What to Expect the First Year (17 page)

Play mat.
Baby doesn't always have to be “in” something to be entertained. Often, the best and most productive playtime comes when your little one has the freedom of movement—even before he or she is able to move around much. Plus, your baby needs plenty of tummy time practice (
click here
), and that's something he or she can't get while perched in your arms or strapped into an infant seat. Enter the play mat (or play gym or tummy mat)—a virtual amusement park of entertainment at your baby's reach.

Play mats come in a variety of shapes (round, square, rectangle) and designs. Most are brightly colored and patterned (and even differently textured), some play sounds and music, and others have mirrors and plush toys either attached with plastic rings or hung from an arched activity bar (great for developing those crucial fine-motor skills). Size definitely matters when it comes to a play mat—you'll want one that's big enough to accommodate your little one's body size (not a problem when baby's a newborn, but when buying one, think ahead and buy one your baby can grow with). Another feature that matters: washability (you'll understand why after the third spit-up and second pee leak). The best perk of the mat? It folds up easily and usually compactly—great for storage or travel.

They make it look so easy, those breastfeeding moms you've seen. Without skipping a beat of conversation or a bite of lunch, with one hand and no sweat, they open a button and latch on a baby—as though breastfeeding were the most natural process in the world. But while the source may be natural, nursing know-how—especially for newbie mamas and their babies—often doesn't come naturally at all, particularly at first.

Your early breastfeeding experiences may be the stuff new mom dreams are made of—your just-delivered baby latches on instantly and suckles like a little pro. Or, maybe, not so much. Instead, your breastfeeding debut may seem more like a dud. Baby can't seem to get a hold on your nipple, never mind suckle on it. You're frustrated, baby's fussy, and soon both of you are crying. Your baby's not getting fed, and you're getting fed up.

Whether it's a first-time breeze, something of a struggle, or somewhere in between, every brand new breastfeeding team has a lot to learn. Some seem to have even more to learn than others. Happily, with a little time and a little help (which is what this chapter is here to provide), it won't be long before your baby and your breasts are in perfect sync, and you're making it look completely easy—and completely natural, too.

Know you'd like to give breastfeeding your best but aren't sure where to begin? There are plenty of steps you can take to give you and your baby an edge in breastfeeding success:

Learn all about it.
Reading up can help you get a leg up on breastfeeding. Feel like you need even more training before you hit the starting gate? Consider a breastfeeding class, offered by many
hospitals, lactation consultants, or your local La Leche League. Breastfeeding classes teach the basics and beyond—how breastfeeding works, how to help boost your milk supply, how to get a good latch, and how to troubleshoot—and many are geared to both parents (a great way to get dad involved from the get-go).

Get an early start.
Early-bird nursers tend to catch on sooner, not to mention latch on sooner. Babies are born ready to breastfeed—and in fact, they show extra eagerness to suck during the first two hours after birth, with the sucking reflex at its most powerful about 30 to 60 minutes following delivery. So plan to breastfeed as soon as you can—right in the birthing room is ideal, after some initial cuddling—assuming both you and your new arrival are up to it. But don't stress if your baby (or you) don't catch on right away, or if one of you needs a little extra care, making first-thing breastfeeding impossible. Just catch up as soon as it's practical.

Got an early start, but still find that you and baby are fumbling at feedings? Not to worry. Just about every breastfeeding team needs practice, practice, practice (and patience, patience, patience) before they perfect their technique.

Get together.
Clearly, breastfeeding takes togetherness—and the more time you and baby spend together in the hospital, the easier getting together for feeds will be. So opt for full-time rooming-in if you can—not only will it be more convenient, but you'll also be assured that no one is mistakenly (inadvertently) offering your baby bottles or a pacifier in the nursery. If you're exhausted from a long labor or don't feel confident enough yet to deal with your baby on a 24-hour basis, partial rooming-in (days, but not nights) can offer a good compromise. With this system you can have your baby with you all day for demand feeding, and have a nurse deliver your little bundle for night feeds—so you can catch a few z's in between.

If you'd like to room in with your baby, put in a request in advance if you can. If rooming-in isn't an option for you (some hospitals allow rooming-in only in private rooms or when both patients in a shared room want to keep their newborns with them), or you decide to opt out of it, just ask to have baby brought to you whenever he or she is ready to feed, or at least every 2 to 3 hours.

Work the system—and ban the bottle.
Since hospital nurseries are busy places—with a whole lot of crying going on at any given time—it's not surprising that staff can be quick to calm a fussy baby with a bottle. Understandable, but if you're trying to get breastfeeding off to the best start, not the best plan. Glucose water or formula can sabotage early breastfeeding efforts by satisfying your newborn's tender appetite and urge to suck. And since an artificial nipple yields results with less effort, you may find your baby reluctant to tackle your harder-to-work nipples after a few encounters with a bottle. Worse still, if baby's getting that sucking satisfaction elsewhere, your breasts won't be stimulated to produce enough milk—and a vicious cycle can begin, one that interferes with establishment of a good demand-and-supply system.

Don't let the hospital system disrupt your breastfeeding system. Be bossy when it comes to breastfeeding your baby. Explain your preferences (demand feeding, no supplementary bottles of formula or water unless medically necessary, no pacifiers if you're
choosing to forgo the paci at first) to the nursing staff—and if you meet any resistance, ask your practitioner to make your case. You may even want to put a friendly reminder on the baby's bassinet that reads “Breastfeeding only—no bottles, please.”

Take requests—but don't wait for one.
Feeding babies when they're hungry (on demand) instead of when the clock says to (on a schedule) is ultimately best for breastfeeding success. But since babies aren't born hungry (appetite generally picks up somewhere around the third day), chances are there won't be much demand at first, and that you'll have to initiate (and even push) most of the feedings. So get pushy. Aim for at least 8 to 12 feedings a day, even if the demand isn't up to that level yet. Not only will this keep your baby happy, but it will also stimulate your breasts to increase your milk supply so it can meet the demand as it grows. Going longer than 2 to 3 hours between feeds, on the other hand, can increase engorgement for you and decrease supply for baby.

Baby's more interested in z's than feeds—or can't seem to stay awake for more than a few moments of suckling?
Click here
for tips on waking that sleeping baby.

Know the hunger signs.
Ideally, you should feed your baby at the first signs of hunger or interest in sucking, which might include mouthing those tiny hands, rooting around for a nipple, or just being particularly alert. Crying is a late sign of hunger, so try not to wait until frantic crying begins to start feeding. But if crying has already commenced, settle your little one down with some rocking and soothing before you start nursing. Or offer your finger to suck on until baby calms down. After all, it's hard enough for an inexperienced sucker to find the nipple when calm—when your baby has worked up to a full-fledged frenzy, it may be flat-out impossible.

Practice, practice, practice.
Practice makes perfect, but it doesn't make milk—at least not right away. It takes about four days for milk to arrive, and that's actually a good thing. Your supply is tailored to your baby's needs, and in those first few days of life, those needs are minimal—easily filled by the minuscule amounts of colostrum, power-packed premilk (
click here
) that you're producing while you're practicing. So consider those early feeds “dry runs”—a chance to perfect your technique while you pump up the milk supply to come.

Give it time.
No successful breastfeeding relationship was built in a day—or even in a really, really long night. Baby, fresh out of the womb, is certainly a nursing newbie—and so are you if this is your first time. You both have a lot to learn on the job, so expect plenty of trial and even more error before supplier (you) and demander (baby) are working in sync. Even if you've successfully nursed another baby before, remember, every baby is different—which means the road to breastfeeding success may take different turns this time around.

Baby's arrival was a long haul, and you're both feeling a little extra groggy? You may need to sleep it off before you get serious about tackling the road ahead—and that's fine, too.

Get support.
Your breastfeeding team will definitely benefit from having a coach (or even a team of coaches) to help you get started, offer tips on technique, and cheer you on if you're slumping. Most hospitals and just about all birthing centers provide routine
breastfeeding support—and if yours does, you'll be teamed up with a lactation specialist who will join you during at least a couple of your baby's first feedings to provide hands-on instruction and helpful hints. If this service isn't offered to you automatically at delivery, ask for it (preferably ahead of time)—and if it's not available, see if there is a lactation consultant (LC) or a nursing-knowledgeable nurse who can observe your technique and redirect you if you and your baby aren't on target. Or, if it's financially feasible, try to find a local LC willing to make a house call to the hospital. If you leave the hospital or birthing center before getting help (hopefully this won't happen), make sure that someone with breastfeeding expertise—the baby's doctor, a doula, or an outside LC—checks out your technique within a couple of days.

You can also find empathy and advice by contacting your local La Leche League chapter. Volunteers at La Leche are experienced nursing moms who are trained to become accredited leaders. Or enlist the support of friends or relatives who have nursing know-how.

Keep your cool.
Feeling a little overwhelmed (or even a smidge stressed out) by the 7 to 8 pounds or so of swaddled responsibilities you've just been handed? Of course you are. But tension can inhibit the let-down of the milk you make (or will soon be making)—which means you might not be able to dispense it until you relax. If you're feeling on edge just before a feed, try to chill out first with a few relaxation exercises (they should be fresh in your mind just after labor) or some deep breaths. Or just close your eyes and listen to soft music for a few minutes—baby's likely to be relaxed by the vibe, too.