kissing, his tongue like magic. He worked his way so close to her wet slit, and she moaned and shook, but then he stopped, and went to her other leg.

“Jake,” Raven gasped. Her hands clutched the blanket that they’d brought near the wood stove, grabbing a bunch of it tightly in each fist.

Jake kissed down her inner thigh again, only now his hands also swept across her legs, and then hoisted them atop his shoulders.

He slid his mouth close to her center place. Slowly, he began to kiss around her delicate folds, sparking sensations that made her jump a little with pleasure that was almost intense enough to provoke discomfort.

It made her want to cry, being touched so deeply somehow. It was as if he’d built her, put her together with his own two hands and thus knew every crevice of her. He understood intuitively which buttons to press, and when, and she was helpless to his attention.

When Jake finally began to slide his tongue inside her, Raven gasped for breath and then cried out, a wailing, almost plaintive cry. “Oh my God,” she said, aloud but not intentionally. It was just unbelievable how he could conjure up these feelings within her, and she grabbed the blanket that much tighter in her fists. “I’m going to come, Jake.”

He slid his tongue inside that much further, by way of a response. And then he slid it out and onto her swollen clit, and she came so hard that the noises escaping her throat were like something not even human.

Her eyes rolled back in their sockets as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through her entire body, and Jake stroked her clit with his tongue.

Her hips bucked and swerved and shuddered, and Jake grabbed her thighs with his strong hands as he persisted, his tongue fucking her pussy, fucking her pussy so well that she came yet again.

She was spent, panting, sweating.

Jake finally sat back, the glow of the fire etching him against the darkness of the cabin as he watched her.

“That was something,” Raven said, still trying to catch her breath.

“Yeah, it was,” Jake replied, and his hand cupped her leg and softly caressed her skin. “You’re so damn hot,” he murmured.

Raven shook her head, still lying down, basking in the feeling he’d given her. “Sometimes I don’t know what to do about you,” she told him. “How can I ever hope to make sense of this?”

“Why make sense of it?” Jake asked.

“Because you’re all over the place and I need to know why. Right now, everything’s amazing and you’ve taken such good care of me. But somehow I still feel like it could all be taken away at any moment.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Jake told her, his hand continuing to caress her leg in ever widening circles.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Things have changed,” he said, simply.

“What’s changed?”

“Everything.”

She looked at him, and despite the darkness, her eyes had adjusted, and she could see that he was telling the truth. Something between them had shifted and now they were connected, deeply connected, and Raven believed him about that part of it.

“Still,” she said, shifting so that she was up on her elbow.

“Still you’re worried,” he laughed.

“Yes.” She wasn’t laughing. “I’m afraid about tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow I need to put things in motion. It’s not a choice. Club Alpha made the choice and now I’m going to finish things with them for good.”

“Are you going to kill people?”

“If necessary.” His eyes didn’t waver as she watched him.

“Jake, you can’t just kill people.”

“Actually, I can.”

She sat up now. “There has to be another way. Maybe we can cut a deal, call a truce, something.”

Jake smiled. “You’re cute when you’re nervous.” His smile faded. “But no, there’s not going to be a truce. When I slapped Scott around in the restaurant that day, it was the best warning I could give them. I told them very clearly not to do anything else, and they didn’t give a shit. They took it to the next level and now they’re going to regret it.”

Raven shook her head. “There has to be a better way.”

“Let me worry about that.”

He climbed down next to her and she was happy to feel his body resuming its place next to her. More than ever, she felt the physical need for him. Perhaps, Raven thought, it had to do with being vulnerable in the woods, living a more primitive life. She sensed quite practically how much she needed Jake’s presence to keep her safe from harm.

Raven clung to his body as he pulled the covers over them once more and held her tightly in his muscular arms. He whispered softly in her ear, caressing her hair. His whispers were soothing, and she felt herself relaxing despite it all, letting go once more, and her eyes closed.

She drifted, smiling as his whispers followed her into the darkness of sleep.

R
aven startled awake
, frightened.

It was still dark and the fire had died. She sat up, hugging the blanket tightly to her, and looking around, knowing he was gone.

She couldn’t believe it. He’d left without a word.

Her heart was pounding and she felt like everything around her was threatening, dangerous. The woods outside were alive and she was alone with nothing and no one to protect her.

And then she heard footsteps and she jumped, yelling in terror.

“Hey, relax, it’s just me,” Jake said, and she could make out the shadow of him as he walked closer. He was wearing clothes, boots, and as her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she could tell he was ready to leave.

He suddenly held aloft a gun and checked it methodically before placing it in the small of his back, stuffed into his waistband. He pulled his shirt over it and shrugged his shoulders.

“Were you even going to wake me up before you left?” she said, shivering with dismay and with cold.

“Of course,” Jake said, kneeling down beside her. “I didn’t want to wake you until I had to, though. You were so peaceful.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“It will only be a little while,” Jake said. “I think I can get some reception within two or three miles of here, and then once I make my calls, I’ll head right back to the cabin. All told it shouldn’t take me more than two to three hours at most.”

“What if you can’t get service?”

“I’ll get it.”

“What if you have to go further away—what if it’s five or six miles instead of two of three?”

“Then that’s what I’ll do. And then I’ll run on home.”

“What if it’s ten miles away?”

“Enough,” Jake said, and his tone was final. He reached out and touched her hair and she jerked away from him.

“I don’t like this.”

“It’ll be light out soon,” he said, trying to soothe her.

“I don’t care. I’m not afraid of the dark,” she added.

“You’re sexy when you pout.”

“It’s not funny, Jake. I don’t want you to go and I don’t agree with you planning to attack and kill people.”

He kissed her cheek before she could move away from him, and then he stood up. “We can’t argue this again, Raven. I’m going to do what I need to do to protect you, to protect your family. Protect us.”

“I know,” she said, mostly to herself.

“You can come with me,” he said. “I’ll wait for you to get dressed.”

“I’ll only slow you down,” Raven said. A big part of her did want to go with him, but she knew it was silly. “I can handle a couple hours by myself,” she said, sighing.

“I love you, Raven,” he said softly, but with clear conviction.

“I love you too.”

“I’ll be back in time for breakfast,” he said, walking to the door.

“We don’t have anything good to eat.”

“Oh, maybe I didn’t make myself clear. You’re going to be the main dish,” he said, chuckling.

“That’s gross.”

“Are you smiling?”

Raven realized she was and forced herself to stop. “Please be careful.”

“Always,” Jake said, and then he was out the door and she was alone in darkness once more.

She couldn’t fall back asleep after Jake was gone. Instead, she got up and opened the stove and began stoking the dying embers of the fire with the poker. There were only a few little red embers left, but as she pushed them around they began to glow brighter. She added some pieces of paper and then wood. Soon, the fire was burning bright again and Raven felt proud of herself for showing a little bit of self-reliance.

The fire cast the room in light, but also seemed to enhance the quality of shadow and darkness around her.

She pictured herself as a tiny little creature, huddled beside the smallest circle of light, penned in by miles upon miles upon miles of pure darkness.

It was a frightening thought and she tried to banish it from her mind.

Instead, she thought of Jake, trudging alone outside through the wilderness, with nothing but the clothes on his back and a gun to protect him from whatever lay in wait.

Of course, Raven knew that nothing lay in wait.

His biggest risk was tripping and falling, hurting his ankle or a leg. The other problem would be if he somehow got a bad cut out there, miles from the cabin. This wasn’t like getting hurt in the city or even a small town, where you could dial 911 on your cell phone or some nice passerby would do it for you.

No, out here there were no allowances for mistakes.

A bad fall could be fatal.

“Stop thinking like that,” she admonished herself aloud. That was even worse, in some ways. Her voice sounded small and lonely and afraid to her own ears.

Raven tried to shake off the sensations of fear that now pervaded the room and seemed to seep into her very bones. She got up and went to the stash of guns and ammo and picked out a handgun, then thought better of it and put it back again.