When Fangirls Lie (21 page)

Without waiting for his permission she immediately called Bob to tell him that Alan wouldn’t be able to dance for tonight’s concert – and maybe for the rest of the week. When she finished the call, he said abruptly, “Let’s go back.”

When he turned around, obviously intending to head back to the concert venue, a part of her wanted to leave him. If they went back, it would mean seeing Staffan again. But in the end, she went along, knowing that Alan needed her right now. She could always cry heartbroken tears later.

“Are you okay?” she asked after a short while.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

The humiliation in his voice made Saffi’s eyes burn and she shook her head at him. “Of course I had to. I couldn’t just let him beat you up!” She bit her lip. “I could see that you had no intentions of fighting him.”

“I feel ashamed.” Alan made the admission in a low whisper. “All my life I had a feeling he knew about who I am and he was just waiting for me to give him proof…so he could kill me.”

The way Alan tonelessly uttered the words made her hug him. “Alan, you don’t need to let him hurt you like that. It’s not right.”

He let out a bitter laugh. “Sapphire, not everything that’s right in this world is going to happen. If it did, then Staffan would have loved you back---” He broke off at the way Saffi paled. Alan cursed. “Shit, I’m sorry. Don’t listen to me.”

She managed a smile. “It
is
true.”

“No, fuck, it’s not. I’m sorry. I’m just bitter that I’m letting fear run---ruin---my life.” Alan raked a hand through his hair. “I
envy
you, Sapphire.”

Her eyes widened. “
What
?”

He nodded. “What you did – what you’re doing now, just to be with Staffan – I’ll never be able to do it.”

Her head hung low. “I’m pretending to be a groupie, Alan. That’s nothing to be proud about.”

Alan snorted. “It’s more than that. You’re taking a risk for the man you love – the most awful and stupidest risk, I grant you that---”

His words got a smile out of her.

“---but I have to say it, babe, you’ve got balls. More so than most men I know.”

She giggled, and the sound startled her because a while ago she had felt her world had already ended. Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them away. Alan was right. She had taken a risk. And she would keep taking those risks as long as there was a hope of getting Staffan to love her back.

She squeezed his hand. “Alan, thanks for those words. I was…depressed a while ago but you made me see the brighter side of things.”

“That’s what gay friends are for.”

They both laughed.

Alan sobered. “But Sapph? I did hear before that you were getting engaged…”

Saffi paled. “It’s not official, but I did say ‘yes’. If everyone thinks it’s a good idea…” She looked down. “I just want a chance to make back for what happened---”

“It wasn’t your fault!”

“It would have been better if I really was as crazy as everyone I thought I was back then. At least if I was crazy I wouldn’t have known how awful it was for my family when they saw that video--–then everyone was talking about me afterwards, and the controversies, the scandals that followed---I’m the reason my dad lost that time.”

“It was a cruel prank, but it wasn’t the truth,” Alan protested vehemently. “We were directly or indirectly cruel to you, and we are the ones to blame. We caused your dad to lose---”

“It hurt them a lot, Alan, and I just want to do something to make that hurt go. Getting engaged to Jeremy Raybourne would make that happen, and I was all for that until…this.”

“If Staffan is in love with you---”

She said very simply, “I’m his.”

But it wasn’t going to be that easy.

When they reached the concert venue, screams greeted them. The number of fans lined up for the concert had grown exponentially since Saffi had left, with the entire lobby already packed. And right in the middle of it was a makeshift stage, with a beautiful, sexy and devilishly smiling Staffan surrounded by five sexy and exquisitely pretty girls.

She felt herself turning white as Staffan locked gazes with hers – just before he kissed each girl one at a time. But when he reached the last one, he didn’t bend down. He took her hand instead.

No!

Saffi could see herself in that girl. Physically, they didn’t have a thing in common. The other girl was tall, blond, and blue eyed, with an engaging and confident smile. But her eyes were shining the way Saffi knew hers did.

Staffan pulled the girl close for a scorching-hot open-mouthed kiss.

No.

No, please, no.

But it wasn’t a dream. Or – it was a fangirl’s dream. It used to be her dream until she had fallen in love with Staffan.

Saffi broke into a run when she saw Staffan leading the girl off the stage, leaving his fans screaming deliriously in his wake. She didn’t care who she was shoving out of her way. All she knew was that she had to get to him before he did something they would both regret.

“Staffan!” she screamed just as he walked towards the hall leading to his dressing room. She would die before she’d let them go in there together. She knew what could happen inside Staffan’s dressing room and she just couldn’t---

“Staffan, please!”

Staffan stiffened at the broken sound of Saffi’s voice, but he forced himself to ignore it, telling himself it was all part of her act.

“Staffan!” She sobbed his name out this time, willing herself to run faster but the few feet that separated them seemed like a huge gaping cliff that she could never cross – not without his help. Saffi knew Staffan had heard her but he still didn’t look her way. Instead, he nodded at his security personnel while talking to Bob, who immediately shook his head.

Staffan spoke again, and this time Bob became stoic looking.

“Staffan!” She was just a step away this time, and she reached out, her hand shaking, only to find the entire security force blocking her away, a grim-faced Bob appearing behind them.

Saffi couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Bob?” she asked shakily.

“I’m sorry, H. The boss says you’re not to approach him while he’s…” He swallowed.

“Bob, you must have misunderstood,” she whispered. “Please, Bob, I just need to talk to him.”

He shook his head.

“Bob,
please
.”

“Don’t make me say it, H. Just let things lie low.”

Dread skittered across her spine, but she still forced herself to meet Bob’s gaze. “Make you say what?”

Bob was the first one to look away. “The boss says you can approach him if you’re willing to…” He suddenly cursed. “Don’t make me say it, H.”

“Bob, please, I need to see him, I’ll do anything---”

“He says you can get in but only if you’re willing to do it with him…and the other girl.”

Her mind reeled, the vicious reality behind those words making her heart ache even worse than her broken ribs.
This was a test. This was Staffan pushing her away. This was another risk she had to take.

She closed her eyes, praying for strength, surrounding herself with the warmth of the memories she shared with Staffan. When she opened her eyes, she was able to smile at Bob. “Take me there then.”

Bob cursed once more. “Are you serious? I’m not kidding---”

“Neither am I,” she said firmly. When she’d get to his dressing room, Staffan would be waiting for her. He wouldn’t be doing anything to the girl. He would listen to her, and everything would be all right again.

Realizing that she was not going to budge on this, Bob reluctantly ordered his security team to let her through. “This is not going to go well, H,” he muttered as they entered the backstage area. He stopped walking when he noticed how much difficulty she had moving. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, not knowing that her face had gone white with the pain she was forced to endure with every step she took. She supposed she needed to see a doctor right away, but
this –
what she could have with Staffan – was more important than a few broken ribs.

“I just had a little accident. You know how clumsy I am,” she lied.

Bob reluctantly resumed walking. “You will regret this, H. It’s not too late to turn back---”

“It will be fine, Bob.” She added simply, “I love him.”

Bob wanted to kill himself after that. “H, listen to me. This is not what you want to see. He’s in a black mood for some reason and---”

They stopped in front of Staffan’s dressing room door. “Bob,” she said very softly, “Be honest with me. When you see Staffan and me together, did you ever think I was special to him?”

The optimism shining in Saffi’s gaze was almost ethereal, and he mentally cursed his employer for doing something that was sure to take those stars out of Saffi’s eyes. This girl
was
special---in every way, a breath of fresh air that no evil could pollute.

Unable to deny the truth, not when Saffi was looking at him so expectantly, Bob admitted grudgingly, “Yes, you do seem special to him.” He frowned then, adding warningly, “But tonight’s different. He’s gone crazy.”

“He doesn’t want to get hurt again after what happened. I know that. We all know that, and I’m willing to wait until he’s ready to trust again.” She smiled at him. “Wish me luck?”

“I’ll even give you my lifetime’s worth if it will help, H,” he said as he slowly opened the door.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped past Bob.

“Staffan---” Her voice broke down.

No, please, no, this couldn’t be real. It couldn’t.

But it was.

Staffan was only wearing his pants, his chest laid bare, shirt thrown on the floor---together with the rest of the other girl’s clothes. She was moaning softly in Staffan’s arms, obviously in the throes of pleasure as Staffan fucked her with his fingers.

His head twisted over his shoulder, his smile blindingly beautiful but now it didn’t leave her warm. It made her cold instead, and she limped back from the sight of it, clutching her side as her entire body ached in pain at what he was doing.

“Care to join us, H?”

She shook her head wildly. “Stop it, Staffan---” To her surprise, he did stop, but when he turned around, Staffan slowly brought his wet fingers to his mouth and sucked them dry.

Saffi moved another step back, her side hitting the door as she stumbled and twisted halfway to avoid looking at Staffan. She cried out, that split-second contact between the door and her ribs sending a wave of shattering pain to her body. Even so, it was nothing compared to the hurt that Staffan was inflicting on her – was still inflicting with every second he allowed the other girl to stay in the room with them.

“What’s wrong, H? This should be normal procedure for you.”

“No. It’s not. So stop it. Leave her.” She covered her face with her hands, not wanting to see anything. But Staffan was suddenly there, forcibly pulling her hands down. Eyes open again, she couldn’t help seeing him half naked---and seeing the other girl completely bare.

“Pretending to be shy, baby?” he jeered, his skin crawling at utter loathing with how great an actress she was. How could he believe her hurt over what she had seen when she could do the same to him with Carson?