Whatever He Wants (21 page)

 
     
“Noelle. Wake up! What happened?”

 
     
Her head lolled from side to side as she
released a moan. “The light,” she whispered.

 
     
“What?”

 
     
“It hurts.
The light.
Turn it off.”

 
     
Whispering another curse, James hooked one
arm beneath her knees and the other around her back and lifted her as he stood.
He carried her the short distance to the couch and gently laid her down. “I’ll
call an ambulance. Don’t move.”

 
     
“No,” she weakly croaked.

 
     
“You’re not well. You need to see a
doctor.”

 
     
“No doctor,” she whispered, her eyes still
closed.
“Just a migraine.
I get these sometimes. I’ll
be okay. Just have to lie very still.
In the dark.”

 
     
“Does a migraine make you pass out like
this? No, I’m calling the doctor.”

 
     
“Stop.
Yelling.
No ambulance. I just need to sleep this off.”

 
     
“I wasn’t
yell
—,”
he sighed. James could imagine every sound was probably like an earsplitting
jackhammer to her. He modified his tone to a whisper. “At the very least allow
me to call a doctor to come check you out.

 
     
“You’re wasting your time. I have tablets.
If I get a couple, I’ll be fine.”

 
     
James needed to strain in order to hear
her. She sounded so weak and he felt helpless seeing her in so much pain.
Noelle seemed to know best in this situation so he decided to go along with her
request. He turned the light off and went back to the couch to collect her.

 
     
Noelle gasped when he lifted her into his
arms again. He was careful as he carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom,
holding her close like a fragile parcel. Once James laid her down in the center
of the bed, he took extra care as he removed her coat, shoes. He stripped her
down until she was in her bra and panties. Though her body encased in a black
lace bra and panty set would have sent his hormones raging in other
circumstances, he pushed away any urges he felt of a sexual nature. He pulled
back the covers and tucked her in.

 
     
“Noelle, what pills do you need?”

 
     
He thought she passed out again but she
finally answered after a long pause.
“In the medicine cabinet
in my bathroom.
It’s the only prescription bottle in there, you can’t
miss it. I only need two.”

 
     
“I’ll be right back.” James had no problem
finding the pills per her instruction. He left the two tablets on her
nightstand and ran back downstairs to get her a bottled water to wash them down
with. When he returned, he sat on the bed next to her and lifted her up. “Here
take these,” he prompted, feeding Noelle the pills.

 
     
She winced in obvious pain but opened her
mouth to receive them. James took the water and pressed it against her lips.
She took a few sips and swallowed. When James was satisfied Noelle had washed
the medicine down, he lowered her on the pillow. He then went to the bathroom,
found a washcloth and ran in it under icy water. James returned to her with the
damp cloth and placed it over her forehead. “This should make you feel better.”

 
     
“Why?” She groaned.

 
     
“Why what?”

 
     
“Why are you being so nice to me?”

 
     
“You’re yelling again.”

 
     
He silently counted to ten to get his ire
under control. She was sick and probably not thinking clearly. He made sure to
lower his voice when he spoke next. “Noelle, this is basic common courtesy. If
I were ill enough to pass out, I’d hope someone would help me.”

 
     
“It’s no big deal. Like I said, I’m used
to them.”

 
     
“Have you seen a doctor about them? I’ve
had headaches before but none have made me pass out.”

 
     
“You’ve obviously never had a headache.
They’re a million times worse. James, thank you for being here but you can go
now. The pills should start working soon.”

 
     
“I’m not going anywhere. Not while you’re
like this.” He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if anything happened to her
and he could have done something about it. James kept that last bit to himself,
afraid to make this situation into something more than it actually was.

 
     
James slid off the bed and removed his
suit jacket and shoes. He walked to the other side of the bed and slid next to
Noelle.

 
     
“James?”

 
     
“
Shh
.
Just rest.
I’ll be here if you need anything.”

 
     
“You don’t have to.”

 
     
“I know I don’t. I want to.”

 
     
Noelle didn’t say anything afterwards. The
two of them lay in silence. After a while, James figured Noelle had gone to
sleep. This gave James the opportunity to think. He was playing with fire
laying her with her this way. He didn’t want her to get ideas but he couldn’t
walk away from her either.

 
     
It had scared the hell out of him seeing
her
passed out on the floor. His heart nearly plummeted to
his feet. He decided to not question why because it might lead him to an answer
he wasn’t ready to deal with.

 
     
Lying here with her like this reminded him
of the period of time when he took care of his grandfather. His grandpa had
meant the world to James. When he’d gotten sick James had taken a break from
school to take care of him. It was an emotionally and physically taxing time.
James never thought he’d find himself taking care of anyone like this again,
although the situations were vastly different.

 
     
James must have dozed off because the next
thing he knew, he was being nudged awake. “James?”

 
     
It took several seconds for James to
remember where he was. He sat up and looked over at the clock on the
nightstand. It was two in the morning. Sometime when he’d fallen asleep, Noelle
had gravitated toward him and his arms were wrapped around her.

 
     
“Yes? How do you feel?” He held on to her,
relishing the feel of her in his arms.

 
     
“Better, thank you for staying here with
me but I would have been fine by myself.”

 
     
“You were doing so well by yourself you
were passed out downstairs by the door. These migraines, how often do you get
them?”

 
     
“Not very often but mostly when I’m
stressed or upset about something.”

 
     
“And what upset you so much that you got
sick?”

 
     
“Do you really want to know or are you
asking out of politeness?”

 
     
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to
know.”

 
     
“James, I think some things are probably
better left unsaid.”

 
     
Now James was even more determined to find
out what the problem was. He didn’t like her keeping secrets from him,
especially when he suspected they were about him. “Is it about earlier?”

 
     
“James, have you ever done something you
knew wasn’t good for you but you kept doing it anyway?”

 
     
He wasn’t sure what she meant by that but
he figured it was her roundabout way of answering the question. “Yes. Actually
I have.”

 
     
She chuckled lightly. “I find that hard to
believe. You seem to be the most together man I’ve ever met. You’re very sure
of yourself and you know what you want. I can’t imagine you wasting your time
on something you know
is
futile.”

 
     
He shrugged. “Believe it or not, it’s
true.”

 
     
“Tell me about it.” She gently prompted.

 
     
This was the part where he’d usually shut
down but for reasons he couldn’t explain he shared with her something he’d
never told another living soul, not even his grandfather. “When I was younger,
I was the new kid in school. Mind, you this was a special school that went from
kindergarten to twelfth grades. I didn’t start until I was around nine, so for
the most part most of kids who attended that school had known each other for a
while, and groups had been formed. Like most kids my age, I wanted to fit in.
There was a boy there, his name was David, who seemed like a nice kid,
at
least I thought so. But then things started happening,
he’d say nasty things around the other kids, steal things and blame it on me,
basically he was a bully in every sense of the word.”

 
     
“That sounds awful, James. This kid must
have been a real jerk.”

 
     
“That he was. But you see at that age, all
a kid really wants is to belong and I desperately wanted that, so I put up with
his antics for a couple years, even when I knew deep down this kid and his
friends would never accept me.” A lump formed in his throat as he recalled
those days when he was constantly reminded about his addict mother and how his
grandfather had been nothing more than a lowly gardener. At the time he would
laugh it off when the other kids teased him about it, not letting them see how
deeply their barbs had cut.

 
     
Noelle empathized with him. She knew what
it was like to be ostracized. “I’m guessing you got past that. How did you do
it?”

 
     
“I reached my breaking point. Sometimes
you have to be figuratively smacked on the head to eventually wake up. And I
did. I saw David for what he really was. I eventually did my own thing and the
teasing eased up some. By then I learned to be a little more cautious around
people.”

 
     
“Whatever happened to David?”

 
     
James smirked. “Oh, he’s having his just
desserts as we speak. Now it’s your turn. I shared with you and now you have to
answer my earlier question. Were you upset with what happened earlier?”

 
     
Noelle hesitated.  “I don’t want this
to turn into an argument.”

 
     
“Who’s arguing?”

 
     
“James, to be quite honest, I don’t know
how to act around you sometimes. I want to please you but I never know what
you’re thinking. I’m on pins and needles when you visit.”

 
     
This admission took him by surprise. He
knew this was no mere act no matter how he tried to convince himself otherwise.
James didn’t want to be the reason Noelle was in pain, but he didn’t twist her
arm to become his mistress. “If you didn’t please me, you’d know. But you never
really answered my question did you? You’re just dancing around the issue.”

 
     
“James, I think if I told you things would
never be the same between us again. Can’t we just put it down to me having a
bad day? Please?”

 
     
There was a desperate timbre to her voice.
Whatever it was Noelle didn’t want him to know he decided not to press.
Besides, he felt if he did force the issue it would break the warmth of this
unguarded moment between them. James knew once he let her go things would
return to the way they had been. He needed this moment and he suspected Noelle
did too. “Okay. Tell me something else, then. When I came by earlier I saw you
sketching something. I actually caught a glimpse of it and was very surprised.
I never knew how talented you we were.”