What Just Happened? (28 page)

B
EN
: You want to talk about art. Art! Let's go. LET'S GO.

Ben starts flailing his arms like an agitated Mideastern vendor. Cal is frozen
.

B
EN
: Let's talk about INTEGRITY. Hey, hey, I'm willing to stack my last three pictures against your last three pictures. Huh! Let's talk about that!

A
CTOR
: You've gone too far. You don't
have
any pictures, you're a producer.

Ben can't stop himself
.

B
EN
: Why don't we start by GIVING YOUR OVERBLOWN SALARY TO THE FUCKING RED CROSS. That would show me some integrity. Let's be honest!

The Actor is about to grab Ben by his shirt. He gets nose to nose with Ben. Ben tries to hold his ground but can't help but take a couple of steps back. He's cornered against the wall
.

For whatever reason, perhaps his innate fear of criminal prosecution or perhaps just not wanting to hurt someone, the Actor changes his mind
.

A
CTOR
: (
whispering
) Motherfucker.

He slowly walks out of the room, creating a path of destruction as he makes his way to his trailer
.

A
CTOR
: … Can't have a beard in the movie … Can't wear clothes anymore … Steve! Throw out the clothes!! Don't need craft service anymore … (
he turns the table over, people scatter
) … Sit anywhere fellas. (
he throws a director's chair across the stage
) Here's your chair! … Somebody fix this door! You happy now you got my blood pressure up?!

Ben and Cal peer at each other for an extended moment, both trying to conjure up some twisted grin in an attempt to hold onto their dignity
.

B
EN
: Well, I, for one, don't think he expects to shave.

C
AL
: I felt that.

B
EN
: The police should have put me on producer's suspension. I blame myself. I shouldn't have let it get so personal. I'll call Sid and see what the money is willing to live with.

C
AL
: We'll make it right.

B
EN
: Yeah. We've got four days to sort this out. I didn't realize he felt that strongly about it.

Suddenly a loud explosion emanates from the Actor's trailer. It sounds as if an espresso machine might have been hurled against a full length mirror. The trailer shakes and then goes dead still
.

A
CTOR
: Now that video's done we're not gonna need this anymore! (
he throws some equipment out of his trailer
) Blow me fellas! BLOW ME!

Cal is hyperventilating
.

B
EN
: Take it easy. You're okay. You're doing a good job. We'll get there.

INT. VAST ABANDONED FACTORY RECONVERTED TO A SOUNDSTAGE

They walk toward Ben's car
.

C
AL
: Did you know I heard that just before Jack decided to ‘off' himself, he spent his entire bonus, all of it, his last dime, actually, on an Ed Reed painting.

B
EN
: Classy, classy guy. He loved the arts.

C
AL
: It was a giant brown oil painting and it had one big word across it.

B
EN
: Yeah, what?

C
AL
: That was the word. ‘WHAT.'

Ben eyes Cal. He's trying hard to make sense of his day
.

B
EN
: I'll call Sid from the car.

Cut to:

INT. BEN'S BMW—EARLY EVENING

SUPER
: 6:30
PM

Ben is driving in slow traffic on the 405 coming over the pass into Brentwood
.

B
EN
: Ha. Ha. Good one, Sid. Listen, I need the studio to give me some flexibility on this one.

S
ID
(
V.O
.): Okay, what do you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?

B
EN
: I give, Sidney.

S
ID
(
V.O
.): BOB! Get it. Bob!

Sid howls
.

B
EN
: I get it. I do, Sidney. Listen, out of all the studio heads you are by far the funniest. But you have to stay with me. This is Bruce Willis we're talking about. He might have a point. Maybe we need to bend … we could … you know … think creatively. In fact, he could have a point. Maybe we need to rethink that. The beard might be the right way to go.

S
ID
(
V.O
.): Let's keep it simple, Ben. I'm not Lou. I like to be direct.

B
EN
: Tell me what I have to do.

S
ID
(
V.O
.): If that bastard doesn't shave and look like a leading man … A. We shut the movie down. B. We sue him for all damages. C. We then sue you for misrepresentation.

B
EN
: Awww Sidney. C'mon. Let's have lunch and discuss this like men.

S
ID
(
V.O
.): Call my office.

Click
.

B
EN
: Okay, Sidney. Sidney? Hello?

Cut to:

INT. BEN'S BEDROOM—EVENING

SUPER
: 6:40
PM

Ben is getting re-dressed to go out to dinner. He's on the speaker phone with Dick Bell, the star's agent, who was at the preview screening earlier
.

B
EN
: Are you saying Bruce never mentioned this to you? You're his agent, his confidant for God's sake. We're on the ledge on this one. He's got four days to clean himself up. And I'll personally pay for the trainer.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: You've got to be kidding.

B
EN
: No, Dick, I'm not kidding.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: This can't be happening now.

B
EN
: It's happening.

INT. DICK'S MALIBU HOUSE—INTERCUT WITH BEN'S BEDROOM

INTERCUT THIS CONVERSATION with Dick who is standing in his master bedroom on the second floor of his Malibu beach house, watching the ocean. He's pacing back and forth holding a wireless phone
.

D
ICK
: This late in the game, you tell me it's HAPPENING!!? It can't be.

We cut back to Ben's apartment. He's changing his pants
.

B
EN
: 'Fraid so.

Ben hears, through his speaker, Dick explode with a weird vomiting sound. A death rattle. A dry heave
.

D
ICK'S VOICE
.: AAARRRGGGHHH! AAAAARRRGHHH!

Ben runs to the speaker phone as if trying to come to Dick's aid
.

B
EN
: What was that …?

Back to Dick, his face is a bit more ashen
.

D
ICK
: It's nothing.

B
EN'S VOICE
:
That's
nothing!

D
ICK
: Finish your point. How much does he know?

B
EN'S VOICE
: It's a bit sketchy. We all got lathered up. Things might have been taken out of context.

D
ICK
: Tell me exactly what was said.

Back to Ben's apartment
.

B
EN
: You know how it goes. ‘Fuck you. No, no. FUCK YOU!' And then it got worse. Why not call me back after you talk to him?

D
ICK'S VOICE
.: To tell him he's going to get fired and sued for all the money in his piggy bank? I don't want to.
You
give him the bad news?

B
EN
: Dick, you're an agent. Delivering bad news is part of the job description.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: I can't do it. The messenger gets killed. You know that. I can't. Just shoot me.

Back to Dick's master bedroom
.

D
ICK
: I've been working with him for two years. He's one of my most important clients but he's very mercurial. He can snap at any time.

B
EN'S VOICE
: You're scared of him.

D
ICK
: I'm not scared of
him
… I'm scared of
all
of them … could you hold a second?

D
ICK
: AAAARRRRGGGHHH …

B
EN'S VOICE
: You okay?

D
ICK
: Yes. It's a stomach disorder. It comes and it … GUGHH … (
a little dry rattle as he gazes at his gorgeous view of the ocean
) … and it goes.

Back to Ben pacing near the speaker phone
.

B
EN
: You … Maybe we should do this later. Yes. Let's do this later.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: No. Seriously. I'm fine.

B
EN
: Sure?

D
ICK'S VOICE
: Absolutely. They cut me back on my antidepressants so I can get it up, but … the withdrawal
makes my stomach clench. Sounds worse than it is. I even had to cut back Klonopin.

B
EN
: When do you take that?

D
ICK'S VOICE
: Travel. Whenever I pack.

B
EN
: When you pack?

D
ICK'S VOICE
: Too many choices … arruugh. G'head, I'm okay.

B
EN
: Dick, your client has to give us some relief … let's figure out how
we
can solve this beard thing?

Back to Dick's place. He seems to have composed himself
.

D
ICK
:
We
! WE! For a start, whyn't
we
let him wear his fucking beard. Excuse me, but what's the big deal?

B
EN'S VOICE
: We're way past that now.

D
ICK
: Yesterday everything was fine. How did we get WAY PAST THAT in one day?

Back to Ben
.

B
EN
: Money.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: Have you told him about the shutting down of the movie?

B
EN
: No.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: What about the lawsuit? Did you mention the word
lawsuit
.

B
EN
: I tried but the timing was bad. I couldn't.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: D'you know the ramifications of what you're asking of me?

B
EN
: I do.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: AARRRRGGGHHH!

Ben leans in inches from his speaker phone
.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: AARRRGGGHHH!

B
EN
: Jeezus, man, get hold of yourself.

A beat. All one can hear is Dick's heavy breathing through Ben's speaker
.

B
EN
: Dick?

D
ICK'S VOICE
: (
almost inaudible
) I'll get back to you.

B
EN
: You should talk to somebody about that stomach thing.

D
ICK'S VOICE
: Thank you, Ben.

Ben shuts off the phone and puts on his sport coat. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out the
multicolored argyle sock.
He carefully folds it to preserve the evidence and puts it in his pocket. He calls Kelly. She does not answer. This time he leaves a message
.

B
EN
: Kelly. Call me.

Ben gathers his things from the kitchen counter. He can't stop himself. He calls Kelly again. Again, no answer. He exits
.

Cut to:

INT. BEN'S CAR—NIGHT

On his way to dinner, Ben calls Kelly
.

K
ELLY'S ANSWERING MACHINE
: Hi. We're not here. Please leave a message for Kelly, Sophie, or Max after the beep.

B
EN
: Hello? Kelly? I need to talk to you. I'm having dinner with some money people tonight but you know you're more important to me. So please call me as soon as you get this. I'm on my cell.

He hangs up
.

INT. GIORGIO'S RESTAURANT—NIGHT

SUPER
: 9:00
PM

Ben is seated with Johnny the Mideastern slick moneyguy from the office. Seated next to Johnny is a tall Middle Eastern man in his fifties, Aba Peterson. He is festooned in multilogo'd athletic wear. He could be Israeli, Tunisian. An American flag is proudly stuck to his Adidas sweatshirt
.

Next to the men are three young women wrapped in tight clothes. They talk among themselves
.

J
OHNNY
: No, no, no … The money is guaranteed. When Aba says, ‘yes,' it's like a mother offering her child her teat. It can be trusted. He loves movies. He loves movie people. He loves you.

Aba smiles at Ben, Ben smiles back
.

A
BA
: I love your work.

B
EN
: My work?

J
OHNNY
:
Rio
, Ben, he wants to make
Rio
.

B
EN
:
Rio
? Great, there's no script yet, but …

A
BA
: Johnny told me what it is and I love it. I trust you'll get a good script. The money is already in a box.

J
OHNNY
: The money's there.

B
EN
: Well, okay then.

A
BA
: Last night, very late, Johnny took me to the Sunset Room.

B
EN
: Johnny, you were moonlighting.

J
OHNNY
: (
not completely understanding
) Yes. Thank you.

A
BA
: We were drinking with Sly.

J
OHNNY
: It was a real good night.