What Kills Me (10 page)

“Your sire. The one who made you,” he
said.

“I don’t know. I don’t have one,” I
said.

“What about your guardian?”

My parents?
I shook my head.

“My God, your sire abandoned you
without a guardian.” Noel frowned. “It’s his holy duty to care for
you or at least to entrust a guardian to do so. What kind of
vampire would do that?”

I said nothing. I felt dishonest. But
how could I explain?

“Have you fed?”

I made a face and shook my head
again.

“This is why you’re so weak,” he said.
“Here, you need to drink this immediately.” He picked up the teacup
by its rim and held it out in front of me. Reluctantly I slipped my
index finger into its delicate handle.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I
said.

“Yes, you can,” Noel said. “Just drink
it fast.”

“Oh God,” I said.

“Do it.”

I put the teacup to my lips and tipped
it back. The cold, iron-y liquid spilled into my mouth. I gulped it
down and then gagged. But the blood coated my insides like dripping
oil, radiating heat on the way down. And it was invigorating. The
second mouthful was easier. It tasted nasty, but it felt so good
and my body tingled. I felt hot inside but cool on the surface.
There was only one thing I could compare the feeling to: growing
up, when I had a cold, my mother would slather my chest with minty
vapor rub; it was like having that balm everywhere.

“You want more?” Noel asked. He was
holding a clear glass jug half-filled with blood.

I shook one last ruby droplet onto my
tongue and then stared into the empty cup in amazement.

“Yes, please.”

After my second cup, Noel took me
across the field to a brick garage topped with a gray chimney. He
lit a lantern inside the door, illuminating the space.

“Welcome to my workshop,” he
said.

Metal tools and instruments hung on
the walls. Soot and ash blanketed every surface. Anvils, hammers,
and water troughs were positioned around an open furnace. Noel
walked around a pile of metal bits in the middle of the workshop
and grabbed a handheld saw from a shelf.

“What do you do here?” I
asked.

“I’m a swordsmith. I make
weapons.”

He placed two stools in front of me
and patted one of them. I sat down and rested my arms on the
other.

“Noel,” I said, “I really like my
hands, okay?”

His smile lengthened the crow’s feet
at the edges of his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ve never used this thing
before but how hard can it be? Just don’t move.”

The saw squealed and I turned away
from the orange sparks. The manacle opened with a
clatter.

“Zee, I hope you didn’t need your
right hand,” Noel said.

“It’s okay. As long as I have the
left.”

He broke open the left cuff a few
seconds later. I rubbed my wrists. “Thank you.”

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes, much. Earlier, I felt like the
walking dead,” I said. “I mean, well, you know.”

He laughed. “You just needed some
sustenance. See? The blood wasn’t so bad.”

“Well, I’d still rather have a root
beer but at least I’m not starving.”

“You’ll be starving again
soon.”

“Will it always be like
this?”

“The hunger is always there. But it
abates with time. You’re young. Your body just needs the blood to
grow strong.”

He returned the saw to its place on
the packed shelf and a cloud of dust wafted up.

“Is it just the three of you here?” I
asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve intruded. Lucas
seemed upset.”

“Don’t worry about him. He’s wary of
strangers.”

“I guess it doesn’t get stranger than
a barefoot schoolgirl in chains.”

He laughed.

“Jerome only joined us a few decades
ago. We needed help with some extra work. His presence has really
brightened Lucas’s spirits,” he said, pulling the stool under him
so he could sit with me. “He was probably pretty sick of his old
man’s company.”

“Have you been vampires for
long?”

“More than six hundred years,” he
said.

“Wow,” I said. “I can’t even imagine
what that would be like.”

“One day, you’ll know,” he
said.

Will I?

“Have you always lived here?” I
said.

“We’ve lived all over the world.
America. Asia.”

I wondered if I would ever get to
travel to those places. If I would ever go home.

“Noel?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you,” I said. “You’ve been very
kind.”

“You seem like a good girl, Zee,” he
said. “I had daughters who were about your age.”

Had.

He rubbed his chin with the back of
his fingers and leaned forward to pick up one of the broken cuffs.
He shook his head. “Who put you in these?”

I opened my mouth and then closed it.
What could I say? I was afraid that he wouldn’t understand. That he
would turn me over to the Monarchy if he knew. Instead, I dropped
my head and swallowed a rush of emotion.

“I…I can’t,” I faltered. “I’m afraid
that…”

“Don’t worry,” he said. He put a hand
on my trembling shoulder. “You’re safe here.”

Someone approached in the grass. The
footsteps stopped in front of the door.

“Come in, Jerome,” Noel
said.

The door squeaked open and Jerome came
in. He had put on a white T-shirt. He carried some clothes over his
left arm and held a pair of white runners in his right
hand.

“I hope they fit,” he said, presenting
me with the items.

“Thanks.”

“Jerome, accompany Zee back to the
house so she can take a shower and get cleaned up.”

“Yes sir.”

As we walked through the field, I said
to Jerome, “Noel is so nice.”

“He’s a good man,” Jerome said,
nodding. “He used to have a big family, two sons and three
daughters.”

“Used to?”

He shrugged. “When he was
human.”

We kept walking. “Now it’s just Noel
and Lucas,” he said.

“And you,” I said.

“And now you,” he said.

“Oh, I’m just passing
through.”

“Sure you are,” he said with a
grin.

***

I knew that he knew that I was
watching him, but he ignored me. And I just stood there, dressed in
a black T-shirt, navy track shorts and over-sized runners, amazed
by what he was doing. Lucas was fighting imaginary opponents in the
woods. He leaped up and kicked his legs apart, doing the splits in
mid air. His feet snapped two trees flanking him. They tumbled,
crackling and whispering, against other trees.

“That’s incredible,” I
said.

He continued to beat the
air.

“Where did you learn martial
arts?”

When he didn’t respond, I said: “I
just wanted to thank you and say that I’m sorry if I offended you
earlier. I really appreciate everyone’s help.”

I turned on my heels and started to
leave.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said.
“I didn’t help you. My father did.”

“I’m grateful.”

“What else do you want?”

“I don’t understand what you
mean.”

“You say that you don’t know who your
sire is, that you have no guardian,” he said, walking toward me.
“That’s bull. Who are you? What are you doing here?”

“I’m overstaying my welcome,
clearly.”

“You may have fooled my father but I
know that you’re hiding something.”

He stood a foot from my face and
glared down his nose. His eyes were yellow-green, like those of a
cat. He had an angular jawline and full, almost pouty lips. He
might have been good looking if he hadn’t been so
menacing.

“I don’t want to cause your family any
trouble,” I said. “They’ve been very kind. And, anyway, I’m
leaving. I have to get back to my own family.”

“Good,” he said. He swept by me,
nudging my shoulder so that I stumbled back. “The sooner, the
better.”

I waited in the darkness until I heard
him open the door before I turned around and followed. He slammed
the door shut behind him, causing the windowpane to shudder in its
frame. Through the walls I heard Noel say, “Why do you have to be
like that?” Boots clomped across the kitchen. There was no
reply.

Jerome opened the door as I mounted
the stone step.

“I’m sorry that my son is being an
ass,” Noel said. Lucas, who was standing in the middle of the
living room with his hands balled into fists at his sides, cast an
angry stare at his father.

“I appreciate your help, removing the
chains, giving me clothes and, uh, feeding me,” I said. “But I
should really get going. Thank you, again.”

“What?” said Noel. “You can’t leave so
soon.”

“You’ve been so nice to me but I have
to go.”

“Please stay, I insist.”

“Really,” I said, “it’s
okay.”

Lucas glared. “Father, she wants to
go.”

“Absolutely not,” Noel said, his tone
changing.

“Why?” Lucas and I said at the same
time.

“The sun’s coming up in a few hours.
You can’t be wandering around, trying to find shelter at
dawn.”

Lucas’s shoulders sagged. He shook his
head and his eyes searched the room as if he was trying to find a
solution in the dust. Our eyes met. In my mind I imagined him to be
hissing.

I’m not worried about the
sun. I’m worried about your son drop-kicking me in the
face.

“Zee, you’ll have to stay another
day,” Noel said. “Please. We’ll help you get on your way tomorrow
night if that’s what you want.”

“Will you stay?” Jerome
asked.

It did seem safer to stay a day with
Noel rather than wander around in the woods. “Okay. I can leave
tomorrow.”

Noel smiled. “Now let’s all have a
drink and turn in for the day.”

This gives new meaning to
“playing dead,”
I thought as I lay on my
side, watching the vampires sleep. They didn’t move. They didn’t
breathe. After fifteen minutes of silence, I called Noel’s name and
no one answered. It was as if they were in a coma. Or
dead.

We were underneath the house. Noel had
pulled up a trapdoor in the kitchen, revealing a set of creaky
wooden stairs and an expansive basement. It was a maze of wood
beams, crates, drawers, and chests. Along the walls were
floor-to-ceiling cabinets. Jerome spread a cream towel over a
wooden chest and rolled another towel into a pillow for me. “So, we
sleep on top of coffins?” I joked. Noel chuckled but Lucas snapped:
“If you want a luxury hotel, then go find one.”

We each had a tall glass of blood
before retiring. I felt as if I’d just downed a shot of espresso. I
turned onto my back, blinking against the blackness, inhaling the
musty air and pressing my spine into the towel and the wood
planks.

I wonder what’s in these
crates? I hope it’s not bodies. They can’t be bad guys; I couldn’t
bear it. I really like these people. Well, not Lucas. He’s a
jerk.

I should have told them. I should have
told them about the well, the Monarchy, the attempted execution,
the sunlight. But I was afraid they would react poorly and return
me to the castle. I knew Lucas would, in a heartbeat. I just hated
feeling like I was lying to them. Especially since Noel had been so
kind to me.

I remembered Noel scolding Lucas while
he served us our drinks. I remembered him teasing Jerome about how
he slurped. It felt like I was at home, like I was part of a
family. I missed my own family so much.

Outside, above ground, wind
rippled through the trees. I rolled off the chest.
I can’t lie here all day. I need to walk
around.
I maneuvered around the boxes,
which I saw in silhouette, and climbed the stairs. I paused to see
if the groaning stairs had disturbed anyone. No one stirred. I
pushed up on the trapdoor and went out.

With all of the shutters
closed and curtains over the windows, the house was dim. But in the
day, the sofa’s cream upholstery appeared tie-dyed in yellow and
brown. Dirt obscured the titles of the books on the table. Flecks
of dried blood dotted the counter, the floor, the face of the
fridge. Boot prints created a mosaic across the floor.
They need to invest in a cleaning
lady.

A flock of birds flew
overhead. The flapping of their wings sounded like applause. I
opened the back door a crack and waved my hand through the beam of
light.
Still okay.
I stepped outside and turned my face up to greet the
sunlight. Through my closed eyes it looked like the world was
ablaze. I bathed in the sun’s warmth. I felt alive.