When Karma Comes To Call (16 page)

I gasp, stunned. “What?”

“Said he couldn’t let him destroy everything he’d fixed while your old man was in. I think it’d be a contingency plan for a while, ’cause his men just went along with it,” Arsen explains.

I can’t say I’m surprised. He treated people like shit. “Did he ...” I swallow to speak around the lump in my throat. “Was it drawn out?”

“No, babe, it was swift.”

I lay back on the bed.

“Where’s your head at?” Chase asks, propping herself up on her elbow beside me.

“I don’t know.” The glorious warmth I felt moments before is gone. I’m cold from the inside out. There will be no reconciliation between us. Staring at the ceiling I retreat inside myself. There was goodness in him. Maybe it was lost along the way, or reserved solely for me.
Until you went against him. That’s not love. Real love doesn’t need to control everything.
A war wages in my mind. Who was the real Jeff Good? Did I do everything in vain? Was I some desperate little girl seeking her father’s love any way she could? That’s the real fucked up part. I went along with him because I didn’t want to be where my mother was. Tears spill from my eyes and I let them roll down my face.

“My family’s gone.” My voice cracks and my chest aches.

“Hey, you got more family than you know what to do with. You’re, Dueling Devils, babe. It’s more than a title,” Arsen says. He leans down and wipes away my tears. “Don’t shed a tear over that motherfucker. His problems bleed over onto you. You never asked for them or caused them. You did what you had to as a kid to survive. Don’t ever be sorry for that.”
If only it was that easy.

“I know it’s going to take time to get over this, but we’re here for you.” Chase kisses my lips gently. “Neither of us is going anywhere.”

I place my arm over my eyes and sob for all the fucked up things in my head. The hole in my heart, and the lingering voice in my head that claims I’ll never deserve this. When I’m all cried out, I wiggle free of the two bodies flanking me and walk to the bathroom.

“Where you going, K?” Arsen asks.

“Shower,” I reply, ready to be alone with my thoughts.

Beneath the spray I bow my head and work shampoo through my curls. The time consuming task is familiar and allows me to think things through. I’ve been down this road—letting guilt and grief lead me to do things I’d regret. Acting out wouldn’t bring back my father. If I’m honest, I know he wasn’t the best father. But he was all I had.
I will not go back to that dark place. I have too much to lose.
I finish my hair routine and step out, grateful that Chase and Arsen had given me space. It’s a learning process maneuvering your way in a relationship with two others. The bedroom is clear and I can smell the aroma of freshly baked goods. After tossing on a pair of cut-offs and a white tank top, I walk into the kitchen.

“I made your favorite,” Chase says.

The pile of pancakes and strawberry sauce make my mouth water. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to.” Chase smiles at me, warming me a little on the inside.

“You got your head on straight?” Arsen asks. His voice is gruff and his brow is furrowed. I sit at the bar on the stool beside him.

“I’m solid. Hurting, but clear-headed,” I respond. His mannerisms seems brisk, but I get it. Much like a military wife, my actions are a reflection on him.

“Anything you need. Let me know,” Arsen says.

“I will.”

He runs his hand down my back and I can’t help but fall a little more for him knowing the gesture was for my benefit.

“Arsen?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I love you.”

His lips quirk up. “Right back at you, girl.”

I tilt my head back and he fists my hair, kissing me until the world falls away and the only thing that exists is the man in front of me. We pull back for air and I sigh. “Love you, too, Chase,” I say breathlessly.

Her throaty chuckle envelopes me, wrapping me in its magical wispy wings.

“Love you, too, Karma girl. You and Arsen … you showed me what I could have again.”

I look at her and our gazes lock. We’re all damaged goods, but together we’re healing, and forging our own path. This is only the beginning of what I know will be a long future. I’m Karma Good, making a comeback with the support of a MC, my new family behind me. I have the two people I love most at my side. How can I give up now? It won’t be easy, but I’ve never shied away from a task because it was difficult. Finally I’m grabbing life with both hands and risking it all. They’ve seen the ugliness inside of me and accepted me all the same. I’m theirs now as they are mine, and I wouldn’t have any other way.