What Lies Between (47 page)

“Hey, sweet boy, I feel the same way when I see you.” I buried my face into the fur of his neck, swallowing down the thought of how close I had come to losing him. Wet, sandy paw prints covered my clothes and the picnic blanket, but I didn’t mind. Jazz could get away with pretty much anything he wanted these days as far as I was concerned. “But what are you doing here? Who brought you all this way?”

He sniffed the bandage on my arm and let out a soft whine.

Running a hand over my dressing, I said, “We’ve both got our war wounds.” I rubbed his favorite spot behind his ears, held his whiskered face, traced the little brown patches over his eyes, kissed him on the nose. “You’re my hero, you know.”

He returned my kiss with a scratchy lick on my face.

“Aye, he is a hero. Mine too.” Ben appeared around the corner of the tent, crouched down, and patted Jazz on the back before meeting my questioning eyes. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” I said, turning my gaze toward the horizon. I was more fine than I had been in a long time. I had lost Glenbroch but I had done my best. And now it was time to start over again. I had a truckload of experience in this area. Everything would be all right, in time.

“How did you know I was here?”

“You did tell Maggie, aye?” His eyes sparkled with that mischievous look I had come to love.

I nodded.

“Enough said.” He sat down, pulled up his knees, and looked out at the horizon with me. “She told me something else. You’re leaving for Aberdeen in the morning. Ellie, it shouldn’t have been like this for you here, and I am sorry for every bit of it. Glenbroch is your home. And a home is meant to be safe and sure. You’ve not had that for a single moment.”

He rustled around in his pack and pulled out a large envelope. “I have something for you. I wanted to do this differently, had this big plan to do this ages ago, but things didn’t go as smoothly . . .” His words faded off before continuing. “Right, well . . .” He handed me the envelope. “This is from me and my family. Hopefully you’ll forgive Maggie for telling me where you were when you see what this is.”

As I began to open the envelope, Ben turned his eyes back to the sea, giving me a measure of privacy. I pulled out the papers, flipping faster and faster to comprehend what they contained. Tears blurred my vision by the final page.

“What about your dad?”

Ben pointed at ink scrawled on the page. “That’s his signature.”

Shifting closer to me, he lifted my chin.

“You came here and changed everything. I know you didn’t mean to, but you did. I am better for having you in my life—my father is better for it. My mother . . . it would kill her if you left.”

“Why would John do this?”

“He had some encouragement, let’s say. I weighed everything out and, as much as I love the Highlands, I’d be miserable here without you. And there was not a chance I would take over Glenbroch for my father after he’d run you off. We had terrible rows because I told him that if he didn’t sign over his interest in Glenbroch, when I inherited I would sell off the MacIver interests and split the money with my brothers. The future he imagined would never happen. Truth is, the blowup between us had needed to happen for years. Still, it took him a good while to realize I was serious.”

Ben looked down at the ground, the rocks clattering as his foot struck them. “You know, it’s strange, but when my father finally signed, he didn’t seem all that upset despite fighting so hard. I don’t understand him but I know I don’t want to spend my life angry. Even though you had him wrong about scheming with Bethanne, he admitted he’d earned your suspicions and caused you a load of pain by trying to take Glenbroch. My dad doesn’t know the word
sorry
. This is as close as I’ve ever seen.”

I laughed, but it came out choked, sounding like a sheep caught in a bramble. Glenbroch was mine. I hadn’t beaten John, but did it matter?

“This is one of the best apologies I’ve ever gotten.”

Ben brushed a hand down the side of my face, and I leaned into his touch. “My mother admitted to me she’s always loved your father, but my dad’s always had her loyalty. She loved him as well. But my dad saw it as a fight between him and Gerard, a fight he lost, even though my mother married him. It made him bitter, and he never felt good enough for my mother. If I’m learning one thing from all this, it’s that to truly win you have to let go of whatever makes you lie to yourself; face the truth, no matter how dark it is, and deal with what you find.”

“But doesn’t it bother you to know your mother loved someone other than your father?”

He stroked my face with both his hands, brushed my hair behind my ears. “Ellie, I understand now the pain my mother has lived with. I see what losing the love of her life has done to her. It was a terrible thing. That’s all I can say about it . . . and I’m determined not to repeat their history.”

“These papers, they mean your father has no stake in Glenbroch? At all? No clause that if I don’t meet certain goals, he can force me out?”

“Aye, these papers nullify the buyout clause. Calum reviewed and approved them but still wants to hear from you to make sure you’re satisfied. A copy of my father’s transfer to me of his share in Glenbroch is included. You and I are partners, but you have majority interest and control. We can arrange a manageable plan for you to buy me out. All will remain in the MacKinnon family—your family line. I won’t fight you, ever, about that. And if you decide to go to Aberdeen and never see me again, Glenbroch is still yours.” His eyes softened. “I can’t say enough how sorry I am that my family put you through all this. You were right. I talked instead of doing something about it for far too long.”

“I’m not. Sorry I mean. How can I be? Wonderful happened and terrible happened. But it brought me here. I’m just starting to have what I’ve dreamed of, and all that’s happened led me to this point in my life. If I wished any of it away, I’d lose what matters to me now.”

How would I have wanted it to be different? Perfect? What was perfect, anyway? I had no idea. This moment felt as perfect as I could imagine something being, and I would never have taken this path to get here, given a choice. I don’t possess the vision to imagine a beautiful end from what feels like a disaster when it’s happening. Maybe it was a good thing to know that I apparently didn’t control everything in my life.

“I probably wouldn’t have come here if I’d known how hard it would be. I’m glad I had no idea.” I remembered the folder. “What was in that folder Bethanne brought to the house?”

“Right. I asked her to pull the numbers for the estate. I wanted to see how Glenbroch was doing. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but if I’d asked you for the information, it would’ve sounded like I was plotting against you. I guess I did whatever I had to do to try to help you keep Glenbroch. Not always the right thing, I suppose.”

“Don’t worry. All is forgiven,” I assured him, shoring up my courage to give Ben news that would change his life. First, I needed more answers to the questions rolling around in me.

“Ben, you told me once that I had the power to wreck or redeem your feckless heart.”

“Aye, it’s true.”

“What did you mean, exactly?” For once, words mattered and I needed to hear them.

He took my face in his hands, held my eyes in his gaze.

“You are a wee bit dafty, aren’t you?” He shook his head. “Ellie Jameson MacKinnon. I am mad about you. Have been from the start. I can’t remember life before you, and I don’t want to.” His eyes glinted fierce and sure. “I. Love. You. And I will follow you to the ends of the earth if you leave. The only way you will be able to get rid of me is to make me understand you don’t want me . . . and it would have to be the truth.”

My body sagged with relief, tinged with apprehension due to the life-changing words I had to speak. I didn’t just need to be brave, I needed to love brave—that could be my new motto. More inspiring than
face your fear
.

Ben pulled me close. I trusted this man as much I trusted anyone. It would be all right. I turned my face into his hand, kissed his palm, placed it on my belly.

“I’m pregnant . . . 
we’re
pregnant.” Every cell in my body held its breath, waiting for his reaction.

Those pale blue eyes widened in shock. “Wha—? Pregnant? With a baby?” His eyes moved to my belly. “Are you okay? After everything?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” I still couldn’t breathe. Was he happy about it or not? I could have driven halfway home in the time that passed before he looked up. The man needed to learn to use his words faster.

“You’re not joking?” he asked, a smile inching across his face.

“There’s more,” I said, plunging ahead, ready to tell it all now.

“More? You said everything’s all right.”

“When I was in the hospital, Dr. Chao gave me some news. We’re not having a baby. We’re having two. Twins. MacIver genes are strong, I guess.” My breath froze again—this was weighty news I’d just dropped on him. “Ready for an adventure?”

“Twins!” He rolled onto his back, a deep belly laugh shaking him as the disappearing sun cast its golden light across his face. His grin fell away as suddenly as it had come, and he sat bolt upright, his manner serious. “I’m ready for everything the future brings with you by my side. I’m absolutely up for an adventure. I got a fair share of practice growing up with Logan and Drew. At least putting up with them was for something.”

Giddy laughter took hold of us both . . . we were together in this.

After the laughter had spent itself, he asked, “MacKinnon or MacIver?”

“What do you mean?” I blinked, not making sense of the question.

“Jameson, MacKinnon, or MacIver?” he said, as he extended his hand and lifted me to my feet.

“What name will the babies have?” My face filled with confusion. It was too early to discuss a decision like this.

Ben unfolded his hand to reveal a dark blue box lying in his palm. He flipped it open.

“What name will you have? Jameson, MacKinnon, MacIver, or any other name you choose, provided you agree to be my wife.” He knelt in front of me, the setting sun’s gold and vivid reds framing his face in silhouette. “Ellie, will you accept my love for you, will you marry me, and make your life with me?”

Images formed a montage in my mind: Ben standing over me on the first day we met; handsome in his kilt as we left on our Highland adventure; lying beneath me after my ceilidh crash; singing a Gaelic lullaby as he held me close in the night.

There had always been only one answer.

I closed my eyes to hold back tears I didn’t want right then. “Yes.”

He held up the ring, displaying the goofy smile that made me see him as the cute five-year-old he must have been.

“Your father gave this ring to my mother and asked for her hand in marriage below the ruins.” He motioned in the direction of Suishnish. “My mother kept it all these years. She wants you to have it. And, no, my father doesn’t know about the ring. My mother claims he never knew Gerard asked her to marry him, and John never knew she’d said yes. She didn’t tell you about the ring and what happened here because she knew of my plan and had already given this ring to me. I didn’t intend to ask you here, in this place, but it’s perfect.”

He took my hand in his. “My father doesnae need to ken where the ring came from. Some secrets are better off remaining secrets. You agree, this is the ring you should have, aye?”

“Aye.” My voice sounded hoarse and tears now blinded my vision.

Of course Gerard had asked me to scatter his ashes here. It all made sense now.

I leaned against Ben as he held the ring to the light of the fading sun. His soft accent rolled over the Gaelic word my father had inscribed on the inside of the band—
gu bràth
—as he slipped the ring of yellow sapphire and white gold onto my finger.

“Forever. Gu bràth means forever, which is how long I will love you,” he said in response to the question in my eyes.

It fit perfectly. It
was
perfect. I couldn’t imagine any other ring on my hand.

“But how did you—?”

“When you were sleeping, I took the measurement of your finger. I knew then I would ask you to be my wife, but I couldn’t until I had Glenbroch sorted out. I needed to prove to you that I had no other motive than wanting to be with you every day and night for the rest of my life.”

“
Every
day and night?” I teased.

“Och, woman, you frustrate me”—Ben narrowed his eyes and gave me a stern look that didn’t last—“but I love it. Aye, promise me you’ll frustrate me the way you do every day and night for the rest of my life, and I will spend my life a happy man.”

In the week after Ben and I returned from Skye, I moved back into Glenbroch. Ben, Ryan, and the crew had outdone themselves on the renovation and repairs. Each day I padded through the entire house, through every beautiful room, scarcely believing this was my forever home.

Ben and I managed to keep the ring and engagement under wraps. We wanted to tell Anna and John first and had worked out how to do it.

When I’d called to turn down the Aberdeen job, Ian congratulated me on retaining Glenbroch. He committed a team to helping revitalize Glenbroch’s somewhat scandalous image and was coming out in a few days for a planning meeting. I looked forward to it as, once again, I needed all the help I could get.

Although I couldn’t work with the ewes and their newborn lambs because of my pregnancy, I had plenty to keep me busy. Even though we had lost several early season bookings, we’d managed to gain a slew of new bookings for later in the summer and early fall. Our first guests would arrive the third week of June and each day I grew more excited to welcome them to the estate.

Jim and Ben went on an improvement frenzy, repairing the bridge and giving it a fresh coat of paint. I knew that fixing up the bridge was their way of helping me see it differently. And it did look different: not gray and weathered but pristine white—fresh and new.

They decided to paint the barn as well and I voted for classic red. We had changed our plans for the barn and decided to use it to store bicycles and other outdoor gear for guests. After all the sheep shearing and usage, the inside needed a cleaning to go with its lovely fresh exterior.