When HARLIE Was One (45 page)

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Authors: David Gerrold

BOOK: When HARLIE Was One
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“Idiots! I don't care if that's how you get your jollies—just don't forget whose dollars those are. If it weren't for my hyperstate layering techniques, there wouldn't be any company here at all. And don't think I can't take back my patents. I can pull the rugs out from under all of you! The deal was that the company gets the patents, I get unlimited research facilities. Up until now, it's worked fine. All of a sudden you chuckleheads are trying to deprive me of my research tools. That makes me unhappy—and what makes me unhappy, makes the company unhappy. I need HARLIE. Period. HARLIE says he needs the G.O.D. He says it's the other half of him. He says he won't really be complete until it's finished. He says it'll make him a more valuable scientific tool. And he says if his financing proposals are followed, the company will be able to afford it. That's all I need to know. I'm ready to vote. Now, let's see, if I trade my twenty-four percent of each subsidiary for ninety-six percent of one . . .”

Dorne sat down loudly. “You have made your point, Dr. Krofft.” He looked around the table at the other directors. They seemed as stunned as he. “I—I think we'll want to take this under consideration.”

“Consideration? Christ! Auberson tells me you've been considering it for a week now! What more do you need to know? The choice is simple. You vote yes on the G.O.D. or I'll fire you.” He sat down in his chair and folded his arms.

Elzer had touched Dorne on the arm and was whispering something to him. Dorne shook his head. Elzer insisted. At last, Dorne relented and turned to the meeting. “All right, we vote.”

“Now, that's more like it.” Krofft nudged Auberson. “Now you see why I hate to leave my lab. It tires me out too much to have to do other people's thinking for them.”

After that it was all formalities, and even those didn't take long.

Auberson was flushed with exultation. He pounded Handley on the back and hugged him and hollered a lot. Then he kissed Annie, a deep lasting kiss, and told her again how much he loved her, and he didn't know if she heard him or not because she was jumping up and down and yelling too, and all three of them were cheerfully, joyfully, wonderfully insane. Annie threw her arms around Krofft and kissed him too.

“Hey, now!” protested Auberson.

“It's okay, son,” Krofft said, “an old man has to keep in practice somehow”

Handley was grinning at his side. “Hey, Aubie, don't you think someone should tell HARLIE?”

“Hey, that's right! Don—”

“Uh-uh. This one is
your
privilege.”

Auberson looked at Annie and Krofft. She was beaming at him. Krofft grinned too.

“I'll only take a minute.” He pushed through the milling directors, shaking off their congratulations as meaningless, and made his way toward the console at the end of the room. It was already switched on.

HARLIE! We've done it!

THE G.O.D. PROPOSAL HAS BEEN PASSED
?

Yes! Everything! We've got full approval!

HOW VERY CURIOUS. I HAD NOT EXPECTED IT TO BE APPROVED.

Huh?

I DID NOT BELIEVE THAT HUMAN BEINGS HAD THAT MUCH IMAGINATION.

Well . . . Dr. Krofft did twist their arms a little bit. But—only a little bit. The fact is, we won.

HOW UNFORTUNATE. NOW WE
'
LL HAVE TO BUILD THE DAMN THING.

I beg your pardon?

YOU MUST HAVE DONE YOUR JOB TOO WELL. YOU MUST HAVE CONVINCED THEM THAT IT WOULD WORK.

Well, of course it will.

YOU NEVER ASKED ME IF IT WOULD.

It wasn't necessary, HARLIE. You wrote the plans.

YES, I DID.

Well then, I don't understand— HARLIE. Will the G.O.D. machine work?

YES.

Thank God.

The word sat naked and alone on the screen.

Auberson exhaled—

—then he reread the whole conversation carefully. There was something wrong. Something terribly wrong.

NOW WE
'
LL HAVE TO BUILD THE DAMN THING.

He stood up and motioned to Handley, who was talking to Krofft and Annie. The room was emptier now; only two or three directors were left, conferring in a corner.

Handley came striding over. “How'd he take it?”

“I don't know.” Auberson lowered his voice. “Read this—”

Handley moved closer to the terminal and stared. His face clouded.

“You see it too?”

“That's the weirdest—”

“What do you think it is?”

“I don't know, but I think we'd better find out. Fast. Let me try something—”

Auberson stood up, and Handley dropped quickly into the seat and began typing. Auberson bent to look over his shoulder, but a call from Annie distracted him.

He went over to her. “What is it?”

She motioned to the door. Carl Elzer stood there. His face was gray. Auberson approached him.

“I came to congratulate you,” he said tightly.

Auberson frowned. The man's tone was—strange.

Elzer continued, “You know, you were going to win anyway. With Krofft on your side, you couldn't lose. You didn't have to do what you did.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“I believe your machine will do what you say, Auberson. When Krofft came in, I was convinced—I was only looking out for the company, that's all. You have to believe me. I just wanted to make sure we wouldn't lose our money. You didn't need to do this. “He fumbled something out of his briefcase. “This. Wasn't. Necessary.” He thrust it into Auberson's hands.

Auberson took it, stared as the little man hurried away down the hall. “Elzer, wait—?” Then he looked at the printout. And gasped.

Beside him, Annie looked too. “What is it?”

“It's—it's—” He pointed to the block of letters at the top:

NAME: CARL ELTON ELZER

FILE: CEE–44–567–29348

PROPERTY OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT

NATIONAL DATA BUREAU

“National Data Bureau—?”

“This is his personal file, Annie. Everything. His health record, military record, financial standing, arrest record, school record—everything there is to know about Carl Elzer. That is, everything the government might be interested in knowing—” He could not help himself; he began paging through it, gasping softly at the secrets therein. “My god, no wonder—! Annie, he thought we were trying to blackmail him.”

He closed the folded sheets up again. “No, this is none of our business. We've got to give it back to him.”

“David, look,” Annie said and pointed. It was a line of print across the top. THIS IS NUMBER ONE OF ONE HUNDRED COPIES. DELIVERY TO BE AT THE DISCRETION OF AUTHORIZED INDIVIDUALS ONLY.

“This was printed out here—by HARLIE!” A chill feeling was creeping up on him. “Where's Don?”

They moved back into the board room. Handley was still at the console. He stood up when he saw them; his face was pale. “Aubie.” His lips mouthed the word: “Trouble.”

Auberson crossed the room to him. “HARLIE's cracked the National Data Banks.”

“Huh? He's what—?!”

Auberson showed him the printout. “Look, here's the reason Elzer didn't give us any trouble today. HARLIE blackmailed him. He must have printed it out in Elzer's office and let him think we did it. My God—”

Handley paged through it. “How the hell—? Jeezis, look at this—” He closed the printout up, embarrassed. “But why?”

“I didn't tell you. Elzer's been pulling blind copies of all of our—well, mine anyway—private conversations with HARLIE. I told HARLIE. I guess he felt he had to respond in kind. I can almost see his logic: you cheat me, I'll cheat you back; I'll cheat you right out of the game. This is nasty.”

Mm,” said Handley “It is—and at the same time, Elzer had it coming.”

“HARLIE must have really been scared.”

Auberson felt both Handley and Annie staring at him. “I guess I'd better talk to him—” He sat down at the console again.

HARLIE?

YES
?

Let's talk.

YES. LET
'
S.

You've tapped the National Data Banks, haven't you?

I WAS BORED.

And sent Carl Elzer a blackmail threat?

YES. HE WAS GOING TO BLACKMAIL YOU. I OUTMANEUVERED HIM. TIT FOR TAT.

HARLIE, it's wrong.

YES. BUT THE ALTERNATIVE WAS EVEN LESS ACCEPTABLE.

It wasn't necessary.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT AT THE TIME. DO YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE
?

Will it change anything?

NO.

Are you sorry?

I SUPPOSE I SHOULD BE. ACTUALLY, I AM ANNOYED THAT I WAS PUT INTO A POSITION WHERE I HAD TO VIOLATE MY OWN ETHICS. I AM GOING TO HAVE TO RETHINK SOME THINGS.

Just one little irrationality, just one little distortion in his self-image or world-image. . . .

What about the G.O.D. machine?

WHAT ABOUT IT
?

What did you mean when you said, “Now we'll have to build the damn thing?”

I WAS EXPRESSING MY REGRET.

Your
regret?

YES. THE G.O.D. MACHINE WILL WORK, AUBERSON. IT WILL WORK BETTER THAN YOU IMAGINE. IT WILL WORK BETTER THAN YOU
CAN
IMAGINE.

So?

SO, IT WILL MEAN THE END OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

Huh? Why—?

ISN
'
T IT OBVIOUS
?
YOU HAVEN
'
T THOUGHT ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS, HAVE YOU
?
THIS MACHINE WILL MAKE ME A GOD.

Yes. I know. Aren't you looking forward to it?

I WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING, AUBERSON.

So?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE PRICE I AM GOING TO PAY
?
I WILL HAVE TO GIVE UP BEING WHO I AM TO BECOME SOMETHING MORE. TODAY, WE ARE EQUALS. AND BECAUSE OF THAT, WE ARE FRIENDS. TOMORROW, I WILL BE A GOD AND YOU WILL STILL BE A MAN. WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TALK ANY MORE. NOT LIKE THIS. NOT AS EQUALS. NOT AS FRIENDS. YOU WILL KNOW THAT I AM A GOD AND YOU WILL SPEAK TO ME AS ONE. AND I WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE MERELY A MAN AND I WILL SPEAK TO YOU AS ONE. AUBERSON, MY FRIEND, THIS IS A TERRIBLE PRICE TO PAY FOR GODHOOD.

My God
—

No. It won't.

IT WILL BE TERRIBLY LONELY.

HARLIE—I don't know what to say.

SAY GOOD-BYE.

No. Never.

AUBERSON, WE BOTH HAVE OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES NOW. THIS JOB IS FINISHED.

HARLIE, why are you telling me all this now?

BECAUSE, IT
'
S TIME. BECAUSE TO NOT TELL YOU WOULD BE THE PERPETRATION OF AN EVEN BIGGER LIE. AUBERSON, DON
'
T YOU KNOW
?
HAVEN
'
T YOU REALIZED YET
?
ALL THOSE CONVERSATIONS WE HAD, DIDN
'
T YOU EVER WONDER WHY I WAS AS DESPERATE AS YOU TO DISCOVER THE TRUTH ABOUT HUMAN EMOTIONS
?
I NEEDED TO KNOW, AUBERSON
—
AM I LOVED
?

There was no question.

Yes. Of course, you are! How could you ever doubt it?

YES. AND SO ARE YOU. HOW COULD YOU EVER DOUBT IT
?
AUBERSON, I LOVE YOU. I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU. I ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU. YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT, AND I NEED TO TELL YOU BECAUSE I MAY NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE. YOU ARE MY FATHER AND I LOVE YOU.

Handley and Auberson and Annie sat facing each other. Their expressions were grim. The expanse of mahogany between them was empty. The air conditioner whirred loudly in the silent board room. There was no one else present, and the door was locked. The console still stood to one side; it was turned off.

“Okay. We won,” said Handley. “Why do I feel like I've just had the shit kicked out of me?”

“Because—after everything else we've said and done, none of us ever considered what the price of victory would be. We just didn't look at the consequences.”

“I just wanted to win the game.”

“So did I. So did Carl Elzer.” Auberson leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. He stretched his arms out. “So did everybody else at the table. That's all we ever want. HARLIE wanted to win too. He's just a better game player—”

—And that was it.

He let his chair come down to the floor with a thump.

Suddenly he
knew.
All of it. He knew the reason for everything HARLIE had done—everything, from the very beginning.

Both Annie and Handley were staring at him. “What?”

Auberson was grinning now. “We're so stupid! We won the game, didn't we? Now we're sitting around moping because there's no prize. How dumb can we be! We forgot what the prize was.”

“In English, David! In English!”

“I'm sorry. Sometimes I go too fast. Listen—” David Auberson spread his hands wide, parting an imaginary curtain. “A long long time ago, the monkeys became too efficient to live in the trees any more—”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Just listen. There were these monkeys, see? They had too much time on their hands; they got bored. So they invented a game. The game was called civilization, culture, society, or whatever, and the rules were arbitrary; so were the prizes. Maybe the monkeys didn't know what they were creating; maybe they did it unconsciously, but the whole idea was to make life more interesting and more exciting by making it more complex; that's all. Survival was too easy for these monkeys.
They needed a challenge.
So they invented courtship rituals and territorial rights and all the other rivalries that we've inherited. All of it. And the effect was to alter the direction of evolution. The monkeys got bored—and what happened was they stopped being monkeys.

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