What to Expect the First Year (32 page)

“Why do the whites of my baby's eyes look bloodshot?”

It's not the late hours that newborns keep that often give their eyes that bloodshot look (no, that would be why your eyes will be looking so red for the next few months). Rather, it's a harmless condition that occurs when there is trauma to the eyeball—often in the form of broken blood vessels—during delivery. Like a skin bruise, the discoloration disappears in a few days and does not indicate there has been any damage to your baby's sweet peepers.

By the way, the same can be said for new moms who put in a lot of pushing time and end up temporarily sporting broken blood vessels in and around their eyes.

“I was hoping my baby would have green eyes like her father, but her eyes seem to be a dark grayish color. Is there any chance that they'll turn?”

Will it be baby blues … or browns … or greens … or hazels? It's definitely too early to call now. Most Caucasian babies are born with dark blue or slate-colored eyes, while most dark-skinned infants arrive with dark, usually brown, eyes. While the dark eyes of the darker-skinned babies will usually stay dark, the eye color of Caucasian babies may go through a number of changes (keeping parents guessing) before becoming set somewhere between 3 and 6 months, or even later. And since pigmentation of the iris may continue increasing during the entire first year, the depth of color may not be clear until around baby's first birthday.

“My baby seemed very alert right after she was born, but ever since, she's been sleeping so soundly, I can hardly wake her to eat, much less to play with her.”

Nine long months of waiting to meet your baby … and now that she's here, all she does is sleep? As frustrating as it can be for new parents eager to engage with their little ones, chronic sleepiness is completely normal for brand new newborns—not a reflection on your socializing skills, just a sign that baby's doing what comes naturally. An alert and wakeful first hour after birth, followed by a long stretch of pronounced drowsiness (as long as 24 hours, though she won't sleep for 24 hours straight) is the predictable pattern for newborns—probably designed to give babies a chance to recover from the hard work of being born, and their mothers a chance to recover from the hard work of giving birth. (You will need to make sure that your baby fits feedings into her sleep schedule, however.
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for some waking techniques.)

Don't expect your newborn to become much more stimulating company once those 24 hours of sleepiness are over, either. Here's approximately how you can expect it to go: In the first few weeks of life, her 2- to 4-hour-long sleeping periods will end abruptly with crying. She'll rouse to a semi-awake state to eat, probably doing a fair amount of dozing while she's feeding (shaking the nipple around in her mouth will get her sucking again when she drifts off midmeal). Once she's full, she'll finally fall more soundly asleep, ready for yet another nap.

At first, your little sleepyhead will be truly alert for only about 3 minutes of every hour during the day and less (you hope) at night, a schedule that will allow a total of about an hour a day for active socializing. Maybe not enough for you (after all, how long have you waited to try out your peekaboo prowess?), but it's just what Mother Nature ordered for your baby. She's not mature enough to benefit from longer periods of alertness, and these periods of sleep—particularly of REM (or dream state) sleep—help her grow and develop.

Gradually, your baby's periods of wakefulness will grow longer. By the end of the first month, she'll probably be alert for about 2 to 3 hours every day, most of it in one relatively long stretch, usually in the late afternoon. Instead of being a round-the-clock cycle, more of her sleep will be concentrated during her evening “naps,” which will begin to last longer—instead of being 2 or 3 hours long, some may soon last as long as 6 or 6½ hours.

In the meantime, instead of standing over the bassinet waiting for her to wake for a play session, try hitting your own snooze button. Use her sleeping time to store up a few z's of your own—which you'll need for the days (and nights) ahead, when she'll probably be awake more than you'd like.

“My baby just gagged, and then spit up some liquidy stuff—apparently out of nowhere, since I hadn't nursed him recently. What could that be?”

Your baby spent the last 9 months, more or less, living in a liquid environment—where he didn't breathe air but did suck in a lot of fluid. Though his airways were probably suctioned within moments of delivery, additional mucus and fluid may have lingered in his lungs (especially if he was delivered via C-section and didn't have the tight squeeze through the birth canal to help squeeze out more of that mucus). That little bit of gagging is just his way of bringing the rest of that gunk up and out. In other words, it is perfectly normal and absolutely nothing to stress about.

“It's been 2 days since I gave birth to my baby girl, and nothing comes out of my breasts when I squeeze them. She's nursing fine, but I'm worried that she's starving.”

Not only is your baby not starving, but she isn't even hungry yet. Infants aren't born with an appetite, or even with immediate nutritional needs. And by the time your baby begins to get hungry for a breast full of milk, usually around the third or fourth postpartum day, you'll almost certainly be able to serve it up.

Which isn't to say that your breasts are empty now. They're dispensing colostrum, a pretty remarkable premilk that's custom made for newborns. Colostrum not only provides your baby with all the nourishment she needs (and wants) right now, but also with important antibodies her own body can't yet produce … and all of this while helping to empty her digestive system of meconium and excess mucus. But part of the genius of colostrum is how concentrated it is—and how it provides all of those amazing benefits to your baby in tiny amounts. First feedings average less than a half teaspoon, and by the third day, they max out at less than 3 tablespoons per feeding. What's more, colostrum isn't that easy to express manually—in fact, even a day-old baby, with no previous experience, is better equipped to extract it than you are.

“The pediatrician says I should feed my baby every 2 to 3 hours, but sometimes he sleeps for 5 or 6. Should I wake him up to eat?”

Some babies are perfectly content to sleep through meals, particularly during the first few days of life, when they're more sleepy than hungry. But letting a sleeping baby lie through his feedings means that he won't be getting enough to eat, and if you're nursing, that your milk supply won't be getting the jump start it needs. If your baby is a sleepy baby, try these rousing techniques at mealtime:

• Choose the right sleep to wake him from. Baby will be much more easily roused during active, or REM, sleep. You'll know your baby is in this light sleep cycle (it takes up about 50 percent of his sleeping time) when he starts moving his arms and legs, changing facial expressions, and fluttering his eyelids.

• Unwrap him. Sometimes, just unswaddling your baby will wake him up. If it doesn't, undress him right down to the diaper (room temperature permitting) and try some skin-to-skin contact.

• Go for a change. Even if his diaper's not that wet, a change may be just the jolt he needs to wake him for his meal.

• Dim the lights. Though it may seem that turning on the high-voltage lamps might be the best way to jolt baby out of his slumber, it could have just the opposite effect. A newborn's eyes are sensitive to light, so if the room is too bright, your baby may be more comfortable keeping those peepers tightly shut. But don't turn the lights all the way off. A too-dark room will only lull baby back off to dreamland.

• Try the “doll's eyes” technique. Holding a baby upright will usually cause his eyes to open (much as a doll's would). Gently raise your baby into an upright or sitting position and pat him on the back. Be careful not to jackknife him (fold him forward).

• Be sociable. Sing a lively song. Talk to your baby and, once you get his eyes open, make eye contact with him. A little social stimulation may coax him to stay awake.

• Rub him the right way. Stroke the palms of your baby's hands and soles of his feet, then massage his arms, back, and shoulders. Or do some baby aerobics: move his arms, and pump his legs in a bicycling motion (a great trick for releasing gas, too).

• If sleepyhead still won't rise to the feeding occasion, place a cool (not cold) washcloth on his forehead or rub his face gently with the washcloth.

Of course, getting baby up doesn't mean you'll be able to keep baby up—especially not after a few nips of sleep-inducing milk. A baby who's still drowsy may take the nipple, suckle briefly, then promptly fall back asleep, long before he's managed to make a meal of it. When this happens, try:

• A burp—whether baby needs a bubble or not, the jostling may rouse him again.

• A change—this time, of feeding position. Whether you're nursing or bottle-feeding, switch from the cradle hold to the football hold (which babies are less likely to sleep in).

• A dribble—some breast milk or formula dribbled on baby's lips may whet his appetite for his second course.

• A jiggle—jiggling the breast or bottle in his mouth or stroking his cheek may get the sucking action going again, even if he's just doing it in his sleep (babies often do).

• And repeat—some young babies alternate sucking and dozing from the start of the meal to the finish. If that's the case with your baby, you may find you'll have to burp, change, dribble, and jiggle at least several times to get a full feeding in.

It's fine to occasionally let your baby sleep when he's dropped off to dreamland after just a brief appetizer and all efforts to tempt him into his entrée have failed. But for now, don't let him go more than 3 hours without a full meal if he's nursing, or 4 hours if he's formula-fed. It's also not a good idea to let your baby nip and nap at 15-to 30-minute intervals all day long. If that seems to be the trend, be relentless in your attempts to wake him when he dozes off during a feed.

If chronic sleepiness interferes so much with eating that your baby isn't thriving (
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for signs), consult the doctor.