When Lightning Strikes (18 page)

I laughed. “God, I love you.”

She pulled me into a hug. “So, remember, no panties when you put on your ‘fuck ‘em’ dress.”

I frowned.

“You can do this.” Reason finished.

I sighed heavily. “Okay. Okay. I just, I—I have to find the right time.”

She pursed her lips. “Yeah, you do that.”

We walked outside the building to see an angry Ryker leaning against his SUV. I turned to give Reason a pointed look.

“On second thought, maybe you should wait a bit.” Reason angled toward her SUV. “I… gotta go.” She hightailed it away, leaving me watching Ryker.

“This is going to be fun.” I sighed heavily, walking past Rip and Jackal with my head held high. Ryker held the door open without a word. I slid in, scooting to the farthest end of the back seat. Ryker got in and slammed the door. I drummed my fingers impatiently. He looked at me neutrally but didn’t utter a word. He didn’t have to… I could feel his anger seeping out of his pores. His anger mixed with disappointment.

Wait… emotions?

I’d never felt anyone’s emotions but humans. This thing… this connection between us was redefining everything about me and my powers. I looked out of the window, trying to sort out this mess, but the silence dragged on way too long and it was killing me.

“Nothing to say?” I asked.

He stared at me silently.

I looked at him uncomfortably.

“That was irresponsible and reckless,” he stated calmly. Yet his emotions were translating something completely different. Anger. Disappointment. Then a wall went up and I felt absolutely nothing. He shut me out intentionally.

Hurt, I verbally attacked. “Why didn’t you tell me Celina hired Greco to break into our safe? Or about the Shadows’s connection?”

“I told Lia and Ava. That was enough,” he commented curtly.

“But you didn’t tell me. Why?”

“Because I knew you would do some impulsive, irresponsible shit to get yourself in trouble.” He looked at me pointedly. “You have Shadows actively hunting for you and you’re traipsing around Manhattan like it doesn’t mean shit.”

My lips tightened. “I can handle myself.”

He scoffed. “That’s not the damn point.” He glared. “The point is you knew what could happen if the Shadows got their hands on you. And it didn’t occur to you to come to me and ask for help.” His mouth tightened. “Or worse, it did occur to you. And you chose not to. Now what does that say about us? Not much, if you ask me.”

“I’m not stupid. And I can defend myself.” I paused. “You know what? I’m tired of this shit. You tell me you want something real with me. In essence, you want me to trust you. But guess what? Getting my trust starts with telling me the truth.”

“I’ve always told you the truth.”

I jabbed him in the chest with a finger. “Really? So did you fuck her?”

His eyes narrowed. “Can you be more specific? There’s been a lot of ‘hers.’”

I was appalled and confused at his behavior and cool tone. I wanted to smack the arrogance off his face. “Celina Rouse,” I gritted out.

“Don’t know her,” he responded matter-of-factly.

I saw red. He was a liar. All men were fucking liars. Flashes of every time Nolan lied about the numbers on his cell zipped through my head. I dug into my bag and threw Celina’s cell at his head. He caught it mid-air.

“Your number is on her cell. Remember now?” I sneered.

Rip pulled into the underground garage. He and Jackal sat there waiting. Ryker calmly placed the cell on the seat between us.

“I’ll see you two upstairs,” Ryker snapped, waiting as they exited. “First, I’m not a liar. And I damn sure would never lie to you. Secondly, I didn’t know Celina.”

I arched a brow. I was trying to tread carefully, but it wasn’t working.

“Let me finish before you start spinning a fucked-up story in your head.” He paused. “When I became Alpha, she called me, offering her services to me as some kind of freebie fuck. I declined. But that didn’t stop her from calling. She’d even show up uninvited at events I attended. But nothing happened. She was way too pushy and not my type.”

My eyes narrowed. “Why would she call you? Our escorts have an exclusive contract with us. And they work the clients we present.”

“That’s what I thought, but she said she free-lanced from time to time.”

My mind reeled. Did Celina steal our client list to set up shop for herself? “How did she get your number?”

“She said a business colleague.”

“The first time you executed your contract, you specifically requested Celina for Knox.”

He frowned. “When I was thinking about getting an escort for Knox as a birthday gift, she came highly recommended by Noah. I didn’t care. I wanted Knox’s first introduction to sex with a female shifter to be memorable. That’s it.”

“The same Noah you saw on the video footage having a secret meeting?” I didn’t have a good feeling about this. “This still doesn’t explain why there’s an incoming call from you.” I handed him her cell.

“What?” He scowled before scrolling through her incoming calls. “I never called her.”

“That’s your number.”

“So now I’m like every man who fucked you over? You want to shove me away?”

I was momentarily speechless. My heart was racing, fighting the fear and the tears. He knew too much; his words cut too deep. “Don’t make this about us.”

He glared. “I’m sorry, tell me how this isn’t about us?” He growled, opening the door. “I can’t be here right now.” He exited the car.

I sighed, refusing to try to stop him. Sliding out, I leaned against the car, waiting for him to walk away… again.

His face tightened like he knew exactly what I was thinking. “I never called her. I never fucked her. You either believe me or you don’t.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I think you should know what kind of person you’re dealing with.”

One part of me wanted him to fight… for me, for us. The other part of me was afraid he actually would. “This conversation is over.” I turned on my heels, walking away.

“Light. Stop.” He grabbed my arm.

I swung around. “First. Don’t touch me.” I raised a trembling finger. My emotions were raw, scattered. I honestly didn’t know what I wanted anymore. And like a coward, I was too afraid to figure it out. “Second. Don’t touch me.”

“They will try to kidnap you again. And if you don’t care about that, at least think about how that’s going to affect the people who love you. Do you really want to put your mother and aunt through that? And what about Storm?”

My heart raced. “And what about you, Ryker?”

He shrugged his wide shoulders. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. I’m your protector and your friend,” he grunted.

It’s definitely not what I was expecting. My jaw dropped. “Is that what we are? Friends?”

Friends?
That was like the kiss of fucking death. He might as well say he was no longer interested in being with someone like me.

“I don’t know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. I stick my finger in your pussy, but we never talk about it. We almost fuck, but we never talk about it. So I’ve got no clue what we are.” His jaw tightened. “But I know I don’t want to see you walk away from me!”

I shoved him. “Yeah, well, watch me.” I stormed past him, but he wasn’t done.

“This is about you needing a place to hide.”

It took me a second to respond. His words hurt more than I thought. I stopped, turning back to him. “You don’t know me, Ryker. You think you do, but you don’t.”

“I know enough to know you hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don’t love. You could be happy, Light. You deserve to be happy. But you’re afraid.”

My pulse raced, but I didn’t move. “You know what we are, Ryker? We are over. Now leave me the fuck alone.”

He stared at me coldly. “Your wish is my command, Light.”

A
N HOUR LATER,
I
SAT
in the serene environment of the private meditation terrace overlooking lower Manhattan. I sighed, dialing the one person I wanted to talk to right now. “Storm?”

“Is everything all right? Light? Talk to me.” Storm's voice was husky from sleep.

I paused. “Is Knox there?”

“Yeah, but he’s sleeping. Finally. Jeezus, the man is a sex machine. I feel like I rode a horse.”

I laughed. “Well, you know what they say. Ride a wolf-shifter, save a horse.”

Storm muffled her snicker. “Stop, you’re going to make me wake him up.”

Knox grumbled in the background. “I’m not sleeping. I’m giving you time to recoup for round three.”

Storm groaned. “Go to sleep, Knox.”

“Sounds like you have it hard… literally,” I pointed out playfully.

I heard scuffling and a door slam.

“Light? Sorry. I had to escape the room. Plus, I can hear in your voice that you really want to talk.” She paused. “What’s going on? Issues with Ryker?”

“No. No issues.” I curled my legs under me, enjoying the rooftop deck space with brilliant 360-degree views of Manhattan. “Nothing a couple of shots of Patrón can’t resolve.”

“Uh-huh.”

I groaned. “Okay, the man is making me crazy.”

“Ryker?”

“Yes, Storm. Ryker. What the hell! Keep the fuck up.”

“Uh-huh.”

“What does that mean?”

“Reason told me everything. And I know you like him, a lot.”

I sputtered. “I don’t like him. He’s an arrogant asshole with a stick lodged up his ass sideways.”

“So tell me what’s really going on.”

I wiped my now damp forehead. Dammit, I needed to keep it together. And even though I hadn't seen him since our argument, I could still sense him somewhere at the other end of the penthouse. I pressed my fingers along my temple, trying to ease the pressure from the stress. It didn’t work. There was one person who could do that now, and he was not my ideal choice for the job.

“Just stressed,” I responded flatly, curling up into the plush cushions.

“Uh-huh. I can tell you’re hiding something.” She paused. “First, start explaining why our mental connection didn’t help relieve your pain.”

I sighed, hesitating to give voice to my worst fears. “You’ve been replaced.”

Storm was silent.

“Did you hear me? When I was around Detective Prick, it was erringly silent when Ryker touched me. I felt nothing. No irritating human emotions. Just…” I swallowed hard. “Calm.”

Storm cleared her throat. “Oh my God! Ryker is your mate?” she hissed. “Demi was right about the prophecy? She’s never right.”

I rolled my eyes. “Surprise. She got this right.”

“So what’s the problem? Zone in on the shifter and make him yours.”

“It’s not going to work.”

“Bullshit. You’re upset.”

“No.” I paused. “Yes. I fucked up and now it seems like he’s pulling away.”

“Have you asked him why?”

“I know why. I pushed him away.”

“You’re afraid he’ll reject you because you’re an empath,” Storm stated.

“No!” I blurted out too forcefully. “No. What?” I sighed. “Why would you even say that?” I continued. “That’s not even the point.”

“Then tell me. What’s the point, Light? Because I don’t understand a damn thing you’re saying right now.” She paused. “He balances you, wants you, but you pushed him away.”

I hated how she always had a way of cutting to the chase. “Wait, what? What—what do you mean?”

“When he asked you to give the relationship a chance, what did you say?”

“I wasn’t ready to hear it then.”

Storm sighed. “What do you think he’s telling you with his behavior?”

I paused to think. “That… maybe… he’s changed his mind?” I slumped in the chair, sighing heavily. “What if I waited too long?”

“You weren’t waiting, Light. You were making sure you could give him what he needs… all of you.”

“Yeah, but in the meantime, he’s moved on.”

“Or he’s protecting himself by not taking any more emotional risks.”

“So what do I do?” I bit my lower lip. “I’m going to his charity gala with him tonight.”

“What do you want to do?”

My heart raced. Time for the truth. “He scares the shit out of me. He’s the one man who changes everything I thought I knew about myself.” He was the one man who stripped away my mask and laid me out bare and vulnerable. “I’ve spent my whole life building a fortress and defending myself from being hurt again.”

“Listen to me. Tell Ryker you’re an empath.”

“No.”

“I can’t force you, but I’m done with secrets and walking on egg shells. Look at what it almost got me. If I had been upfront with Knox about the Credence Curse, I would have avoided that whole nasty incident with Luke. And maybe he wouldn’t be running loose right now. So you think about that.”

I was silent.

Storm continued. “Tell him. Believe me, I know it’s scary putting your heart out there, but he’s worth it.”

“Yeah, until he knows I’m sick. Wolf-shifters run away from the weak or take advantage of it.” My lips pursed, remembering what Nolan did to me. I didn’t know where he began and I ended. It was sick and twisted and the thought filled me with rage and queasiness.