When the Snow Fell (7 page)

There was something frightening about her standing out there in the night. Joel had the feeling that he was looking at the last person left alive in the world. This
must be what the doomsday that Miss Nederström kept going on about looked like. The last person alive was standing underneath a streetlamp, late at night in an insignificant little northern Swedish town.

Joel couldn’t imagine greater loneliness than this.

Then it was clear to him that he would have to go down and fetch her. No human being could be allowed to be as lonely as she seemed to be. He put on a pair of pants, and a sweater over his pajamas, and forced his bare feet into a pair of Wellingtons in the kitchen. Samuel was asleep. He was snoring loudly.

When Joel emerged into the street he suddenly felt embarrassed. But it was too late now. She had already seen him come out of the front door. He couldn’t turn back now, or pretend that he hadn’t seen her.

They were standing on opposite sides of the street. Everything was silent. Nothing but night and the starry sky. Joel could feel the cold sneaking down into his boots. He walked hesitantly across the street, more or less forcing himself to move.

“Why are you standing here?” he asked.

“You threw a glass at my kitchen wall,” said Gertrud. “These things happen, I’ve done it myself. But I didn’t understand why. That’s why I’ve come here.”

“I’d nearly fallen asleep,” Joel said.

Why did he say that? Couldn’t he have thought of something better?

But what he said next made him even more surprised.

“Let’s go up to the flat,” he said. “I don’t have any socks on. It’s cold.”

Things were getting worse and worse.

He couldn’t take her up to the flat with him. What would happen if Samuel woke up? But there again, it was too late. He couldn’t take it back now.

“Maybe you’ve got to get back home?” asked Joel tentatively.

“I’ve got all the time in the world,” she said. “Besides, I’ve never seen what your home is like.”

“We’d better be as quiet as possible. So that we don’t wake Samuel up.”

They were inside the house now.

“Which steps creak?” she asked.

“The fourth, fifth and twelfth,” Joel told her.

They entered the flat without making a sound. It was the first time Joel had ever had a visitor in the middle of the night.

“It smells good,” she whispered as they stood in the kitchen.

“It smells of fried herring,” said Joel.

Samuel snored. They went into Joel’s room and closed the door. He placed his finger over his lips.

“Sound carries in here,” he said.

“Old houses have good ears,” she said, sitting down on his bed.

Joel felt uneasy. He didn’t want Samuel to wake up. To come into his room and find Gertrud there.

Now those thoughts started coming back again.

He could see her nose that didn’t exist.

He had been visited by a nose that didn’t exist.

He’d have preferred it to be Ehnström’s new shop assistant visiting him. Sitting there on his bed. Sitting there wearing ordinary clothes, and speaking with a Stockholm accent.

But it was Gertrud who’d turned up.

It seemed as if she could read his thoughts again.

“Why did you throw that glass?” she asked.

Joel looked down and stared at his feet. He could see that his left foot was dirtier than his right one. It was always the same. And he didn’t understand why. How could feet attract different amounts of muck?

“I don’t know,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Of course you meant to,” she said. “Why else would you start throwing glasses around?”

Joel was still staring at his feet. He hadn’t the slightest idea what to say. He couldn’t possibly tell her that he suddenly found her revolting. That all he could see was the nose she didn’t have on her face.

When he glanced up at her, he could see that her expression was very worried. A beam of light from the moon was illuminating her face. He had a guilty conscience.

“It was nothing,” he mumbled.

Now he could look at her again. She looked him in the eye.

“I think you’re growing up,” she said.

That was something Joel was pleased to hear. That he was growing up. But there again, there was something in her tone of voice that worried him. What did she mean by saying that just now?

That was the kind of thing that grown-ups often did. Joel knew that he would have to learn—the most important thing was often not what was said.

But when it was said.

“There’s nobody as childish as I am,” he said.

She shook her head.

“You’re growing up,” she said again. “And before long, one of these days, you’ll have forgotten that I exist. You might even fail to greet me when we meet in the street. Or you’ll cross over to the other side.”

Joel stared at her in astonishment.

“Why shouldn’t I greet you?”

“Because you’re embarrassed.”

“What should I be embarrassed about?”

She replied by asking a question.

“Why did you throw that glass at the wall?”

If Joel had been holding a glass at that moment, he’d have hurled it at the wall. He wouldn’t have cared less if he’d woken Samuel up.

Her questions made him angry. He was angry because she was right.

Even so, he shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to,” he said. “Why were you standing out there in the street? I might not have seen you.”

“In that case I’d have thrown a snowball at your window. You’ve shown me before which is your bedroom window.”

“That wouldn’t have been a good idea,” Joel said. “Samuel would have woken up. And he doesn’t like me having girls in my room at this time of night.”

If he could, he’d have bitten his tongue off. He could hear how stupid it sounded. Even if he hadn’t even started playing forfeits yet. Now she would expose him for what he was.

But she didn’t. She said nothing.

Instead she stood up so quickly that Joel gave a start.

“Anyway, now I know why you threw that glass at my kitchen wall,” she said.

“But I haven’t answered that question. All I’ve said is that I didn’t mean to.”

“That’s enough for me,” she said. “I’m going home now. And shouldn’t you get some sleep?”

Joel tiptoed after her into the hall. Gertrud really knew how to move without making the slightest sound. He stood in the doorway and heard that she’d remembered which steps to avoid. She didn’t leave a single creak behind.

He watched her from his window. Just like that dog, she materialized in the light from the streetlamp, then
vanished. At that very moment he thought that she was less repulsive. At the same time, it seemed that something had changed forever that evening. But Joel couldn’t work out what it was.

It was as if something was missing. Something that used to be there. But it had been replaced by something else. And he didn’t know what it was.

He undressed and snuggled down into bed. He felt very tired.

He thought about Gertud, walking home through the night. She would have reached the railway bridge by now. But he had the feeling that somebody was coming towards her from the other direction. Somebody who passed Gertrud in the middle of the bridge. Somebody Gertrud hadn’t noticed. At first he wasn’t sure who it was. But then he knew. It was Ehnström’s new shop assistant. And she was naked underneath trans parent veils. Despite the fact that it was the middle of the night, and winter was nearly here, and it was freezing cold.

Joel gave a start. He had almost dreamt his way into slumber. He jumped out of bed and went to the window. But there was nobody there by the streetlamp. Certainly not a naked woman.

Joel went back to bed. Suppressed all thoughts about Gertrud.

Tomorrow he would find out who this new shop assistant was. She must have a name. She must live somewhere.

She must have her transparent veils hanging up on a coat hanger somewhere or other.

Perhaps on a coat hanger made of gold.

Needless to say, next morning Joel overslept. Samuel had to give him a good shaking and more or less lift him out of bed in order to wake him up.

“You’ll be late for school if you don’t get a move on.”

“I’ll manage.”

He got washed and dressed, and sat down at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and a few sandwiches. He wasn’t really hungry. But if he didn’t eat now, he’d be hungry even before they’d finished singing the morning hymn.

“There’s a funny smell in the kitchen,” Samuel said out of the blue.

“Yes, it smells of herring,” said Joel.

“No, it smells of perfume,” said Samuel. “You’d almost be tempted to think there’d been a woman here last night, paying a secret visit.”

Then he smiled. Joel could feel himself blushing. Had Samuel noticed that Gertrud had been here after all? Despite the fact that he’d been snoring all the time?

Joel waited anxiously for what was going to come next. Samuel could sometimes fly into a terrible temper. Often when you least expected it. But this time he just kept on smiling. And said nothing more. Just got ready for work, said goodbye and left.

Joel remained seated at the table. Gertrud always smelled of perfume. Joel was so used to it that he didn’t even think about it.

What had Samuel meant? Had he noticed what had gone on?

Joel sat thinking about what would have been the right thing for him to say. He sat there so long that he was late for school, of course. Miss Nederström looked reproachfully at him when he entered the classroom. Otto was smirking, as usual. Joel hoped angrily that no woman would ever dance in transparent veils in front of
him
.

“If you go on like this I’ll have to have a word with your dad,” said Miss Nederström. “You arrive late far too often.”

Joel said nothing, merely walked to his desk and sat down.

“Why are you late?”

“I overslept.”

“Haven’t you got an alarm clock?”

“It’s broken.”

“But surely your dad wakes you up?”

“He overslept as well.”

The class giggled. Joel felt as if he’d painted himself into a corner. If he was asked just one more question, he would explode. This time he wouldn’t merely throw a glass at the wall. This time he’d throw the whole world at Miss Nederström’s face. But she didn’t say anything more. The lesson continued.

It was math. And Joel kept getting his sums wrong. That was because he was spending all the time planning the expedition he would launch that same evening. When Ehnströms Livs closed, Joel would be lurking in the shadows, waiting for her.

He occasionally glanced at the Greyhound. She always got her sums right. He tried to get at least a third of the answers right by copying down what she had written.

On Wednesday evenings Samuel generally had dinner round at Sara’s place. And then he would spend the night there. Sara was Samuel’s girlfriend, and she worked at Ludde’s bar in the center of town, just behind the Community Center. The atmosphere inside there was heavy with clouds of smoke, the smell of wet wool and old rubber boots. Early on, soon after Samuel had first met Sara, Joel had had problems with her. He’d been afraid she would take Samuel away from him. First of all Mummy Jenny had taken herself away from Joel. And now it looked like Sara was taking Samuel away as well.

But things were better now. Not least because Samuel seldom drank so much that he got drunk and started scrubbing the kitchen floor in the middle of the night. If there was anything Joel was afraid of, it was finding Samuel drunk. He was always worried about that possibility. Always prepared for the worst. But it hardly ever happened nowadays. And that had to be thanks to Sara.

The fact that it was Wednesday suited Joel down to the ground. He’d be able to sit at the kitchen table and work out his plans for the evening. He didn’t need to prepare a proper dinner, but could get away with boiling a couple of eggs and making some sandwiches.

Ehnström’s grocery shop closed at six. So he would have to be in place by then at the latest.

It was now a quarter past five. He’d need to leave in half an hour. He could feel the tension. Shadowing somebody who didn’t know that you were there—that was about as good as it got for Joel.

A few years ago, he’d spent nearly all his time shadowing other people. He’d followed the vicar and the pharmacist, and even Stationmaster Knif. The only person he’d never tailed was Miss Nederström. But then, she never went out, apart from when she went to and fro between school and the house she lived in. Nobody had ever noticed Joel trailing them. He didn’t know why following people was so exciting. Could it be because it meant that he was in charge of the situation? Time just flashed past.

Time for him to leave now. He laced up his boots and set off. At five minutes to six he was standing in the shadows on the opposite side of the street. He could see through the display window that there were still a few people in the shop. Then they left, one after another. The roller blind was pulled down inside the entrance
door.
Closed
. Joel waited. Now he started to worry that she might not even be there tonight.

But then she emerged through the back door.

It was the new shop assistant, no doubt about it.

He waited until she had turned the corner by the furniture shop.

Then he started following her.

The adventure had begun.

Joel sneaked round the street corner.

There she was, up ahead. She’d crossed over the street and was walking along the opposite pavement. Joel waited until she had almost reached the derelict plot where the watchmaker’s shop had been until it burnt down. Then he set off after her. She’d stopped at the kiosk. He couldn’t see what she bought there. Joel was about to start following her again but he stopped dead. Samuel was coming towards him on the other side of the street. On his way to Sara’s. Joel darted onto the derelict site and crouched down behind a pile of charred roof beams. He watched Samuel pass by. Now I’ll never find her, he thought angrily. He hurried back into the street. There was nobody standing at the kiosk. He stopped at the window and took off one of his mittens. It was Old
Man Rudin who was serving. He was the one who used to sell Otto the magazines that weren’t on display, but hidden away on a shelf under the counter.