When Danger Follows (8 page)

“Surely you’ve had some good people in yours?”

“A few.”

“It’s nature that governs us here. It can be lethally unpredictable. You can’t let down your guard. I guess that toughens you up.”

“I’m certainly toughening up on the outside,” she said, thinking of her aching thighs and bottom after riding.

Harry grinned. “Shame.”

They reached the top of the hill. Harry pulled over to the side of the road and leapt out. “Come and see the view.”

She came to stand beside him. Burrawong was a tiny cluster of lights in the vast, black landscape. The canopy of brilliant stars overhead seemed so close she felt she could almost reach up and touch them.

He lit a cigarette.

Caitlin waved her hand to dispel the smoke.

He raised an eyebrow and turned to her, the moon showing his expression in sharp lines. “Caitlin,” he said softly. “I’d give it up for you. You bowled me over the day I first saw you back on that road.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Hot and scared.”

“I looked scared?”

“When you talk about being lonely, I don’t understand how someone like you could feel that way. I’ve been hoping you’d tell me what it is you’re running away from.”

She looked down at her hands. “I don’t seem to be able to right now, Harry.”

“Do you think you’ll get Jake out of your system soon? I’d like to get to know you. I’d like you to get to know me.”

“Jake’s taken, remember?”

“Doesn’t stop you loving someone, does it?”

“You just don’t allow yourself to.”

“That easy, huh?” He pinched the cigarette between thumb and index finger then tossed it away. Turning back to her, he said, “You’re free then?”

“Yes, I’m free, but Harry … I value your friendship. Can’t it just continue like that?”

Harry turned and headed back to the Jeep. She followed, regretting the moment had to end like this. He waited until she’d buckled up before he started the engine. “I guess I’ll have to settle for that, then.” He gave her a searching look. “Anytime you need a friend, for whatever reason, I’m not far away.”

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Chapter Nine

“Can I go riding tomorrow, Caitlin?” Elizabeth pressed her small body into Caitlin’s side.

“I don’t see why not, darling. Your ankle is so much better now. You and William can ride your ponies after lessons.” It had been three weeks since Elizabeth hurt her ankle and the children had been cooped up, restless and quarrelsome. She was running out of ideas to keep them entertained. But she was delighted to see Elizabeth’s appetite had improved and the sharp angles of her pixie face had softened.

As Caitlin helped Angela dish up the dinner, she noticed the table was set for five. Jake would be eating with them. The thought gave her a swift rush of pleasure, which she immediately tried to suppress.

“Daddy,” William said, jumping up as Jake walked into the room. “Toby’s sad. He’s missing me.”

“That pony of yours will be getting fat, Will. We can’t have that. You’ll have to give him a good run tomorrow. We’ve got the gymkhana coming up soon.”

“Had a good day, Caitlin?” Jake took off his hat and smoothed his dark hair, giving her a wry smile that told her he knew how difficult it had been. His smile never failed to make her catch her breath, and then she would go through all the reasons why she shouldn’t fool herself into thinking that they were becoming a family, or could ever be one. He’d taken several trips to Darwin lately and, although Vanessa hadn’t returned with him, Caitlin guessed a wedding was on the horizon.

Tall Trees was shorthanded and Jake worked long hours, down with the men during the day from dawn to dusk. He worked in his office until all hours of the night. But since the night Elizabeth went missing he’d made a practice of spending an hour or two with the children and dining with them.

“Aah. Roast chicken and mashed potato,” he said approvingly. “Wonderful choice, Angela.”

Caitlin smiled to herself. Angela was a capable but plain cook. Meals tended to be served on a rote basis. Roast chicken appeared every Thursday without fail.

“Now, don’t you go on,” Angela said, standing with her hands on her hips. “If you want French Cuisine, hire a French chef.”

Jake put an arm around her shoulders. “And trade in your excellent roast for a rich and fattening
Boeuf Bourguignon
? Never!”

“Go on with you,” Angela said, smiling as she deposited blobs of mashed potato on each plate.

“Drink after dinner, Caitlin?” Jake asked her.

Having a drink together after dinner in the sitting room was fast becoming a habit. The children watched television or played a board game, which gave her and Jake a chance to discuss their progress, but lately they’d begun to talk about other things. Caitlin was learning more about his past but so far had avoided telling him much about hers. She filled in the blanks as he told her how he’d been born in Utah, and spent his teenage years in Perth. He and Caroline met at high school.

Tall Trees had been in Caroline’s family since the first settlers arrived in Australia. When she and Jake were first married, Jake was managing a smaller property down south, then Caroline’s Dad retired and handed over the reins of Tall Trees to him. It was rundown and the reputation of the station and the quality of the export beef had suffered. The demands from Japan for prime beef were growing every day. Caitlin guessed Tall Trees would be a daunting task that some men might find almost overwhelming, but Jake seemed to embrace it as a great opportunity to build a future for his family. And, just as he was reaping the rewards of all his hard work, Caroline had been killed.

His sad loss struck a cord in Caitlin. She felt he was strong, though, both in body and mind. He would overcome most things that life threw at him. What she questioned was something that was really none of her business—could he ever fully commit to another woman?

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Chapter Ten

The gymkhana was held at a neighboring cattle station, one hundred kilometers away. Riley was to drive the children’s ponies in their float, and the family follow in Jake’s SUV.

“Dress up a bit, Caitlin,” Angela advised Caitlin. She wrinkled her nose. “These events are pretty fancy.”

“What do you mean by fancy, exactly?”

“All the toffs turn up at Springbroke station,” she said. “It’s the biggest event on the social calendar. People, who wouldn’t come up here for love nor money, make it for this event. Prince Charles has even been to Springbroke for the polo.”

Caitlin began to feel nervous. “What on earth can I wear?”

“Let’s have a look.”

In her room, Caitlin spread her clothes over the bedcover for Angela’s inspection. “I didn’t bring much with me.”

Angela began moving bits of clothing around. “Nothing
Designer
, anyway.”

It was such an incongruous remark for Angela to make, Caitlin almost giggled, but she saw Angela was serious and said quickly. “I didn’t think I’d need anything like that. I’ve never moved in those circles.”

“You’re lucky,” Angela said. “They all used to come here for weekends when Caroline was alive. Debauched lot if you ask me. Don’t know what Caroline and Jake saw in them. Wait, I have a dress that might fit you.”

She left the room. Caitlin began to feel nervous about what Angela would come up with. She hated being offered clothes and never felt quite herself in borrowed things.

Angela came back with an apple-green-and-white swirl-patterned chiffon dress. It had shoe-string straps and a wide, white belt. From a hat box, she produced a Garbo style, wide-brimmed hat. “This should fit you,” she said. “I’ve never worn it.”

“It’s fabulous,” Caitlin said, trying to hide her surprise. “But, I couldn’t.”

Angela’s brown eyes gleamed. “Of course you could. Go on Caitlin, try it on. I’ll be out in the kitchen.”

Minutes later Caitlin waltzed into the kitchen and twirled self-consciously around for the children. The dress could have been made for her. And, as luck would have it, her one pair of high-heeled white sandals went with it perfectly.

“Caitlin looks nice doesn’t she, kids?” Angela said, as if Caitlin was her very own creation. “That green goes with your eyes.”

“You look beautiful, Caitlin,” Elizabeth said in a breathy voice.

“Bootiful,” William echoed politely, without looking up from his toy train.

“Angela, this is such a great dress, I’d be nervous wearing it.”

“Nonsense, I’ll never wear it now.”

“Surely you bought it for a special occasion?”

She turned back to the sink. “It was a gift. I was going to wear it for my wedding in Fremantle, but that didn’t work out.”

Caitlin looked at her hunched back in the man’s shirt she seemed to favor these days. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Not sure I’d want to live in a city, anyway.” She began furiously peeling potatoes.

* * * *

It was still dark when they left for the gymkhana. Caitlin settled the children in the back of the SUV, tucked up with blankets and a pillow. It was quite cool in the early morning, and they had their electronic toys that would keep them absorbed for hours if she let them.

At the first beep, Jake said, “Put those away please, and get some more sleep. We have a busy day ahead.”

They settled down and it became quiet, apart from the noise of the tires and the hum of the engine. The four-wheel drive’s headlights penetrated into the darkness lighting up the rough road ahead.

“You packed their jodhpurs?” he asked.

“Yes.” She watched a kangaroo keep pace with them briefly before bounding away into the bush. A feeling of peace settled over her, something she hadn’t enjoyed for a long time. She stretched her jean-clad legs out, and thought about the lovely dress in its box in the boot that Angela had so generously provided. She was beginning to understand Angela. She was like a crunchy chocolate with a soft centre.

Angela peeped at Jake’s profile in the soft glow of the dashboard lights. He was another who seldom revealed his feelings, and she was learning more about him too, every day. The word that came to mind about Jake was ‘order.’ She suspected he kept to it rigidly because it made him feel he had control over his life and his emotions. It occurred to her that he may not have been like that when Caroline was alive. He was so close, if she reached out her hand and touched him, what would he do? She smiled at her ridiculous thoughts and closed her eyes.

“Talk to me, Caitlin,” he said, yawning.

“What would you like me to talk about?”

“Ireland. The differences you find here, other than the obvious ones.”

She sat up. “There’s something about this place, its isolation. It forces you to face … events in your life that are painful, to work through them.”

“And have you? Worked through them, I mean?”

“Not quite yet, but I will in time.”

“I’ve often wondered why you’d want to come here,” he said.

That he’d thought about her surprised and warmed her. “There’s not much to tell, really.”

“And, it’s none of my business, is it?” he asked, sensing her reluctance.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude.”

“Australia’s a hard country to adopt,” he said.

“Was it for you?” she asked, hoping to lead the conversation back to him.

“I was just a kid and kids tend to be more pliable. But it’s hard to rid yourself of that strong sense of place, where you feel you belong, don’t you think?”

“Sometimes it’s necessary to move on…” her voice drifted off. She couldn’t tell him about Max. Not now while he was in this cozy mood, to see him turn away from her repelled or worse, with pity? Jake was so different from Harry—more complex. She sighed. Why was she attracted to the wrong men?

He glanced at her then turned back to the road. “You’re supposed to be keeping me awake.”

Caitlin began to talk about her mother and growing up in Dublin. In the dim light, Jake’s face, so familiar to her now, made her heart pound. She tucked her hands between her thighs to control her restlessness. Her voice sounded calm to her ears, but inside, she was raging with desire to trace that scar on his cheek with her finger, the way he did when he was deep in thought. And to press her body against his and make him look at her as if she was so precious to him, he couldn’t live without her. Her face grew hot and she was glad the dark hid her thoughts from him. She was running out of amusing anecdotes, when the children began to stir and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m hungry,” William said.

Caitlin flipped off her seatbelt and leaned over the seat, grabbing the bag containing egg sandwiches, orange juice and a thermos of hot coffee made Angela-style, with tinned milk and sugar. Amazing how she was coming to like it that way.

“I’d like to hear more later,” Jake said. “You don’t get off so easily.”

That thought caused her stomach to twist painfully. She began to pour mugs of orange juice for the children. She tried to will her fingers to stop trembling. They always did when she thought of Max. She managed without spilling a drop and sat back relieved that Jake hadn’t noticed, as he drove on into the sunrise.

* * * *

The sun was high in the sky when they reached Springbroke station. The paddock relegated for parking was almost full of other four-wheel drives and horse floats. Caitlin wondered how far these people had come. Traveling great distances meant little to Outback dwellers. Jake went to check on the ponies and she headed up to the house with the children. They passed white marquees staked out like giant sails rippling in the hot wind on a sea of green lawn. Waiters dressed in black uniforms moved through the crowd topping up glasses of champagne and orange juice and offering plates of sandwiches and hot, bite-size foods.

The house sat on a rise above them. It was a long, two-story sandstock-brick building with a row of attic rooms in the roof, more modern than Tall Trees and almost twice its size. Jake had told her the owner made his money in mining. Even in this harsh, wild place, it was money that mattered, or the lack of it, from the Aboriginal workers in the stockyards up to the top of the tree—the incredibly rich magnates. On the columned porch they were greeted by a middle-aged woman wearing a hat laden with fruit and artificial flowers. Caitlin explained who she was and she directed them up the stairs to a playroom converted into a huge dormitory for the children. There were about twenty children of all ages there, clustered around a huge television screen, watching one of the latest animated films on DVD.