What to expect when you're expecting (65 page)

Get a groove on. If you’re in the mood for love (and if you’re not too busy puking), making love can turn that frown upside down by releasing happy hormones. It can also bring you closer to your partner at a time when your relationship may be facing new challenges. If sex isn’t in the cards, just taking the time for intimacy of any kind (cuddling, pillow talk, hand-holding on the sofa) can help boost your mood.

Light up your life. Research has shown that sunlight can actually lighten your moods. When the sun’s shining, try catching some daily rays (just don’t forget to apply sunscreen first).

Talk about it. Worried? Anxious? Feeling unsettled? Feeling unsure? Pregnancy is a time of many mixed emotions, which play themselves out in mood swings. Venting some of those feelings—to your spouse (who’s probably feeling plenty of the same things), to friends who can relate, to other expectant moms on online pregnancy message boards (check out the ones on whattoexpect.com)—can help you feel better, or at least help you see that what you’re feeling is normal.

Rest up. Fatigue can exacerbate normal pregnancy mood swings, so make sure you’re getting enough sleep (but not too much, since that can actually increase fatigue and emotional instability).

Learn to relax. Stress can definitely take your moods down, so find ways of moderating it or coping with it better. See
page 142
for tips.

If there’s one person in your life who’s more affected—and bewildered—by your mood swings than you are, it’s your spouse. It’ll help for him to understand why you’re acting the way you are these days (that surges of pregnancy hormones are holding your emotions hostage), but it’ll also help for him to know exactly how he can help you. So tell him what you need (more help around the house? a night out at your favorite restaurant?) and what you don’t need (hearing that your rear’s looking a little wide; his leaving a trail of socks and underwear down the hallway) right now, what makes you feel better and what makes you feel worse. And be specific: Even the most loving spouse isn’t a mind reader. See Chapter 19 for more on coping strategies for fathers-to-be.

“I expected some mood swings with pregnancy, but I’m not just a little down—I’m depressed all the time.”

Every pregnant woman has her ups and downs, and that’s normal. But if your lows are consistent or frequent, you may be among the 10 to 15 percent of pregnant women who battle mild to moderate depression during pregnancy. Here are some of the factors that can put an expectant mom at risk for such depression:

A personal or family history of mood disorder

Financial or marital stress

Lack of emotional support from and communication with the baby’s father

Hospitalization or bed rest because of pregnancy complications

Anxiety about her own health, especially if she has a chronic medical condition or has previously experienced complications or illness during pregnancy

Anxiety about her baby’s health, especially if there is a personal or family history of miscarriage, birth defects, or other problems

The most common symptoms of true depression, in addition to feeling sad, empty, and emotionally lethargic, include sleep disturbances (you get too much or too little); changed eating habits (not eating at all or eating continually); prolonged or unusual fatigue and/or excessive agitation or restlessness; extended loss of interest in work, play, and other activities or pleasures; reduced ability to concentrate and focus; exaggerated mood swings; and even self-destructive thoughts. There may also be unexplained aches and pains. If that sounds like what you’re experiencing, start by trying those tips for dealing with mood swings in the previous question.