What Matters Most (14 page)

“We do a lot of things well together,” he said. When she seemed uncomfortable with that comment, he changed the subject.

“My dad likes to go fishing, and I’d enjoy going with him if he didn’t expect me to catch a lot of fish. I go fishing in order to sit in the boat with the rod and reel in my hand and go to sleep, or at least relax. If I don’t catch anything, good for the fish. Would you go with me sometime, say, very early one Saturday morning? I will actually try to catch a fish, and we can cook it for breakfast right beside the river.”

“I think I’d like it, but I don’t swim. Daddy wouldn’t let me learn. He said it was too dangerous.”

He tweaked her nose. “I’m not suggesting that you dive for the fish, sweetheart. And as for drowning, you’ll have a life jacket, and a man with you who was an Olympic swimmer.”

“Uh…do you know how to clean a fish?”

“No, but I’ll buy one and get Vernie to show me how.” From the way her eyes widened, he knew that got her attention.

“Mind if I ask who Vernie is?”

No use trying to stop the grin that that he could feel taking control of his face. He felt good. “I don’t mind at all,” he said and let the laughter pour out of him.

She reached down and poked his thigh with her fist. “Very clever, but if you don’t tell me, I’m not going fishing with you.”

“That’s blackmail. If you won’t go, I’ll have to take Vernie. At least she can clean the fish.”

She pretended to pout. “If I’m that easily replaced…” She let the thought hang.

“You are not easily replaced,” he told her, “not for fishing or for anything else.”

“I was teasing.”

“So was I, but I am not teasing now. Let’s not tease about anything that could cause a misunderstanding between us, Melanie. What do you want from life, now that you’ve hurtled that huge obstacle? Do you…” It wasn’t the right time, but he had a sudden compulsion to know. “Do you want a family?”

She didn’t look at him, and somehow, he’d known that she wouldn’t. “Of course I want a family,” she said, her voice lower than usual. “But I’m already thirty-one and, with things as they are, well…you know.”

“A lot of women have their first child late, nowadays. You take care of your health, so your chances should be as good as anyone’s.”

He’d never seen her so crestfallen, and he wished he hadn’t brought it up, but at least he knew something about her that was so personal and so important to her that she couldn’t talk about it.

“I’d like another dance,” he said, “but keep a little space between us, please.”

She livened up, winked at him and a smile bloomed on her face. “In that case, what’s the point? Half the fun is snuggling up.”

He intended the look he gave her to serve as a reprimand. “You’re getting fresh with me.”

“You don’t like it?” she asked, looking at him from beneath slightly lowered eyelids.

“Of course I like it. There’s someplace else I want to take you. Can we leave now?” He was not going to let her bamboozle him. Sitting across from her while she toyed with his libido—maybe not intentionally, but it was a fact—was getting to him. He stared at her cleavage and licked his lips. Damn! He walked around to her chair and held it for her as she stood. Now, how did she manage to get that close to him? He knew he hadn’t moved.

“Thanks for a lovely time,” she said, and strolled off like a queen who knew that her entourage would follow.

Oh, heck. It wasn’t her; it was him, his head and his libido. If she could see how perfect she looked in that dress…He touched her elbow. “Let’s stop by a little café that I like. Maybe you know it. Lovers’ Snare. If you’re tired, we won’t stay long.”

“I don’t know the place, but I’d love to go there with you. I’m enjoying this evening too much to be tired.” She reached for his hand, and he liked that. She didn’t force a man to make all the overtures, but let him know that she enjoyed being with him.

Shortly thereafter, they entered what always looked to him like a dream: a small room with a dozen tables, clouds bedecked with a moon and stars replaced the ceiling, a single candle glowed on each table and grayish-blue furnishings and decor completed the dream.

He enjoyed her gasp as they walked in.

“I feel as if I’ve entered another world. This place is wonderful.”

“Thanks. I hoped you’d like it. I’m going to have a dish of ice cream and some champagne. What would you like?”

“Since I don’t have to work tomorrow, I’ll have the same.”

“A bottle of Veuve Cliquot, and two bowls of raspberry-vanilla,” he told the waitress.

“You always remember what I like,” she said. “That’s amazing.”

“Not really. I want to please you and make you comfortable.” She lowered her gaze, and he wondered when, if ever, she would accept the fact that she was special to him and that he wanted her. He glanced toward a nearby table and back to her. The man at the other table was literally undressing her with his eyes, though she was obviously unaware of him. He looked straight at the guy and narrowed his right eye in what the man would understand as a warning. Pity the woman beside the guy if she was his wife.

“This ice cream is scrumptious,” she said, “and by the time I get home you will have increased my weight by a good five pounds, and I won’t be able to get out of this dress.”

He sampled his ice cream. “I was wondering about that. If you poured yourself into it, you can’t pour yourself out of it. I guess you’ll have to wear it until you lose a few pounds.”

“Very funny.” The waiter poured the champagne, and he raised his glass to her. “You’d be surprised at the changes you’ve made in my life, Melanie. Congratulations on getting your degree and your cap. You are a very special woman.” He clicked her glass and handed her the parcel that he’d carried in his trouser pocket.

“Oh, gee. Can I open it now?” She removed the silver ribbon and paper with unsteady fingers and gasped. “Fendi! Oh, Jack, I’ve never had a designer perfume in my whole life. I was wishing I had some to wear this evening, and I’d made up my mind that as soon as I got paid, that would be the first thing I bought. If we were someplace else, I’d hug you.”

“You can hug me here.”

Immediately, she got up, stepped around to his chair, leaned over and kissed his lips. “You’ve changed my life, too,” she whispered, and before he could touch her, she swished back to her seat.

“Why can’t you look at me, Melanie? You can kiss me, but you won’t look at me.”

“That’s not true.” She was miffed, and as usual, when he annoyed her, she had no trouble looking him in the eye and letting him know it.

“Oh, you’ll even stare me down when I irritate you, but if we’re like we are now, you look everywhere but my eyes. Why? Why are you afraid of revealing yourself to me?”

“When you reveal yourself to me, Jack, maybe I’ll be able to reciprocate. Can we drop this?”

“Touché. Are you seeing a man on a regular basis?” He could see that his question surprised her. “Are you?”

“No. I haven’t had time for a social life.”

“Does it surprise you that I want to take up as much of your free time as I can, and that I don’t want you to see other men?”

“Surprise would be an inadequate way to put it. I’m stunned.”

He leaned forward. “Why? Do you think that because I wear that white coat with a stethoscope stuffed in the pocket I don’t need love and tenderness, that I don’t get lonely?”

“No, I don’t think that, Jack, but I haven’t let myself believe that you wanted it from me.”

“It isn’t a matter of want. I said need.” She seemed flustered, but he didn’t intend to let it drop until she admitted that she felt something for him. “If you’ve never imagined yourself with me, I don’t want to know it.”

“But, Jack, you’re my boss.”

“I know that, and if I thought I could get a nurse who suited me a quarter as well as you do, I’d fire you and pursue you like an outfielder after a fly ball. I’m serious, Melanie.”

“I know, but how can we keep this separate from our work?”

“Easily. We’re both adults, and we’re both dedicated to what we do.” She looked as if she carried the world on her shoulders, so he smiled. “It’ll be all right. If you’d like nothing else, would you like to leave now? It’s a beautiful night, and I’d like to walk along the river with you, that is, if you aren’t too tired.”

“I’m not tired, but this dress wasn’t meant for walking. Still…I’ve never watched a river rush along beneath the moonlight.” She reached for his hand. “Let’s go. If I trip, you’ll break my fall.”

“In that and all things,” he heard himself say.

An hour passed before he stood with her at the door of her apartment, looked at his watch and saw that it was a quarter after one in the morning. “It’s late. I hope I haven’t exhausted you.”

“All you’ve done today is make me happy, Jack. I’ve never known a day such as this one, and it’s etched in my memory. Thank you.” He took her door key, and used it. But what was next? What did she expect of him?

She settled it when she said, “It’s too late for me to ask you to come in, and I’d like this day to last forever, but I’m adult enough to know that isn’t possible.”

He didn’t want to lose points with her, but he wanted more. Hell, he’d never backed away from anything he wanted, no matter how remote the chance that he’d get it. He wanted her, and he intended to have her.

“Nothing is impossible between two people if they both want it,” he said, “and I want you.” Her gasp gave him the opportunity, and he wrapped her in his arms and plunged his tongue into her waiting mouth. She gripped his shoulders, then slid her hands to the back of his head, adding pressure to his kiss while she sucked him deeper into her mouth. Stunned by the fierceness of her need, he gave himself to her, gripping her hips with one hand and her shoulder with the other, drowning in her sweetness. Her nipples became little hard pebbles pressing against his chest, and he wanted them in his mouth. When she began to twist against him, her groans mingling with his, he tightened his hold on her, and she took his hand and placed it against her left breast. He could feel the heat flowing to his groin, but he told himself to control it while he gave her what she wanted. He dipped his hand into the bodice of her strapless gown, released her left breast, lifted it and sucked her nipple into his mouth. He’d been dying for it all evening, and he didn’t spare it, sucking as if his life depended on it. He wanted to devour her, to bury himself in her to the hilt. He wanted…

He eased her back to the wall, released her and braced his hands on either side of her head. “I know this isn’t the time for what we want right now. My head is ruling my desires, otherwise I’d carry you to your bed, and I wouldn’t leave you until we were both sated and weak from it.” He kissed her lips as gently as he could without further inflaming his libido. “If we ever get this far again, we’ll make love, sweetheart. Get used to the idea that you are going to be mine, and I am going to belong to you.”

She shook her head as if in disbelief. “You can’t imagine how difficult getting used to that’s going to be. You’re so special to me, Jack. If anything happened to destroy that, I don’t know what I’d do.” She reached up, pressed her lips to his, hugged him and opened the door. “Good night.”

Nobody had to tell him that he wasn’t the same man who attended her graduation ceremony that morning or that he would ever be the same. She was deep inside him, and he didn’t doubt that she would always be there. What was he going to do about it?

Lacking the strength to collect herself and prepare for bed, Melanie sat on a chair in her living room musing about the evening. She and Jack cared for each other, but all that he showed her and the places he took her…his tastes…told her how far apart they really were. He was born with a sliver spoon in his mouth, she with plastic, so to speak, and she didn’t believe that their worlds could mate. Still, she didn’t know what she’d do if he took himself out of her life.

She opened the perfume, sniffed and dabbed some behind her ears. If she’d had her choice, she would have picked that one. How had he known that the delicate fragrance suited her? She went to her room, lit two candles on her dresser, undressed, took a shower and slipped into bed.

The phone rang, and she answered it, knowing that the voice would either make her happy, if it belonged to Jack, or miserable, if the caller were her father. “Hello.”

“Gosh, I’m sorry if you were asleep. I thought you might be in bed, but I didn’t think you’d gone to sleep.”

“Hi.”

“I couldn’t sleep without telling you that this was the happiest day I’ve spent in years, maybe ever. I didn’t want it to end, and I certainly didn’t want to leave you. Will you go with me to a concert Sunday afternoon? It’s at the Meyerhoff Symphony Hall at three in the afternoon.”

She had never been to that concert hall or to any symphonic concert, but she loved music, although she’d learned it from the radio and CDs. “I’d love to go,” she said, trying not to sound too eager. But she
was
eager; she wanted to see how his set lived, and she wanted to be with him.

Sunday afternoon, she dressed in a white suit—substituting a skirt for the pants—a ruffled lavender blouse and white accessories, considered herself as well-dressed for the occasion as she could be and sat down to wait for him. He rang her bell promptly at two o’clock and greeted her with a possessive kiss. He wore a pale-gray linen suit, a lighter gray shirt and a yellow-and-gray paisley tie.

“You always look perfect,” she told him.

“Not any more than you do.”

He held her hand throughout Mozart’s “Symphony Number One,” and, at intermission, he walked with her to the lounge. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

At least a dozen people greeted him while they stood there sipping wine, and when his expression changed to one of irritation, she followed his gaze and saw a tall, attractive and elegant woman staring at him with obvious disapproval.

Goose pimples formed on her arms. “Who is she, Jack?”

“We were friends. She decided that she owned me, but I had never given her reason to feel that way. We went around in the same set, my dad liked her, and she decided that counted for something. I told her and my father that I would not settle for a woman merely because we had the same friends, that I wanted to spend my life with a woman I loved and that I wouldn’t need him to help me choose her.”